Wednesday, June 16, 2010



shaving your legs/arm pits fucking sucks.. and don't even get me started on shaving kooch. it just doesn't go down. you gotta wax that shit. waxing fucking rules.. but does anyone know what girls go through when we wax?! first you gotta wait, cuz hair has to be a certain length, otherwise it won't come off when you wax.. and yo, it kind of hurts. yeah you get used to it, but it's still something we all wish we didn't have to do. someone i know recently got her armpits lasered.. literally nothing will ever grow there again. i wanna get everything lasered. ya trick ya! girls just shouldn't have body hair. we just shouldn't :(

when your exboyfriend has a new girlfriend, and she's ugly at shit. this is hard to complain about because i have mixed feelings about it. first it's like "haha sucker. can't get no better than me". then it's like "wait yo, wtf am i ?! cuz she's fucking dirty". someone showed me my exboyfriend's girlfriend, she was some fobby lookin skeletor. & she was 6 years younger than me.. which makes her 10 years younger than him. EW EW EW EW EW. i was angry! what are you doing?! like really!@ you're really doing this to my image?! LOL you fuckin' bastard.. what's even worse though, is when the girl's hot.. so i guess he's better off with that ugly jail bait.. BUT STILL.. you're embarrassing me.

when girls post profile pictures where they obviously only put a picture up for comments.. and then they caption it with something like "ew i'm so ugly/fat/too skinny in this picture". BITCH. you are in a fucking dress, propping your leg up, lips puckered like you're about to fucking have sex with the camera. stop asking people to say things like "no you're not, you're beautiful!".. and then reply with "awww thanks babe. you are too." SHUTTHE FUCK UP! clearly you think you're hot shit. stop being so fake modest. it's disgusting and makes me wanna puke all over your big head.

i currently have 8 mosquito bites. you sunnuvahh beetches.

1: "cuz like my mom wants me to be 'respectful' like ugh she is SUCH A BITCH!"
2: ".. and?"
1: "that's it."
2: "........ i .. see. you wanna go eat?"
i don't care about your boring life okay/

there's this girl downtown.. i see her literally almost every fucking day.. and she goes up to everyone telling this lame story about how she needs this much more for a greyhound ticket to get back home.. and i'm always like "ugh this stupid bitch".. just because shit, you know she's lying. WELL. today was a big day.. because when she asked this one girl (who was near me), she said "i don't believe you".. and the junkie freaks out, like "YOU DON'T KNOW ME. do you?!" and the next girl goes "no. no i don't know you, but i don't believe you".. and junkie goes "YEAH YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT!" like in her face.. so i say to the junkie .. since i'm like, in the vicinity and shit.. like "dude! you tell this same story all the fucking time. it's obviously bull shit, just stop. leave the fucking girl alone". she storms off, and about a meter away, there's an old lady sitting on a bench, wearing a sun hat.. and the junkie approaches her.. the old lady says no.. so the junkie yells at her "YOUR HAT'S WEIRD!" and then the junkie turns back around to scream at the crowd "YOU'RE ALL WEIRD!"
hahahha. like wtf?! bitch shut the fuck up. you're trying to get my sympathy every fucking day.. with the same old fucking trick story.. if it was that one time, yeah bitch, you would've gotten my fifty cents.. but you ruined it. you're a lying trick. switch it up mami, it's how i fucking caught you. i fucking hate this girl with a fucking passion. stupid trifilin trick..

YOU JUST FUCKING WAIT. you just fucking wait you dirty sluts. you'll fucking get what's coming to you, and it'lll be 1000 times harder than what you threw at me. i hope you're ready.. cause this summer is going to be my best!!!.. and your worst.
xoxo hahahah.

daps to everyone i seen today. whoop. daps to everyone i did not:(
MARIBETH! i keep missing you. i want alcohol! with you!
honey got a booty like pow pow pow.. honey got some boobies like wow oh wow..
literally watch this video every day. still. who else can make "boobies" sound cool?! only ursher baby.. only urrrssshherr.


jHHHHeff said...

ew. kooch.

Hahaha Skeletor. I bet she's beautiful on the inside though =D junkie....

you and your beef with girls.....I don't know man, honestly, I don't take this the wrong way but: it's all in the hips. you need twist your whole body (starting at the hip) as you throw your haymaker. it's called maximizing your punching efficiency. practice, practice, practice!

syntifik said...

hahaha oh jheff!! <3
she's not beautiful on the inside.. shes a fucking twat and you know it!
thanks for the fighting tips.. can i practice on you!?

just kidding! thanks for the ice cream!.. and corn. AHAHAH

Maribeth said...

exboyfriend's with ugly girls both on the inside and out suck. in the end no ones ever gonna have swagga like us, the rest of them are epic fails.

the other night i got home and saw a HUGE ASS mosquito in my room, i didn't kill so i waiting till 1:30am to see if i could cause i didn't wanna go to sleep so it could eat me.

and then the disrespectful bitch found 5 dollars lol

fuck all those junkies downtown trying to take the bus to somewhere.

lets get drunk at old market square on saturday!!! free music!!

Maribeth said...

wow let me try this again...

the other night i got home and saw a HUGE ASS mosquito in my room, i didn't kill so i waitED till 1:30am to see if i could kill it cause i didn't wanna go to sleep so it could eat me.

syntifik said...

lol!! it always takes me a few weeks before i can kill mosquitoes.. i don't like bug guts on my hands.. but once i get to that point.. i'm heartless, and i start mosquito massacres.

consider saturday a date!
what do i wear?!
it's hot as a sunnuvvah bitch these days.