Tuesday, May 4, 2010


I've never been good at goodbyes.

After jam packing life into a duffel, we went to sleep. Moments of silence are broken only by a heart beat. I dug my head as deep into his chest as I could. Every thump was exactly what I wanted to hear, and exactly what I didn't. Only because each beat was a second closer to leaving. I shut my eyes, shut them tight; thinking that maybe for that instant, I could make time stop. He woke me up at 7:30 A.M. I shut my eyes, trying to some how use my mind to make the clock quit ticking, even if just for a moment. "2 minutes?".. he chuckled and said "okay". Two minutes came too early. He grabbed a duffel and handed me a bag. As we left the door, I tried again to make time stop, but it wasn't happening. Weren't we just packing? He hugged me, and when his heart beat wasn't pounding against mine, for just an instant, time stopped.

Now it's the opposite. I want time to fast-forward to me waking up, having you right there. Missing someone gets easier with time.. because even though it is one day further from the last time you saw each other, it is one day closer to the next time you will. I am anxiously waiting for the day I get to say, "daddy's hoooomeee".

I said goodbye to Scarborough this morning, and it wasn't easy. It is raining, and raining hard. I plan to go to my room and blast the "Foreign Exchange", and grab a listen at rain hitting the window. Call me crazy, but each drop sounds kind of like a heart beat.


Anonymous said...

You two are fucking cute. Fitting song too, BIG TUNE. I wasn't really sure if guy was from Toronto, now I know that he is, I gotta send love. (I'm from Toronto too)
Much love from Toronto!!!!

Anonymous said...

once again, you are great at writing and it was like i could feel what you are feeling. and when writing for an audience, you know how to capture one's attention.

in other words, i feel ya.

Anonymous said...

^^^ Couldn't a gree more. You have talent Botch.

syntifik said...

wow.. comments like these are exactly what i needed..

#1: BIG TUNNNNEEEEEE! banger. toronto forever.

#2: thank you, so so so so so much. honestly, this comment almost made me cry. thank you.

#3: thank you so much!