See I was swiping through me memories to see you, boyWhen we're apart you know I miss that energyAnd that’s something they just can’t denyNo matter how many hours have passedHow many miles apart , nothin' else ever lasts'Cause no one can make you feel like thisSee you could wash any man right out of my hairI could make you wish to god that she was never thereSo lift me up on top of you and call me your girlWe're hitting 4th gear, I’m on top of the world
Wednesday, September 30, 2020
LIFT ME UP ON TOP OF YOU, AND CALL ME YOUR GIRL..
Tuesday, September 29, 2020
IT'S A WALK IN THE PARK, IT GOES..
Despite things being a little heavy and my head being a little crazy, I have been carrying myself very well. This month's playlist was one that I really, really felt. I felt the beats, I felt the lyrics, I felt the emotion and the stories. A lot of them are chillwave or indie, but you'll still find a few classic bops. I did A LOT of listening to music this month as I was in situations that allowed me to do so. Two people asked me to create them playlists this month, so I listened to some of my old favorites and researched blogs and new artists and also compiled them into mine. Some of these songs are absolute favorites but I knew nothing about the artist(s) behind the music, so I took time to do that. Some days I felt sad, some days I felt ok, some days I felt sexy, some days I felt anxious, some days I just felt. I am so many things. A disco queen. A hip hop head. A punk rocker. A sad girl. An indie lover. An electro bunny. I really have a vast taste in music because I am committed to good music, period. The genre has never mattered. My personality is all over the map, why would my music taste be any different?! Anyway, this playlist is really, really, me. I hope it finds you well.
Xx,
Botch
MAKES IT HARD TO BREATHE, WORDS COME OVER ME.
This song is a bop and rings very true!
Monday, September 28, 2020
Thursday, September 24, 2020
I JUST WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU.
Yeah that's the drive, as I remember. And that's the one, the one I wanted, yeah. Pull me close, don't ask me nicely. Don't be polite, I want it all. I just want to hear from you. Ask me questions. Oh, I just want to hear from you. Out of context.
You won't forget it, so don't even try. We drank too much, we killed our nerves though I - let myself fall just to feel you catch me. I know that's not fair.
DEAR GODDESS, GIVE ME PATIENCE
WELCOME TO THE SAD FEMME CLUB, baby, you are enough.
Tired of trying to explain
I've got zero tolerance
When they fuck with my sacred space
Bar the trolls, hit the corners for escape
Build the platforms, take up space
Code the scripts to infiltrate
'Cause you're never not fighting
A racist system that keeps powers in place
And that fails to acknowledge the root of your pain
Took it too personal, over-emotional
Where are you from? Are you beauty or brains?
Over the top, I'm too little or too much
Damned if I do and I'm damned if I do not
I've got zero tolerance
When they fuck with my sacred space
Bar the trolls, hit the corners for escape
Build the platforms, take up space
Code the scripts to infiltrate
'Cause you're never not fighting
A racist system that keeps powers in place
And that fails to acknowledge the root of your pain
Took it too personal, over-emotional
Where are you from? Are you beauty or brains?
Over the top, I'm too little or too much
Damned if I do and I'm damned if I do not
EVERY STAR I SEE, I THINK OF YOU.
Artist: Maria Uve
Wake Up.
a poem by Botch
Wake up. Softly. Reach across the sheets.
Somewhere between the moon and where the stars meet.
I open my eyes, I reach. Empty hands. Empty me.
Empty. Longing. Wishing. One more dream.
Empty. Longing. Wishing. One more dream.
Woken. Too loud, this single heartbeat.
You're there, somewhere between the moon and where the stars meet.
The next room. The next bed. The next, next.
Early morning rises, no goodnight text.
Somewhere between the moon and where galaxies are tucked.
Goodnight, goodnight, and always good luck.
Xoxo,
Xoxo,
B
Wednesday, September 23, 2020
"WILL YOU LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU POST YOUR FIRST ONE?"
A 9 year old asked me if I had a TikTok over the weekend. I immediately responded with, "Why did you ask me that?"
Her response? "You look like a famous TikToker. Your hair and lipstick are pretty".
This was followed by a couple telling me they spoke about me for hours after a poetry reading one night, that my words resonated and sat with them when they laid in bed before rest. Alright well the sadness ye ol' Botchy feels went poof, dissipate.
If you've ever thought complimentary about someone, tell them. Tell them! Took my super sad month into a new direction and had me actually feeling like, "Maybe I can do this."
Someone remind me to let the little girl know when I make my first TikTok.
