BLOG WHAT YOU WANT.

There's always that "maybe I shouldn't blog this".

Yeah, ignore that.

I was hit with, "You're an artist, you can say anything you want." the other day.

Get your creative on.

WOW.

WEEEELLLLLL! I know I've been away from the blogging world for quite some time, BUT LET ME EXPLAIN MYSELF. I've been working from 7am-3pm and then 4pm-9pm. Being that the commute to work is about an hour and fifteen minutes, I would have to be awake by 4:30 am.. when I would get home at around 9:30pm, in bed by about 10:30. That left me with 6 hours of sleep (if I'm lucky) for the past six weeks. SO HERE I AM! ON CHRISTMAS VAYCAY! AND TOTES AT HOME.. AFTER SLEEPING IN TIL 9AM AND WATCHING PINOCCHIO. Feels good man, feels fucking great. Now if only I had some funds. Hearing I could get some shifts in January is something I so desperately need. Student loans are really the biggest assholes I hang out with :(
Yesterday was Anthony's birthday. Went out, lit a candle on a birthday cake, drank some Manhattans and tried to hold back the tears. I miss him so so so so much.
I'm pretty much throwing down every single effort in me into work and organizing my life. I've hit this whole "me" time in my life. It's really exhausting but I hope all of it in the end will better me. That's all we ever want, right?!

So. In summary, get money, laugh, cry, do your laundry, pay your bills, read, and have a Merry Christmas.. and if you know anyone looking for a crazy writer to write stuff, throw them my e-mail.

Til next post, kids.

BIRTHDAY BONIBELLE.

Today is her day. MIZZZZZZZZ PHEEEENNNOMMMMENNAAALLLL, if you will.

Let's get it. Happy birthday, my lovely.

BASIC SPACE.

I'll take you in pieces, we can take it all apart. I've suffered shipwrecks right from the start. I've been underwater, breathing out and in. I think I'm losing where you end and I begin.

Basic space, open air. Don't look away, when there's nothing there.

I'm setting us in stone, piece by piece, before I'm alone. Air tight, before we break,
keep it in, keep us safe.

It's a pool of boiling wax. I'm getting in. Let it set. Got to seal this in. Can't adjust, Can't relearn. Got to keep what I have, preserve.

Basic. Space.

TIMES MAY BE HARD..

Sometimes the biggest challenges are the ones that you give yourself.

Hang on.

All we get in this world is time.

We can wait for the good days.

KISS ME LIKE YOU MISS ME, FUCK ME LIKE YOU HATE ME.

But she don't want a weekend - she wants all of me or none of me.

ALL OVER.

The love we had was strong, now it's all gone. What are we gonna do?

We're gonna pick ourselves up.
We're gonna turn it around.
We're gonna start over.

MY BEST FRIEND SAY..

How you feeling? Let me know what's on your mind..

Here for you. Til the end of time and always.

No matter how much things change.

I'll be there.

I'll be there for you, anytime you need, you can lean on me.

Is that real love? You the only one that I real love.

JESSICAS.

EXHAUSTION.

Hospital has been super busy, you guys. Working in emergency is like hard and stuff. Hey people, stop getting hurt. Thanks.

Sincerely yours,

Tired Over-worked Botch.

KIZURRRRR DAY.

Happy Birthday to one of the bossiest bitches I know. Get 'em girl.

CHEERS.

A few Halloweens ago I bumped into you at a party. I had to go to the bathroom and when I opened the door you were in there. On the floor. With an open briefcase surrounded with fake money. I wasn't even phased, didn't wonder why you were on the floor at all, but I did have one question, "HEY! YAY! What the hell is all this fake money for?!". You replied, "It's for throwing, Jesus you're dumb. Here. Let's get drunk.", and handed me the hugest bottle of the most disgusting vodka I have ever tasted.
We danced and threw money all night.

Still trying to tone down my excitement of the thought of possibly running into you tonight. Wish it were true. Miss you like crazy. Cheers.

HOW THE FUCKY?!

