BECAUSE THE INTERNET..

EAT EM UP.

HEEEELLLOOO..

I'm fucking exhausted, forever, aren't I?!

Totes becoming my mom.

Work-a-holic. 7 days a week.

What is life.

I want ice cream.

I'm an old baba.

I turn my phone on silent a lot now cuz I'm like shhhh, no. It's sleepy beddy times, talk to me never. Even when I'm not sleeping yet.

OH CUZZO.

I was on a Montreal bus with this song playing in my headphones, on loop. It had just dropped, and made me so sad, in an appreciative way. I was on a Montreal bus with this song playing in my headphones when I got a text message that my cousin had passed.

Santigold came on in the car today, and I completely lost it. Some how it placed me on a bus in Montreal and I hated it. It's still not fair.

I don't believe in God like when I was little, but if you exist in any universe, any dimension, any world, or if any particle was taken by the wind or the rain, I swear.. part of that comes to me whenever I hear this song. Miss you, you fuckin' punk. Life sucks without you. Life fuckin' sucks, and I wish you were here to tell me to shut up.

GAMBINOGAMBINOGAMBINO.

There is something so beautiful about Gambino. This man has so much talent. I haven't listened to "Because the Internet" yet. I don't personally iTune, and I refuse to listen to it until a hard copy is in my hands. With the exception of "3005", of course. I'm terrified to listen to it. I mean, the whole Instagram thing, the whole depression thing, the whole suicide and drugs thing makes me teeerrified. I won't not listen to it, though, because I'm also just as insanely excited.. As much as I'm expecting this album to be dark, I'm also expecting it to be an honest masterpiece.
I also hope, that Gambino can find himself again, and enjoy his work. I've always thought that multi-talented intellects find themselves depressed because they know too much. They see too much bad, and see too much good. They seem to have escaped the blindfolds we all put on.

Anyways, this freestyle kicks butt and so does he and please buy his album, and if he ever quits music or acting or writing or film-making or producing or stand-up, then for fuck's sake, support that too. Do you Gambino, you're the best at whatever you decide.. and if "Because the Internet" ever ends up being the last thing you create, I'll be sad but thankful. You the man, dawg.

KORELESS - MTI (TWRK REMIX)

This song is delicious. All kinds of sexy for this one. Oh lawd.
Twrk, Koreless, ugh! Gah! Something! So great!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CUZ.

CHILDISH GAMBINO - 3005 (VIDEO)

Pick your poison.

Excuse me.

I want to drown in this man. Seriously soak it all up and just, ugh. Yes. Best. Two vids for one song?! Yes please.

Let's not forget Abella Anderson.


We see you, girl.

Bye.

SUPER SAD TODAY.

The winter blues are seriously getting to me. I'm so emotional. Up down. Up. Down. Down. Down. Up. Up. Up down. I'm going to try and get back on regular sleeping hours and hopefully that will help. Ugh whatever, I'm so sad I don't even care right now. Sleep is stupid. I love sleep. What are these.

It's probably like super cool right now to be sad anyways. I'm like totally trending.

Just wanna be a loner loser for the week.
Loner loser is sometimes my favesies.

What does it all mean though.

WESTJET BEING AWESOME.

This is the best.

IT'S COLD.

It's so cold out, that your eyelashes get ice crystals on them once you're outside, then they stick together. Your scarf has ice on it from your breath and turns damp once you get inside. As soon as you approach your destination you think, "I CAN'T CARRY ON, I WON'T MAKE IT". Your thighs sting, you can't feel your feet, and your hands are useless..

This weather has definitely put me in hibernation mode. I haven't been partying, I've stayed sober for more than a month now. Which is cool, everyone needs a break sometimes.. but I am so fucking bored. I want to go out and listen to good music and high five all my friends, now I don't necessarily need alcohol to do that, but my schedule hasn't even allowed it. I'm tired at 10 pm. I've been working six days a week. The errand list never gets finished.

How much do I complain about this?! Haha. Prolly too much. Listen, I'm not super mad about it. I'm just a little exhausted. I never feel like you should party unless you worked hard to deserve it. Partying is a reward. It's a break from the hard work. Unless you're like, constantly getting belligerent and doing drugs and stuff, then you should just go get a job and organize yourself.

Wow, this entry is going to so many places. What was my point?

Oh yeah, it's cold and stuff, so I'm in hiding mode.. but I miss y'all and will appear soon. Keep a beer cold for me. Thanks byyyyyeeeeeee!

I HAVE THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON THIS GUY.

Oh, Mikey Bolts. Marry me.

UMMMM..

The things she's saying though.

FLACCO - TOP FLOOR RESIDENCE

UNF.

RANDOM CHILDHOOD MEMORY #1:

I remember being sick a lot as a kid. I dunno if I was sick all the time, or if sick memories just stick out more because they're different than an ordinary day and have certain specifics about them. Anyway..

