I'M SORRY, YOU'RE EXPIRED.

It's kind of ridiculous how clubs don't take expired ID. I don't understand it. Can some club owner out there explain this to me? So here's the thing - our driver's licenses get scanned, and they tell the "bouncer" that our license is expired. They don't let you in. HOWEVER, this is STILL identification. Isn't the whole point of ID just to prove that you're old enough to drink alcoholic bevvies? So fuck, you miss a payment, or your license is suspended, AND NOW YOU CAN'T EVEN DRINK ABOUT IT?

It's almost as bad as the hoops people have to jump through to get a paycheck while on stress leave. You take an absence from work, because you're stressed out, your benefits pay you.. but not right away. You have to go to a bunch of different offices, your doctor, your insurance company, they have to fax, you have to fill out form 24A section 6, you have to call your bank, bring the paperwork to your employer, bring your employer's paperwork to your insurance company, get your insurance company to fax your doctor to get a signature.. don't ever go on stress leave, you'll end up more stressed than you were.

I don't mean to rant, so let me get positive for a second.. it's supposed to snow :)

Love ya, bye.

THE FAVOR MONSTER.

I have this huge issue with people who ask for handouts all the time. Especially when they get pissy when you say "no" one time. Friendship is so easy. It's fun, it's timeless, it's hilarious, and if it isn't, then it's time to re-evaluate. If you get upset when someone doesn't say "yes" to your favor, look at yourself. Do you ask people to do things all the time?! Do you need help moving? Do you need to borrow a few bucks?! Are you cleaning out your garage?! Do you need a ride?! Installing a new entertainment unit?! BUT CAN'T FIND HELP ANYWHERE?! WELL CONGRATULATIONS! You just won the title of the "FAVOR MONSTER"! Your prize includes an all-inclusive stay at being an asshole and having no friends forever!

Seriously. If you find yourself in a hole, you shouldn't have to beg for it. Shit, you should even have people offering you a helping hand without you asking! If you don't, it's because you're a prick.

How about a slice of pizza or a "thank you" for fucking once?! Gawd.
I give my help to those that deserve it and are there for me, you can move on with your favors, I am not answering.

THE SUPPLY OF BAD QUOTES NEVER RUNS OUT.

I was just on Facebook and this girl posted a picture of a shitty burned scroll with text of the following quote: "Tattoos are like stories, they symbolize important parts of your life".

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

WAIT! It gets better! Two people actually "liked" this bull shit timeline photo. I just realized I said a couple of posts ago I was trying to gossip less, does this count as gossip?! UGH FUCK I CAN'T HELP IT.

These simple-minded fucks are just too dumb for me. Like, REALLY, worst simile of all time. Also, did this piece of shit scroll illustration really hit you? Really inspire you to go, "Yeah *smiles* tattoos really are, I need to share this"?! Most tattoos are crap, or jokes, or yes they do mean something, but that quote does not represent anything remotely close to inspirational or moving.

So with that being said, here's a list of shitty quotes I'm making up. If you guys know of any illustrators to make these pieces of crap go viral, let's all contribute to making the internet worse. I mean, fuck, everyone else is doing it.

"Sometimes, break-ups hurt, but so do knee scrapes, and we get over those."

"Today might be cloudy, but the sun is somewhere."

"Friends are like popsicles, they're good."

"Puppies are best friends to humans because they have puppy hearts."

"You have to bake the cake before you eat it. Life."

"Trust is like paper, once it's ripped, it's ripped."

Do you have any shitty quotes to share?! Let's all laugh together!

5 FACEBOOK PET PEEVES.

Well. You've done it. You've logged into Facebook. What were you thinking?! Get out of there. Now you're going to be overwhelmed with inspirational quotes and memes that are nowhere near funny. Oh, Facebook. Dear, Facebook. Where you get invited to things you don't care about and block applications like they're software updates.
Facebook. The number one website in the world that helps you to "stay connected". It does a good job of that. I won't deny it. However, the swamp effect is a little un-bearable. The swamp effect. That's what I call it. Here's a list of 5 Facebook pet peeves that drive me crazy.

