Monday, June 28, 2010



in honest truth i don't even wanna do a mixtape monday right now.. that was until i saw this gem. FUCK THE RADIO!!

starting off with a song called "far from over", a take on drake!! WHATTTTT. i'll throw you some ill shit that comes off on that shit if you haven't heard it yet..

intro: "i know way too many people here right now, listening to this mixtape, like who the fuck are y'all?.. i swear these last few years everyone in the mainstream forgot about reppin the cause.. what are we doing?! what about let's get free?.."
REFERENCE TO LET'S GET FREE. a solid hip hop album. AND THEY'RE BACK FOR THE TAKING.. yes.. bitches. yes.

"we ten years deep, still real, still eatin.. still middle finger to the police, and still mean it.."
"this is more than just a pop song, if you don't know you ain't must been out on the block long, let me teach you how to speak the language, in better form.."

"one thing about music, when it hit, you feel no pain/ ten years later, ain't shit changed, but the players in the game/ still ahead of the pack.. ask drake, he studied my rap/ matter fact - i'll give you that / because at least you ain't sellin' no crack / so i'll take my flow right back / stop the beat - it doesn't matter how many records they sellin / cuz all this bull shit they yellin gonna start hip hop rebellion / in the real world - don't have no boundaries and fears.."
GOOOOOD GOD. i heard this track last week, but it was all i heard from the tape. giving it a REAL listen, and the mixtape a REAL listen. i. am. fucking. flabbergasted.
hoooooly shit..

soul power comes in just as hard, and is that soothing make you think type hip hop that the world needs. AND THAT BEAT?! ACK. sucha beastly mother fucking beat. fuck i missed this shit. i almost wanted to fucking cry this shit was so good. no joke.
dead prez hasn't lost flow.

exhibit M - i think this is one of my favorite instrumentals ever, and dead prez did it better than anyone who ever covered it. wow. wow. wow. "m-m-m-alcom and m-m-m-martin"..

the game is a battlefield - "thye scared of real hip hop.." i can't even fucking type right now. honestly. i'm like trying to type this and i just can't..

malcolm garvey huey feat. Divine - MY FAVORITE.. over the beamer benz or bentley beat.. possibly one of the hottest commercial beats to drop this year. "everything i do revolutionize".. wow. learn! pure substance.

they shit on everybody who's not spitting shit that isn't hip hop movement. AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HIP HOP IS. a MOVEMENT. let's take this back to where hip hop teaches you, AND REMINDS YOU, of what is going on in the world.. in the most beautiful forms of word ever, POETRY. everything on this tape from front to end is so fucking soulful and beautiful i just wanna trap it in a jar and only open it on special occasions. every word hits you like a fucking bullet, and it's the most amazing feeling ever. i don't want to say anything else.. if you're not on your way to download it right now, you're a fuckin' idiot. LISTEN TO WHAT IM SAYING AND GO GET IT. lol.. i plan to listen to nothing but this after i'm done with my roots albums in rotation (seeing them tonight! yayurrRrr!).

all we need is to cut out that cot damn hype man yelling.

go geeettttt ittt..!

Sunday, June 27, 2010


it's syntifik sunday, and DE emailed me ten hip hop questions that he'd like to see answered. readers are dope, so i had to hand him some answers.. i expect to see your answers in the comment box de ;) hahah.. esco, let's get to bloggin.

1. Favorite Summer Album
i was going to say snoop, but i feel that's too fucking cliche. bake sale's beats hit soooo hard, and this album screams summer. it's definitely a summer banger..!! .. and nerd's seeing sounds is so summer it's redic. i was lucky enough to see both nerd and the cool kids within the same year.. and i bumped both albums thoroughly. ALL THE GIRLS STANDING IN THE LIINEEE..

2. Favorite Winter Album
i tend to get real soul easy when winter rolls around. my music tones down A LOT. i like things real smooth, but with dope lyrics. & lupe and phonte do that to the fullest. nicolay does wonders on the connected album. i feel like the best part about winter, is grabbing a warm drink.. sitting somewhere secluded like a library and listening to some real good music. both these albums have the tendency to warm me up.

