Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Tim Engelhardt & Forrest - Eyes Closed (Tim Green Remix)

How many times did you guys cry today?! I've only cried once, but the day is still young.

Chose this as my sob in the stairwell soundtrack for a good old Wednesday.

Enjoy, or don't, whatever. I did/didn't.

Love you, bye.

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Maxxi Soundsystem - Near Me feat. Danielle Moore (Club Mix) (Futureboogie)

This ho slaps.


K back to crying, see y'all on the darkside.

Monday, July 30, 2018


I know you've been here so long you're really starting to get down
So much you wanted to hide yourself from being found
Crouch down on the desert floor if you're as plastered to the ground
You're used to being all by yourself and safe and sound

I know you've heard it before but soon the sun is gonna rise
You thought you were gonna die before blood orange skies
So sick of moving your body to a well polished life
Well, I got something to move ya

Holding on, to what's gone
Glance at the horizon, you're in your
Vermillion, vermillion, vermillion, vermillion
Bathe on your back, the scarlet washes away scars
And lets your darkness disappear beneath the stars
Follow the hollow inside you, deciding who you are
The sky is nearing vermillion, with nod to fire

Holding on, to what's gone
Glance at the horizon
You're in your
Vermillion, vermillion, vermillion, vermillion
Holding on, to what's gone
Glance at the horizon, you're in your
Vermillion, vermillion, vermillion, vermillion

Saturday, July 21, 2018

Sometimes in the morning I am petrified and can't move.

And sometimes when you're on, you're really fucking on And your friends they sing along and they love you But the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap And it teases you for weeks in it's absence But you'll fight and you'll make it through You'll fake it if you have to And you'll show up for work with a smile You'll be better you'll be smarter And more grown up and a better daughter

Tuesday, July 17, 2018


Monday, July 16, 2018


Monday, July 9, 2018

Grouplove - Tongue Tied [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

Wednesday, July 4, 2018


I'm just in the cut sittin' sideways
Way that you lookin' all the time
Time gets to tickin' and it takes a toll
Told you I couldn't really draw the line
Line ringin', sayin' that you told him things
Things that you could've kept inside
Sidetrackin' me when I was good to you
You were somebody I would stand behind

I know you like to drink 'til the sun up
Grind 'til you come up
Work all winter, shine all summer
Ride for your brother
You die for your mother
Keep that shit a hunna
I know you wanna
Vacay to a place where you could
Take pictures, post on Insta
Your friends say they miss ya
But they don't really miss ya

Rule number one, to be a boss-ass bitch
Never let a clown nigga try to play you
If he play you, then rule number two
Is fuck his best friends and make 'em yes men

I'm just in the cut sittin' sideways
Way that you lookin' all the time
Time, it done left you with a broken heart
Hardly excuses how you play with mine
Mindin' my business and you show up
Up to no good, I should've seen the signs
Signin' me up to do your dirty work
Workin' to try to get you off my mind

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Le Carousel - Carousel (Phil Kieran Mix)

Sometimes my head goes far off in these crazy places where I question everything. Everything. Myself. My purpose. My co-worker asked me a few questions about mental health the other day, and in that moment, I said it felt like floating. I felt like I was just, floating. Watching myself perform routine tasks from above my body. This is the track that plays during the spinning thoughts..

Monday, June 18, 2018


Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight..

Thursday, April 19, 2018

PEGGY GOU in The Lab Miami for Miami Music Week

"Hey Botch, why are you late to work today?!". Um, cuz I stayed up all night watching Peggy Gou sets. WORTH IT.

Peggy Gou Boiler Room x Dekmantel Festival DJ Set

So I've been super obsessed with Peggy Gou as of late.. and I mean.. YOU CAN SEE WHY, right?! JESUS. Someone please help me hang out with her! I don't even mind if it's just me crying the whole time, I. Am. In. Love. If we're not talking about Peggy, we not talking, byeeeeee.

CamelPhat & Elderbrook 'Cola' (Official Video)


Also, damn I wish I was in this video. Someone put me on, please.

Sunday, April 8, 2018

Green Velvet, Mihalis Safras – Shmash (Original Mix)

WHOO OKAY. Here's a gooder. Bob to dis one, my loves.


You ever cry in the back of a taxi cab?! I do that shit a lot. Did it today. Did it last week. Probably gonna do it again next weekend.

