Thursday, April 29, 2010


i can't open my left eye. my allergies have completely taken over my body. i don't know what to do. i'm sick of taking medications, nothing's fix it.. and i'm sick of seeing doctors that keep feeding me medications that aren't doing anything for me. i'm itchy and embarrassed and don't want to see anybody. i can't stop crying because i feel like crap.. and that's shameful because it's nothing to cry about.. and today is my dad's day.. and i miss him like crazy.. and time doesn't do anything. it still feels like the very first day i had to say goodbye.

i changed the song to one he used to sing on early mornings. every morning was the same. every day felt the same.. and i was fine with that. i remember waking up to the sound of my dad in the shower and my mom turning up the weather channel so she could sing along with it. she'd dress me while i was sleeping, and he'd come out of the shower in a towel to ask me what shirt was better as i opened my eyes slow. it was normal for me to wake up in their bed. at night time i'd leave my room to get in between my mom and dad. it was a safe zone from night mares and monsters.
my mom would change the channel to morning cartoons and start cooking breakfast. you'd think we'd be sick of the grilled cheese sandwiches by now, but we weren't. she'd throw them on to a paper towel and we'd be off.. ready to face the day. gotta grab my sister and my brother. both would have their music blasting as they got ready.. and we'd head to the garage. me in the middle, my sister behind my dad who was in the driver's, and my brother behind my mom. pulling out my dad always put his arm behind my mom's passenger, an essential when pulling out.. it was easier to look behind you.. but as a kid, i didn't see that. i saw that as my dad saying how much he loved my mom.

the three of us would all make fun of each other. my mom would tell us to stop, and my dad would follow my mom, whilst smiling though. almost to say that we were comedians. drop my sister off at daniel mac and my brother at sargent park.. and then to bueno brothers, where i spent my morning before i went to school.
this was mine and my dad's time. after everyone greeted my parents with their good morning's, i ran to the back office. artwork from a four year old wall-papered his office walls, and he put a tv back there so i could watch inspector gadget. he'd do his paperwork while i made more artwork.. and we'd have conversations about absolutely nothing. as it came time for me to go to kindergarten, he'd grab a tapioca pudding, our favorite.. and we'd share it on the walk to school.. "goodbye princess" and a kiss on the cheek. i was his "little princess", and he was my "superman". & it was all too easy.
it was a routine. it was the same every day.. and it was perfect. i miss you.
time will never change how much i miss you.

every day, every single day daddy. i remember. i will always remember. i love you. i miss you. i love you, i miss you.. and i just can't .. do this right now.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010


.. and i know of some things that be wack and shit.

HEY! i came up with a lot of things for today this week AND i remembered to write them all down. so enough with the yakkedy yack, here's what's wack.

i love when girls get boob jobs, then in their outfits they have no cleavage.. cause like either their boobs are too far apart, or they're super high at like their shoulders. i don't mind boob jobs, as long as you're doing it for yourself.. but when you're doing it so you can be a hoe, mother fucker you deserve that shit.

she's still a fucking hoe. FUCK OFF JENNY! WILL YOU JUST LEAVE THE CITY ALREADY?! what is your fucking deal! honestly! you don't know shit! you're just a horny slut without any friends. i hate you!!

girls who think i want their boyfriend. PLEASE. stop. i do not want your shit. so please stop eye'ing me like you're going to beat me down with your eyeballs. I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. & i am absolutely fully 500% committed to him right now. I FUCKING HATE GIRLS@!!! LEAVE ME ALONE.

stop talking shit about kristin. talk to her if you wanna say something. she's too ill na na for you guys. i used to love all three of you, but if you're not being straight up with kristin, you deserve to be cussed off. YUP.


i understand everyone has an opinion. everyone sees something a certain way, and that's their shit. i enjoy myself a good debate every now and then.. but when it comes to a certain point, it is time to realize that you are not going to change what the other person thinks. it's time to let that shit go and realize that hey.. what you think is what you think, what the other person thinks is what the other person thinks. LET IT GO. arguments that last for a month are childish. we're grown people. we're grown./

when you're in line anywhere, and the person ahead of you whips out this change purse.. with a billion other things in it, to count out their amount in change so they can receive an equal amount. i especially hate this when their total is like 9.98. they're like whipping out these cards, and garbage from their coin purse to find enough coins to equal 98 cents.. LIKE REALLY PEOPLE!? you do realize you're going to get two pennies back, is that really worth keeping me from getting to the front of the line!? if you have change fine, but at least have that shit out instead of digging for it for five hours. "okay.. and that's 98 cents! .. and i think i have a coupon here somewhere.." FUCK ME.