1. THE STATUS UPDATER
"What a nice day outside!", "Going for a walk.", "Omg so tired!", "Having dinner, then going to bed". OH, WOW. Thank you. My day certainly was not going good until THIS happened! Thank you so much!

2. THE GYM RAT
These ones. These ones. Check in at the gym. Updated status: "Make time, no excuses". Mobile photo of their protein shake. Gym quote. HOLY, FUCKING, SHIT. We get it. I completely encourage people to better themselves but if you're needing all types of attention from it, it's annoying, and we end up deleting you. Then you'll be getting a lot less "likes", bro.

3. KIDS/ANIMALS
Oh, that's your kid eating, cute:) Oh you're kid sleeping, cute:) Okay, your kid in a new shirt. Okay, kid watching tv. Kid sitting. Kid standing. Omg, you've posted 46 pictures of your kid in one day. Not much has changed. Replace "kid" with any "pet", this can go both ways.

4. EVERY SINGLE INTERNET MEME/INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE EVER
If you're showing me 10 memes per day, chances are, they aren't all funny. Don't TRY to succeed, man. "Oh this is kind of cool". NO! Kind of cool, you glance over. Share the things that FLOOR you. THAT ARE AN ABSOLUTE MUST. The inspirational quote doesn't help you none either.

5. ATTENTION CRIES:(
These statuses: "Don't even want to talk about it :(", "This is the fucking worst :(". OH THESE CLIFFHANGERS! The statuses that are just begging for someone to comment "What's wrong, hun?!". UGH. I wish all these emo fucking fucks would get blogs.

IN SUMMARY: Facebook should be: WHAT YOU WOULD TALK ABOUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS/FAMILY. It is conversation, it is your life. If you would bring all of these things up, then fine, go ahead. Your friends/family are probably used to your annoying self already.. but if you would not, refrain. Hold back a little. Our timelines are hard to catch up on with the swamp effect. Chill yo, chill.

What's your biggest Facebook pet peeve?!

HOW THE FUCKY?!

A mandatory class. A mandatory class which you essentially need to complete the semester. A one time class. Five hours of your life. The class is on October 24, 2012. Your semester ends November 5, 2012. Fucking sounds easy as shit, right?
Your class is cancelled. They tell you five hours before you have the class to make sure you can't get into the others because they're all full.

I'll tell you what that is! TONS OF FUN. It's also kind of wack.

So should I just drop out now, or walk out wih my pants down, my hands in the air, asking, "WHO WANT IT!"?

WORST.

Having the most terrible day ever, might I quickly add before I head out the door. I have to get this quick rant in so I can actually breathe tonight. Didn't get the placement I wanted, got told I was trying to make myself something I'm not, CRANKY as fuckskies, my phone battery broke, told I was dressed inappropriately, a 92% final grade in a class is no good to my Asian mother (I don't even study mom, cut me a break!), criticized for being a vegetarian today, dunno why my blog html is getting all fucky, out of smokes, lost $40.00, missing a lot of my friends. LOVELY LONER BOTCHEEZY WHO CAN'T FUCKING HANDLE WHAT'S ON HER PLATE RIGHT NOW. HAND ME A PILLOW TO SCREAM IN, PLEASE.

Hi. Heading to rum paradise now. Oh, alcohol. You silly, silly, terrible, lovely, so yum yum, vice.

Have a good weekend, as I attempt to let my week go, I wish you adieu.

Wrote this in five. Enjoy.

DEAR FACEBOOK TIMELINE,

Hey, timeline. You're un-organized. People can see all my embarrassing moments from the past, they're supposed to work for that. Your boxes don't even line up. My eyes don't know where to look. You probably have no friends. Everyone probably hates you. When you show up to a party, people say, "Fuck, Timeline's here. I'm out.". You probably have a messy room, with a mess that's not even cool. It's probably just receipts and wrappers from un-cool things. You probably listen to Nickelback.

