Wednesday, December 30, 2020

Don't you know you drive me crazy?



I haven't posted this song yet, which is kind of wild because if you've been following any of my playlists, you'll see that it's been in my rotation for a few months (and yes I know this is such an old track, but it still slaps). Sango is a producer from Seattle, well known for often remixing hip hop and rnb. So what? My like.. dream electronic producer? This song just makes me feel so good, or sad. It's one of those, whatever you're feeling, it will capture that emotion. I loveeeee. It's the bass for me. so preeeeetttyyyyyy. Plus, we love us a good r&b sample.



Original sample from this beauty.

Three, two, three, only say what's up for the wifi



When I first heard this song, I was like, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?!!"

Today was my first time seeing the video after having this gem on loop for a bit. It did not disappoint. The lyrics. The vibes. The fits. The vocals. This song is a bop and I'm glad the video is great too because whenever you get a great song and a mediocre video or vice versa, it really can take the song down. BUT NOPE, we good! Damn right.

Xo,
Botch

WHAT'S A VIDEO THAT LIVES RENT FREE IN YOUR HEAD?

I'll go first..


Tuesday, December 29, 2020

SORRY DARLIN' DEARLY DEPARTED THE BELLS.





I HATE COVID. I hate it so much. I hate being trapped, not being able to see anyone. Seeing the casualties. I hate house shopping during a pandemic. I miss my friends. I also have no desire to go anywhere or be with anyone at all. It is a strange, strange fight.

I'm loving myself while hating myself. I've put in time to art projects and writing and definitely feel like I truly am kicking ass a lot of days. I'm inspired by fashion and music blogs, videos and the creativity that artists have poured into the world this year.

I spent a lot of my life crying over heartbreak. I just love to love! I've been cheated on in every single relationship I've been in. I've chased my exes after they've been in new relationships because I believed them when they told me I still held the top spot. I've been a dumb naive girl who believes. Why did I ever.. how could I ever.. do that to myself? I'm still not healed from past traumas. I hold trauma deep down and sometimes it bubbles over.

I'm making a difference. I know that my community work may sometimes feel small and that sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough. I run out of time and can't keep up with all commitments, but in the end.. I know I am making a difference, and my workload is actually ridiculous. I know the work I do is needed and I represent change. I won the Citizenship Excellence award when I was 8 years old, we can ONLY go up from there. I HAVE to keep this up for as long as my life lasts.

I'm sad realizing I'm losing my dogs. I'm sad when they're sick, when they're in pain. I'm sad to have two family members face major surgeries and so much death. The clouds are haunting.

I'm still hopeful. Still hopeful. That there is a glimmer of light and love, and those glimmers belong to me. I will bask in the sunshine and smile. I will dance in the kitchen. I will overcome sad days and bounce around shining bright, reminding everyone how happy I can be, how happy life can be. I will go to live shows and dance to my favorite djs, my favorite artists, with my biggest loves. I'm in love with love. I'm in love with music. This playlist is all of that, a true, tired testament of December. I hope you find a song you like. Cheers, darlin'

Xo,
Botch

Friday, December 11, 2020

CAN'T TALK, DREAMING.


Kid Cudi, photo by Pamela Littky

This is just a deadass reminder to myself that I am and forever will be madly in love with the Cudder. If you happen to look at the moon tonight, I happen to be looking at the same one. In this instance, we are looking at the moon together. Locked to earth, celestial objects staring at this celestial object, with that big big love in the sky.

I love you.

XoXx,
Botch

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

OKAY BUT NO.. I'm actually an alien.





November flew right past me. I've been working 6 days a week, 10-14hr shifts so I barely see sunlight. And although I was extremely busy, I was able to listen to a lot of music. I almost felt like I lost myself for a bit there. Instead of lipstick and beers it was N95 masks and tears. Instead of a cute fit, it was face shields. All of November's focus was Covid-19, more so than the entire pandemic, for me. So I really used music to escape and take me places. Take me to past dates, past parties, past festivals, friends and loves. This whole thing has been a wild ride, stay up. Love you, and as always, I hope you find a song you like.

Xo,
Botch