YO I AIN'T ONE TO COMPLAIN' BUT THERE'S THINGS IN THE GAME..

i'm not hurt. i'm not sad. i'm not angry.. but i do feel weird about it. & when i get asked, "why?", "why do you feel weird about it botch?".. i can't really answer that question. it's just this un-settling knot in the pit of my stomach that travels to my brain in 0.1 of a second with the following thought: "what?". maybe it's shock. maybe it's .. no fuck that, i don't even wanna say "maybe it's".. cause maybe it's a lot of fucking things.. BUT WHAT IT ALL COMES DOWN TO IS - hold that thought. i don't have the slightest fucking idea.
so what are you trying to say here botch?! i'm trying to express my utter and most real emotions in the form of a blog as soon as i feel them.. but how do you say what you feel when you don't know what it is..
the word conundrum is said to be anything that puzzles. now if i could take the word conundrum and use it as an adjective to describe that knot in my stomach, then maybe this entry is done. if i could use that word to describe emotion. if i could use that word to describe action.. if i could just take that one wordddddd..
i'm conundrum.