ON BEING A SMOKER.

Quit that evil glare. I've been ridiculed and lectured quite enough on this filthy habit, and if there's one thing I know, it's smoking is bad for you. We know that. All smokers know that. Quitting can easily be pictured in my future. I just haven't given the option a real effort. I'll give you 5 reasons why.

1. I GET BORED.
I thoroughly enjoy the oral fixation of it. Flicking a cigarette, the feeling of holding it, lighting it. It's a habit. A dirty one, if you may, but this habit has made hours feel like minutes.

2. IT'S SOCIAL.
I'd say at least, 40% of my friends, I have met through a cigarette. That 40% does not include the 7 minute friends. For you non-smokers, the universal time for a cigarette is seven minutes. The conversation you can have with a stranger in seven minutes would really surprise you non-smoking wussies. Sorry for calling you wussies. Kind of.

3. THE MEAL EQUATION.
After a meal, smoking a cigarette really helps. When you're really full, it grabs each food item and places them somewhere where you don't feel as full.

4. THE BOSS EQUATION.
When you're angry and you have a cigarette, people do not want to fuck with you.

5. THE GET OUT EXCUSE.
When you're not feeling a conversation, a person, or you just don't know what to say anymore.. going for a smoke is your perfect get away escape.

"Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it thousands of times." - Mark Twain.

I read an article where the writer said something like, "Every pack I open is 20 more opportunities to quit, I just haven't used one". Couldn't have said it better myself. Belmonts for life, brah.

Those judgements? I feel them. They're easily thrown away though. One inhale at a time.

IS IT TUESDAY?!

NAH MOTHER FUCKER, IT'S WEDNESDAY!!

and i'm here to let you in on some things that be waaaack and shit!

WHAT'S WACK WEDNESDAY!

guy: "yo do you have a spare cigarette?"
botch: "nah dude, sorry."
guy: "why ? is that your last one?"
botch: "nope, but i only have like two..
guy: "how much do those run you?"
botch: "$14."
guy: "fuck that's expensive, you shouldn't be smoking."
NO DUDE. YOU shouldn't be smoking, you can't fucking afford it! things that are wack from this story: guy being contradicting, guy being smelly, guy being fucking rude, guy making me want to blow smoke in his face.

EMBARRASSING MOMENTS LIKE THIS ONE:
girl: i'm wearing the same underwear, so i can't bang him tonight cause i banged him yesterday and he'll noticeeee..!! are you hooking up..?
botch: hahahaha uhhh no.. i'm not hooking up.. i'm wearing fucking pineapple scratch and sniff underwear.. it has pictures of fucking pineapples all over it.
** girl and botch exit bathroom **
girl: HAHAHAH.. pineapples.
random stranger: pineapples?! DO TELL.
girl: this girl, SHE'S FUCKING WEARING SCRATCH AND SNIFF UNDERWEAR.. IT'S PINEAPPLES!! AHAHAHAHAAH
thanks man. ahahah fucking thanks for telling the entire club what kind of underwear i'm wearing. ahahah.

FIND YOUR LOVE VIDEO
that has to be one of the wackest videos evaaahhh.. what is with the blazing drake taking up half that video.. all i kept seeing was drake inhaling. lol seriously drizzy, even jamaica couldn't help you.. you are a music video fail.

NO EXPERIENCE AND A SHIT LOAD OF MOUTH
this is when people give you advice on something they've never been through. "well if he's talking to another girl, you should just dump him". uhm?! what the fuck are you talking about?! you don't know anything. did i even ask you for your advice?! no. i really didn't. back the fuck up.

TEEN MOMS CONNECTING WITH TEEN MOMS
when 16 year olds who have babies go up to other 16 year olds with babies and say things like "omg your son is so adorable!!".. WHEN REALLY, both girls used to be the worst of enemies.. they hated each other.. but since they both fucked up and had babies, they talk to each other.. AND THE ONLY REASON WHY THEY TALK TO EACH OTHER, is to make themselves feel good about their mistake.
below the belt botch, below the belt. maybe.

