SEOUL, KOREA

battery's about to die.. and we're sitting on the airport ground.. it's about 3pm in winnipeg, and it's 4am here.. my last 13 hour flight we didn't see daylight but we were able to cop some dinner and breakfast so that was pimp. i was able to watch the proposal, my sister's keeper, the hangover and finding nemo.. and then my brother showed me the hip hop section where illmatic was available for listen.. so i blasted that shit for like five hours or something and it was pimmmppppp!! that helped me sleep. the girl in front of me kept putting her chair back to the fullest but im alive.. and well. so as the laptop battery dies, ill bid my farewells. no sunshine since i left winnipeg and i kind of really miss sunlight.. WHEN ITS MIDNIGHT, AND ITS SOLAR.. ill be back once i find a charger or some shit.
oh and someone tell me how beer here is like $7 a can.. i had free wine on the plane and yall are tryna charge me $7 for a can of beer?! what isss thiiisss!!

I'LL BE GONE WAY PAST NOVEMBER

peace winnipeg.. I'm ghost one love.

DAMMIT BOTCH, YOU SUCK.

my list of things to do consists of 23746817459435 things. my list of accomplished things, consists of 0 things. my suitcases are empty. my bathroom's a disaster and so is my closet. i have this weird tendency to have my bathroom clean before i leave, otherwise i think about it constantly. same goes for my room. i have downed two red bulls, my pen hasn't hit the paper.. and cleaning my sink didn't exactly feed me ideas for the piece(s) i'm working on.. but yo, at least my sink's clean? i don't count that as a thing done, because my sink is just one part of my still disastrous bathroom. mother fucking cock bitch slut. HELP ME BITCHES. i'm in the progress of pulling an all nighter, and i'm not sure how the writing's gonna go down with a brain that hasn't hibernated in four days, but i'm fucking positive the outcome will be comical. times like these i wish maribeth lived next door. i'd make her come over and make me a timetable/chart to complete by certain times. that shit would be all color-coordinated.. probably laminated and shit. & that's totally what i need right now. i'm excited to get the fuck outta this biatch, and nervous too. yo scarborough, ten hours left. i see you baby. i'll be back with another entry to avoid the list of things to do.. til then, red bull you are my bitch.

ROCK OUT WITH YOUR COCK OUT

FINALLY, IT'S FUCKING FRIDAY!
good-bye botcho rage weekend all weekend.

let's drop kick this weekend in the fucking face!! pour redbull and vodka down the bitch's throat, light a belmont, pause, take a picture, yagerbombs, five beers then bust a nut on her fucking face, slap the bitch, then call her a dirty slut! HOW YOU LIKE THAT WEEKEND ?! you like it rough?!! ya trick ya.

MY NAME IS BOTCHO..

AND I DUG A HOLE.

i dug this hole a long time ago. i think i was.. fifteen. i haven't stopped digging. i'm still here, looking for the treasure box.. but the treasure box is on the other side of the island. so what do you do?

you bring your readers a story.

i like to tell myself i know exactly what i want. i like to tell myself that i know who i am. i hold on to hip hop and sneakers with my fist tight, thinking "this is you. this is what you love." & other days i'm like, is this really what i love?! or do i just love it to love something.
the big dream is to become a writer. that's it, no back up plan.. but wait a second, is that what i really want?!
the goal is simple, career. have kids. introduce said children to nas. have the sickest nike loving hip hop heads on the block.. but how do i get there?!
same shit, every day. routine this, routine that. your room's a mess botch, clean it. work time still, do it. which shoes do i wear, throw em on. launudry, and fold it. music time, press play.
then you sit and wonder.. when is it time to change the track, cause i've been listening to the same song on loop and now that i know all the lyrics, i'm scared to throw a new cd in. once that new cd goes in, will i forget the lyrics to the other?!
i'm not good at doing things on my own. i don't need "push" but i crave it. the hands on my back shoving me forward are the only things that keep me stepping. otherwise i'd be in the same spot, forever.
i never really like change, unless it's bold. a simple swing of changing schools isn't enough for me, i like to change cities. i think bold change hits me harder.
i'm 21 years old, but it's been five years of being 17.. i feel like i need to grow up but i can't feel the hands on my back so i stand.. completely still.
&i'm not mad at that, nor am i complaining. i've trained my mind to enjoy what i have, and where i'm at, cause i'm not the only one digging a hole. in fact, some people are way deeper, and they don't have hands pushing their back.. they're not even sure if there's anything in that hole, but they keep digging for that hope of faith that what they want will.. pop up. i'm not like that. sometimes i think that okay, things will just happen. some days i think, nah you gotta work hard for it.. and it's an endless tug-of-war between the two.. i'm in the process of training my mind to do both, because no matter how i get to where i want to be, once i reach that point, i can expect satisfaction.
i'm happy. completely. everything is solid. i just feel it's time to step out of the hole and start digging another.. and yo, if this is the wrong spot again, i'm completely cool with that. trial and error are the only things that bring you surprise.. and i need surprise.
i'm really looking forward to tuesday, because my bags will be packed and i'll be starting something completely new, and completely different. i'm not expecting to hop off an airplane and have all new adventures make me who i am.. but i am expecting to find out a little more about what i'm about.. new adventures, new stories, new life.. and i couldn't be any more ready. it's time to breathe botch, grab a shovel.

