CONFESSIONS OF A DEPRESSED COMIC.

So much.

JESSICA MOMENTS.

There's a girl in my class named Jessica, I don't know if it's because we're both Capricorns or if we're both just weird.. but I seriously think she may be at least one of the top ten funniest people I have ever met.. and because of that, I'd like to share with you, some Jessica moments.

Jessica: "I don't know Botch, maybe we should go into paramedics, because I look really good in fluorescent yellow."

Rach: *throws garbage toward garbage can but misses.*
Jessica: : "OOOH, white girl can't jump."

Jessica: "I threw away all my toe socks, my toenails just cut holes in them."

Prof: "And today we are starting Unit G."
Jessica: "G-g-g-g-g-g-G-UNIT!"

Til next time.

CONVERSATION I HEARD AT MY REGULAR COFFEE JOINT:

Isn't funny that I said, "regular coffee joint"? Not because of the term, well.. actually I guess, kind of, but more so because, HOLY SHIT GUYS! I never thought I'd have a "spot". Anyways.. this was the following conversation between the Barista and the customer in front of me:

Dude: "Who is this playing right now?!"
Barista: "It's the Chromatics."
Dude: "Yeah, I thought so, they're pretty much the only thing anyone should be listening to right now."
Barista: "I AGREE..!"

Whoa. Chill out. That's a bold statement.. and you agree?! Whole-heartedly? or..? I dunno about that.

AFTERNOONS WITH TYLER DURDEN.

Botch: "Hi, I'm here to beg for my phone back."
Tyler Durden: "Okay. So beg."
B: "Oh please oh please, fix my phone it's been a week!!"
T: "Good begging. Okay let me try some things and i'll see if that works.."
*fifteen to twenty later*
T: "Okay! So I tried some stuff.. and it didn't work!"
B: "Fun."
T: "The good news is, I found the problem.. it's your data port."
B: "..... ..... okay.. and.. then. So? ...???"
T: "It's a big job, I gotta take it apart and solder it."
B: *dies a little inside* "Okay, so when?"
T: "A couple days."
B: "I shall return, Tyler Durden, I shall return."


P.S. I think his real name is Rob.
P.P.S. Although he's mighty pleasing on the eyes, his news is never fine.
P.P.P.S. Wah :(