DROPPING YOUR TOOTHBRUSH
so i was extremely tired this morning.. i couldn't sleep last night because i was scaring myself to shit.. i kept on thinking that the creaks in the floors were ghosts that wanted to eat me.. WHICH IS WHY I CANT LIVE ALONE PEOPLE! i'm accepting roommate applications! lol.. anyway, when i woke up i was EXTREMELY groggy.. kind of like the yoplait commercials, except instead of that reggae joint it was hip hop nation playing. so i wake up, and i'm brushing my teeth when i grab my lipstick.. which was on a shelf above the toilet.. my groggy self, knocks my toothbrush into the toilet.. there i stand, kind of dazed, with a mouth full of toothpaste looking at my toothbrush in the toilet.. and the only thing that escapes my foamy mouth is, "shit. that sucks".

POPULAR SHIT
THE IPAD! the ipad has to be the most gimmicky waste of money EVER. please do yourselves a fucking favor, and DO NOT get one.. ARE YOU PEOPLE AWARE OF THIS!? seriously, people only like shit cause it's new. people don't even take their time to think.. this piece of shit is an absolute waste of money.. it runs the same fucking OS as a FUCKING IPHONE! that should say enough. even that velcro+ipad video couldn't save this fucking thing. invest your money on shit that you will actually benefit from. not the shit that companies brainwash customers to think is ill na na. this world is dumb.. they ed hardy dumb.


ON THINGS THAT ARE NOT WACK.. i totally was mis-charged my pack of belmonts today, $7.76, when they're supposed to be $14.10!! fuck yeah son, fuck yeah son.. i totally didn't even notice til i left and saw my receipt. i was so tired this morning. still am actually, i'm trying to get hyped for talib tonight. WHAT?! you're going to see talib botcho!? i sure as the fuck am. ALSO.. nas is saying a lost tapes 2 and 3 might be coming our way soonskies.. FUCKFUCKFUCK YESSSSS!!!!!



ALSO, i've been asked for my song listing that i've used in may.. so here are the songs i used:

MAY 2010
kid cudi, chip - all talk
justice - DVNO
beastie boys, q-tip - get it together
lil wayne - single
usher - omg
trey songz - say ah
rampage, busta - wild for da night
fat joe - the shit is real
dj jazzy jeff - practice
consequence - let u live
usher - hey daddy
kid cudi - know why
timbaland - the way i am
beastie boys - you gotta fight
beastie boys - sabotage
travis mccoy - billionaire

i was on a big beastie boys tip last month. i currently have had distant relatives in my player since i bought it and haven't taken it out.. so a nas playlist is up. enjoy biatches.

WADDUP FUCKERS!

