51,111 THANK YOUS.

this whole blog thing doesn't really phase me sometimes. so i have a few thousand readers, but it never really feels like it.
the whole reason i ever started blogging, was i felt it was the only way i knew HOW to do things. my mom let me have my first journal when i was five. i still have it. she had these journal type notebooks which she used for inventory lists at the restaurant she owned. she literally had piles and piles of them.. well, being a five year old at a restaurant during closing time felt like a lifetime.. for both me and her lol.. that was until i saw this one notebook that caught my eye. it had two puppies on the front cover. i loved puppies (still do) and i didn't know why else other than the love for puppies, but i had to have it. i asked my mom for it, and she immediately said yes, more than likely the thought of something keeping me busy rather than me writing a novel.
i grabbed a red pen, and sat in the booth of her empty restaurant. it made me feel important, something that was mine.. and it was very grown up. i felt like a grown up. i spend that first day writing my name. at five, it was the only thing i knew how to write/spell. i wrote it all over the inside cover, and i think i even scribbled one out because i accidentally spelled my own name wrong the first time.
but, i kept at it, every time we closed the restaurant. i'd grab my journal. soon entries filled with my days, and things i made at school. from recess, to my dad passing away.. to elementary.. to junior high.. to first crushes, and math tests.. to high school, to grad, to dates, and boyfriends.. to now. since the age of five, i have never stopped writing.. be that on the internet, or in a notebook. be that with proper grammer, or just my name over and over. i haven't stopped..
and the whole reason i do this, is because over the past seventeen years, this has become my life. & if i can get that one person who relates to a simple experience, or a traumatic event, or a fucked up night, or a party, then just for that second, i'm sitting there, back in that booth. excited about showing my mom what i wrote.
whether you've connected with me or not, whether you've commented or not.. you've helped me, to become most thankful for people who take a second out of their lives, to take a step into mine.

xoxoxxo

botch.