IT'S MOTHERFUCKING WEDNESDAY.

so go get lost between god and a shot of scotch.

WHAT'S WACK WEDNESDAY

MY LAWNMOWER
i wanna send a big fuck you to my fucking lawnmower. i recently injured my arm, so today when i tried to pull the rope for the motor of my lawnmower, no fucking go. i tried pushing that release button.. i added gas to it.. i even took apart the fucking bottom, and took out everything caught in there.. kept pullin, kept pullin. the stupid mother fucker would not start. the sun was blazing, sweat was falling down my neck, and the more i pulled without a start, the more i got pissed off. i spent an hour doing that shit. my lawn still isn't cut.. mother fucker.. and to make that even better..

POOP
while i mow my lawn, i usually let my dog hang out with me .. he likes sitting on the steps in the shade. well, while i was struggling to get my lawnmower started, he decided to take a poop smack dab right on the steps. YOU MOTHER FUCKER.. of all places! you couldn't just have went on the grass!?! the tallness of the grass would hide it anyways.. but to make that even better..

MOSQUITOES
while starting my lawnmower, i had to kill those mother fuckers as they attacked me. i threw a fucking tea party for mosquitoes, and the party was well-over capacity. WHY DO YOU FUCKERS LOVE ME SO MUCH?! leave me the fuck alone!! i'm so fucking itchy! i even got one on the bendy part of my thumb:( what is that! how do i even scratch that!! .. but to make this even better..

CREEPY GUY
right when i started this old man drove by me, and he was just looking at me. i kind of gave him a look like, "stop fucking looking at me old man, i'm a weakling but i'll be able to get it".. an hour later, i know it was an hour because it's when i gave up.. he drives by again, parks, gets out, and he says "did you get your lawnmower started?!".. like really guy, really. yes i did get it started, i just decided that i like my grass long. you fuckin' fuck. anyway i say "no". and then he goes "you want me to do it?!" and i say "no".. and he goes "want me to show you how to do it?!" LIKE REALLY?! this isn't mini golf. i do not fucking want you to put your arms on my arms and show me how to pull a fucking rope. i can do it, i'm just not strong right now okay. i say, "no..... thanks." and he says, "alright, bye beautiful" AND WINKS!! the audacity!! DO I LOOK LIKE A 20 SOMETHING YEAR OLD WHO LOOKS LIKE SHE DIGS 70 SOMETHING YEAR OLDS?! I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOTTTTT!!

i am sweaty.. and i am ITCHY.. with five fucking thousand mosquito bites. my arm fucking hurts and my lawn isn't cut. what's wack!? allah that shit. how i wasted an hour of my life.. how i probably won't be able to mow my lawn..
i had so many things to write about for wack wednesday, but i have decided to leave you with this because i wanted to vent. i'm gonna go ice my arm now. LOL. fuck this shit right now.. i can't survive without a boyfriend. i fucking need one. i need a boyfriend to do that boyfriend shit, like cut my lawn. i'm too fucking girly sometimes. *gag.. and also.. thank you for the apology. i don't want to touch too much on anything, because i really don't know how to.
bianca, can we go for beer later?! please?!

i'm treating mosquitoes like they owe me drug money. i'ma kill all you stupid mothah suuckkahhhhsss!