SAY YA BETTER BE READY CLOWN..

This is the kind of gritty I'm feeling right now. Happy Throwback Thursday. It's been awhile. Hope we're all well.

I GOT THE WOW STYLE, ALWAYS BEEN A FOUL CHILD..

Let's all take a moment and just celebrate Big L for a second. Good good. Put it on.

SMOKEY.

BACK IN THE DAY..

Remember when stalkers were a good thing, and not so wrong like my current encounter?! I remember those days..

A BORN TERROR, A REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE..

THROWBACK THURSDAY

SHYHEIM - ON AND ON

Shyheim is soooo under-rated.. even if the Wu was ghost-writing his songs, anyone who can pull cadence alone at that age.. LIKE THAT, deserves some. I refuse to believe the ghost-write. I think this kid just sees shit. I mean, I lived in the hood and knew what a pimp was, knew where the hookers stood.. at like the age of five. That shit just happens some time. I'm not trying to act like I'm hard though, just trying to show appreciation for Shyheim. J'adore!

Anyway, this fucking song.. IS A FUCKING CLASSIC GEM. Treasured forever.

THROWBACK THURSDAY.

Don't cha put it in your mouth! I remember watching this as a kid and being super scared of these blue things.. BUT COULDN'T HELP WATCHING IT. This song is still mad catchy.

I WILL MAKE YOU REALIZE.. I'LL ALWAYS BE RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE..

THROWBACK THURSDAY

"I would never ever run away, I'll be here to fight another day.." OHH YEAAHH KITTY N! My cousins and I would play this game for days when it first came out. I was always Kitty N. AND THIS SONG HERE GOES SO HARD.. It was on my green electro layout on asianavenue. OH THE DAYS! hahaha. Anyone wanna come over and play it?! Seriously.

THROWBACK THURSDAY

So NaS was doing a show when he found out Tupac was dead.. and to be able to NOT ONLY stop his show, and express homeage toward 'Pac.. but years later do tributes (like in my last post).. just makes me appreciate both hip hop, and NaS even more. This shit gave me chills.

I don't know what's going on with that red jumpsuit though. Really.

RIP 'Pac.

FORGIVE BUT DON'T FORGET.

THROWBACK THURSDAY

NAS - KEEP YA HEAD UP

It's rare that I talk about Tupac, just because the dude is a little bit of an odd thing for me to talk about. Never been a huge 'Pac fan, a fan nonetheless, but a huge fan, not close to one.. however.. when I saw this gem.. I nearly cried. He did this tribute damned well.. and moments like these push music to a state where it'll stay around forever. NaS & Pac, forever.. and even though you're fed up, keep ya kead up.

WOOOOWWWW..

THROWBACK THURSDAY!

So for those of you who don't know.. I've kept a journal since 1993, and I've been "blogging" since 2005. & I decided to take this Throwback Thursday and look back to see if I had any blog entries from this very day.. well I do.. in 2005.

Current mood: full
Current music: memphis bleek - infatuated
CASHEDD
fuck, it's humid outside, hot sticky weather.. yo. "SO HOT.. KEEP SWEATING !" so the story goes.

so today was the baseball game, which was surprisingly super cool ?! kinda fun. it ended up being me, matthew, cliff, maribeth, mildred, terry & mike chilling for the game. while terry, mike, cliff& i were having a cigarette, a baseball fell from the sky ?! haha ! OUT THE PARK ! terry kept it. it was soo funny though.

after the baseball game, maribeth, mildred and i went to the forks. (this spot by the river with a whole bunch of shops& what not.) mildred left, and maribeth and i were sitting by this fountain, when three guys approach us. one was holding a cigarette, so i asked if i could buy one off him, and he gave me one with the comment "nah you know what, because you're so pretty, you don't have to pay me." thats when we both looked at each other and realized this was gonna be a chop hahaha. they kept trying to persuade us to go and "party with them". we lied and said we had boyfriends, but it was still funny as fuck. all three of them were twenty one, and after we told them that yes, our "boyfriends" were "asian", they said that their dick is way bigger than asians. hahahaa. &maribeth's been going out with her mon for a year and a half ?! HAHA. you're a good actor mami. you should be on days of our lives. WELL OKAY. jokest line was "you're cute. i mean, i want you to have my kids. we'd have cute kids, right ?" ahha how the fuck do i answer that ?! *runs away.

on another note. my mommy found my brother's stash. hahaha. she yelled. yelled a lot. well i shouldnt say found, considering, the weed was just chillin on his desk. stupid headd. his excuse was "mom im just stressing right now.." i left the room, afraid i might laugh. hahahaha.