A mandatory class. A mandatory class which you essentially need to complete the semester. A one time class. Five hours of your life. The class is on October 24, 2012. Your semester ends November 5, 2012. Fucking sounds easy as shit, right?
Your class is cancelled. They tell you five hours before you have the class to make sure you can't get into the others because they're all full.

I'll tell you what that is! TONS OF FUN. It's also kind of wack.

So should I just drop out now, or walk out wih my pants down, my hands in the air, asking, "WHO WANT IT!"?

WORST.

Having the most terrible day ever, might I quickly add before I head out the door. I have to get this quick rant in so I can actually breathe tonight. Didn't get the placement I wanted, got told I was trying to make myself something I'm not, CRANKY as fuckskies, my phone battery broke, told I was dressed inappropriately, a 92% final grade in a class is no good to my Asian mother (I don't even study mom, cut me a break!), criticized for being a vegetarian today, dunno why my blog html is getting all fucky, out of smokes, lost $40.00, missing a lot of my friends. LOVELY LONER BOTCHEEZY WHO CAN'T FUCKING HANDLE WHAT'S ON HER PLATE RIGHT NOW. HAND ME A PILLOW TO SCREAM IN, PLEASE.

Hi. Heading to rum paradise now. Oh, alcohol. You silly, silly, terrible, lovely, so yum yum, vice.

Have a good weekend, as I attempt to let my week go, I wish you adieu.

Wrote this in five. Enjoy.

OKAY A FEW MORE.

Cuz I have fifteen minutes before I head out the door:)

YOU SHOULD WATCH THIS.

LIFE!

I know I owe a picture post, AND I WILL DO THAT! SORRYSORRYSORRY.

Here's a snap from a night with one of my fave ladies.



Hope that can hold ya for a bit! XOXO!

OH HEY, IT'S ME BOTCH.

You may remember me from such blogs as, my livejournal.. or .. this one; which I have neglected a lot for the past few. I have no good reason, either. I mean, I have been in school, but it's not like I've been studying my ass off or anything. Quite the contrary as of late, actually.
I'm super tired. It must be that whole winter creep. As soon as I get home, I just want to go to bed. Waking up is extremely difficult.. but blah blah. First world problems.
Thanksgiving just passed. I'm Canadian, we get ours early. It was our first without Anthony. Every year, it's tradition we gather around the table and take turns saying what we're thankful for. No one was really into it this year. It was really sad. Everyone felt it, but no one said anything for a long while. Then after our dinner, there was a huge piece of cake left, and I asked who it was for. "That's for Anthony!", my cousin shot at me. It was sweet, lovely, but made me cry all over the place. We ended up carving an "A" into the icing.
Ugh, I miss him so much. I came across a picture from a concert we went to last December, he was in the background, smiling his ass off. Looking mad geeked out. I wanted to place myself back at that moment and give him the biggest hug, and tell him how much fun I was having. Super bummed. I don't even want to think about Christmas. He always gave out the best gifts, and always wrapped in newspaper. Last year he got me a Wu-Tang record and a batman tee. YOU GUYS. It's still, not, real.
I know together we're moving forward, but I feel a lot of that is because we have to. I just fucking miss you, dude. I miss you so much. Don't ever take small moments like concerts with your fave people for granted.

Saturday was a friend's birthday where he wanted everyone to dress up (formally vintage). I don't understand people who show up to theme parties not themed. Especially if you knew about it beforehand. I mean, if you're randomly showing up because you heard about it, or coming from work, fine. But the whole "too cool" to participate is all sorts of silly to me. Regardless it was super fun. Conversations with strangers and wine make for excellent Saturdays.

Deadlines and tests and exams are hitting me from all directions. One of my e-mail accounts is on lock and I have a shit load of things just cyberly milling around until I can re-access them.

It's cold out now, and tea and soup are my current boyfriend.

My mom rules.

And there's your life update.

Thanks for stopping by. Xo.

UNF.

How things should be.

"ME" TIME.

I just wanna be better than good enough.

Beautiful loser.

JESSICA MOMENTS.

