Tuesday, August 16, 2011


Maybe that's because I didn't grow up like most kids. My parents were all about their business. All about the stores, restaurants and the banquet hall. After school, I didn't go home. I went to the store. I'd sit in the office and watch cartoons until my parents closed the store, and then we went home. I spent grade 1 chicken pox on a stage of our banquet hall. It didn't even bother me, it was.. fun for me? Even with the copious amounts of yelling I got for falling asleep on the shelves behind the cereal, or on the rice bags. That was normal, for me.
During the weekends, my time was at home with the maid. My parents would get dolled up every Friday and Saturday. My dad with his suits and cufflinks, and my mom with her glitz and sparkling earrings. I'd sit on their bed and watch them. Then they'd leave for their business meetings or galas or fundraisers or parties.. and I'd be at home with the maid. I hated it, and could never wait til they came home. I regret that now, 'cause our maid was awesome lol.
Then my dad passed. & everything changed. My mom wouldn't work 8 hours, she'd work 15. I stopped living with my mom when I was around.. 10. & that's, when I grew up. I did the dishes, I cooked food for my niece. I was a mom. I didn't have friends really as a kid, I had cousins. I was always home, always in the pool, always cleaning.. and with that, came my mom trusting me. I didn't do that shit for me, I did that shit for my mom. I had to. She never really saw what life was like for me living away from me. She didn't want to see it, it hurt her too bad.. but she knew. She was just trying to give me everything she could, and I knew that. She literally called me every day.. still does, I just need to learn to answer more often.
Around the age of 13, my mom moved back in with me for one year. At this time, I was in track, cross country, basketball, volleyball and soccer. Life was chaotic. I had practice or a game every day. & I completely fended for myself, and she completely supported that.
Today, I told my mom I was going to New York.. and she responded with, "You're just like your dad, trying to see everything and live life to the fullest". I felt.. at that moment.. my mom understood me. TRUSTED me. I haven't asked for anything materialistic from my mom. I haven't asked for anything since school supplies in the 7th grade.. the only thing I ever ask for, is respect in my decisions.. and today I got that. It felt damn good for her to know.. because even though we both had chaotic busy lives.. we're close. She's doing her job supporting my choices where she can, and although we get into our rifts.. she really fuckin tries to get me sometimes.

I could smoke a cigarette, drink a beer, cry, laugh, share secrets, and cuss a shit load in front of my mom.. because she's my best friend. Nothing's better than that right now. Nothin!