OMYFREAKINGLANTA.

I AM SO FUCKING BEHIND. You know, I figured if I did like a little every day, I wouldn't be in this situation. EH. WRONG. I am fucking behind. I have shit to mail, stories to edit, walls to paint, clothes to pack, pillows to cry on.. BASICALLY. I am not going to get everything done by my deadline, even if I stay up all night.. which is my exact plan.
Yes, we are planning an all-nighter. Should we add in the following factors, work at 8am, and leaving the city at 6pm. Yeah. Why not. Let's just add those in to make it all a little more exciting. WHY OH WHY DID I SAY YES TO SO MANY THINGS?! Why oh why did I party so much?! Oh yeah. 'Cause it's fun.
Whatever, I brought this all upon myself, blah blah yeah, save your lectures people! This is my blog and I complain however the fuck I want! YEAH. OKAY. LET'S CRY NOW.

TASK NUMBER ONE: Organize your billion tasks.

I held back in calling myself a dumb fuck a lot in this post. Yay.

BLAME IT ON MY A.D.D., BABY.

I'm the kind of person who stands in line, and if that line isn't moving forward, I'll go into another one. However, once I get in that "new" line, I realize the line isn't new at all, I've already tried that one! What's worse? That the line I left is now moving forward.
I'm a fucking train wreck, and the outlets I chose to relay my emotions weren't the best ones. In fact, they were the worst ones. I'm not saying I hate myself for it, I'm saying I did wrong, I know I did wrong, and now I have to do right. I turned into something that wasn't me this weekend. I have never ever ever in my entire life regretted choices I have made. I've already conjured up all the excuses in the book to take my guilt away. Shit is a novel. Reality of it, I can't take shit that I've said or done back. It's over, it happened. All I can do is apologize. I just need to take all the things I'm feeling and transfer them to more positive outlets. The way I've been doing for 24 years.
Sooooo.. now what? Now. I try another line.. and if it isn't moving forward, I need to be patient, respect myself, respect my choices and do nothing but right. Not for anyone else, either. I need to focus on myself. I was told today by a very wise lady, "Your moral compass has always been on point. You don't fuck up, you just don't." THAT SHIT RIGHT THERE. That shit right there.

I won't let a few bad actions define me. I do a lot of good for myself and others. A LOT. I will continue to focus on that for now.. it's all I got, man. My words, and my soul. A few demons have slipped past me, but once you've reached your bottom, you can only go up. I can only move forward. Stay tuned.

GET BACK, GET DOWN, PULL ME CLOSER IF YOU THINK YOU CAN HANG.

RANTRANTRANTRANT.

If you fuck with me, I'll fuck with you.. and I will go to EXTREMES to fuck with you. Making the entire world know you're an ignant son of a bitch.
I'm just saying, is all.

TODAY WAS HORRIBLE! It started out so good, then just went fucking shit! Last night was shit too. I dunno. What. The. Fuck. People are just fucking vicious. I've never made a point to be an asshole. Really, I try to be as kind as I can to everyone. Even people I dislike. I feel that being kind to someone you dislike, doesn't make you fake. It just means you're mature enough to tolerate a person so that life runs smoother. HOWEVER.. if someone were to deliberately fuck with me, I more than dislike them.. I want to ruin them and make them cry.. AND, if that opportunity arises, you can expect me to do it.

Shots fired. Don't speak up if you aren't ready to hear me speak louder.

I always win.

IT'S WEDNESDAY.