There's a girl in my class named Jessica, I don't know if it's because we're both Capricorns or if we're both just weird.. but I seriously think she may be at least one of the top ten funniest people I have ever met.. and because of that, I'd like to share with you, some Jessica moments.

Jessica: "I don't know Botch, maybe we should go into paramedics, because I look really good in fluorescent yellow."

Rach: *throws garbage toward garbage can but misses.*
Jessica: : "OOOH, white girl can't jump."

Jessica: "I threw away all my toe socks, my toenails just cut holes in them."

Prof: "And today we are starting Unit G."
Jessica: "G-g-g-g-g-g-G-UNIT!"

Til next time.

I MIGHT LET MY CREW BANG, MY CREW DEEPER THAN WU-TANG.

Right now, I'm just trying to do my own thing. Trying to focus on myself and whatever makes me happy. I'm going places and trying to keep pushing. I'm trying to get everything back in order, because since March, everything's been all over the place. I'm organizing my life to the best of my ability. I will always remember the people who doubted me. Always. Whoever's with me is with me, who isn't, isn't.

Credentials or not. That's it.

It's the freaking weekend baby, about to have me some fun. Doot doot.

FRIDAY, FRIDAY, GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY,

"Older posts" for more.

IF EVER ANYONE DOUBTS YOU, KEEP GOING.

STUFF THAT HAPPENED TODAY..

I woke up at 7:45 AM. My alarm was set for 5 AM. I couldn't stop hitting the snooze. It was set for 5 AM so I could study for a final I had at 9 AM. Worst case scenario. Got stuck in traffic. A girl yelled at me, "What is your problem, bitch?!". Goodness, it's Friday, lady. Calm down. When I went to Tim Horton's to grab a coffee, a bird pooped on my arm. I walk into class at 9:20, 20 minutes late.. but eureka! I mixed my classes up, which meant my actual final was at 1:00 PM.
Ended up writing my final, with a final grade of 92%. Like a boss, that's how we do. I had a piece I had to write in another class so I went to go write it. I figured since the piece was from a Wednesday class, no one would be in the classroom. I scanned my card and entered. TO A FULL CLASS LECTURE. Oops. "Well, by the looks of it, I assume everything is going good here." I said nervously as I backed out the door. A few laughs helped the embarrassment. Headed to the lounge to kill time until that class was over and I could finally do work. "Accepted" was playing so I finished it. Not enough time was killed and the feeling of getting work done had left me and so I decided to go home. Saw a guy humping a lamp. Got a green tea frapp. These are the random details of a Friday.

New blog looking.. few glitches. I'm working on them! Xoxo.
- Botcheezy

CAMPING WITH MY FAVORITES!

"Older posts" for MOREMOREMORE.

EAT EM UP FOREVER.

THE WORK HARD LONG WEEKEND FAIL.

I knew it was going to happen, you know? I mean, I knew this all on Thursday. Sure, good Botch was all, "You have the entire weekend to work, don't freak out." but bad Botch was all, "You're not going to do shit.". I have done shit. I have! I have edited a piece and sent it, and I did study. Although, all of said work was kind of a half ass attempt on doing real solid work til your eyes collapse type work.
I tell myself not to do "fun" things like partying or indulging because then I'd feel guilty for not working.. but then I do things that are still procrastinating.. like watching youtube videos. SURE, it's not as bad as going to party for five hours, but it is still five hours wasted. So, what's really right?

I'm like super tired right now and just want to sleep; except I'm not sure if I want to sleep because I'm actually tired, or if I want to sleep because I want to avoid the lengthy list of "GET SHIT DONE YOU OUT OF WACK SLORE!". Slore, I chose slore.

Good Botch is all, "Work for an hour then wake up and work all day.". Bad Botch is all, "YOU HAVE THE ENTIRE DAY TOMORROW! Go listen to that new mixtape".

I have like a bunch of e-mails from people asking me to review their tapes. I don't know when I became a mixtape connoisseur but it's something I'm slowly adjusting to. I'm not mad at the fact, I'm completely flattered by the love.. Really! My opinion matters to people! Soon I'm gonna have so many more friends than just internet friends!

