Friday, May 10, 2013


Well. You've done it. You've logged into Facebook. What were you thinking?! Get out of there. Now you're going to be overwhelmed with inspirational quotes and memes that are nowhere near funny. Oh, Facebook. Dear, Facebook. Where you get invited to things you don't care about and block applications like they're software updates.
Facebook. The number one website in the world that helps you to "stay connected". It does a good job of that. I won't deny it. However, the swamp effect is a little un-bearable. The swamp effect. That's what I call it. Here's a list of 5 Facebook pet peeves that drive me crazy.

"What a nice day outside!", "Going for a walk.", "Omg so tired!", "Having dinner, then going to bed". OH, WOW. Thank you. My day certainly was not going good until THIS happened! Thank you so much!

These ones. These ones. Check in at the gym. Updated status: "Make time, no excuses". Mobile photo of their protein shake. Gym quote. HOLY, FUCKING, SHIT. We get it. I completely encourage people to better themselves but if you're needing all types of attention from it, it's annoying, and we end up deleting you. Then you'll be getting a lot less "likes", bro.

Oh, that's your kid eating, cute:) Oh you're kid sleeping, cute:) Okay, your kid in a new shirt. Okay, kid watching tv. Kid sitting. Kid standing. Omg, you've posted 46 pictures of your kid in one day. Not much has changed. Replace "kid" with any "pet", this can go both ways.

If you're showing me 10 memes per day, chances are, they aren't all funny. Don't TRY to succeed, man. "Oh this is kind of cool". NO! Kind of cool, you glance over. Share the things that FLOOR you. THAT ARE AN ABSOLUTE MUST. The inspirational quote doesn't help you none either.

These statuses: "Don't even want to talk about it :(", "This is the fucking worst :(". OH THESE CLIFFHANGERS! The statuses that are just begging for someone to comment "What's wrong, hun?!". UGH. I wish all these emo fucking fucks would get blogs.

IN SUMMARY: Facebook should be: WHAT YOU WOULD TALK ABOUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS/FAMILY. It is conversation, it is your life. If you would bring all of these things up, then fine, go ahead. Your friends/family are probably used to your annoying self already.. but if you would not, refrain. Hold back a little. Our timelines are hard to catch up on with the swamp effect. Chill yo, chill.

What's your biggest Facebook pet peeve?!


Anonymous said...

stupid game invites.
people who share every single video that they think is funny.
no dislike button
people who link their tweets to their status messages
people above the age of 40 being overly active on FB
people under the age of 15 being overly active on FB
the fact that i get obsessed with how many likes i get on posts "No likes =( im sad forever"
hot girls in relationships
ugly dudes in relationships lol
no dislike button.

pie said...

HAHA "wish all these emo fucking fucks would get blogs".

People who don't link their FB status to other accounts yet still use shitloads of hashtags. #getafuckingtwitteraccount

Oh man, have you ever read ?? They've actually categorized the shit parents post on FB.