You know what sucks? Everyone asking me about Alex every five seconds. No, we don't want to be asked your fucking questions. We're already in a hole, and we would each like it if everyone stopped with their fake caring. "Aw, how are you guys?", fuck outta here with that shit. Support us as individuals or move the fuck on.
Warm wine sucks too. Having people take your pictures at a party when your eyebrows aren't done doesn't completely suck, but it isn't that great of a time. These photographers sure as hell can get pretty damn sneaky.
Pregnant youth sucks too. Mind fucks are totes wack.. and so is waiting for a response from an author. I THOUGHT E-MAILS WERE INSTANT?! Get instant.. instant.. instant-er..? Ugh.
I think I have to work on Remembrance Day. That's wack too. I think that day should be reserved for everyone. I mean, working on Remembrance Day is basically saying, "Sorry, but we can't afford to miss a day to remember people who gave up so much to fight for us to live this life". That's dumb.
Expensive school is dumb. College is also dumb for sending me an e-mail two weeks late. Markers that dry out are wack too. So is the guy who I complimented today. How you gonna take that compliment and run?! I like your jacket, I tell you I like your jacket, and you freak out? You're wack. Mopping is wack too. I also dislike when my friends are sad. I wish I could take everyone's problems and send them to another galaxy. Galaxies aren't wack.

This is my What's Wack Wednesday post. I didn't really know how to write it because even with the petty bull shit, I'm in a fantabulous mood. I really wanted to speak about the things that are so awesome.. but I figured a written entry on a Wednesday shouldn't include such. I owe you a rant. I hope it was successful.

My ankle hurts. I sprained it a week ago and this shit is still swollen. That shit is wack too. /rant /overduewednesdaypost

WE'VE BEEN GOING HARD, BABY.

I don't know what I want.. the only thing that I'm absolutely positively fucking sure of right now, is that I want SOMETHING. What is it though? I don't fucking know. So if you talk to me, or try to get answers out of me, you're not going to fucking get them. That's not being said in a bad tone either, that's being said in an "I'm sorry." kind of tone. I'M JUST A FUCKED UP GIRL, LOOKING FOR HER OWN PIECE OF MIND. Buying a plane ticket seems to be the only thing on my mind right now. Everything else is just fuckin' mush! "Botch, you're talking nonsense".. since when did I not? Everything disappears and is okay when you have music and loud voices around you. Call me a bitch, call me annoying, call me wrong. I'm just trying to figure myself out. EVERYTHING'S SO EASY WHEN YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT IT! Where the fuck did my sane go? Botch went crazy.

I COULD STICK AROUND AND GET ALONG WITH YOU..

WHAT'S WACK WEDNESDAY

Wow.. it has been forever since I've done a Wednesday post.. or so it feels like, I'm really not sure.. hahah. Whadddevvaahhh ! Let's get into it shall we..

TEYANA TAYLOR
I'm not sure if that's how you spell her name, but can we get over this girl. The other day my boyfriend hit me hard.. this is how the conversation went down:

him: Have you heard the Teyana Taylor remix of "Marvin's room"?
me: No, I've heard about it, but I haven't listened to it.
him: You should, it's really good, and different than the Jojo one. I like it.
me: Ugh, she's so gross.
him: Yeah right, she's a babe.
me: Ew, why don't you go out with her then.
him: Yeah sure, I'll ask her to send you free MOB stuff since you don't get that.

HAHAHA. What a shot that was to my pride. I'm over this chick. Her body is sick, the video is okay, the song IS good.. but her, as an overall person?! C'mon. If she lived in Winnipeg she'd be from Tuxedo. LET THE TUXEDO HATERS ARISE. Seriously though.. this chick is one cocky fuck, and not even in a sexy way. I feel dirty just listening to this broad. Over it.

TEGAN AND SARA
BIGGEST PHONIES IN LIFE. The kind of people who listen to Tegan and Sara are the kind of people that wear whatever's trending. The kind of people who don't watch Seinfeld. The kind of people that started shopping at Value Village yesterday cause that's what they hear is hipster. UGH! EVERYTHING ABOUT TEGAN AND SARA. Their crap lyrics, their wannabe poser hair, they are just crap. CRAP! Anyone who tells me otherwise is crap too.