yo yo yo welcome to the illest blog on the planet! i don't take things from kanye's blog, i don't bore you with tips, i don't copy everyone i see on the internet, and i'm pretty much just awesome, so let's blog!
i didn't receive any questions this week for syntifik sunday, so i have nothing to answer today.. AW RATS. maybe people don't like me as much as i'd like to think they do. i am so tiiired.. but i just walked in the door and said "sorry baby, gotta blog" LOL. priorities people, they're called priorities. so it's easter.. and i didn't get any chocolate this year.. :( my sister used to pack these little gift bags filled with treats and cool shit.. sister stuff! like make up and stuff! when i stopped living with my sister and started living with my brother, he used to hide chocolate around! now that i live by myself.. i gets no chocolate:( i was a sad camper.. HOWEVER i did get a monster java energy drink! SHIT IS CRACK!
today my cousin, boyfriend and i went to shoppers and spent money on shit we didn't need. i dropped a good $50 at shoppers drug mart after bragging about how i spent very little money this weekend. after purchasing a pack of smokes i am officially broke. i have like $20 to last me til thursday.. oh shit, next thursday.. LOL.. fuck me.
MY BOYFRIEND LEAVES AT THE END OF THIS MONTH! SO LET'S START RAGING BIANCA!! just kidding.. i am really sad. he brought it up today and i was like "OH FUCK! ITS APRIL!?!!!@ you're leaving me!?!" type deal./ so how do you and this toronto kid keep this long distance relationship up you ask!? patience, A LOT of fucking patience. it is going to be very brutal having to say goodbye so i'm trying to make these last few weeks last.. on a budget. ahahaha. p.s. thanks for everything you did today, biggest thing in my iddy biddy world. xoxo niggs.
friday was good eats + eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.. if you have not seen it yet, you gots to! it is one of my favorite movies.. plus if you're lifted it's even better. saturday was movie night. watched crash and goodfellas. i forgot how intense crash was.. it really makes you think how your actions travel.. and goodfellas is always a ballin time. "can i have money to go shopping?!" "how much you need?!" WHERE ARE ALL THESE MEN!? well kinda. i made a strong effort to no longer date drug dealers. those relationships didn't really work.. out.. too.. yeah.
it's fucking nice out though.. so that's kind of cool.
this dog came up to me outside whilst having a cigarette.. about four hours later in another different location, we saw it again.. so we turned it in to animal services. i am secretly hoping the owners ask for my info and give me a reward cuz i am broke.. lol.. SELFISH FEEL GOOD DEEDS!! ARE THERE ANY OTHER!? before you judge me, i could've sold the dog, but i felt as though the dog deserves to go home! see.. i really am a nice person!
i am sick of being thick! &every time i eat, i think about it, but then i just shove the thought out. i am trying not to shove the thought out :( the weather is nice so i'm trying to get my early schedule back on track.. but it's hard as fuck with the load getting big again.
i wanna be rich so fucking bad.. WHY DO MY LOTTERY TICKETS KEEP LOSING?! i bought two scratch tickets this week, which is rare for me.. i'm alls about the 649/lottomax.. but both lost.. not even a free ticket! son of a bitch. i won five bucks on my 649 and bought a lottomax that i haven't checked yet. if that shit is a winner this is my last blog entry. joking. if i win, you can expect MY OWN DOMAIN! & those stickers to finally get printed. ahahah. boo botcho boo.
tomorrow is mixtape monday and i have no freaking idea what i'm going to do yet. i'm trying to go to class early so i'll have time to write it.. or i'll end up juzz not going to class at all! i say that because of the thought.. i really want to go ahaha.. i'm such a fucker!
i need groceries. HELP ME OUT LOTTOMAX.
it's always old people that play the lottery.. like seriously! what living do those fucks have to do!? they're just gonna spend like 1/8th of it and then die.. without having done anything cool with their cash.. so yo life! let me win fuck! i'm young! i got a lot of fucking living to do fuck! i wanna take champagne showers and pimp my garden up with gold roses and swans.
now ask me something fuck. these sundays are really getting hard.

mothahh fuckahhh i'm full.

HAPPY HUMP DAY.

some days i really love wednesdays.. you get that fuck yeah it's almost the weekend.. some times the day goes fucking shitty as fuck. time is slow and your eyes wanna shut down.. today was fucking beautiful. the weather was bomb.. and i went to the mall. i'm not a mall person, i hate the mall and everybody in it.. you'll probably see me in a mall at a maximum of like 4 times a year.. and that's a generous four.. i didn't hate today though.. i had a good day with my cousin and came home happy and ready to lay down in my bed.. but even with that, i still gotta say what's wack..

WHAT'S WACK WEDNESDAY

CIGARETTE TAX TELL ME HOW A PACK OF BELMONTS COST ME $14. wtf is that shit!? i was aware that cigarette tax was going up 50 cents.. but i didn't realize it would hurt me that bad til i actually had to buy a pack. i is getting robbed. cigarettes in the states are like $3. we need to get on that shit. damn this free health care. damn ittttt..

SPRING NO BREAK spring break without the break cause you just end up working more. getting a bigger paycheque will be so dope.. but yooo.. OH WAIT! FRIDAY IS GOOD FRIDAY!! so tomorrow is actually my friday.. so technically speaking.. it's thursday! shit son.. maybe this isn't so bad afterall.. OH WAIT! i found a way to complain about it.. friday is a holiday, and it's a part of spring break?! that's cheating.