MEGA GROSS ALERT!!
It was winter, I had the flu. I was in the back seat of the family car. My mom in the passenger, my dad the driver, and my brother beside me. I wasn't feeling too sick; in the sense that I don't recall being too hot, or too stuffy, but I suddenly had the urge to vomit. Christmas music was blaring, and my mom and dad kept giving each other these glances and smiles during their conversation. Small chuckles and Christmas hit my ears but all I could hear was my mind saying "Don't puke!". Then. It came up.
It was small, and I didn't open my mouth. It was foamy type phlegm, and not a whole lot. I just, kept it there. Inside of my mouth. I knew I couldn't puke in the car and there wasn't a garbage can in sight, so I decided to wait until we got home.
The Christmas songs and laughter continued. I had this phlegm foam puke in my mouth and couldn't wait to spit it out. Then my dad asked, "Why are you so quiet?".
"Behcuase I Pahuked", I replied. I placed the puke foam at the back of my mouth to try and reply, anyway. The words came out like my mouth was stuffed with food, and the words muffled and foamy. That was enough. I swallowed, and answered again. "Because I puked."
"What?!", he asked.
"Because I puked", I replied casually.
"Well, where did you puke?"
"In my mouth. I swallowed it", another casual response.
"WHAT?! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO SWALLOW IT!"

Then my brother just laughed and laughed. I knew I had it in my mouth because I was being a good girl. You know, not puking all over the place, doing grown up deeds. After explanations from my parents telling me that it was okay for them to pull over if I had to puke, I realized, hey, it's cool. You're still being a grown up by letting the rents know you need to puke. And also, don't swallow it for some reason. Grown ups don't like that.

THE STAGES OF MENSTURAL CYCLE FEELINGS.

THE WEEK BEFORE THE PERIOD:
Man, I'm seriously getting fat. Am I pregnant?!

FOUR DAYS-ISH BEFORE THE PERIOD:
OMFG I HATE EVERYTHING. WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?! WHERE IS MY CAREER GOING?! That fucking girl just stared me down. Who does she think she is?! Nice skirt there, girl. Yeah, more like NOT-SKIRT. Haha. I'm hilarious. I'm so sad. I need to cry. *cries*. I'm not good enough for this world. WHY AM I SO FAT?!

TWO DAYS-ISH BEFORE THE PERIOD:
I have the weirdest craving for a grilled cheese with ice cream. I'M GOING TO EAT EVERYTHING, FUCKA GYM AND A DIET.

THE DAY OF THE PERIOD:
PRAAISE EVERYTHING I AM NOT PREGNANT!

THE SECOND DAY OF THE PERIOD:
Everything hurts. Why is my pelvis stabbing my stomach with a sword?! I'm going to bed and never leaving. My boobs. Oh geeze, my boobs. My boobs don't fit in my bra, that's great. Let's just let these weights of pain take over the day, great. Mega excite. Ugh. Hate you.

THE THIRD DAY OF THE PERIOD:
Pant check. Ok, phew I'm good. Did I take out my last tampon!? Shit. Did I?! Get your food away from me, it smells awful. So horny. Where is my water?! So thirsty. DAMN THESE SWORDS.

THE FOURTH-FIFTH-ISH DAY OF THE PERIOD:
Almost home baby, almost home.

EVERY OTHER DAY:
I hope I'm not pregnant.

BOYFRIENDS.

New fave song. Wow. This is super catchy. Jenna showcasing some talent. Geeze. I love her. And um, probably going to be singing this all day at work tomorrow since I literally just watched it for the fourth time.

BAOW.

This is so much better than the original. What was with the original anyway?! Dry hump city, lawd.

CHLOE NORGAARD.

Hey Chloe, can we hang out?

Tippi, vous sont les plus gentils, précieux petite fille.

WE DESERVE TO SEE A RANGE.

Love these guys.... Ha, I mean gals. Way to go GoldieBlox.

WE ALL WORK.

HEY.

THIS WEEK ON NETFLIX..

Um.. shocker. This movie has a great soundtrack. Why is this movie poster in Spanish?! That's a great question folks, I just noticed that. SORRY. But whatever, no spoilers. I liked this. So watch it so we can talk about it.

GONE ALL THE TIME, EVEN THE IMPORTANT TIMES.

What happened to his voice? I confuse.

THESE CONVERSATIONS.

"You mean you're going to have your birthday on Valentine's Day?!"
"Yeah!"
"Will anyone even go to that?!"
"Not with that attitude."

SUNSHINE AWARD.

I have been nominated for the Sunshine award by Joanne White!

I think this is more of a blog tag than an actual award, but regardless, I am flattered and will participate. Who wouldn't cater to the fans in England?! Of course I will.

The Rules
I will share 11 facts about myself, then I will answer 11 questions that were set by the blogger that nominated me. I will then think of 11 more questions and nominate 11 bloggers to answer them (post them in the comments box!) and I will inform them that I have nominated them.