i travel quite a bit compared to the regular person, so i've had my share of plane rides.. and i HAAAAAAAAAAATTTEEE when you land, and everybody gets up like there's a fire. THE CAPTAIN CLEARLY SAYS STAY SEATED TIL THE PLANE IS STOPPED.. and all this rushing just makes shit go even slower..!! like hello, these aisles are big enough for a single file line, you're not going to pass anybody, so just fucking wait your fucking turn.. OH!! and then, these rushing assholes get off the plane, and they stand infront of the fucking doorway to wait for their friend, or family. REALLY?! can you not wait at baggage claim, or at least move to the side?! you nearly trampled me, and my carry on, to block my way some more.

NO $$$$
isn't it annoying when you have all this cash, and you go shopping and buy nothing.. then when you have no cash, you see something you've wanted for a long time, and it's the last one.. and when you get cash to go get it, it isn't there anymore. this always happens to me. i always find something i want when i don't have money. yeah. that's wack.


Tuesday, April 27, 2010


MY BAD. i haven't blogged since thursday, and in bloggin time, that's light years.. life has just been too crazy!! my allergies have been kicking my ass.. and so has the weekend! i'm working my ass off and plan to keep working my ass off for the rest of the summer, whilst partying fucking hard.. once my allergies are gone that is. i think i've seen a total of one thousand doctors this month and not one of them have had an ABSOLUTE answer for what's causing this shit. i've been to two hospitals, taking fifteen pills a fucking day, plus two other prescriptions.. and i have two new ones to try out. YAY!

in brighter news, i've made it to my computer today on a fine tuesday night.. to mention a few things.. number one being, I LOVE KRISTIN CAVALLARI! omg lady. you are the shit. serious to life, she is one fucking bomb ass girl. team kristin forever.

number two being thoughts on tumblr. i've had a few people asking me to switch over from blogspot to tumblr, and i just haven't made the decision. it took me almost five months to make the big jump from lj to blogspot.. that's some shit.. i've been blogging since i was 14!! so parting from something is hard.. i like all my shit organized and in one spot, so when i want to look back, it's easy.
anyway, i really dig tumblr, it seems easy to manage, and that more people have it./ however, it's more for "inspiration". i've based this blog on the exact opposite. i try and make my blog more like it's definition. my journal, in a public sense. i try to write as much as possible to keep going.. if i'm not writing on paper, hey, at least i have my blog.. and that's my biggest thing with tumblr.. there's not a lot of writing on it as oppose to a quote, or a picture. i like that shit too, but i fear if i get one that i'll lose the motivation to actually blog.
i feel almost as if people are getting lazy to blog. with every new internet thing that pops up, it's almost like a short cut. well.. i guess in a sense, that is what the internet is. a short cut. so how do we differentiate between laziness and powerful shit!? it's a doozy.
i'm still an avid blog cruiser. i take the time to look at different blogs because i find people interesting. i don't really read blogs that talk about things not related to the person because to me, that isn't a blog. that's half the reason i don't read kanye's blog. no diss to him, i love kanye, i just don't find his blog interesting, to me. i loove cudi's blog. that dude is fucking comical.. and he puts time into his entries which is relatable on a level that makes you feel exactly what dude typed.. so.. with all that being said.. my question to you today is this..