LOL. Oh wwowwwwww.. How embarrassing is that ! I was 17 and thought I was hot shit. "you should be on days of our lives", wrote that like I thought it was funny? HAHA. Who the fuck did I think I was ?! What a joke lol. I do wish it was hot outside though. Damn this cold weather!

THROWBACK THURSDAY.

They love the taste of blood, now I don't know what that means; but I know that I mean it. Maybe they're as evil as they seem, or maybe I only look out the window when it's scenic.... Get real they tell me, if only they knew, how real this life really gets. They would stop acting like a silly bitch, they would respect the cock, whether or not they believed in it. DOESN'T TAKE MUCH AND THAT'S MESSED UP..
I saw this live when I was 16. I rapped every word right back to Slug at the top of my lungs.. and every time I hear it, I do the exact same.

THROWBACK!

HEATHER B, M.O.P. - MY KINDA NIGGA
1996! Who doesn't appreciate heather b?! Prolly even more so than Lauryn Hill these days. OUCH. I SAID IT! This song is a gem.

THROWBACK THURSDAY, BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY THURSDAY.

NATALIE IMBRUGLIA - TORN
LOL, don't say nothin! This is my shit right here. I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much.. I'm all outta faith, this is how I feel.. ACT LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW IT.


METHOD MAN - BRING DA PAIN
CLAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCC!!!!


JAY-Z - I JUST WANNA LOVE U (GIVE IT 2 ME)
When the remy's in the system....... Oh man. Every time I hear this song a big smile comes to my face. I think this came out in 2000. Not lyrically amazing but fuck it. This shit bangs.


BIGGIE - FREESTYLE IN BROOLKYN
He's only 17 here! "and I'll love ya, cuz you a bitch". OMG. I was dying! The man right there! & when he says "I got it goin on", don't you just immediately agree?! Not the GOAT in my opinion, but this one definitely makes me appreciate the man even more! OH BIGGIE.


SCARFACE - I NEVER SEEN A MAN CRY
I'm not sure if I posted this video already, but if I haven't.. here ya go. Gotta love the geto boys, and gotta love that hard ass raw shit. Let's dedicate this to Perla since they hail from Houston. 1994 son!


DE LA - SATURDAYS
Because I love this song, and I love this video. So much fun! 5 days of work, one more day to play, c'mon everyboday, it's saturday, it's saturday!


HELTAH SKELTAH - THERAPY
Let's finish it off with some Heltah Skeltah, cuz that's the kind of mood I'm in. This shit is so undeniably fucking good man. That's what hip hop was about in the 90's. A girl singing the hook, smooth raps, and a calm ass beat. I usually hate songs if it's a rapper with a girl singin' the hook these days, cuz it never sounds anything like this. I still love sean price to the fullest, man.

GET REAL THEY TELL ME, IF ONLY THEY KNEW, HOW REAL THIS LIFE REALLY GETS.

This was the first concert I ever paid to see. Never regretted a penny. It was seven years ago. I rapped every word right back. One of the first musicians to ever grab hip hop for me, and make it stand right next to me. Atmosphere made me appreciate hip hop more and more, and still does. Gotta admit that the Minneapolis dude is stupid attractive as well. You're the man, Sluggo!

TOKYO POLICE CLUB.

So I went to see Tokyo Police Club last night. They're such an amazing band, and I've been lucky enough to see them a few times now. They even opened with, "Hey, this is our millionth time here, thanks for coming out". So here are some throwbacks from the first time I saw them in 2008. I swear, seeing them feels like the first time. They're just as good. They put on one fuck of a show, and they have the talent to back it.










I swear the first venue they played was ridiculously hot, so all my make up sweated off.. We're going for that all sweat, all party look.

THE MOST BEAUTIFULLEST THING IN THIS WORLD..

KEITH MURRAY - THE MOST BEAUTIFULLEST THING
I fucking love this song. I don't know how many times I've posted it, probably too many.. in my eyes, not enough. Geeze, 1994. What a fuckin' year. The best year for hip hop by far. One of the comments on this vid is, "This dude is very under rated! Ask any wack muthafucka, who claims to know everything about hiphop, but ain't heard of this lyrical beast. How come?????". TOUCHE SON, touche.