3. Song that reminds you of your childhood
this was a tough one.. i had to close my eyes and place myself back to the 90's. when i was a kid, my family owned this banquet hall, where literally everyone in town had their weddings, 16th, 18th birthdays, and any social event basically. i would be there literally 4 times out the week.. and i remember the dj's always playing house of pain's jump around. that shit tore the roof off some days. my brother was a BIG onyx fan, and shit was always blazing through his headphones, so every time i hear that song.. i find myself sitting in the back seat, on my way to school, while my mom tells my brother to turn down his walkman. american pie was a song my dad sang routinely, mostly in the morning.. and my mom always sang unforgettable or k-sirrah when she would get me ready. all four of those songs bring me back to those exact moments.. i almost tear up writing about them!

4. Favorite emcee (Other than Nas)
ouch. GOOD QUESTION. i'd say it's a toss up between big l and biggie. ironic isn't it?! i done had to pick two emcees who both passed before bringing further music.. but i don't know. i think that's what makes them even more impressive.. that they could actually stand out that much without as much work as other artists. i really love slug from atmosphere too though.. this is why i hate when people ask me who my top five are.. lol

5. Favorite slept on Album
this was a hard one to answer.. i consulted with my brother.. and we brought up big l, but he really isn't THAT slept on. then we brought up onyx's baccdafukup, but it isn't really up to par.. the first naughty by nature album.. but that isnt it either.. thought maybe it could be hard to earn.. or anything by epmd.. AND FUCK. here i sit.. still stumped. SO.. i've narrowed it down to two, that are my personal favs. 1 being, outkast - atliens.. when people think of outkast, they think of aquemini and southernplay.. but atliens is soooo good. front to back that shit is timeless.. in my opinion, it's just as good! ALSO, diamond d's stunts blunts and hip hop.. that album is fucking AMAAAZINGGGGG.. and whenever i bring it up, people are like "what?".. so i just don't.. but i'll say it right now, everyone breathing should have that album.. and anything by jeru the damaja.. why do people sleep on jeru?! JERU IS SO FUCKING BOSS!

6. Favorite Summer song
beside's usher's omg?! lol.. summertime in the lbc.. of course.

7. Top 5ive producers that you like that's out right now
goodness.. i like forty, i know.. shut up. swizzy! exile.. hi-tek.. kanye (YUP!)
that's in no order though.

8. Favorite Old school producers
PREMIER, MADLIB, PETE ROCK, RZA AND DILLA.. and although i hate to admit it, jermaine dupri. i hate him to shit, but the music that leaves the booth are always big tunes.. and q-tip. every time i type one, i think of another one.. jam master jay.. alchemist.. shitttt.. i could go on forever.

9. Favorite group ( not the best just your favorite)

and finally 10. Who's your favorite DJ?
currently, dj tactics from toronto. diiiiiigg!!

thanks again for the questions de:)
that seriously took me forever.. but i got an email from loni schick today so that makes blogging all the worth while:)

so what are YOU waiting for?! ask me anything.

Saturday, June 26, 2010


i know i didn't post any pics yesterday, i was totally out and about and when i did finally get home.. i crashed. i was dead tired from no sleep the entire week.. so i've decided to post all my pictures today.. better late than never right?! here goes it.

to start off, i hadn't slept for two nights and decided i was brave enough to take a wheat grass shot.
i look yellow and tired.. but i did it.

bianca and i went to lime lite for her buddy's birthday.. this place is fucking g, full of karaoke busters and rowdies. i thoroughly enjoyed it.. seeing as how i now know the fashion sense.

meet my only ride, never die.


damn maribeth, i need that sweater in my life!


when lex leaves the city, so does all of this. not good for my 40 year old body !

my grandpa and uncle donald:) father's day 2010

yes people, we're cousins again. i don't hate her anymore! hahahahahahaha

nom nom time bitches.

i make family portraits solid.

we showed up at dinner, wearing the exact same thing.

this is my uncle jerry. he's always happy.

too easy bitches, too easy. gimmie a real challenge.

we always sits besides each others.

we tied my grandpa's birthday bow around his head, he dug it.

there were enough ribbons to go around.. and my grandpa will get the wu-tang.. some day.

tokyo police club was tina's first concert ever, and it was with me:)
we're not crazy btw.

this is my uncle donald:) he's a magician, so my childhood memories of him are pure magical!


come back! i want my rain!

the crooked brothers lunch concert

they're really good, dude can sing forreals.

this guy in yellow was dancing up a storm while eating his lolli

it was fucking awesome.

MY FIRST TIME AT DAIRY WHIP.. (jason au is too important to get off the phone ;)

which i called daly burger ahahha.. oops.