BREAK-UP SEASON i swear to life, late march, early april.. totally break up season. this isn't really wack, but what is wack is hurting people. i don't know what the fuck is up with spring, but it makes people fucking crazy. people tend to do such fucked up shit, and THAT is wack. spring is fucking shit for making people psychotic bitch azz cunt fucked dyke lookin pricked assholes.. i some how need to find a way to turn spring into capsules.. and then sell it. i will be the richest drug lord to ever have lived!!

WU-TANG YES. wu tang on what's wack wednesdays..! for being sold out everywhere i go! WHAT THE FUCK! i want the massacre. WINNIPEG DOESNT EVEN LIKE HIP HOP ONLY I DO! stop trying to steal it winnipeg! you fuckers! ..okay sigh. i'm glad the album is being purchased, they deserves the penny.. BUT FUCK! can you guys wait to buy your copy til i get mine!? cool thaaanks.

SLOW FUCKS BECAUSE THEY'RE DUMB today i went to get bubble tea in the boonies. it was the boonies, so there was literally no one in the fucking place.. and girl took for-fucking-ever to make my shit. LOOK LITTLE GIRL, there is no time to be fucking dilly dally'ing.. i fucking want my shit! i have things to not do, and people to not see, so make me my drank and be on with your life..!! when i walked in stupid hoe was fucking reading a magazine while a table was covered with cups and napkins. get off your ass you dumb bitch! don't worry people, i left my blog open in their little "cyber area" so hopefully she'll read this.. i could've written a fuckin entry waiting that long. hahah.. she totally said "thanks for coming" so nicely when i was leaving too.. LOL im such an asshole. 5YN-tifik.blogspot.com you stupid mothah suckah!!

HAIR CONDITIONER i'm not sure if i'm the only person who has this problem, but i ALWAYS, ALWAYS, run out of conditioner before shampoo.. shit fucking baffles me! am i supposed to use less?! i feel like i use less.. i make a pretty reasonable ration.. and it sucks not having conditioner.. shampoo is not the same without conditioner! and DO NOT even get me STARTED about 2 in 1.. ugggghhhh!! one day however, i noticed this.. the conditioner bottles are always less of an amount than the shampoo.. DAMN YOU SNEAKY BASTARDS.. except for pantene pro-v, which actually has more conditioner in their bottles than shampoo.. but i still ran out of the shampoo first.. ramble ramble izz what i doooo..

B'S MOM: so you weren't at work today, did you get a doctor's note?
B: yeahhhhhh..
B'S MOM: well.. where is it?
B: it's in my car.
B'S MOM: you didn't go!
B: yeahhhh.....i didn't (dammit).

your weakest moments are your strongest emotions.. some times you gotta drop kick life in the face, get up and say "fuck it, i'm fucking awesome". dude, you're fucking awesome, and it's almost the fucking weekend.. so let's drop kick the weekend in the fucking face. i love you bitch, and anyone that does, will treat you fucking awesome.. and to anyone that doesn't.. well.. we'll nickname them life.

WATCH ME MASSAGE YA BRAIN WITH SLANG, THATS KING..

"LOVELY"

smudged make up, sweaty people, hip hop and a raekwon concert after the jump!

RAEKWON DA CHEF!

his show was short lived, and he did all the classics FIRST. there were annoying people and every girl (out of like the five who were there) thought they were some ill na na. my ribs got destroyed while i got pushed in to the stage, boys touched me like i was fucking nothing. i mouthed off to people and killed my cigarettes. i swigged on my beer with my middle finger in the air and put all of that bull shit aside, for the love of wu-tang. can it be that it was all that simple?


wu-tang brings love.


RIP.


smoke in my face and i am lovinn it?


not so much this year son!


john smith!!


keeeeep it simple.


HEYY LONNIEEE I HEART CHUUUU!!


oh rats.


it's better, it's better.


yeezys? or.. drake..? or..?


he needs a muse!




PULL YA SHOES UP BLACK, MATTA OF FACT, JUST ADAPT..


TIE UP YA BLACK NIKES AND TIGHT HATS..


