DEAR FACEBOOK TIMELINE,

Hey, timeline. You're un-organized. People can see all my embarrassing moments from the past, they're supposed to work for that. Your boxes don't even line up. My eyes don't know where to look. You probably have no friends. Everyone probably hates you. When you show up to a party, people say, "Fuck, Timeline's here. I'm out.". You probably have a messy room, with a mess that's not even cool. It's probably just receipts and wrappers from un-cool things. You probably listen to Nickelback.