Thursday, April 22, 2010


with the passing of both guru and nujabes, i figured it was best to do todays throwback on them.

the illness behind samurai champloo.. if that doesn't say enough, i don't know what will. i found out about nujabes really late.. almost two weeks after he passed.. which is hard to believe, being that he is such an amazing hip hop producer... but his news didn't make it to english news quick.. i'm hearing he has a lot of things he hasn't released, and it will be coming out this year.. which is definitely something to look forward to! so keep a look out.

i literally wrote down a guru quote hours before he passed.. which was a trip. when i heard he was in a coma, i figured, he'd break out of it.. so it was still a surprise. what's gang starr without guru!! & today on the radio, when reading about gangstarr's death, the dj said "militia" as "mill-uh-tee-uh"... it should be "MILL-ISH-A!".. it hurts my soul to hear things like that!
recognize good music, gang starr's flow was an illness on another level! i happened to read the letter about premier, not sure whether i believe in it or not.. but it doesn't matter. all that matters is that the man made great music, and that music should be heard. so listen.

imagine a nujabes beat with guru's flow on it.. now that's heaven.

also.. since i've been getting asked about songs from my playlist.. i've decided to leave you with the songs that i've used each month.. i'll start at the beginning of the month.. but i'll post the three lists of songs now, cause i've used three playlists since the beginning of march or some shit.. so here you go!

kid cudi - pursuit of happiness
snoop dogg, cudi - that tree
david guetta, cudi - memories
dan black, cudi - symphonies
cudi - alive
cudi - super boo
land of the loops - multi-family garage sale
cypress hill - dr. green thumb
the beatles - lucy in the sky with diamonds
people under the stairs - acid raindrops
kanye west - addiction
sublime - santeria
steelers wheel - stuck in the middle with you
bone thugs n harmony - weed song
bone thugs n harmony - smoking buddah
bob marley - jamming
bob marley - stir it up

jedi mind tricks - razorblade salvation
canibus - channel zero
mos def - travellin man
epmd - da joint
jeru the damaja - ya playing yourself
jean grae - it's still a love song
epmd - crossover
cru - just another case
hobo junction - da real deal
jurassic 5 - freedom
binary star - masters of the universe
souls of mischief - never no more
gang starr - mass appeal
ATCQ - excursions
ras kass - won't catch me runnin

guru tribute
quasimoto - boom music
blu & exile - my world is
trends of culture - off & on
digital underground - way we swing
gang starr - above the clouds
cudi - i do my thing
ayentee - breaking up with money
cudi - cleveland
torae & marco polo - hold up
ayomari - so called twenties
luciana - i like that
luciana - bigger than big
ayomari - day by day
slaughterhouse - the one

you're welcome.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010



i can NOT stress enough, how much i hate skulls.. on clothing mostly.. on rings it doesn't bother me so much.. but ugh. they usually aren't cool looking skulls, they're homo looking ones. fucking lame. i have a pretty sweet skull ring though, that's prolly my only exception.

:( you make me look 4'11 !! it's so hard for me to see, i'm little:(.. im 5'6 btw!

listening to the radio, three seperate people pronounced "shaolin" as "shay-oh-lynn", pharoahe monche as "pharoahe monk", and "rza" as "are-zee-A".. if you don't know, cool. fine. whatevs.. no big deal! it just hurts to hear people who say they know something, wrong. i'm a firm believer in only saying things that i believe are fact.. if i don't know something, i'll admit to it. i don't know shit about a lot of shit, but for the shit that i know shit about, you can expect to hear shit about it! shit.

there were four people at tables. one table had two girls. one table had a couple. i asked generally, "excuse me, would any of you happen to have a lighter".. broad at the couple table looked at me with this ".. really?" type look. look bitch, i am not trying to hook up with your geek faced looking boyfriend, i just want a fucking smoke alright.

don't say this to me unless you really mean fifteen minutes! 1 hour later isn't fifteen! at least gimmie a courtesy call.. im rushin to get ready realizing you should've been there ten minutes ago..and people wonder why i'm always late to everything.. cuz i figure fifteen minutes means an hour these days! lol.

that denim louis vuitton bag, black ed hardy cardigan, zebra printed dress, leopard printed shoes aren't doing it for you old lady. i get it, you're expensive. i can understand people want to floss, i've never really been like that. i dress in what i think is comfortable.. i get excited about designer tags, but i'm not about to ever dump my life savings into something just so people think my life is proper. i'd rather have a high savings account than look like a walking douche bag with designer throw up on my body.

i have never lived on a farm. i was actually born in a city. we have cars, just like other cities.. and buses. i don't live in an igloo. nor do my neighbours. i don't know everyone from winnipeg, and i've never walked into a local grocery store with a greeting from the cashier. i don't go to a diner to eat, i don't have a regular meal. i've met/seen different people, every day. i am from an AMAZING city, which i hold dear to my heart, so if i ever hear "fuck there's nothing to do in winnipeg".. you can just spit that shit to someone else. winnipeg and toronto are my home, for now, and forever.