THROWBACK THURSDAY

I tried desperately to find shadrach, but there isn't an embed version anywhere! Which really sucks :( I really wanted to throw that shit on today. So do me a favor, go listen to it now!


LUNIZ - I GOT 5 ON IT
Now luniz was to tupac what drake is to lil wayne. He was about to be featured on the next album, but passed. Can you imagine what that would've been like?! Maybe more people would have heard of Luniz.. perhaps he'd still be rapping. Perhaps it'd be commercial.. Oh my thoughts get the best of me.


JAY-Z - CAN'T KNOCK THE HUSTLE
Today I read that the original song was meant to be sung by Veronica, and she was replaced by Mary stupid Blige because she was more popular. As much as I hate all of that (whether it's a lie or not I'm not sure), I've loved this song since time.


OUTKAST - GIT UP GET OUT
Great song! Great fuckin song! & look how young Big Boi is *giggle*. Every time I hear this song, I get this rush of "yeah, quit fuckin around people!", and okay sometimes I resonate that toward myself as well. This is what music and music videos are about man. Great fucking rap, no fancy fuckin beezys, no stupid effects, just going to the hood and making a rap video. Look at Andre! HAHAHA! This is way before the currazzy Andre we all have come to love now. This is when 3k was a fuckin' g! He's even wearing a chain! Ah, I love both personas.. and I love this song. I'd make out with 3k. Yeah. Said. That.


NAS FT. LAURYN HILL - IF I RULED THE WORLD
Every time people bring up this song, I roll my eyes. Despite how good I KNOW this song is, it's pretty over-rated. Don't hate me for that without thinking about it. It's true. Eh, it's still good to throw down the vid and watch once in a blue moon. I hear this song at least once a week. Every dj in my city plays it and it's kind of like, ugh, again.. at the same time I love the song, I'm just a little ick on every beezy in the place singing the chorus.. when they can't name any other nas song for the life of them. Hop off!

That's it, that's all, pricks! Have a good Thursday.

NASTY.

LITTLE BOTCH.

THROWBACK THURSDAY

THE MEMORY EDITION

The things that stick out in my head are so random. My memories of certain events in my childhood are so vivid sometimes I feel like I could grab onto it, and physically place myself there. Each smell and sound is as fresh as if it happened yesterday.. but that only applies to certain times. I'll go ahead and throw you 25.

25 CHILDHOOD MEMORIES

1. SICK DAYS
I remember being sick a lot.. I'd always spend my sick days in my mom's bed. She'd throw the mom mannerisms down like no one's business. I'd get the full face cloths on the forehead, humidifier on, cartoons, soup, vicks on the chest, and my personal favorite.. the banana flavored medicine. Well I think I was on a sick binge, and my mom was feelin really bad for me.. so before work, she dropped off my favorite strawberry and banana marshmellows. You know those 5 cent marshmellows (so good!). Well mom dukes bought a whole bag. I went for the strawberries first.. and polished off a whole bag. Seconds later, I puked it all out. Pink marshmellow allllll up in the toilet.

2. CALLIN DAD
Another sick day! I was home in bed with my dad. We were watching Mr. Dress-up, when the phone rang. He answered and continued to say, "No, she's sick today". When he hung up, I asked him, "Dad, do they think I'm skipping kindergarten?". He laughed so hard.

3. SNOOPY BOTCH
I would sneak into my sister's room almost every day. I couldn't help it. She was a teenager, and I thought she was the coolest. She was pretty and had friends for days. I'd always go in there and throw on her lipgloss because it tasted so good. Well one day upon snooping I found the COOLEST head band. I put it on while my dad and I ran his errands. When crossing the street to go to his car, the headband fell off. I ran to pick it up, and all I heard next was a car's horn blaring and my dad shoved me to the ground. He saved my life. The car ran right past us. I got the biggest yelling of my life, and I kept trying to interrupt with, "BUT THE HEADBAND", but my dad was not havin' that.

4. TYING SHOES
My dad was the one who taught me to tie my shoes. & one day I succeeded and he was all "that's great!" but I didn't feel it was enough lol.