Wednesday, September 16, 2020
I've been livin' bummy
Wake up, shake these hips and strut
Catch me actin' dummy
I've been feelin' anxious
I've been feelin' sunny
I've been up and down as fuck
Tell me, do you love me?
Say it to me like you mean it
Top down, sinking with my thoughts down
This song SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. SOOOOOOOOO HARD. When the "I got 20 bands.." hits, brace yourselves. This is the kind of rap you shake the car with because you and your friends are seat dancing too hard. Issa bop.
Enjoy, bye.
Xx
BOYLIFE : INSTAGRAM ||| TWITTER
Monday, September 14, 2020
Won't you come around to my place?
Slow down, won't you come around?
Slow down, won't you come around to my ways?
Friday, September 11, 2020
THERE WAS NOTHING MUCH TO SAY..
Every word I read, I think of you. Every song I hear, I think of you. Every love I have, I think of you.
Thursday, September 3, 2020
EXES AND O'S
I keep having these weird dreams of past lovers with new girls. Oh, these new girls. They're pretty. They're skinny. They have time for nail polish and haircuts. They make time to cook meals and do outdoor activities. They have a sense of humor. They laugh when you whisper the funny thing in their ear, and their laugh echoes so sweetly. They sleep like an angel, they don't snore. They wear skirts and dresses that sway in the wind, gently and modestly. Their makeup is perfect and their eyeliner is sharp, but they don't even need makeup. They're a winner with parents and the waiter pays extra attention to them. They have a sparkle in their eye and not a blemish covers their skin, nor a scar, or a mark.
.. and then I notice.. so faintly.. a familiar sound, it gets louder, and louder and the familiarity intensifies with the increasing of every notch in volume..
..you're playing them songs I showed you.
And that, is my greatest fear, and my biggest delight. I will always, have that.
Hello nightmare. Sleep well.
Tuesday, September 1, 2020
BUT.. BUT.. I NEED YOU..
This month's playlist was based around long drives and old blog entries. Went through a few waves this month. I didn't focus too hard on discovering music, but more so, I let music discover me. This time around, I wasn't obsessing too much trying to discover bops on music blogs (which is what I was forcing myself to do as I made the transition of getting back into music). I didn't check listings or album reviews. I caught a song playing on a speaker outside, so I shazammed it. I let people play me their favorite tracks, and added the ones I liked. I went into a deep, deep, deep dive of some old Livejournal entries and listened to the ones that tugged on my heart strings in the past. Caught a few from Ubers, and Snapchats from friends. Music can come at you from any way and all ways, and this month, it totally did. This one felt very chill for me, I put a lot of time into writing this month and with that, I needed music that wasn't too heavy, but I also needed music that spoke to me. Minimal party/dancey chunes, a little more of the in your feels. Hope you find something you like.
Xo,
Botch
How is it gonna feel?
Things are gonna feel different
Days are gonna slow down
It's amazing how these things make us
Just rollin' around in our minds
Waiting for you
I'm waiting for you
Kind of a Smiths vibe to this one, it is just so beautiful. I can't, it's too pretty. I've listened to it a bunch of times as it's in my August playlist, and every time it comes on, it hits me right in the gut.. and when I first heard it.. YOU GUESSED IT, I cried. We all have an Amelia, don't we? This track carries me to that moment you urge for that one special person to not let go, and even if they do, we'll be waiting.
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syntifik
- Consistently making a mess of things, she's either "funny" or "weird". Botcho usually finds herself awake for too long despite her love of sleep. She's busy exploring the world with a taste for fashion, concerts, breaking rules, hair dying and pizza. She only calls herself a writer in an attempt for her blog to make sense. For all business inquiries, you can contact her mom. syntifik@hotmail.com
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2020
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September
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- LIFT ME UP ON TOP OF YOU, AND CALL ME YOUR GIRL..
- IT'S A WALK IN THE PARK, IT GOES..
- MAKES IT HARD TO BREATHE, WORDS COME OVER ME.
- I THINK I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER.
- YOU SAVE ME.
- I JUST WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU.
- DEAR GODDESS, GIVE ME PATIENCE
- EVERY STAR I SEE, I THINK OF YOU.
- "WILL YOU LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU POST YOUR FIRST ONE?"
- I've been livin' bummy
- Won't you come around to my place?
- THERE WAS NOTHING MUCH TO SAY..
- EXES AND O'S
- BUT.. BUT.. I NEED YOU..
- How is it gonna feel?
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September
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