YOU'RE PRETTY, I GUESS
I hate when guys talk about the baddest bitches around.. like kay, if it's a celebrity fine whatever.. but when it's like someone we know.. HELLO! Please realize, every girl in the universe is every girl's competition. We are constantly battling. We are constantly trying to top the girl you're talking about. AND WHEN WE HEAR IT, when that girl isn't even that pretty.. there's about to be some rumble in the jungle hahaha.

MAIL
So since the postal service was on strike, I haven't been getting mail for like.. two weeks. I finally got mail today, and was super excited about my like.. 10 pieces of mail.. ANDDDDD! Not only is the thing I'm waiting for, STILL not here.. BUT they're all bills! I'm even getting bills I didn't know I pay.. Like duty invoices from New York, and tickets?! The hell is this garbage. Keep this bad news out of my mailbox.. which I guess is bound to happen.. We all have to pay our bills.. but c'mon. Can I get some good mail once in awhile?! I need a pen pal lol.

NOT GETTING HIT ON
I'm not saying I wanna pick guys up, I just came to say hello ;) lol.. but not getting hit on blows.. especially when I'm seeing all these ugly broads all over the place getting hit on.. like at Big Dancing it's okay, because all the girls there are 10's. I won't even sweat that, it's stiff competition.

IN SUMMARY, being broke, not feeling pretty, and some music really blows. HAPPY WEDNESDAY PEOPLE!

:(

Rejection is never any fun. I'm gonna drown myself in cigarettes and music. Ugh, I feel terrible. Which is such shit because I put on for this. It doesn't help that flights to Toronto won't go on sale, and my mother fucking Rock the Bells tickets haven't come in. FUCK IS THIS SHIT. Give me my mother fucking purchase.
I am so disappointed.. and I've been having so much fun lately. It's so easy to ignore responsibilities when you're in the midst of good company, good music, and great weather. I'd insert a long speech about buckling down and handling my shit, but fuck that. I don't even want to. I just want to give up and have fun.. I know that shit won't take me any further but being a coward just feels fucking easy right now.
Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck. Alex come home, I need some man parts in my life. Haha, ew. But really, though. Let's hit the sheets, stud.

YUCK/

I just realized how ridiculously busy I am. Lex leaves tomorrow, award ceremony on Friday, followed by the symphony.. somewhere in between that I have to drop off my transcripts, take my exams, organize my portfolio.. actually fuck that, ACTUALLY MAKE A PORTFOLIO (my ryerson one is simply bland), and pay my cell phone bill. Ew, when did the end of this week get so crazy?! Notice how work isn't any of those.. because I sadly, won't have time to.. which means.. NO MONEY. So my next paycheque is a bust, which sucks.. EW. STOP IT! hahaha. Fack. I just wanna take everything and spread it out over the next two weeks or so. I'd also like to get a new phone, but I'm trying to hold back on that til a new blackberry or the iphone5 drops. I DON'T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL OR PAY FOR STUFF OR WORK/ BOOOOOO!! Can someone point me in the direction of a place to throw up, cuz I definitely feel an anxiety attack about to progress..

LAURYN HILL DRAMA.

I barely hate on artists I truly LOVE. I mean, I hated a little on Jay Electronica when I saw him.. and a little on Lauryn Hill.. but for good reason. She showed up to the show a little over three hours late. AND, when you're about to faint from de-hydration, and you're at a concert with thousands of people, at the front of the stage, you have to pee, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND it's 98 degrees outside, it takes a toll on you. I LOVE LAURYN HILL, really I do.. but let me say how big of a fuckin' diva this broad is turning out to be. The reason why she showed up late to the concert I attended - was because she decided she wanted a mani and a pedi.. and her voice gave out a few times. Like really, that nail polish time could've been rehearsin time. Then she shows up late to another show.. EIGHT MOTHER FUCKING HOURS LATE, and tells her fans (after they booed her), "I personally think, I'm worth the wait". C'mon Lauryn. We're all about your talent. So we'll wait, but don't give us a half ass show.
My buddy, Perla, attended the show last night in Houston. You can check that entry on the side bar to the left! & I can't say I'm not surprised. She again, was three hours late, and didn't give it her full performance.. nor did she say enough about being late. That shit is ridiculous. I bought a Lauryn Hill ticket for the show here in two weeks.. but I'm honestly not sure how I feel about it. How can someone you love, someone so good, perform so terribly?! It's like.. THE GREATEST PIECE OF CAKE IN THE WORLD, but it was baked by someone you hate, and you haven't eaten in two days. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO?! GOD DAMMIT, YOU EAT THE CAKE!