11 FACTS ABOUT MYSELF:
1. I'm really shy about anything I do/complete, and it's hard to find the confidence to share my work.
2. I'm a smoker.
3. I have a birthmark on my right elbow.
4. NaS is my favorite rapper.
5. I think my mom is the greatest person around.
6. I love pizza more than the internet does.
7. I have never had a pedicure.
8. I enjoy receiving hand-made items more than material things.
9. I am an extremely loud person.
10. I interrupt people a lot, and I'm working on controlling it.
11. Hip hop runs my life.

THE QUESTIONS JO HAS ASKED ME:
1.What is your favourite animal?
ELEPHANTS!
2. What is your favourite bath/shower product?
This a toughy, I don't really have a go to, and use everything. I've never had a bath product I've really "stuck" to. Whatever gets the job done.
3. What is your favourite movie?
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
4. What is your 'go to' item of clothing?
My jean jacket.
5. What was your bargain of the year?
I recently purchased a garter off etsy for $25 that I had seen at boutiques for $70. ETSY ALWAYS WINS.
6. What is your favourite item for the winter?
Beanies. Beanies. Beanies.
7. Can you say the alphabet backwards?
I had to try this, and was pretty un-successful. It took a lot of pauses to think.
8. Where in the world do you live?
Central Canada! Waddup!
9. What is your favourite word?
Duotang.
10. Who was your inspiration to start a blog?
My mom.
11. What phone case do you have on your phone at the moment?
My phone doesn't have a case and is scratched to shit.

MY NOMINEES:
Perla, Devonaire, De, Desertedcarparks, Kristin, life is art, paceys plumage, i-nikkol
I clearly broke this rule by not nominating 11 bloggers, but am out of time and have to go grocery shopping :P

MY QUESTIONS:
1. HI, how you doing?
2. What was your worst date ever?
3. What's your favorite Science fact?
4. If you could travel back into time, what time period would you choose?
5. What is one thing you believe in that you wish more people would believe in?
6. What is the longest length of time you've slept?
7. What's one thing you'd be ashamed of people knowing?
8. How often do you shower?
9. What is one goal you wish to complete by the end of this year?
10. What is one goal you wish to complete by the end of your lifetime?
11. What's your favorite blog?

Happy blogging, bloggers!
Xo,

Botch

BEDTIME.

"IT HURTS TO WATCH LUCY LOSE THE DREAM. I'VE HAD THE PLEASURE OF SEEING OUR HERO KICK AND SCREAM, AND WHEN SHE CALMS DOWN, I'LL TURN THE SOUND DOWN, AND PUT MY ARMS AROUND THE LITTLE LOST AND FOUND AND I'LL TELL HER THAT, 'I WILL SHOW YOU ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW, YOU MUST HOLD ON TO ANYONE THAT WANTS YOU, AND I WILL LOVE YOU, THROUGH SIMPLE AND THE STRUGGLE, BUT GIRL YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND THE MODERN MAN MUST HUSTLE."

- SLUG.

I just want to drink some beer and eat some pizza.

Can we do that?

Let's do that.

SEARCHING FOR..

Silence. I rested my head on the inside of my arm. The blood passing through my veins sounded like a faint heartbeat. The ceiling fan spun, sending what sounded like a rake scraping pavement down toward my eardrums. The tears dripped from my cheek, making my arm wet. The sheets rustled as I changed positions to stop it. The tiny voices in my head were screaming at each other. Each team looking for their own, wrong, and right. Each corner turned out empty. The wind blew against the window, ghouls and ghosts of mother nature, taunting the tiny voices.
Maybe I'm not here. Maybe I've disappeared. Into a land of nothingness, into a fortress built by tiny voices, and scrapes, and rustles, and ghosts, into.... numb? We're here. I'm numb.
Find yourself. "FIND YOURSELF!", I tell the tiny voices in my head. Maybe if you circle back to yesterday. Ugh no, not yesterday, that is where the heart is from. Try going forward. Take a left once you reach vitality and catch your breath. Take a second, catch your breath. Jesus Christ, why can't you catch your breath?
It's cold now. I'm wearing my jacket, my sweater, but it's cold now. I'm in the fetal position, but I'm cold, now. I don't mind it. I want to be cold. I hate warmth. I just wish they would stop shouting at me. I don't know where the right or wrong is, why can't they hear me? Why do they ignore my pleas?
My heartbeat slowed and grew louder with every beat. The thumps seemed to be pounding out of my chest. I gripped myself tightly, trying to muffle the pounding but my arms were too weak. I closed my eyes hoping that the inside of my eyelids would help the tiny voices to have less distraction.

Silence.

It has never been this loud.

HALLOWEEN 2013.

Three rounds of Halloween means three Halloween costumes. Hit the jump to see what I was this year!

LOVE IS LOVE.

My parents had that commercial, home-run, movie, romance novel, never fading kind of love. That real real kind of love. They had so much of it, they were able to share it with three kids and a huge collective of nieces and nephews. They are love. And love is love. Today is their wedding anniversary. To honor them, my sister and brother in-law also got married this day. SO MUCH LOVE ON NOVEMBER SECOND! It's also COMIC CON WEEKEND, and HALLOWEEN WEEKEND PART TWO! Hoorah!

WU.