:( i do not likey.

when a waiter/waitress comes up to you as your mouth is stuffed with food.. and ask, how is everything.. "fuiaghkjgasdasd asjdkhas fjhjdaaa?" yeah i didn't think you would understand. just keep your eyes on my water, when the glass is empty, come on over.

when people get tattoos in a language that isn't a part of their culture.. okay, so you're filipino, but you're getting a tattoo in italian?! don't getttt ittt.. i guess i'm kind of an asshole who believes in tattoos that mean something. i think they're art. & i think that the whole language thing is just douche bags trying to be cool.. like in mean girls, when they're confessing and he says "SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE!" "do you even go to this school?!" YEAH~!!! THATS WHAT YOU'RE DOING, but with tattoos!

anyways, my ass fucking hurts. payce.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


my heart literally broke a little this morning when i found out about guru. RIP GURU, your music will live on forever!

with today being 4/20, i decided to change my playlist to music i like to bunn to. i hope you enjoy it as much as i will today! & i also hope everyone has a good 4/20. i'm not sure how many of my readers are pot smokers or not.. but for today's choose-day, i decided to ask you..


now i'm going to turn up my speakers, grab all my munchies, and zoooooone. i'll make another post later on, but til then.. i'll see you under the sun:) and if there's any songs that you like blazing to, that i've missed, throw 'em down, i'd love to hear 'em!

Monday, April 19, 2010


i had a horrible day of being inside while everyone was at the park, or getting ice cream.. or tanning!.. yup. my allergies are still kicking my ass.. and so are the 15 pills i have to take a day. *gag. so sorry to everyone i was rude to today. i'm moody as shit! anyway, can't let the monday blues get in the way of a mixtape review.. hey, how ya doooiiinnnnn..

when it comes to hip hop instrumentals being "re-vamped" or even just sampled, i get a little nervous. every single hip hop beat ever made is just as important as the artist throwing down on it.. i wouldn't want flocka performing on a dilla beat. there's just no way..!
it's ridiculous how much attention dilla is getting, and some times i get a little irritated, like fuck.. don't ruin a good thing.. !! the roots are no strangers to paying homage to the man.. so this mixtape wasn't a surprise, til i listened. being friends of dilla, they certainly captured the essence of hip hop that no other person could.. you had to be close to dilla to capture his beats so amazingly well.. almost like they made this shit together. if you close your eyes, you can literally see ?uestlove talking to j, like "yo i could play this, let's try it". your body is over-whelmed with warmth and you don't wanna be cold.
it's hard for me to stress how important music is to me. i feel like no one gets what music does to me.. putting it into words never seems to put that emotion into perspective the way i'd like it to. a smile captured my mouth as soon as i hit the play button.. it hasn't left. simple as that. the live playing grabs some what of a depth that's refreshing in a new sense, with out that new shit.
dilla is so amazing to me because i feel like he doesn't have any beats where you need words. don't confuse that, i enjoy my pharcyde songs just like the next person.. but his beats are so well put together, that you can hear what's being said.. and that's the beauty of music.. being able to feel what the producer/artist put into that shit!
g'head and bob your head to this one.

so .. i'm officially super stoked to see the roots this year!!

.. i love my life as liz! totally scripted.. still love.

Sunday, April 18, 2010


hey guyyyyssss.. so i received a lot of questions this week!.. i got a lot of great questions, and picking my brain made my day.. so thanks for your continued interest! so i just finished answering them.. read the answers after the jump..
Favorite Chick flick?
the notebook.. and mean girls! lol

Favorite Drama TV show?
gossip girl.

Favorite Comedy TV show?
the office!.. and friends!

how do you feel about mainstream music?
some days, i want to take all radios, and smash them.
.. but i enjoy me a good britney tune..! lol

what's your take on plastic surgery?
i think it's silly.. unless you were like in a fatal car crash or something.. i hate boob jobs.
i think flaws can sometimes be the most amazing things about people.

