ON BEING A SMOKER.

Quit that evil glare. I've been ridiculed and lectured quite enough on this filthy habit, and if there's one thing I know, it's smoking is bad for you. We know that. All smokers know that. Quitting can easily be pictured in my future. I just haven't given the option a real effort. I'll give you 5 reasons why.

1. I GET BORED.
I thoroughly enjoy the oral fixation of it. Flicking a cigarette, the feeling of holding it, lighting it. It's a habit. A dirty one, if you may, but this habit has made hours feel like minutes.

2. IT'S SOCIAL.
I'd say at least, 40% of my friends, I have met through a cigarette. That 40% does not include the 7 minute friends. For you non-smokers, the universal time for a cigarette is seven minutes. The conversation you can have with a stranger in seven minutes would really surprise you non-smoking wussies. Sorry for calling you wussies. Kind of.

3. THE MEAL EQUATION.
After a meal, smoking a cigarette really helps. When you're really full, it grabs each food item and places them somewhere where you don't feel as full.

4. THE BOSS EQUATION.
When you're angry and you have a cigarette, people do not want to fuck with you.

5. THE GET OUT EXCUSE.
When you're not feeling a conversation, a person, or you just don't know what to say anymore.. going for a smoke is your perfect get away escape.

"Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it thousands of times." - Mark Twain.

I read an article where the writer said something like, "Every pack I open is 20 more opportunities to quit, I just haven't used one". Couldn't have said it better myself. Belmonts for life, brah.

Those judgements? I feel them. They're easily thrown away though. One inhale at a time.