DO NOT EAT ANYTHING BEFORE DAIRY WHIP.. i did.. and tapped out.. but it was good, thanks j!

jason au on the other hand, he's a beast. champion. check out his beastly activities @

and that was my week people.. all i did this week was eat! so it's saturday and i stayed home last night. let's rage.

paint this city drunk!




a female sneakerhead, writer and hip hop photographer.

being a female sneakerhead is difficult. i can't stress that enough. when you're a girl, addicted to sneakers, we want the same thing the boys get. we're trying to avoid all that girly butterfly vomit that companies throw at us, while still trying to hold down our femininity. this girl makes it look fucking easy.

hailing from sask (yes, SASK! she's canadian too!!!), loni seems to understand sneakerheads through and through. in an interview with fsf, she states, "Instead of just taking a picture, I want them to have a capsule of their collection, So, when they’re older, they’ll always have these pictures to document the love they had for these kicks they spent so much money on and feel so passionate about."

how can you not love this girl?! she's beautiful, she's a hip hop head, and she has a passion for sneakers.. and she's captivating the worlds beauty one picture at a time.. plus she digs mob!!

she is going to be doing big tings! so make sure you don't sleep..!

you can check her out here:

Thursday, June 24, 2010





you know, i try not to write too much about this one guy.. just because it's like "fuck, really?! are we really doing this right now?!". but here's the thing. every relationship molds you. every relationship teaches you something about yourself, that you never knew.. and as much as i hate it, this guy was no fuckin' different..
i'm skipping a few ex-boyfriends that were right after jim (my last exboyfriend post which you can view HERE).. SO for the sake of no confusion, we'll call dude .. john. i'm only skipping them because this is an entry that i've been avoiding.. and i need to just do it. soo, let us begin.

i met john through a friend.. and i was introduced to him about .. i'd say a month before we started dating. it was a house party, we were both drunk, and we ended up hooking up.
no fuckin fairy tale sugar coating bull shit there.. it was purely and solely bull shit from the very fuckin' start. fuck. i'm already pissed off, let me light a cigarette.

i was very distraught about my break up with the guy who was right before john.. (of whom, i'll write about next thursday).. like i was a fuckin' wreck. i got myself into a sticky situation where i wanted everything just to go back to being awesome. john was sort of a quick fix. we started out as nothing.. just hanging out. well, since i was heartbroken about exboyfriend number 2, i kind of used john to make everything all better.

do i sound mad? well i guess i'm a little pissed. every action has a point, five points make a fist.

this relationship started off rocky as fuck. he was a liar from the very beginning, and i forced myself to cling on to the fact that he wasn't. three months deep, we faced what would become our biggest and most common downfalls. he stole money from me. around $300.. but dude was smart. he knew how to twist the story to make a girl feel like it wasn't theft. he made it become a "loan" and that was fine by me. after his bull shit story of how he needed it more than i did, i believed him.. and i believed he would pay me back.
that same downfall, became routine.. and other problems soon followed. the fights got worse. screaming til your lungs hurt, and crying til my cheeks burned from tears were routine. i was used to it. i felt stuck, trapped.. in something i didn't believe to be reality. i kept on telling myself that things would get better. i kept telling myself that people could change.
.. and soon, i told myself that i loved him. i think that every girl has that nurturing instinct in them. that piece of girl that wants to change people. that wants to bring out the good in a bad person, and that's exactly what i thought i was doing.
between him buying me extravagant "i'm sorry" presents.. between him telling me how i was the greatest thing in his life. between him hurting me, there was belief, and hope. i liked how the world didn't know. i liked how the world would see this gangster ass mother fucker who bought his girlfriend everything, who would take her out. but it wasn't like that. behind close doors, there was broken dishes, there were tears, and there was a shit load of "i'm sorry's". "it'll never happen again" happened again. then the doors would open again.
this shit went on for two years. two years of a cheater. two years of a professional liar.. TWO YEARS.. until we finally reached our biggest down fall. this mother fucker wouldn't even fucking hold my hand in public. NOPE. he would buy me computers, he would buy my cell phones, but he wouldn't fucking hold my hand.
AND ALL OF THAT MONEY.. all of that fucking money, was dirty. i grew to love a dude that was addicted to fuckery, except that it wasn't love. "love" was a lie. love was me wanting to be a fucking princess, hoping that dude would finally man up.. and own his shit. that dude would finally become what he was in front of people, and that the door would remain open.. for the better.

this entry keeps circling back and forth between nowhere and nothing but i can't seem to find the words to say what i want to say.