CORNERS, STAY SURROUNDED WITH FOREIGNERS..


there was no way i was about to get on that stage.. nooo wayy.. these broads was down


thanks for the show still.. i hate this picture but lawd knows i had to post it.


i wouldn't have posted this, but aggie and bianca are killin it ill na na and raekwon's doing not so bad while i'm just disgasting so ayyy!! ahhaha


horray! :)


i heart chu richie !!


at this rate, we will meet everyone famous by the time we're 35 ;)


ack ! ack! <3


might as well get some promo goin since raekwon kept shouting september 8th.. YO! 5YN-tifik.blogspot.com !!


5yn-tifik!


my favorite locales! .. but i'm missing somebadddyyy


and im too short.


yep. way too short. ill catch ya next time murray.

AAAAAAAAAND alex found a vid of raekwon right before the show, it's boring.. but it's nice to see winnipeg get some fucking love.. AY!


in news.. can winnipeg hop off drake's dick now? NO. i do not hate drake. i mean i did, i don't know.. but still. this whole drake phenomenon.. wow. settle. let's.. just.. settle.


kid cudi all day.



ALSO! NIKE DOES MISS PACMAN BACK PACK?! oh lawd.

FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

..and what's this about penny's in a penny colorway. i done been sleeping and officially know nothing about life.. thank you internet. gotta go catch up now.

1!

LONGEST BLOG ENTRY SINCE TIME.

JUST BAILS!! lol you're a gay fag. uhh fuck i had so much to type and it just left me. finished rant, FINALLY. i just haven't had the time?! &i know it's like "yeah right you don't even go anywhere anymore" UHH SHUT UP. i don't have time. but i finished it, more on that later. i miss my brother:( WAIT TIL I GET MY MONEY RIGHT. faCk bitches. i tore apart everything i own today and found $8.. which was fucking exciting. but i was also out of cigarettes. can't afford belmonts so i had to settle, for canadian classics. a 20 pack of canadian classics. 7.86 for that shit. you do the math. "you wanna do lunch botch?" nah kid i got bills to pay, i got moves to make, but my flight lands at 8 dont be late.. ya ok anyways. i'm severely sleep deprived.. but that ain't my bad cuz like i can't sleep. i don't get tired til like 4am, then at like 8am i'm awake and like, shit. that kinda blows. teej asked "how do you sleep so late and wake up so early!?" i don't know tj. i just.. don't know. this is gonna be a long entry. brace urselves. so i should have a phone by thursday, thats some good news. i realized i left my fucking notepad in my purse when it got stolen. which included all daily activity i had to handle, book pages, etc. kinda bummed me out.
the weather was IIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL today. hello going for cigarettes with a t shirt on. yo. you feelin this? only downfall is the fucking meltage. water was seepin into my zoo yorks faster than pre-cum outta 14yrolds jerkin it. ya like that?! kinda gross. so our water boys number was all gone-zo's or something, so we've been buying that gay ass bottled water. it's bull shit. water bottles all over my room! so he calls today after like a week and he's like "this is the new number". oh yA? thanks for the tip homay.
so this dude always asks me "hows ur boyfriend?!" and i'm always like "i don't have one!" and he goes "ohhhhh i thought you didddd..!!" or some shit like that. anyways, today he said it again, and i rebelled, im like "HES GOOD." and he goes "oh what? i wanted to hook you up with this guy.. he's 25." like him being 25 is supposed to be extra sexy or something. i don't fuck with asians no more, sorry. they're kinda crazy. ooooh big burn to all ya hatahs.
did i mention i paid for that pack of cigarettes with like nickels and dimes? good times. i've missed so much sports it's REDIC. i'm so behind. not only that but i know about no current events/tv shows/celeb gossip, etc. not that i care about that shit cuz ay, i just care about my life and thazz it. but still, kinda embarrassing during conversations and im just like "buhhhhhh.. yes." rant taught me about 'lineage'.. ANYONE INTERESTED IN A GOOD OL CONVERSATION ABOUT LINEAGE? sounds tempting, i know. i just took out lost boyz, common and digital underground and put in santogold, kanye, and the fratellis. nigga thas random. this is random, actually.
i wanna pick up my phone! cmon life, go faster. then once i get my phone, go sloooowwwer. ryan just messaged me saying "i have homosexual studies". haha uhh what? weirdo. i wanna party! except, not party. i just want like 8 beers, food, and someone to be like "fuck botch ur so annoying!!" and i'll respond, "yaaaa right, im so funny!" hahaha. that scenario played out real funny in my head. i want a bed in a bag! a nice downe one, all white. sounds sexy right.. too bad it's like $100, and thats for like a cheap walmart version. i want the good shit ! i just need to win the lottery.. BUT FIRST, i gotta buy a ticket. which i never do cuz im like "eh". but really, i think one day im just gonna come across luck money.. then all my haters will be on my balls like "fuck botch ur sooo cool". and i'll be like "yaa i know, ya broke bitch!"
lotta dialogue in this entry ay.. i dunno whats up with that/ i miss bianca. i've been thinking about doing weekly themed entries. it's just a thought, i don't wanna say i'm gonna do it cuz look what happened with my 365. promises you can't keep = puke on a platter. but ya, we'll see.
bored yet? still reading? good. in that case. YOU, and you alone reader, are the sexxiest mother fucker ever. how the fuck do you do it!?
amber has my chicago bulls cap, and my book. jono has my scarf. bianca still has my bag LOL. my sister has my tshirt and sweats. all my shit's so scattered. and im too lazy. so uhh, bring it to me whenevs? lol. fuck i went this long, no rush.
see if i had my cell phone, this entry wouldn't be here, cuz i'd just be texting bitches "YO!" beggin' for a joke or some shit like that.
fuck your baby's ugly. it's like gross. and i know it's like kinda fucked up that i'm saying that. but shit. ew. wtf is that alien baby. haha makes sense though. moms and dads is sure a fail.....and i wonder why i got my shit stolen, when karma's knockin at my door. tomorrow i gotta clean my room. freal. FOR REAL. anddd if i don't .. well then. i just don't know. i need to start wearing my retainers. ugh. i know it's not a hard task but it always feels like it is.. almost like working out. even though they're so diff. fuck as if tomorrow's monday. of all days, it's monday. sucks ay? gza's on a monday. WHY GZA WHY!? ok. thas enough! time for me to like try and sleep but not really sleep.
ciao.

