I REALLY WISH I COULD SLEEP RIGHT NOW..

i think i'm gonna go ahead and say that october 2010 has been the shittiest month ever. i fucking hate you october 2010. i just laid in bed for like four hours with my mind wandering. i do this thing at night when i'm trying to sleep, i tell myself "don't open your eyes".. and if i do, i repeat the cycle. well two hours of fighting my mind i ended up hitting up the computer to write a blog entry about my dilemma.
no nothing's wrong, but everything's wrong.. soooooo.. even the things i say don't make sense. i'm not sad, more mad. & i shift in and out between pissed off and laughing my ass off. after i click "publish post" i plan to hit my bed up again to re-acquaint myself with this thing called "don't open your eyes". this weekend was a blast indeed, and i find these days that weekends are my only solid platform to keep me fucking sane. i think half the reason why i can't sleep right now is because once i do, that means the weekend's over.
as soon as i wake up i have to go through a solid monday - friday routine. days that last from 7am-10pm, and if my sleep pattern continues.. it'll be 7am-2am days. having no "me" time and no boyfriend within the same city is kind of a gut puncher right now. the ignoring of the blackberry continues.. fuck y'all mother fuckers. goodnight. i hope.