esco, let's go.

PULL YOU CLOSER, I CAN SEE THROUGH..

A COUPLE TROUBLE MAKERS, MAKING MAYHEM ON THE DOUBLE..

AND ITS SOLAR, AND ITS OVER, GUESS ITS ME AND YOU.5 more fucking days son. five more fucking days!

i LOVE school, but i HATE homework.

I JUST WANNA GET THE FUCK UP OUTTA HERE AND PARTTTYYYYYYYYYY!!

i need a hair cut, tims, space jams, money, a new jacket, my laptop back and some lip gloss in my life.. asap!
my wallet is a fucking JOKE ($36 to my name whaatttt!).. and my cell phone bill is $141.35.. how is this gonna work?! ahaahaha.. gotta hustle this weekend, got to.. hustle$$$$ casino anybodehhh?! where iz zombieland! HUH! SOMEBODY TELL ME! botcho's going away ALL weekend rage this weekend, drinks on YOU! whooo whooo!! today bonibelle and i had a small walking date. i love her:) i'll misss youu beeeyatch!! :( I WANT CHRISTMAS! is it just me or is time going eXtra slizzow this year?! i realized i haven't done a SUMMER re-cap yet, so i'll try and post that later if school time permits. uhhhh my room is a dees-ast-uR. i cleaned it like last week and it was mint, then rage got the best of me and it is finito! i have so much shit to do, and i'm officially freaking out. freak .. out. have you ever had a boyfriend that you don't talk to?! i haven't spoken to my boyfriend in two weeks. DAMN YOUR JOB TO HELL BABY! damn your job. i got five days to behave and not cheat on you!! hahahaaha. i'm kidding. misss yoouuu..!
CAN YOU PEOPLE RE-ADD ME TO UR BBM LISTS NOW PLEASE?! i lost my contacts and this 6 people contact list is kind of really fucking pathetic, with this amount i might as well get an i-phone. WHAT UP! homework time, one love.. (act like you didn't lol @ that.)


the things i'd do to youuuu..

ROLLIN, ROLLIN, ROLLIN, I AINT SLEPT IN WEEKS..

IMA DO JUST WHAT I WANT, LOOKING AHEAD NO TURNING BACK.
if i fall, if i die, know i lived it to the fullest!


cormega dropped. i haven't bought it yet. i'll cop it thursday and report my feelings then.. uhhh.. what else is going down in the world?! yankees, all day.. uhhhh.. jon gosselin needs to stop being so douchey.. if you haven't purchased the kid cudi album yet, you is crazy. buy that shit!@ i lost my ENTIRE bbm contact list, so re-add me please. nas > jay-z. eliza is back! ten episodes of "how i met your mother" or whatever it's called, and aCk! i'm addicted.. alive on saturday anybody?! i need a new bikini.. and lip gloss.. cot damn do i need lip gloss. wanna do lunch?! rage every day. seriously, every single fucking day!! the way to maintain a wicked kick ass lifestyle is confidence.. so i'm fucking awesome. uhhhmm.. on my grind bitches!
my doctor says to me, she says: "how often do you drink.."
botch: "ohhh you knooow.. socially.."
doctor: "okay. how often is that"
botch: "oh youu knoww.. like once a month." (obviously a lie lol)
doctor: "and how much, like one drink? one a month?"
botch: "like.. three." (obviously another lie)
doctor: "okay, i'm going to ask you to try and limit it to 2, your liver will be done."
so yeah. i'm basically fucked ahahahahaha.. but pffttttt.. what does she know~! phD!? what?! thats all?! i got two jobs!

OCTOBER HAS BEEN TOO FUCKING CRAZY.




i'm so tired! but fuck it.. waddup scarborough! six days!! awwww shiiittt.
have you packed yet cuz i haventttt.. son of a--!@#*$%^

SO.. THIS IS LIFE?

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