i don't know how to say it to help you to feel what i felt, but i'll try so to the best of my ability.

basically.. about a month before we broke up.. i started to find out about the cheating. girls started telling me themselves. i put it aside, figuring, "they're just jealous bitches with too much time on their hands".. that was, until i started catching it myself. i started seeing the calls, the emails, the pictures!! FUCKING PICTURES.. and dummy little me, still told myself, he loves me.
he would come home, never. he would call me, never.. and when we were together, it was a quick fuck with no conversation. he would be all strung out off coke and i replaced sleep with crying.

i was shamed, and i didn't want anyone to know. i didn't want anyone to think that i was stupid.. i wanted everyone to believe that everything was okay.. and if i kept up with that, i would probably still be with him. it took him hurting someone close to me for me to finally leave.
it took me losing $8000 and a car, to finally break away.

the last time i saw him was literally the day before i met my current boyfriend. he gave me $40, all the money he had at the moment (according to him).. and he brought me food. what's crazy is, even after all of the bull shit he put me through every single fucking day.. i still fucking want what's best for him. on my first real date with my current boyfriend.. we were walking around downtown toronto.. and john called me. i took the fucking call.
it's stupid of me to still have this ounce of hope that john could actually change and better himself.. which i don't believe. i don't think he will ever change. i told him all i EVER want from him is to pay me back. i told him i don't give a fuck if it's $10 a week, i want what he took from me.. then i realize what he took from me was so much more than money, it was so much more than what i owned, it was so much more than what i wanted to believe. he took a piece of me with him.. and he left the fucking city, right when i did.. he had to. i don't think he'll ever go back to winnipeg, and that's fine with me. i just hope one day he realizes what he needs to do to fill that hole.

with all of that bull shit on the fucking table.
let's say this the only way i know how..

dear john,
i got an idea, you should get a tattoo that says "warning". that's all, just a warning.. so the potential victim can take a left, and save breath, and avoid you sober and upset in the morning. i wanna scream "fuck you", but instead i'ma finish this smoke and have another while you think about how you used to be my lover.

i've finally closed the door with you on the other side.


Wednesday, June 23, 2010


so go get lost between god and a shot of scotch.


i wanna send a big fuck you to my fucking lawnmower. i recently injured my arm, so today when i tried to pull the rope for the motor of my lawnmower, no fucking go. i tried pushing that release button.. i added gas to it.. i even took apart the fucking bottom, and took out everything caught in there.. kept pullin, kept pullin. the stupid mother fucker would not start. the sun was blazing, sweat was falling down my neck, and the more i pulled without a start, the more i got pissed off. i spent an hour doing that shit. my lawn still isn't cut.. mother fucker.. and to make that even better..

while i mow my lawn, i usually let my dog hang out with me .. he likes sitting on the steps in the shade. well, while i was struggling to get my lawnmower started, he decided to take a poop smack dab right on the steps. YOU MOTHER FUCKER.. of all places! you couldn't just have went on the grass!?! the tallness of the grass would hide it anyways.. but to make that even better..

while starting my lawnmower, i had to kill those mother fuckers as they attacked me. i threw a fucking tea party for mosquitoes, and the party was well-over capacity. WHY DO YOU FUCKERS LOVE ME SO MUCH?! leave me the fuck alone!! i'm so fucking itchy! i even got one on the bendy part of my thumb:( what is that! how do i even scratch that!! .. but to make this even better..

right when i started this old man drove by me, and he was just looking at me. i kind of gave him a look like, "stop fucking looking at me old man, i'm a weakling but i'll be able to get it".. an hour later, i know it was an hour because it's when i gave up.. he drives by again, parks, gets out, and he says "did you get your lawnmower started?!".. like really guy, really. yes i did get it started, i just decided that i like my grass long. you fuckin' fuck. anyway i say "no". and then he goes "you want me to do it?!" and i say "no".. and he goes "want me to show you how to do it?!" LIKE REALLY?! this isn't mini golf. i do not fucking want you to put your arms on my arms and show me how to pull a fucking rope. i can do it, i'm just not strong right now okay. i say, "no..... thanks." and he says, "alright, bye beautiful" AND WINKS!! the audacity!! DO I LOOK LIKE A 20 SOMETHING YEAR OLD WHO LOOKS LIKE SHE DIGS 70 SOMETHING YEAR OLDS?! I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOTTTTT!!