5. TAPIOCA PUDDING
Every day after school I would rush to Bueno Brothers, run to the end of the aisle, grab nestle's tapioca pudding, and rush to my dad's office. He'd throw on Full House, and we'd watch an episode while eating our tapioca pudding before he'd get back to work.

6. THE SNOW WHITE HOUSE
THE GREATEST DAY EVER. One day after kindergarten I grabbed the pudding and grabbed my dad. He lifted me up on his shoulders and said "I have a surprise for you". He took me to the back where there was a cardboard cut-out snow white playhouse. I was so excited. He managed to get his huge body inside to help me draw windows.. and all I could think about was how I was the luckiest girl on the planet.

7. KINDERGARTEN WOES
In my kindergarten class we had this cardboard spaceship that we played in during playtime. It went in shifts, and you had to have a partner. Well I was far down on the list, so when it was my first time to actually go in the spaceship I was soo excited.. When I went in however, my partner RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNKKKK!!! She smelled sooo fucking bad, so I immediately went out of the spaceship.. it was then that my teacher said to me, "You only have a few times to play in the spaceship, get back in there!!". I spent half my time sticking my head out the window while my partner kept saying things like "we're landing!! we're crashing! look aliens!!".. I looked at her with disgust and anger.

8. RAGGEDY ANN
I got this raggedy ann from my great grandpa.. well I was sick in my mom's room again when I happened to notice raggedy dancing in the door way. I must've watched her for ten minutes. I was freaking the fuck out. So I decided the only way to handle this was to try and talk nice to her, or go and grab her.. so I stood up on the bed, legs shaking with fear.. when I heard giggling.. that's when I noticed a hand.. I go in the hallway to see my brother sitting there making my raggedy danced. I yelled "you're stupid!". Never letting him know how much it scared me.

9. LATE NIGHT MOM
I woke up in the middle of the night to find my mom wasn't in bed (OK, I slept with my parents a lot, that's next lol). So I went downstairs to find her preparing stuff for tomorrow night's dinner. I couldn't sleep without my mom so she set up two kitchen chairs as a bed. I fell asleep in the kitchen that night.

10. ROOM WOES
I woke up in the middle of the night a lot as a kid. I was chicken shit scared of everything. The dark. Ghosts. Fuckin' everything. I shared a room with my brother and we had bunk beds. I had the top. I remember waking up, talking to myself to try and gain courage to get to my parents' room. Getting down the stairs across to their hall took one fuck of a pep talk, lemme tell you.

11. MOM SHOWERS
In the morning my mom would shower me.. and she'd sing "this is the way we wash our arms, wash our arms, wash our arms, this is the way we wash our arms, so early in the morning".. and so on for everything.. I'd climb out of the shower and she'd wrap a towel around me like a cape, and it was always so cold. So I'd run to her bed, and sit with the towel fully draped around me til I was dry and warm. Sometimes I'd even fall asleep. To this day, I still keep my towel on til I'm fully dry.. I don't use it to dry myself. I wait that shit out lol.

12. GRILLED CHEESE
My mom was a fan of the grilled cheese for breakfast. I guess havin three kids and a husband to feed kept her in a rush, and sometimes a grilled cheese was her on the go meal. Well one morning she made them and I didn't want it. I was just a five year old having a cranky fit. I was kicking and screaming on the floor of the kitchen. This had to be going on for at least fifteen minutes to a half hour. It was my first tantrum (that I can remember anyway) and my mom was ignoring the fuck out of it, like it wasn't even happening. When my brother, sister and dad finally came down.. my brother said something like "what's with you?".. and I HATED that.. so I cried some more. Then my mom said "Ok, that's enough baby, let's go". I grabbed my backpack and went out the door. Like a trigger..! She was the boss! & when we got in the car, she asked me if I wanted my grilled cheese and I said, "NO!". I ended up leaving the car for school with my grilled cheese in hand lol.

13. KEN DOLL
I hated dolls. Still do.. they scared the fuck outta me. Well one day, my Ken doll was scaring me a little too much, so I popped off his head and threw it into the vent. My mom ended up finding it and saying that I could've started a fire. All I wondered at the time was how she knew it was me.

14. ONYX
In grade 4 we made these booklets of pictures of every year of ourselves. Underneath each picture we had a description that read "When I was one..." then whatever to describe the picture. The cover of my booklet was covered with walkmans and "onyx". I drew them over and over again.

