Sunday, April 8, 2018


You ever cry in the back of a taxi cab?! I do that shit a lot. Did it today. Did it last week. Probably gonna do it again next weekend.

Everything looks so much sadder from a taxi window. Cars are just lights, faces are just sweeping blurs. Like.. the world isn't really there. I want a different world. Cold, dark. This one sucks, it's soooo cooooold and sooooo dark. I feel like I'm floating, looking down at myself, and just being generally sad for the girl on the ground. I just wanna scoop her up in my hand and rub her head. Or honestly, have my boyfriend stroke my hair would be equally as fine maybe?!

Brain and heart control is tough. I've realized, I have absolutely zero control over both. Z-E-R-O. That's why sometimes you'll catch me in a crowded room, dancing away, and sometimes you'll catch me low-key crying to loud music, into a glass of whiskey. Both girls are equally me, I think. Everything just fucking sucks, ALL THE TIME. Are these moments of happy, really happy, if they're actually going to be smashed into terrible heart-wrenching bits just a few moments later?! What parts of our entire story do we remember?! WHICH ONES DO WE PICK?!

What are you yammering on about, Botchy.

Get me a flight the fuck outta here.

That's the mood.

I promise I'll make some jokes and be in a better state after I drink this henny. WHO DRINKS HENNY?! I don't know myself. Man, I don't know myself. I keep trying to convince myself that I'm *this* or that I'm *that*, and I'm having a very hard time believing myself. I just don't know. Sorry, I swear jokes and some sort of amazing song will be posted next.