Kidding. I just feel like I don't have the tools to handle everything in the timely fashion I would like to.. at this point and time anyway. That's my fault.

I went from partying every day to a full plate of tasks every day, and the transition is beyond me. I'm not even as busy as I'm making myself out to be, I could be way busier. However, the amount of busy is a little more than I'm used to and I find every excuse to take tasks from yesterday and then add them on to today. Now I sit here in yester-yester-yester-yester-yesterday's tasks, and yo. I want to shove all of them to tomorrow.

Who wants to work when you could lay in bed and look at your fingers move, thinking, "This is me. I am actually moving my finger. I can make it move up. Down. HOLY SHIT THE HUMAN BODY IS SO CRAZY! I can't believe I can do all this shit!". Yeah. You know.

Tomorrow Botch is going to want to come to right now Botch and slap her right across the fuckin' mouth and I am so not even caring right now. Tomorrow Botch is going to be on Redbull, pulling her hair out, wishing she had her ass in gear this long weekend. Tomorrow Botch, I'm so sorry.

STUFF I GOOGLE

Isn't Google funny? It's absolutely crazy to me that in this day and age, we refer to a search engine for EVERYTHING. Seriously, everything. I don't even remember what life was like using an actual map, or trying a restaurant before a review. How did we find out about albums?! It's all so hazy.

There are however, also the times you're drunk with your friends, the vodka has gotten to all of your heads, you're at some Chinese restaurant at 4am, post-party, and someone says "Yo, google 'dwarf bunnies' for a sec.". That's where this idea derived from. That, and the utter fear of my Google history being read out loud one day. I need to beat the odds and embarrass myself before someone else does it.

I'm keeping a log of everything I Google from here on in. I don't plan on giving any explanation, because I think initial reaction will prove to be quite comedic, however, if you really want to know, ask. I'll most certainly tell the story. So, with that said, as of late, here's some stuff I Google'd:

- Pablo Escobar
- racketeering
- Atmosphere question that lyrics
- puck bunny
- seven deadly sins
- how did they make nicholson smile joker
- what is professional biking called fast
- the inventor of straws
- can dogs get STDs
- songs to sex to
- dwarf bunnies
- tennis riot
- golf riot
- David Fustino
- Marschino cherries
- stature

I SHOULD BE WRITING RIGHT NOW,

Yes. I should be. Here are the steps I usually take to begin working: Grab my to-do list. Grab writing utensils, and a highlighter for edits. (I write with ink and a notebook, always). Well, now that that is taken care of, I must set up some tunes. Gather music. Okay. Sit down, time to get to it.. Let me just check my e-mails. Okay, that's over. Time for the essentials. A cigarette (which I always have before I begin). Well, I'm smoking inside, gotta get up and open the windows. Oh, and fuck, light a candle. Okay, now we can smoke. Okay now let's write. Wait, I should start brewing some coffee. HOLY FUCK IT'S BEEN THREE HOURS?! WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING..?! So, instead of writing.. I call my brother, and say, "I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WHY, WRITE, WHY, READ, CAN'T, WHY!!!??", and he replies with, "You're the lazy college meme.". WHAT'S THIS?! A LAZY COLLEGE MEME?! Must. Google. Hi.





Hehe, he's so on point.

DEAR FACEBOOK TIMELINE,

Hey, timeline. You're un-organized. People can see all my embarrassing moments from the past, they're supposed to work for that. Your boxes don't even line up. My eyes don't know where to look. You probably have no friends. Everyone probably hates you. When you show up to a party, people say, "Fuck, Timeline's here. I'm out.". You probably have a messy room, with a mess that's not even cool. It's probably just receipts and wrappers from un-cool things. You probably listen to Nickelback.

IF YOU ADMIRE SOMEBODY, YOU SHOULD GO AHEAD AND TELL 'EM. PEOPLE NEVER GET THE FLOWERS WHILE THEY CAN STILL SMELL 'EM."