15. KINDERGARTEN CRUSH
One day I was at my locker with my mom changing from my outdoor shoes to my indoor shoes. This boy and his mom were at his locker. My mom started talking to his mom, and they talked for a hot minute while the two of us just held their hands waiting to finish. While they discussed grown up business, I had nothing to do but look at him. That's when he noticed my shoes. I crossed the velcro so that it was an "x". & he said, "You cross your velcroes?! That's cool". The crush started then. He's mad fat now hahahah.

16. PORCELAIN EGGS
My mom had these porcelain eggs in her china cabinet. They were extremely intricate and decorated with flowers in such pretty colors. I asked her one night if I could see them, and she said "No, they're from the ukraine, they're very expensive and you'll break them". I begged and begged for her to let me see them and I kept getting no's, no matter how much I pleaded that I wouldn't break them. Well when she went to cook, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Her china cabinet was right next to the kitchen so I had to be very quiet. I opened it slightly and slipped the eggs out. They were so pretty..!!! AAAAAAAAANDDD SHATTER! I dropped one! She came running in, and I immediately started crying with the broken egg in my hand. The yelling must've went down for at least an hour.

17. DAVID LETTERMAN
Every night my dad would have his scotch and watch late night. He'd watch it on his chair and sometimes I'd watch it for about two minutes beside him before falling asleep. I'd wake up to him carrying me right on the middle of the stairs every time, but I'd pretend to still be sleeping. He'd lay me down, kiss my forehead and say "goodnight princess". The feeling of that carry to my bed was so comforting.

18. THE PULL OUT
When my dad would bring us to school and he pulled out of the garage, he'd always put his arm on the passenger seat to look back. His glance right before that would be right on my mom in the passenger. He'd always smile. I loved that look, because I always saw the love in his eyes for her.

19. CHUCK TAYLORS
Every car ride was me being cautious not to step on my brothers shoes. His chucks. He'd yell at me like nobody's business.. even if they were beat to shit. I also recall his wu-tang and kool keith being blasted out of his headphones and my parents always saying "EUGENE! TURN IT DOWN!".

20. PIZZA HUT
My sister worked at pizza hut when I was a kid, and she'd always bring me home toys and dessert pizza. I fuckin loved it.

21. SWIMMING
I had a swimmming pool in my backyard and was never allowed in the deep end. I practiced swimming in the shallow end a lot, and even in the deep end when a head was turned. All from watching my dad swim. One day I had the guts to show my dad I could swim, and he was sitting on the bench by the pool watching me. He was so happy he jumped in and we had races from one side to the other.

22. 7TH BIRTHDAY
My dad came home with my goodie bags and the things to put inside and he said "Ok, make sure every bag has everything even!". It was my first time to make my own goodie bags and I was so excited. Two bags in, I thought it was the worst thing ever.

23. SUPER MARIO
Let me tell you, super mario ran my house some days.. and I just loved the level in the star area where all you do is break blocks. It was the only level I could finish and I'd play it over and over and over again. My brother and my sister were so annoyed by it.

24. LITTLE MERMAID
This was my favorite Disney movie. I watched it daaaaily.. I had this book that taught you how to draw Ariel and all the clan. I obviously couldn't get it downpat, but my dad and brother drew me a million, and I was so in love with it. I'd take all the drawings they drew me, laid them out on the bed, and wrapped my feet in a pillow case and pretend to be a mermaid.

25. TELL TALE HEART
My dad told us this story on the way home from my brother's Christmas concert. He told me over and over again that he couldn't tell me it at the beginning because I would get too scared. Then finally, he told it. He told it so well, with such great detail but didn't finish in time. When we got home, my mom said we couldn't finish the story because I had to sleep and I'd get scared. It took a lot of begging, but he complied. My brother and sister gathered around him on the couch and he told it, WITH A FLASHLIGHT! I was so scared but also so intrigued.

MOMENTS I'LL KEEP!

THE FLOW WILL BREAK YOU DOWN.

FUCK THIS HELL HOLE.

Remember when nights were like this? I do.GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

I hate this shit city and these shit ass pussy wannabe trifilin bitches who wanna be up on shit, when they not up on shit. I had a good day today. I am just..... done here.

& would really like a vaycay, like now.. please. Anybody?