i am sweaty.. and i am ITCHY.. with five fucking thousand mosquito bites. my arm fucking hurts and my lawn isn't cut. what's wack!? allah that shit. how i wasted an hour of my life.. how i probably won't be able to mow my lawn..
i had so many things to write about for wack wednesday, but i have decided to leave you with this because i wanted to vent. i'm gonna go ice my arm now. LOL. fuck this shit right now.. i can't survive without a boyfriend. i fucking need one. i need a boyfriend to do that boyfriend shit, like cut my lawn. i'm too fucking girly sometimes. *gag.. and also.. thank you for the apology. i don't want to touch too much on anything, because i really don't know how to.
bianca, can we go for beer later?! please?!

i'm treating mosquitoes like they owe me drug money. i'ma kill all you stupid mothah suuckkahhhhsss!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010



I REALLY DON'T GIVE A FUCK.. about anything really. it takes a lot to get at me, to urk me, to whatever. i don't really give a fuck about what people think about me, as long as it's me. like fuck, if i woke up in the morning hungover as fuck, i wouldn't exactly be like "yeah we can go out for breakfast, i don't mind if people see me".. cuz i go back and forth.. some days i'm like "fuck it, i'm grabbin dim sum in my fuckin' pajamas" other days i will not leave without applyin the lip gloss.
for the most part though, i don't give a fuck. i will jump on benches, i will dance like an idiot in the middle of downtown when people are everywhere. i will pick wedgies. i will spit.
i get really loud, and say whatever the fuck i'm thinking. i spill my drinks on people and think it's funny.. but if someone spills my drink i expect a new one.
i love rings or any jewelry that pirates or gangsters would wear. i'm real big on tacky shit. i love big goddy gold chains and things you wouldn't expect to be jewelry. i love weapons that are made into accessories. i think weaponry is absolutely fucking artful.
i watch tv with my hand down my pants. i don't know why i do it.. it's fucking comfortable.
i hold hands with my guy friends.. not cause i'm in love with them.. i just do. i'm really close with all of my friends, and when you're surfing through a crowd of people, it's nice to have a leader.
if anyone i knew, called me up and said "you wanna grab a beer?" i'd be down. i never turn down an offer to hang out unless i absolutely despise the person, or if i see them every day.. cuz then it's like easy sailor.. let me breathe.
i rage at concerts. i am always at the front. i fucking throw down.

my bad for the lack of blogging.. these past few days have been redic.. i'll try and get into it when i can. payce.

Friday, June 18, 2010


& for more pics, all you gotta do is get lost between god and a shot of scotch.


what's been going on in your life this past week botch?! ohh well why don't you let me show youuu..

penthouse view is too beautiful. i live for summer.

"botch you want this charcoal bbq?"

awww ice cream birthday cake! so cute! even better eating cake in the car while on a beer run. yayurr.

we have one million pictures together.. and this is the first fail.

dirty money!

my current new fun gal pal..!

marti i want your tayf!!


tj is captain morgan and i am just a wreck.

alli holds it down for me though..

blog world, meet jono.. !

dammit richard your eyes are closed.. try again.

we did it!

and just because it's richard and i love him?!

happy birthday alli!!

this is marti.. i love him.. and i hate him for having such white teeth.. fuck you marti.. you handsome fuck.

this is chief:)

then my memory started getting hazy..

"why is there meat on the table!?!!?!!"

and this, is nick!

wedding dessert to add to my thighs.

and this.. is my mom. do we look alike?


nothing like a shit load of beer, wings, basketball, and then some fucking cruising.. while listening to biggie. gimmie the loot.

peace singers hurting my lunch! i'm not a complete bitch, i'm jus sayin..

bonibelle wasn't down for it either.. we're trying to eat here.


we visited the witch's hut.. and she was scary as fuck. i cringed.

it's mother fucking shit scary in there forreals.

and then we fed ducks! & got eaten alive by mosquitoes cuz that's fun?!

we decided the ducks with purple feathers were the lakers and the green ones were celtics.. kobe hogged all the food.. irony.

pierce and kobe, chillin.

couples walking in the park = cute

ANDDDDDDDDDDD it was a good week! ANDDD it's also the weekend!! so fuck yeah!! let's fucking rage!! i wanna get stupid drunk..

and this week was a really HARD, brutal, too much working not enough playing week.. so i'm about to take a load off.. raaaaaaaaaagggeee!

and also.. FUCK THE LAKERS!! you sunnuvahh beeetchesss!!