"Botcho is the kind of person who just gets turnt up for no reason, like it's just normal for her. You can't even tell when she's drunk, cuz she's just always turnt."
- Perla Quintana

MY SOUL IS BACK!

Life is sad and people are mean.
The past few days have been crap.
This weather is giving me the blues.
I just wanna be left alone.

I think that's the introvert in me. It's not even that I'm ridiculously sad. I'm just fed up. Everyone wants my help but no one wants to help me. You're not even asking if I need help. Cuz like. I really do. I'm busy.
Cinderelly, Cinderelly. Fuck y'all, I'm hiding under my blanket until this week is over.

If you bring me hot chocolate or pizza, we're cool though.

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO DO STUFF?

Are you like me? Are you never doing laundry and living in a chaotic mess? Are you breaking hearts un-intentionally? Do you get super wasted and wake up the next morning wondering if you're in the right city? Do you lose your debit card/keys/wallet at least once a year? Do you answer your texts hours later, days later? Are you always un-aware of what day it is? Do you forget plans? Do you buy more clothes just because you haven't done laundry? Do you order take out every day and never go to the gym? Do you have un-finished projects? Have you thought up ideas but haven't started them? Are you reading three books at the same time and confusing them? Do you own a black lab? Have you lost your license then found it then lost it again? Have you ever drove a car into the ditch because you were too focused on numbers of an address? Are you un-sure of things? Did you break your glasses a month ago but still haven't gotten new ones? Have you ripped over ten pairs of contacts? Do you change your mind all the time? Are you always judging others while trying to be less judgmental? Do you have back pain all day? Have you completely lost your mind?

WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.. then we've got just the product for you!!




It's called booze. Just give me booze. and maybe some pizza?

THROUGHOUT MY DAY:

*morning time*

I CAN'T GET OUT OF BED WHY IS THE WORLD SO COLD!

*an hour later*

Uggghhh coffeee, pleaseeeee, coffeeee.

*few hours later*

WORK BE OVER SO I CAN SLEEP.

*couple hours later*

Can't sleep now or you'll ruin your sleep cycle, must stay awake.

*interwebz*

Okay totes time for bed.

*dinner, brush teeth, get ready for bed*

WIDE AWAKE.

#thecycle

EXCUSE ME, I'M TRYING TO NAP.

SASHA KEABLE CAN SING.

UNIF.

I wish my entire wardrobe was UNIF. $118.00 for a sweater though, yo. You're paying a hefty penny. Which isn't even THAT hefty. I am a cheap bastard, I like my thrift scores and my cheap shit. Occasionally, I like getting a pricer piece IF I'm absolutely in love with it.. but even then, it's usually paired with the cheapest of the cheap. My closet still has sweaters and leggings that my mom owned in the 80's, that's how much of a cheap fuck I am.
It's taking a lot of effort for me not to buy everything UNIF sells. If ever, ever you see me homeless in a cardboard box, it's because I bought everything from UNIF instead of paying bills and buying food.

For more UNIF click HERE

EKKK EKEKEKEKEKEEEK.

What does the fox say?

I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT MEAT.

I went to Tony Roma's yesterday and was super close to ordering a steak AND ribs. This might not seem like much, but I've been a vegetarian for some odd years now, so yes. It's something. I didn't end up ordering the steak or ribs. But I still think about it. One of my best friends recently had chicken after being a veggie head for over four years, and I don't see her as a failure. I mean, I don't see it as failing. It's a choice. We just chose to eat something, right?

I go through these weird phases/self-contests. I went through a year of cutting out white rice, a three year streak of no pork, a ten year streak of no carbonated drinks. I decided to go with the whole carbonated drinks thing again, with the exception of beer. I don't know why I do these things, it's almost just a test of will power. If I was a complete health nut, I'd probably quit smoking... I haven't.

These inner battles of determination and discipline stem from a place I can't remember.

I think about burgers a lot lately.. but I feel like if I give in, I have to start from square one.

Stay tuned, I might blog a burger, steak, carbonated drink, cigarette break soon......

YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA!

I went to a screening of "The Room" last night. Quite possibly the best worst movie. Full of plot flaws, terrible acting, bad hairstyles and poor green screen shots, led to complete hilarity. I wasn't in the know about the huge following that "The Room" had cultivated.. but oh lawd, watching this was an interactive experience full of "What the fuck?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!". I have never enjoyed a bad movie more than this, so thanks to the amazing people yelling things and throwing spoons and footballs.

This is exactly how the screening was for the entire movie, but if you haven't seen it, do me a favor and DON'T WATCH THIS VIDEO. Watch the movie first (if you get your chance at a screening, do that!!), and then go ahead and watch this. Unless you like spoiler alerts, you weirdo.

I CAN'T BE THAT FOR YOU, AND I'M SORRY.