You can read my initial review of Lauryn, HERE

WEDNESDAY, WEDNESDAY, WEDNESDAY.

WHAT'S WACK WEDNESDAY

"BOTCH IT'S A MOVIE"
You know when you're watching a movie, and you're really astounded by something? Like, say for instance.. in titanic, when Rose missed the spot on the cabinet with the ax.. some how, with her eyes closed, she manages to get Jack free on the first swing.. so you're like "wow, I can't believe she did that!". Then there's the person who's like, "Uh, it's a movie". No shit it's a movie.. but isn't that what they're supposed to do? Amaze me? ENTERTAIN ME? WHO KNEW! A movie that could actually entertain! I know the first gun shot to the bad guy, the guy who survived a car crash and a death chase, and the random cafeteria sing-alongs AREN'T real. I'm not an idiot, I know what a movie is. They're kind of supposed to place you in that situation for a second so you get ENTERTAINED, thanks.


Who? Who in their right mind, would eat this?

SUGAR-FREE REDBULL
I've never tried it, but I think that redbull should never change, just stay the same forever my love!

YOU'RE OUR 1 MILLIONTH VISITOR
.. TO THIS SITE AND YOU'VE WON $1 MILLION! -_-. cman, I'm tryna win the real lottery here. & "close window", and new one opens, and close window, and a new one opens. Ugh.

READ?
When you're reading a book, and someone asks, "What are you reading?". Seriously? Seriously though, seriously?

PEOPLE WITH $$$$
.. and instantly buy a macbook, or a skateboard, or an ipod, or a guitar.. and claim they're a dj, a skater, a hip hop head, or in a band. Lookie here sonnies, just because you bought the ingredients doesn't mean you can cook. Fuckin' posers.

PEOPLE WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT WORKING HARD
.. when they don't work at all..! "My stupid phone kept going off cause blahblahblah kept texting me". OH, WHAT A SHAME! Now you had to wake up at 1pm instead of 2pm! Get a fucking job ya fuckin' bum, and stop complaining to me like errands are the hardest thing in life. SOME OF US HAVE REAL LIVES WHERE WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO DO SHIT. Getting a tan isn't a fuckin' errand. That's a fuckin' treat. That's a fuckin' spoiler. "I won't have time because I have to get a tan". Bitch please, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET A TAN. NO ONE, has to get a tan. Learn your needs from wants.

LANGUAGE FUCKS
When Filipinos talk about me in tagalog, so then I'll call my mom and say something in tagalog, just to show them I know they're talking shit about me. They usually smile?! WHY SMILE!? WHY SMILE AFTER?!

NOT FUNNY
When someone makes a bad joke and they expect me to laugh after. They even like wait after, and give me an angry look if I don't laugh right away. Shit sorry, it wasn't funny. We're fighting now?

WHEN PEOPLE TALK IN CLASS
I don't mind a few whispers to other people. Socialize, go for it.. but when you're having full on conversations, you're not lowering your voice at all, and it's even a little louder than a regular tone.. AND THEN, you ask me, "What questions are we supposed to do?", "Which ones are we supposed to skip?", "What page are we on?".. Fuck you, you fuckin' fuck. I had to pay extra attention and drown out your conversations on lame music and lame parties to actually hear the answers to all of that.

