Tuesday, August 27, 2013


If someone who didn't know me asked me what life was like, I'd say, "I work my ass off then mellow out and have solo dance parties at music festivals a lot". This one I attended with my grandma, she didn't mind the naked people all over the place, and she loved my pink boots. So I really know where my inner music hippie came from.

An eclectic mix of music. Bluegrass, reggae, electronic, hip hop, rock. A little poppy, but worth every cent. $25 for a weekend?! Not to mention my uncle put on an excellent firework show!

More deets after the jump.


I don't have cable. I watched the N'Sync performance though.. as well as the Miley(?) Cyrus(?) Robin(?) Thick(?) performance(?).

That many question marks were included because I have that many questions. What the fuck was that?! I was un-aware that a band-aid could stick their tongue out that much.

Miley was like they took a drunk girl out of the audience and said "hey, go ahead". If it was a drunk girl, everyone would be all roar, but because this was a celebrity who has had some formal celebrity training, everyone sat there stone faced questioning their religions and if buying an outfit for the vma's was really a contender against pajamas and some ice cream.
Miley was like when you have the flu on your birthday.
Miley was like trying on the last pair of amazing shoes on at a store, and they're your size but for some reason a weird fit and don't fit you right.
Miley was like an old lady's thong showing.
Miley was like vomit from a night of excessive drinking, that you found in the morning because you forgot to flush it.
Miley was like getting an invitation to a wedding when you hate the couple getting married.
Miley was that neighbor that follows your "Okay nice talking to you.." with "Just one more thing...." and continues for a half hour.
Miley was like getting pants'd by a stranger and you were wearing your mom's underwear.
Miley was like gluing your toes together then stepping on shards of glass and falling into a pit of fire, only surviving an extra five minutes to watch that VMA performance.

Isn't like Robin Thicke, way older?! Most awkward performance of all time. Me super confuse. Someone tell this girl she most certainly CAN stop, and should.



Gee whiz this guy has rhymes for days.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013


Friday, August 16, 2013


I was just on Facebook and this girl posted a picture of a shitty burned scroll with text of the following quote: "Tattoos are like stories, they symbolize important parts of your life".

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

WAIT! It gets better! Two people actually "liked" this bull shit timeline photo. I just realized I said a couple of posts ago I was trying to gossip less, does this count as gossip?! UGH FUCK I CAN'T HELP IT.

These simple-minded fucks are just too dumb for me. Like, REALLY, worst simile of all time. Also, did this piece of shit scroll illustration really hit you? Really inspire you to go, "Yeah *smiles* tattoos really are, I need to share this"?! Most tattoos are crap, or jokes, or yes they do mean something, but that quote does not represent anything remotely close to inspirational or moving.

So with that being said, here's a list of shitty quotes I'm making up. If you guys know of any illustrators to make these pieces of crap go viral, let's all contribute to making the internet worse. I mean, fuck, everyone else is doing it.

"Sometimes, break-ups hurt, but so do knee scrapes, and we get over those."

"Today might be cloudy, but the sun is somewhere."

"Friends are like popsicles, they're good."

"Puppies are best friends to humans because they have puppy hearts."

"You have to bake the cake before you eat it. Life."

"Trust is like paper, once it's ripped, it's ripped."

Do you have any shitty quotes to share?! Let's all laugh together!

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Remember when I was super obsessed with Disclosure?!

Or Kid Cudi.. or Nas.. or Phoenix.. or MGMT.. or Hot Chip.. or okay wait.. I'm still obsessed with all of these artists.. BUT.. may I introduce the song I've been listening to on loop for days.. FOR REALLY REAL. Ugh, Lorde is my new obsession, and this song is music perfection.


LORDE - The Love Club (live)


FKA twigs - Water Me


I'm so busy, my head might fall off. I'm not totally freaking out, a normal person probably would. My list of tasks exceeds the length of time I have to complete them, but I feel like if I have a panic attack now, I'm going to lose time, so I'm refraining.
I won't say no to any favors. If you'd like to clean my room, do my laundry/dishes, mow my lawn, attempt this paper, answer my e-mails, change over some forms, go to work for me, re-html my blog, copy edit these stories/poetry, or make my phone calls for me, I'll kindly accept.

I've always been the girl to say "yes" to anything anyone asks me, now everyone's getting pissy because I'm giving out a few "no"'s. Y'all can suck it, assholes. Fuck you, and your shirt, lame ass.


Oh. What? Sorry. Was that a mini panic attack?! My apologies, let me return back to my meditation and always chaotic zen mode.

Sunday, August 11, 2013


SPOILER ALERT: So I don't have cable. I cancelled it months ago because everything I watch is on the internet anyway. So, with that being said, I don't get too many commercials in my life. It only happens when I'm at someone's place. When I would be watching something on my own, I either fast-forward commercials, mute them (commercials are louder than whatever you're watching), or I take a snack/pee/dance break.
Today, I saw this commercial. BRILLIANT. ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BRILLIANT. Can we get these suits to come throw down for my blog?! PLEASE, represent me. I haven't seen a commercial this great since.. fuck, um.. when?! This commercial made me laugh so hard, and I can't help but applaud the marketing geniuses behind it. Good show, lads.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013


I left high school a long time ago, well, reality high school.

But really, you never leave high school. College was almost exactly like high school, except you *kinda* study more 'cause you're paying for it. Lunch is still the same, you still have the mains that you hang out with. You still judge everybody, and have everyone judge you. After college, work. Work is the same. Lunch is still "clique-y".

I have this one girl who I say good morning to, literally every morning. She feeds me monotone greetings, sometimes not even looking up.
People "try" to be nicer, maybe, but they're really not.

We're still sucking up to the "cool" people, we're still judging everybody, we're still gossiping.

I've made a real effort this year to try and gossip less, and sometimes I feel the need to gossip, just to fit in.. but fuck that noise.
That shit is super childish, so why is growing up so hard?

Everyone around me is getting married and having kids and buying houses, yet they're up in my ear like, "UGH CAN'T STAND THAT BITCH!", yelling their good morning's to the same broad ten minutes later. There's a difference between being civil, and being fake. Being civil is acknowledging the feelings you have for people, and expressing them in the most adult, mature way possible.

I can't change everybody, shit I probably can't change anybody, but if I fully show myself, and make an effort.. just maybe we can become acquaintances, and in 25 years, I've learned that's much easier than holding the hate down.

Tomorrow, I'm going to say good morning to the same girl again. My good morning's will continue to get louder and more cheerful. I hold absolutely nothing against this girl, so kill 'em with kindness. You'll learn to love me. JUST WAIT FOR IT, I HAVE SOOO MANY JOKES.

Sunday, August 4, 2013



And I would give anything for some ice cream and friends right now.

Saturday, August 3, 2013



Thursday, August 1, 2013