I've only been in love twice. I've loved three times, but as far as the whole "can't feel my face-just wanna be with you-you're heroin and cocaine-yes you're drugs-head over heels-insane-crazy-beautiful-I want to breathe you-devour myself in all of you-oh lawd can't stop" type of love, yeah. That's only been twice. There's a difference between being in love, and loving someone, and I can't pinpoint exactly what it is, but I'll tell you as much as I think/know. I think the whole loving someone, includes respect, truth, and a whole lot of wanting to spend time with that person. Now, being in love, includes pain, occasional lies, and effort. That's kind of fucked up, isn't it? I mean, shouldn't being in love be as lovely and skip through the field of daisies happy as loving? It isn't.
BUT, once you've been in love. The feeling is so over-powering that it's hard to let go of, no matter how tiring it can be at times. However, being in love, and loving, despite their differences, do share a common denominator.. you can't pick it.
Some people talk about love at first sight, which I have never personally experienced. I have started loving and then grown to be in love. It's been a rollercoaster of tears and pain and hurts and fuck you's. The good's though, the good's. The hand holding, and the listening, and the laughing, and the breakfasts and lunches, and days of laying in bed not even talking.. outweigh everything. Being in love requires you be best friends, it requires you to love flaws, it's attraction, and lust, and sex, and hip hop shows, and movies, and the devouring I first opened with.

I can't be that to you, and I'm sorry. I'm working on loving myself right now, and I'm also in love right now. Now, my current relationship is nowhere near perfect, but I believe in it. And after all of.. everything, it's helping me to love myself, and if you can find that, you stick to it.

I'm fully sorry if I ever led you to believe that I could be more than your friend. You were truly one of the nicest, most supportive people to enter my world. Don't doubt that you weren't a part of my world, don't doubt your importance. It existed. You were an amazing friend, and I hate that I was hurting you this whole time.

Conquer the world, explore new restaurants, meet new people, show up at a party, don't ever question what people think of you, just be a good person and I promise everything will go great for you. And the future girl that snags you is so lucky, so stay golden, for yourself and for her.

FAB.

Hom3Grown.

Homie just released the album, get it while it's hot!

HERE.

I haven't listened to it yet, but I'll be sure to talk about it a little more this week, so get your listen in now so we can discuss it later!

HOLY SHIT!

Going to see Chromeo, Dragonette, Childish Gambino and attend a crazy ass yard sale this weekend, what you doin?

IPHONES.

MY ABSOLUTE FAVE EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW.

Full album stream, you should do! Listen! Check! Study to this! Work to this! Dance to this! Dishes to this! Kiss to this! Cuddle to this! Run to this! Write to this! Paint to this! THIS RIGHT HERE

LATCHING ON TO YOU.

I'M SO ENCAPTURED, GOT ME WRAPPED UP IN YOUR TOUCH. FEEL SO ENAMORED, HOLD ME TIGHT WITHIN YOUR CLUTCH. HOW DO YOU DO IT, YOU GOT ME LOSING EVERY BREATH. WHAT DID YOU GIVE ME TO MAKE MY HEART BEAT OUT MY CHEST?

Now I've got you in my space, I won't let go of you. Got you shackled in my embrace, I'm latching on to you.

SHE'S MORPHING.

alt-J - Breezeblocks

THE FAVOR MONSTER.

I have this huge issue with people who ask for handouts all the time. Especially when they get pissy when you say "no" one time. Friendship is so easy. It's fun, it's timeless, it's hilarious, and if it isn't, then it's time to re-evaluate. If you get upset when someone doesn't say "yes" to your favor, look at yourself. Do you ask people to do things all the time?! Do you need help moving? Do you need to borrow a few bucks?! Are you cleaning out your garage?! Do you need a ride?! Installing a new entertainment unit?! BUT CAN'T FIND HELP ANYWHERE?! WELL CONGRATULATIONS! You just won the title of the "FAVOR MONSTER"! Your prize includes an all-inclusive stay at being an asshole and having no friends forever!

Seriously. If you find yourself in a hole, you shouldn't have to beg for it. Shit, you should even have people offering you a helping hand without you asking! If you don't, it's because you're a prick.

How about a slice of pizza or a "thank you" for fucking once?! Gawd.
I give my help to those that deserve it and are there for me, you can move on with your favors, I am not answering.

JUST KEEP SHINING.

If someone who didn't know me asked me what life was like, I'd say, "I work my ass off then mellow out and have solo dance parties at music festivals a lot". This one I attended with my grandma, she didn't mind the naked people all over the place, and she loved my pink boots. So I really know where my inner music hippie came from.

An eclectic mix of music. Bluegrass, reggae, electronic, hip hop, rock. A little poppy, but worth every cent. $25 for a weekend?! Not to mention my uncle put on an excellent firework show!

More deets after the jump.

I DIDN'T WATCH THE VMA'S.

I don't have cable. I watched the N'Sync performance though.. as well as the Miley(?) Cyrus(?) Robin(?) Thick(?) performance(?).

That many question marks were included because I have that many questions. What the fuck was that?! I was un-aware that a band-aid could stick their tongue out that much.