Everything looks so much sadder from a taxi window. Cars are just lights, faces are just sweeping blurs. Like.. the world isn't really there. I want a different world. Cold, dark. This one sucks, it's soooo cooooold and sooooo dark. I feel like I'm floating, looking down at myself, and just being generally sad for the girl on the ground. I just wanna scoop her up in my hand and rub her head. Or honestly, have my boyfriend stroke my hair would be equally as fine maybe?!

Brain and heart control is tough. I've realized, I have absolutely zero control over both. Z-E-R-O. That's why sometimes you'll catch me in a crowded room, dancing away, and sometimes you'll catch me low-key crying to loud music, into a glass of whiskey. Both girls are equally me, I think. Everything just fucking sucks, ALL THE TIME. Are these moments of happy, really happy, if they're actually going to be smashed into terrible heart-wrenching bits just a few moments later?! What parts of our entire story do we remember?! WHICH ONES DO WE PICK?!

What are you yammering on about, Botchy.

Get me a flight the fuck outta here.

That's the mood.

I promise I'll make some jokes and be in a better state after I drink this henny. WHO DRINKS HENNY?! I don't know myself. Man, I don't know myself. I keep trying to convince myself that I'm *this* or that I'm *that*, and I'm having a very hard time believing myself. I just don't know. Sorry, I swear jokes and some sort of amazing song will be posted next.

Thursday, April 5, 2018

Röyksopp - I Had This Thing (Kraak & Smaak Remix)

I have a penchant for sad songs, because duh, hello, president of the Sad Girls Club. However, I also thoroughly appreciate when feeling is put into a song, because that's what music is to me. This is why a lot of pop music, doesn't appeal to me. There's no feeling. Someone wrote it for you, you sang it. Not with this gem though, this one, he FELT it. I discovered this song at work, and almost didn't get to find out what it was in time. Guess what came next?! YOU GUESSED IT, looking up the lyrics. Poetry. Plus, we've all been there. We've all fucked up, or we've been fucked over. Now, did this song take you to that moment?! To that feeling? After work, I came home and listened to it again, and again, and again. Wahowzahs there are a lot of different sounds in here. I focused on a different one each time. Kraak & Smaak somehow discovered that all these beautiful little chimes, strums, xylophones and further blips would go together, and that my friends.. makes a song I fell in love with. Forever obsessed with the art that is song.

A remix can really change the game, check the original (spoiler alert, the remix slays hard)..

Wednesday, March 28, 2018


we can spend our time cryin'.

That's. Just. How. Life. Goes. Sometimes.

Just listen to some Kaytranada and forget about it alllllllllllll. It's okay to cry, it's okay, it's okay.

Your best writing happens when you cry.

Take that at least. Take the W.

Jorja Smith - Where Did I Go?

Jorja Smith X Preditah - On My Mind

Spike Jonze Welcome Home



Feelin down, and a friend sent me this. Thank you, FKA.

Ravyn Lenae - Sticky [Official Video]

Trouble neglect you, angels protect you

Monday, March 26, 2018


I remember being alone in my Mom and Dad's room, at around the age of 8. I remember staring at the ceiling, trying hard to see my Dad. Searching and searching, seeing strobes of color from looking at the light too long, but never seeing him. I begged for it. I pleaded to the ceiling, to give me anything. "GIVE ME ANYTHING!", I sobbed. I'd spend hours here, I never let my pain show. I hid my pain from Mom, because even at 8, I understood I had to be strong for the both of us. These ceiling searching moments were the only time I ever showed weakness. Waiting. Waiting for Dad to tell me he existed, that he didn't leave me.

Every new moment of pain, I still find myself, looking at the ceiling, searching for answers I never receive. I pay close attention to different sounds, the slight buzzing of a light, the creaks of my house, the wind against the window, a car driving past, but none of it is ever what I'm looking for. I'm not even sure I know what I'm looking for, ever. But I know it isn't *this*.

I'm really sad right now. I feel really empty right now. I'm an atheist now, so I no longer search for spirits, for voices, for faces, but for some reason, I just can't stop searching the ceiling for something real. Perhaps it's still *wishing* on Dad, perhaps it's less.

I thought that I was dreaming when you said you love me
The start of nothing
I had no chance to prepare
I couldn't see you coming
The start of nothing
I could hate you now
It's quite alright to hate me now
When we both know that deep down
The feeling still deep down is good
If I could see through walls, I could see you're faking
If you could see my thoughts you would see our faces

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Timi Yuro -- I Apologize

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Daniel Caesar - Get You ft. Kali Uchis [Official Video]