HOODRATS
You're not hood. You're just a rat.

Have a good Wednesday everyone !

*NOT INTERESTED!

Remember the days when hawaiians, and oompa lumpas, and avengers, and rayguns were the loves to a few? When common, and mos def, and tribe, and de la, were loves to a few? When hellz bellz, and married to the mob, and stussy, and supreme, were loves to a few? Remember when you found a hip hop head, and it was one of a few, so you said, "YOOOO, you like hip hop?! Who do you listen to?!". Remember when you had people who liked skateboarding OR comics. Now people say they have a "few" interests when their list be looking like "I'm really into movies, I'm a writer, I'm a hip hop head, I'm a sneaker head, I read all the time, I'm really good at video games, I read comics, I'm a skater, I like punk, and anything else that's cool and hipster that will make me look cool too". Remember when live journal held our inner most thoughts, and you thought for hours what should you call your lj cut.. well, for a few? Remember when bloggin' was actual bloggin, and this internet craze was a little less lazy and a little more creative, for a few? Lemme just take these few minutes to say that there's few too many posers, and only a few bloggers, and a few too many sneaker heads, and hipsters, and "hip hop heads", and yo.. sometimes I graze the internet and think "fuck this", even though I'll be back on it in a few.

A 26TH MOMENT WITH BOTCH.

I ALMOST ALWAYS, HAVE RIPS IN MY PANTY HOSE.

WHAT'S WACK WEDNESDAY x A MOMENT WITH BOTCH

THE LONGEST ENTRY EVER EDITION

I can't fucking stand the word "panty-hose". Grossest word ever. I hate the word "panties" too. No fucking thanks.
Almost every day for the past while now, I've been looking up vacations. I. Can't. Fucking. Stop. I have this madly overpowering urge that keeps yelling, "I NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE". & it develops into the tallest tree of urge every day. Soon I'll have a fucking forest. I just need "me" time. Not to say I don't LOVE taking vacations with my boyfriend either. I just need some time to be Botch, and to clear my head of everything that's happened in March.
I'm pissed off at anyone and everyone. I feel like everyone's a lying piece of shit, and they're a waste of breath. I feel like everyone is selfish. Minus cudder, he's top notch right now. In fact, he's the only one keeping my head on my shoulders. If it weren't for dude, I'd be pushing everyone, telling them all, "you're too fucking close to me!!!". Sounds drastic, but that's how I feel right now.
I'm in a good mood too right now.. which is weird. It's a perfect balance between hating everyone and being at peace. I am currently on the last $40 of the money to my name which is a kick to the fucking face. I fully hate everyone who keeps braggin' about "I bought so much shit the other day! You should see all my dresses and lipstick!". Bitch, shut the fuck up. You don't work, you don't pay rent, and you live with your mom and dad. Come talk to me when you have grown up bills you fuckin prick.
Ugh, I'm just bitter at how hard things can be when you're trying to make life.. better.
I guess maybe we put all our frustration of having to "get things done" into anger. It's probably like that because it's easier.. or maybe I'm just rambling and making excuses for myself. Every single thing that I wanted to do today, got shot to shit. I went to my grandpa's niche today.. Is it called a niche? My grandmother got everyone in our family these bracelets. Each bracelet had our names on them. I placed mine with my grandpa's ashes today. She gave each of us them so that we were reminded that we were a family unit. That we are all tied together. Everyone decided to put theirs in grandpa's niche, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to or not. When it came down to the final moment, my game time decision was to put it in there.. I guess just so i could leave that piece with him. My wrist feels a little lonely, and call me crazy, but I feel a little lonely. That feeling might come just from how hard it was to say goodbye.
Afterward I was feeling sick (yes, still), and went to the truck. I cried silently and we went to eat. I said goodbyes to the family that had to head to the airport and my aunt gave me a gift. They were letters that my dad had written my grandpa before I was born. She said being the writer that I have them. I haven't been that touched and warmed in a long time.
After that I sat and waited at a 2pm appointment. I was sick and my head was speaking and this stupid office had a tv that wasn't on and no music. Forgetting my headphones at home, it made the next hour feel like five. My cousin got sick and had to leave, and I was sicker so after an hour waiting my appointment got re-scheduled.. which was an annoyance. I've been waiting a month to get this done, and it got moved again another week. I'm thinking I'll just go somewhere else tomorrow because dealing with that is another "fuck this shit" that I refuse to go through.