Miley was like they took a drunk girl out of the audience and said "hey, go ahead". If it was a drunk girl, everyone would be all roar, but because this was a celebrity who has had some formal celebrity training, everyone sat there stone faced questioning their religions and if buying an outfit for the vma's was really a contender against pajamas and some ice cream.
Miley was like when you have the flu on your birthday.
Miley was like trying on the last pair of amazing shoes on at a store, and they're your size but for some reason a weird fit and don't fit you right.
Miley was like an old lady's thong showing.
Miley was like vomit from a night of excessive drinking, that you found in the morning because you forgot to flush it.
Miley was like getting an invitation to a wedding when you hate the couple getting married.
Miley was that neighbor that follows your "Okay nice talking to you.." with "Just one more thing...." and continues for a half hour.
Miley was like getting pants'd by a stranger and you were wearing your mom's underwear.
Miley was like gluing your toes together then stepping on shards of glass and falling into a pit of fire, only surviving an extra five minutes to watch that VMA performance.

Isn't like Robin Thicke, way older?! Most awkward performance of all time. Me super confuse. Someone tell this girl she most certainly CAN stop, and should.

Thanksies!

WHEN WILL ASHER RUN OUT OF FLOW!?

Gee whiz this guy has rhymes for days.

BASKETBALL STEREOTYPES.

THE SUPPLY OF BAD QUOTES NEVER RUNS OUT.

I was just on Facebook and this girl posted a picture of a shitty burned scroll with text of the following quote: "Tattoos are like stories, they symbolize important parts of your life".

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

WAIT! It gets better! Two people actually "liked" this bull shit timeline photo. I just realized I said a couple of posts ago I was trying to gossip less, does this count as gossip?! UGH FUCK I CAN'T HELP IT.

These simple-minded fucks are just too dumb for me. Like, REALLY, worst simile of all time. Also, did this piece of shit scroll illustration really hit you? Really inspire you to go, "Yeah *smiles* tattoos really are, I need to share this"?! Most tattoos are crap, or jokes, or yes they do mean something, but that quote does not represent anything remotely close to inspirational or moving.

So with that being said, here's a list of shitty quotes I'm making up. If you guys know of any illustrators to make these pieces of crap go viral, let's all contribute to making the internet worse. I mean, fuck, everyone else is doing it.

"Sometimes, break-ups hurt, but so do knee scrapes, and we get over those."

"Today might be cloudy, but the sun is somewhere."

"Friends are like popsicles, they're good."

"Puppies are best friends to humans because they have puppy hearts."

"You have to bake the cake before you eat it. Life."

"Trust is like paper, once it's ripped, it's ripped."

Do you have any shitty quotes to share?! Let's all laugh together!

Remember when I was super obsessed with Disclosure?!

Or Kid Cudi.. or Nas.. or Phoenix.. or MGMT.. or Hot Chip.. or okay wait.. I'm still obsessed with all of these artists.. BUT.. may I introduce the song I've been listening to on loop for days.. FOR REALLY REAL. Ugh, Lorde is my new obsession, and this song is music perfection.

Enjoy.



LORDE - The Love Club (live)

THIS SHIT IS WEIRD. IT'S GOOD.

FKA twigs - Water Me

SO FUCKING BUSY.

I'm so busy, my head might fall off. I'm not totally freaking out, a normal person probably would. My list of tasks exceeds the length of time I have to complete them, but I feel like if I have a panic attack now, I'm going to lose time, so I'm refraining.
I won't say no to any favors. If you'd like to clean my room, do my laundry/dishes, mow my lawn, attempt this paper, answer my e-mails, change over some forms, go to work for me, re-html my blog, copy edit these stories/poetry, or make my phone calls for me, I'll kindly accept.

I've always been the girl to say "yes" to anything anyone asks me, now everyone's getting pissy because I'm giving out a few "no"'s. Y'all can suck it, assholes. Fuck you, and your shirt, lame ass.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE, SOMEONE HELP ME.

Oh. What? Sorry. Was that a mini panic attack?! My apologies, let me return back to my meditation and always chaotic zen mode.

DELL VS. THE IPAD.

SPOILER ALERT: So I don't have cable. I cancelled it months ago because everything I watch is on the internet anyway. So, with that being said, I don't get too many commercials in my life. It only happens when I'm at someone's place. When I would be watching something on my own, I either fast-forward commercials, mute them (commercials are louder than whatever you're watching), or I take a snack/pee/dance break.
Today, I saw this commercial. BRILLIANT. ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BRILLIANT. Can we get these suits to come throw down for my blog?! PLEASE, represent me. I haven't seen a commercial this great since.. fuck, um.. when?! This commercial made me laugh so hard, and I can't help but applaud the marketing geniuses behind it. Good show, lads.

HIGH SCHOOL AS AN ADULT.

I left high school a long time ago, well, reality high school.

But really, you never leave high school. College was almost exactly like high school, except you *kinda* study more 'cause you're paying for it. Lunch is still the same, you still have the mains that you hang out with. You still judge everybody, and have everyone judge you. After college, work. Work is the same. Lunch is still "clique-y".

I have this one girl who I say good morning to, literally every morning. She feeds me monotone greetings, sometimes not even looking up.
People "try" to be nicer, maybe, but they're really not.