If you could have dinner with three people.. alive or dead...who would they be and why?
my dad, nas and my mom.
i say nas because, well hello. he's the biggest inspiration in my life aside from my parents.. and i say my parents, because they're my inspiration and guard.. i said my dad because i admire him so much, and would love a meal with him.. i can't really remember what that's like.. and if i'm having dinner with my pops, my mom deserves the same!

what are you most insecure about?

would you ever bang on the first date?
this is a doozy. i feel like guys are dicks, and no matter what kind of person you are, if you bang on the first date, it's a wrap. they're going to think you're trashy.. i'm going to say, NO i wouldn't bang on a first date, but fuck.. everyone makes mistakes.. and i'm everyone. i respect myself, and want to be treated the same.. so hopefully, banging on the first date won't go down if i'm really diggin this guy..
unless it's like.. nas. then yooooo..

favorite books? any recommendations?
i LOOOOOVEEEE strega by andrew vachss.. AMAZING author.. and after strega, i couldn't let go of him.. but strega is still my favorite.. i also like "if tomorrow comes" by sidney sheldon, it's the only book that i've read more than 5 times.
i read fight club by chuck pahlahniuk, and it was the only book by him that i read.. and someone suggested rant to me, which was great! the last books i finished were invisible monsters (sweet book) and choke by him.. so i dig him too!
there you go, you have a whole list..! hope it lasts you:)

fav character on gossip girl?

are you a jealous person?
i try not to be, but i totally am.. with everything.. when my friends get new friends i get a little un-easy. like "I SHOULD BE YOUR ONLY FRIEND!" ahha.. and i get jealous of people i feel are better at something than i am.. and when it comes to the boyfriend, if i see a girl talking to him.. i'll freak out.. but i freak out inside, bite my lip and restrain myself. the thing about my jealousy is i know it's stupid, so i cover it up with cockiness and hope that no one sees the diff!

do you have an alter ego?lol
uhm.. some times i feel like i do.. i tend to do really horrible selfish things some times, without thinking they're horrible.. and then later, i'll feel guilty.. and debate with the guilt.. like "eh it wasn't THAT bad" when it really was lol.. watch out, i'm trouble.

What's your favorite genre of music?
hip hop.

thanks again for all the questions.. i look forward to what you have to ask this week!!



strawberry daiquiri blog chillin cuz it's so fucking hot outside.
mobile uploads for your punk ass.

my partner in crime.

be quiet, i'm allergy'd :(

mark doesn't mind rashes! clearly.

wowzers. that don't look like us at all.

we stay fly, no lie.. you know this.


present from pharoahe monch to my cousin.

fuck it's hot. can i catch some sweat up in this biatch?!

off to the hospital.. wish me luck people.

Saturday, April 17, 2010


i'm way too sleepy to do a sneaker post today.. plus i need to start getting ready for hecticism! yeah, i make up words. i'm so fucking tired man. medications x allergies x not enough hours = stupid collabo. it was fucking hot today. too bad i didn't get to see any of it.. don't complain botch.. complaining gets you nowhere!! where the fuck are all my friends?! call me..!! don't text me though.

Friday, April 16, 2010


joe budden could get it.

we enjoys the hip hops.

that right there ladies and germs.. would be pharoahe monch.

it's hard to get pictures .. he moved around a lot. lol

L's in the air, for Big L

right when slaughterhouse came on.. i was far from the stage:(

no worries, i know how to push.

joe budden on the speaker.. *sigh.

almost at the front..


bonjour monsieur ortiz!

budden was sick so he drank his appo juices.

beats & rhymes.

must be..

as close to joe budden..

as possible!

ahhh!! i love you!!


lol.. clearly budden is my favs.


"ye he sleepy."

royce too sick.

can i have a drag.. lol



ortiz loves the jack daniels.


check that slaughterhouse tattoo.. dedication my friends, dedication.

simon says, nice to meet you..

.. and then my camera died. LOL!