I don't know what I fucking want right now, seriously. I want a fucking beach vacation and everyone to stop expecting me to be there for them when no one is there for me. I am sick of people fucking interrupting my stories and making them THEIR stories. I'm sick of biting my fucking tongue so they can finish the story that they stole from my story time. I'm sick of giving everyone a chance when no one's giving me one. & MAINLY, I'm sick of people fucking doubting me.

I don't even care if I'm alone at this point. I don't care if no one calls, or texts, or if I'm at home reading a book. That's fine by me, I'm fine with who I have. The only thing I want, is for everyone to stop asking for a cup of sugar, when I'm the one who's always baked the cookies. How you gonna do that and not offer me a cookie? That's the best analogy I can think of right now.. but to put it blatantly, fuck all you stupid mothah suuuckkahs.

Vaycay comin this April. That's the word.

I'll try and do some happy posts now lol.

Sorry, but my name is Botch.. and THIS IS MY BLOG.

A BIG "FUCK YOU" TO WINNERS.

So today I went to Winners with E, and she spent about $250 in there. I spent zero, just wasn't feeling the shwag today. Upon leaving, "security" comes up to me and says, "I'm sorry, but can you give us back the merchandise you stole?" and I'm like.. "What?!". "The socks that you're hiding in your jacket". Socks? In my jacket?! So immediately I say, "This, this? This right here, is my wallet, I didn't bring a bag". Then they say, "No. The socks you stole".
Getting angry at this point because 1, I have NEVER shop-lifted in my entire life, and 2, you can clearly see how much money we spent, we don't need to steal no fucking socks. SO THEN, one of the guy says to me, "We have the tag you ripped off and we have you on camera, it's what the video shows. So, to make this easier, just give us the merchandise and there won't be any trouble". So I take off my jacket, take off my sweater, in the middle of a fucking parking lot and I say how I clearly don't have them, and that they're fucking psycho, and they keep showing me this tag that I have never seen before trying to prove to me that I stole.. So THEN they say "Listen, we don't want to have trouble here, you need to stop causing a scene, otherwise we'll have to get further authorities involved". So I say something like, "I have $500 in cash in my wallet right now, my sister's a fucking cop, so if you want to go ahead and call the fucking cops, I can go ahead and do that for you. I don't know why the fuck you keep showing me this fucking tag like it's going to make me confess I stole something, if you want me to take off more clothes we can go ahead and do that in the parking lot". Then the first guy who was saying nothing but kept showing me this stupid tag was all, "Okay, sorry for the mistake bye".
Listen here you bunch of fucking fucks. A $5 pair of socks is nothing, and EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOTHING, I surely think you would be absolutely positive before you accuse someone of stealing. I vouche to NEVER feed you business AGAIN, which is a shame for you because I was a frequent customer. I spent $100 at another winners before hand. AND, if you wanna fucking come and ask me to calm down after I'm mad at YOU for being WRONG, you can go ahead and suck some dick. You gonna try and make me look like a fucking hoodrat in the middle of a parking lot?! Fuck you. I have more money in my bank account than the both of you combined I'm sure. & to accuse me with nervousness in the voice and say you're gonna call the cops on me, shows me that you're a fucking pussy who isn't sure what the fuck you're talking about. Get your facts straight before addressing an innocent person. Shop again? Never. You fuckin' pricks.