- KANYE WEST.

ON BEING A SMOKER.

Quit that evil glare. I've been ridiculed and lectured quite enough on this filthy habit, and if there's one thing I know, it's smoking is bad for you. We know that. All smokers know that. Quitting can easily be pictured in my future. I just haven't given the option a real effort. I'll give you 5 reasons why.

1. I GET BORED.
I thoroughly enjoy the oral fixation of it. Flicking a cigarette, the feeling of holding it, lighting it. It's a habit. A dirty one, if you may, but this habit has made hours feel like minutes.

2. IT'S SOCIAL.
I'd say at least, 40% of my friends, I have met through a cigarette. That 40% does not include the 7 minute friends. For you non-smokers, the universal time for a cigarette is seven minutes. The conversation you can have with a stranger in seven minutes would really surprise you non-smoking wussies. Sorry for calling you wussies. Kind of.

3. THE MEAL EQUATION.
After a meal, smoking a cigarette really helps. When you're really full, it grabs each food item and places them somewhere where you don't feel as full.

4. THE BOSS EQUATION.
When you're angry and you have a cigarette, people do not want to fuck with you.

5. THE GET OUT EXCUSE.
When you're not feeling a conversation, a person, or you just don't know what to say anymore.. going for a smoke is your perfect get away escape.

"Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it thousands of times." - Mark Twain.

I read an article where the writer said something like, "Every pack I open is 20 more opportunities to quit, I just haven't used one". Couldn't have said it better myself. Belmonts for life, brah.

Those judgements? I feel them. They're easily thrown away though. One inhale at a time.

END OF SUMMER BLUR.

DRAGG.

THE WARM UP VOLUME 1

I was approached to check out this tape by a dude from the UK. Borrowing Cole's "The Warm Up", title, he goes by the name of Dragg, aka Sean S. Bumping it now. Simple beats, production is decent. I can definitely see dude having girls in the club going. "Visions" is the best song on the tape.
Hope we get to see dude grow!

The track listing goes as follows:
01 - Hypnotized (prod. by Flawless Tracks)
02 - Get It Got It Good Rmx (ft. Ekko, Millyz and Newz Tha Don)(Prod. by FranchiseBeats)
03 - Gettin Warmed Up Freestyle (Prod. by The Presidentz)
04 - Gettin Paper (ft. Newz Tha Don)
05 - Last Hope
06 - In The Morning (ft. Joy Bacerdo)
07 - Take You Out (ft. Amandi Music) (Prod. by J-Rum)
08 - Like This (Prod. by Dat Boi D)
09 - Dream Chaser
10 - Bring Em Out (Prod. by FranchiseBeats)
11 - Hustler's Mind State (ft. Rod) (Prod. by FranchiseBeats)
12 - Visions (Prod. by Grizzlys Beatz)

You can grab the tape for free: HERE.

IT'S OVER, DON'T YOU BELIEVE, IT'S OVER.

How did I get here without feeling anything? Stay true, see it through, they say. Tick tock, time just slips away.. and when the air is clear, the way I go is the way I feel.. I'll go away, I'll go away, I'll go my own way.. This is my anthem. I know it like I know everything. I see it everywhere and in everyone. It's complication, it's validation.

- MNDR.

QUICKY..

Well, all of those photo posts oughta keep you busy! I am leaving the city and it's back to school baby.. so look at those pics slowly because it will be hard for me to blog the next little bit, BUT I WILL TRY.
Apologies for the rushed entries. I know I haven't been up to par lately.. but I promise good things to come! Xoxo my lovelies! Goodbye Winnipeg. Helloooo college:( WAH!

FULL FLEX EXPRESS.

FOLK FEST!

CANADA DAY FUN.

PHOTO FRIDAY

THE SUMMER TIME OVER ANY TIME EDITION PART 2!

CLICK TIGHTER THAN A PACK OF BELLYS.

PHOTO FRIDAY

THE SUMMER TIME OVER ANY TIME EDITION PART 1!