feelin: sleepy
listen: drake - successful

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY IN TWO DAYS!

& it's my daddy's birthday today! happy birthday pops..! i miss you..!!!!!!

i had a conversation with my brother yesterday. and it started out cause i said i wanted to get hypnotized to quit smoking. i know i haven't really fully committed myself to quitting, i would just like the easy route lol.. and my brother was like telling me how he doesnt really wanna be a non-smoker, cause non-smokers are wussies. AND YOU KNOW WHAT! he couldnt be more right. you nonsmokers need to get off our dicks with your holier than thou attitudes. you're all pussies. the difference between non-smokers and smokers is so huge, it astounds me sometimes.. i'm not saying we're better than non-smokers, i'm just saying smoking makes us look cooler.. (jk.. maybe) /asshole

new years pics to be posted. stay tunneeeddd.
p.s. holla to val for the kick ass presents. i literally gasped when opening.. a million thank yous, & i antiCipate ur return to winnipeg!

"DARE" WAS BORING UNTIL I WORE IT.

tell me that is not the sickest stance ever.. & he has a purple lunch bag, what's not to love?!

iunno why, but i saw a lot of fucking cowboys today.
calgary in the city for football, i'm assuming.

i light up a smoke every time i enter the fucking car. shit, routine is more of an addiction than the nicotine. nic patches don't do shit for me either. must quit before 30 bitches, i just gotta. fucking nic'n out and shit, it's so annoying. you feel like a fucking baby. can't do shit! just cranky!
falafel = the bomb diggidy. you try and be the person to tell me otherwise.

am i the only girl in the world who's not diggin' hellz bellz' new shit!?
it's like they found out that everyone thought "wow this shirt has crazy shit on it!" so then they were like, "alright people like crazy shit.".. then they took copious amounts of crazy shit, and threw it on a shirt, but it's too much crazy. please don't sell out:(