.. wellls! i know this is some what of a late post.. but i've been allergy proned, in the hospital and shit so fuck off. it's here, so chill out.
i got there and only one bar was open.. thanks to everyone who bought me beer, i didn't realize anyone bought me beer.. but some how i attained like 7 beers and only spent $5. so thanks..! opening dj was legit. i thoroughly enjoyed it.. minus that 50 cent. UGH! can i ever go anywhere without hearing wack shit!? i wait for the day.
the crowd was interesting.. there were literally ten girls there. the man to woman ratio.. wow. brutal. i also received the "you here with your boyfriend?!" comment. i fucking hate that shit. LISTEN HERE PEOPLE, i've loved hip hop forever, and will continue to love hip hop forever, BEFORE MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND, so eat me fuckers. girls can like hip hop too!! .. but only cool ones do.
everyone (and by everyone, i mean all these dudes) were like 5'11 at the shortest.. me standing at 5'6 was out-shined. mother fucker ! i felt so small:( tall dudes was everywhere!! monch hit the stage at around 12ish?! AND HOLY FUCK.. i usually try and get to the stage before the artist hits the stage, so i have a good spot.. but the stage was crawling with towering men, and i had no spot.. my boyfriend some how wedged me to the stage.. but honestly.. dudes don't give a fuck about you when it comes to music. they could give a fuck if you're a pregnant 50 year old, they will let you know they have elbows. they were giving me heated grills like crazzy.. and my ribs were getting rammed into the stage.. pyramid figured some how that placing a banner for a radio station around the stage would kind of separate people from crawling on to the stage.. but that was a fail. i took a few elbows and shoulders to the face and it was brutal.. but also worth it.. TO HEAR SIMON SAYS LIVE!!
vodka was flying, i was soaking wet with spilling alcohol, sweat from jerks, and taking body shots like a failed boxer.. but that energy.. that energy was ridiculous. i never really complain about getting hit and shit during a show if it's by the right people.. if you're there to just fucking hit me, then i don't care how small i am, i will throw an elbow to your fucking jaw too.. but if you're there and you actually love the music.. and you're not throwing elbows, it's just good fucking music flowing through you.. then go for it. there were a few fucking dudes who were just high on some shit.. that was annoying.. but the majority of the crowd was real, so i can appreciate that. if you're going to be at the front of the stage, make sure you can lyric drop.. otherwise i'm taking your spot.
pharoahe's energy was ridiculous. i swear he must've had four fucking red bulls straight because he did not stop.. he did an accapella too which was cool.. and he shouted out a lot of peaced, so that was cool too. his back up singer was fucking soulful as shit.. and he was really cool too. after the show i met up with him, and he was really bashful. i was like "you are one fucking soulful fuck." and he replied with "aw thanks, but there's far better than me." kudos my man. kudos.
when slaughterhouse hit the stage, the place exploded. there was this thugged out girl who towered over me, and i'm like shit.. once i bump into her, it's over. i could not take this girl. she was like 5'11, fully tattooed, ready to hurt a dude. and dudes kept ramming me into her..! she was grilling me hard, so i said "hey real hip hop lives at the front".. that comment couldve gotten me killed.. but she laughed and let me go in front of her. thanks ma.
joell ortiz was funny as fuck. WHAT AN ENTERTAINER! royce da 5 9 was ill too (no rock city!).. crooked I didn't show up.. BUT JOE BUDDEN! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! he was either extremely sick.. or really, really zoned. actually fuck that, let's not be silly.. he was both. BUT TO SEE BUDDEN LIVE.. i did it. i fucking did it. hope you got to sleep early budden.. ! sick as fuck or not, slaughterhouse was fucking amazing.. they did not skip out on shit. they performed very well.. energy was legit, fan-fucking-tastic. their performance was easily comparable with their album.. but even better because shit was live. they have a dope bond.. and joked around with each other.. at one point budden took jokes at joell ortiz because he was air humping the dj table. shit was fucking comical and worth the money.
i think the biggest downer of the night was the sound problems.. it wasn't loud enough.. but that didn't really effect me because i was at the stage in front of a speaker, so it couldn't really get any louder for me..!
if you slept on this show, regret it now. 4.5/5

here's some video clips from my shitty camera.

.. and i dunno why my blog is only showing one entry on the front page. i tried looking through to see if i had any html that wasn't closed.. but i can't find any.. so, sorry?