We're still sucking up to the "cool" people, we're still judging everybody, we're still gossiping.

I've made a real effort this year to try and gossip less, and sometimes I feel the need to gossip, just to fit in.. but fuck that noise.
That shit is super childish, so why is growing up so hard?

Everyone around me is getting married and having kids and buying houses, yet they're up in my ear like, "UGH CAN'T STAND THAT BITCH!", yelling their good morning's to the same broad ten minutes later. There's a difference between being civil, and being fake. Being civil is acknowledging the feelings you have for people, and expressing them in the most adult, mature way possible.

I can't change everybody, shit I probably can't change anybody, but if I fully show myself, and make an effort.. just maybe we can become acquaintances, and in 25 years, I've learned that's much easier than holding the hate down.

Tomorrow, I'm going to say good morning to the same girl again. My good morning's will continue to get louder and more cheerful. I hold absolutely nothing against this girl, so kill 'em with kindness. You'll learn to love me. JUST WAIT FOR IT, I HAVE SOOO MANY JOKES.

BLERGH.

MY LONG WEEKEND SUCKED.

And I would give anything for some ice cream and friends right now.

HEY.

LONELY LONERS.

GIGGIDY GIGGIDY GOO.

HI!

Well!

I'm a almost a month behind in deadlines for my writing jobs.
I don't sleep much on weekdays and because of this, I sleep all day on the weekends.
I've had a slurpee almost every day for a week and some how lost five pounds.
I'm kind of messed up sometimes, and weird, always.
A lot of people hate me, and I'm still shining.
I don't know what I want or where I'm going and my room's a mess.
Dyed my hair purple.

Just keep swimming.

AND WHEN SWIMMING FAILS, shop.

LEONARDOOOO.

Two reasons why Leonardo DiCaprio is my favorite actor of all time:

Reason number one

Reason number two

The Wolf of Wall Street Official Trailer

I accidentally saw this trailer when watching World War Z. Um. Why is Leo the man?! This is why. Best trailer of all time.

THE BROKE & THE COOL.

CC gave us a new one this week, and isn't it refreshing? Take this summer soother and bump it to cool yourselves down. Yum yum. CCL$ are bringing the hip hop we miss so much to the table and every time I get a new sound from them, my day is a little bit better. You can get it for free/stream HERE.

BOOBS.

There's a difference between taking your top off because you're hot (get it ladies!) and taking your top off to get sexual attention.

I am in support of the taking your top off because you're hot notion.

IT'S AS IF..

It's as if everything I've done prior doesn't matter.
I've completely faded from the most important thing to a stranger.

I am not given time to speak, or be heard, or recognized.
Words of praise quickly turned into words of hate.

So many people hoped for this and wanted this.

Immaturity before adult conversation, because my existence should not matter unless I abide to every rule in the life book and never have any thing close to a human mistake/break down/emotion.

Hold everyone else's mistakes in your hands, so that your level of superiority does not leave you.
Grasp tight to the fact that you are perfect, constructed robotically to ensure your entire self-less being is only slightly out-shined by your holistic presence. Hold on to all of that, for the sake of us no good-fuck up-useless-cold-hearted shit bags who have no remorse or regret for the almighty being that is you.

I couldn't find the gears to transform me into everything I was supposed to be, so let me continue down this downward spiral until my existence isn't plaguing yours.

Send all of your continued disgust down the road of no forgiveness. I'm trying to hitch a ride under the sign that says "Wrong turn, all the time". A place that *you've* never driven down, even though it's the only road home.

AND THEN SHE GAVE UP.

LIKE CRAZY.

CONFESSIONS OF A DEPRESSED COMIC.

So much.

HAPPY CANADA DAY!

SORRY.

NOW THE SKY COULD BE BLUE..

I should say, and you should hear that I've loved, I've loved the good times here. I've loved our good times here. Say hello, then say farewell to the places you know. We are all mortals aren't we? Any moment, this could go.

Cry, cry, cry, even though that won't change a thing.

MEET ME IN MONTAUK?

:(

Sucks.

I suck.

SUGA TOWN.

Couldn't take the sadness so I messaged my friend, Jheff. Sometimes, you just need a good friend to let you be a mess in front of.

Went to visit my cousin. Had many tears, and many thoughts. Things just aren't the same without this guy. Miss him so much and it just floods out in pools, waves, tsunamis. I try so hard to live for you, for everyone. This guy just knew what he was doing, and maybe he didn't know where he was going, but he knew how to live. It's not fair that someone who could have wrote the manual was taken away so soon. I hope I can be at least a little bit of you. The coolest dude. Best dude. Love and miss you Kuya, so much.

Squareheads forever.

JUST ONE OF THEM MISSIN KUYA ANTHONY DAYS.

Tribute To Anthony Bueno from Dan Feriolo on Vimeo.

GAME ON.

I have the biggest crush on Asher. FLOW.

BLURRED LINES.

This!


YUMYUMYUMYUMYUMYUMYUMYUMYUMYUMYUMYUMYUMYUMYMUYYYUUUUMMMYUMYMYMUYUMYYYYYYYUMMMMMMMMMMM.

and this, lol:

GOOD DAY, GOOD FEELINGS.

So even though I'm going crazy with the amount of stuff going on, I decided to better myself. A customer paid me with a $100 bill today, except it was $200 because they were stuck together. I chased him down to give him his $100 bill back.
I started collecting all the stuff I'm preparing for a huge charity donation. A lot of it is just used clothing, toys and books. There were a zillion kids outside playing today, so I strolled through the hood and handed out the toys and books.

Sometimes you just gotta go back to where you came from, and give it the good it deserves.

I'm a big stress ball walking on sunshine.
And, I love my hood for life.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.

I HAVE SO MUCH FUCKING SHIT TO DO.

Guys. I gotta like, take some Botch time and get the gigantic amount of pile up of stuff done. I have so much fucking shit to do it's driving me up the wall-pull my hair out-oh god help-can't even-wtf-crazy. So. Be back soon, k?

Strombo | Long Lost Love: Couple Reunited After More Than 60 Years

Strombo | Long Lost Love: Couple Reunited After More Than 60 Years

"Yeah, my left side is my right side. If it's vice versa, I'm still the same side. Stay until it gets better, I never trust a letter. When it don't write, don't matter."

- MIA.

YOU. YOU. YOU.

Giraffage - Close 2 Me

WANNA TELL YOU.

VILLΛGE - Wanna Tell You

REPAIRING.

My biggest fear is being so afraid of myself, I shut out what I really want.
My biggest downfall is letting moments infect my life.

What if everything I ever do, is wrong?
What if every right wasn't my right?

I want to be a nobody. Hiding in the corner, playing Nas in my head.
Shit. Other days, I'm terrified of being a nobody.
Where do you go from there?

Everyone wants to feel needed, loved. But what if I just want to be, "free".
Does being free go along with feeling needed?
Can we differentiate between the two? Sometimes certain sparks of both feelings feel the same.

Read. Laugh. Music. Dance. Cry. Write. Live.
The philosophy is simple, so why do we run away from it?!

Simplicity isn't fucking simple, man. It's fucking difficult.
I can't find a straight line.
This path is so jagged and winded that I've lost myself. Every time I think I'm back on path, I drop the compass.
I write metaphors when I try to find a deeper meaning in my existence.

Everyone wants a helping hand or thinks I'm fucking special.
I can't be both. Fuck, I'm nowhere near special.
I only make sensible choices like 25% of the year, the other 75% is pure fuck up.
I tell myself that I'm not wrong because I can't handle guilt, but I shouldn't be doing that. You shouldn't hide from mistakes, you should try not to do them. I'm not trying hard enough.
I want to be better, I want to grow. I want everyone's forgiveness or motivation, but I haven't done enough to deserve that.
The other side of my head is saying, "You're doing fine, Botch. Relax.".
It's not okay to do that.

Just be happy, wrong or not. What.

I need major repairs.

I don't want to be un-fixable.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAURICE SENDAK!

"I don't write for children. I write and someone says it's for children."

- MAURICE SENDAK.

IS IT JUST ME, OR ARE YOU GUYS WATCHING A LOT OF CRAP?!

Daft Punk's new album is pretty, "meh". Watched Star Trek last night and eh. It was pretty weak. I can't get into Arrested Development (I seriously watched the first season and didn't laugh once.), I've just started season TWO of Game of Thrones (I actually like it though, just late to the party, PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT RED WEDDINGS, I CAN NOT HEAR IT). So with all of that said, *loses all the friends*.

FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW.

Fuck a gym.
Fuck a wallet.
Fuck bills.
Fuck being scared.
Fuck loneliness.
Fuck anxiety.
Fuck this messy ass room.
Fuck my split ends.
Fuck this headache.
Fuck you.
Fuck me.
Fuck this.
Fuck that.
Fuck it all, yo.
Ugh.
Girl pwablems.

HEY FUCK FACES!

My current new obsession is Cashmere Cat. This Dj throws down some pretty trippy, hip hoppy, trap, electronic, poppy type music. How does he get that many genres in a mix?! I dunno, but he does. It's fun. Forget your troubles and enjoy, y'all.

UGH. THE INTERNET IS MAKING ME CRY SO MUCH TODAY.

Here's why:

Thanks, internet.

FUCK THIS.

ARE WE DATING? ARE WE FUCKING? ARE WE BEST FRIENDS? ARE WE SOMETHING, IN BETWEEN THAT? I WISH WE NEVER FUCKED AND I MEAN THAT.

..but not really, you say the nastiest shit in bed and it's fucking awesome.

MORE THINGS.

Oh god. Send help. Guys, send help. I need all the stuffz.

I WANT TO BUY EVERYTHING.

Like ugh, seriously. I'm going to become a homeless bum lugging around a backpack full of not so essential things. Can we please?! Like intervene me. Please. You should hurry. I have student loans to pay off.

I want all the things!