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so all you gotta do is get lost between god and a shot of scotch.i'm extremely moody. extremely. i try not to be, but i totally am. i go through hot and cold moments. one minute i'm up, the next i'm down. i'm bitchy when i'm bitchy, and i will diss the fuck outta you til you say "fuck, this botch girl, she's a fucking bitch". hey, *shrug*, i don't mean to do it, honestly.
i LOOOVE animals. not to the point where i'd throw paint on a fur coat, or stop eating meat.. but if i go to a petting zoo, i'll be having a salad for dinner.
i looove dogs. every single fucking thing about them.. i just got a new puppy and named it esco. pics soon, you'll love her!
i'm not really grossed out by blood and guts in horror movies, or tv documentaries.. i think that shit is so fucking cool. like, that's my favorite part in zombie movies. mm yes, GUTS! i love guts! i love seeing intestines stretch and body parts break! yaayyuuRR.. and when it's like lypo on tv, and they're cutting fat or some shit.. don't phase me.
i really don't like taking the strainers out of showers though. that shit creeps me the fuck out. i hate hair.. well actually, no i won't say that.. i hate WET hair.. like if my cousin uses my brush or some shit, i can remove that no problem.. but when it comes to soapy wet hair, ew. kill me now.
what's with all this gross talk?! i dunno. it's just being typed people, can't stop it.
my boyfriend and i argue about dumb shit. such stupid shit, it's retarded. in fact, i don't think we've ever really had a REAL fight. like a "why you talking to that girl/dude" or "you forgot my birthday" type fights. no. we're really good with that shit. it's the whole, "you left your clothes on the floor" type fights. i'm usually the one to call him over to "resolve things", and that urks me some days. just once, i want you to come up to me and say "hey can this little fight thing we have going on be done now". i always try to put myself in your shoes, and i will always do my absolute best to keep things right. it's nice to know our problems have so far been so minimal, and i know i'm not the greatest girlfriend in life.. but i'm yours, so suck it up playa. hahah. just kidding. i got you cudder, love me.
NEVER LET YOUR AUDIENCE SEE YOU SWEAT. they can never know if you're under. people tend to take advantage of the un-knowing and that's some shit i will definitely not tolerate. so bottle that shit up.. and whip out one of the tricks you have under your sleeve. i got one hundred trillion.. so where should i start?
my bad for not being on the bloggin tip. having a new puppy is like having a fucking baby. it's like the ultimate test to see what kind of mom i'd be.. abusive. JUST KIDDING. i don't hit puppies. i've just been trying to hold down a relationship while trying to potty train a puppy, and when you're juggling that.. no fuck that, when you're juggling THAT, trying to make a dollar, keeping your nikes away from puppy teeth, and organizing your life.. well.. blogging moves a little further down the list.. BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN, it doesnt mean the world to me.. what means the world to you !? DIAMOND RINGS, bloggin tings.. emotional balance. being a better person. treating my boyfriend the way he deserves to be treated. remembering to do things for myself. treating people who deserve it, well. treating bitches, like shit. friends. family. christmas!
so.. on this fine tuesday afternoon, lemme know..
what means the world to you?
i think this new series deviates from my pessimistic wednesday posts.. i know that wednesdays make me look like i hate everything.. but i really don't ! so this entry will be as positive as i can make it without vomiting. lemme fill you in.. what's dope tuesday?! ha! esco, let's go.THINGS THAT BOTCH DIGS
RED BULL
i drink way too much red bull, but that shit is fucking amazing. throw red bull in a slurpee, and that shit is crack.. add some vodka, and shit bitches! that shit is the pre-game drank of choice during these hot ass summer nights. omfg.. it is so fucking good. can i get a coffee with my breakfast?! NAH BITCH FUCK THAT. redbull me up. it's greater than coffee. yeah i said it.
BITING
i love biting. i love bite marks, i love it on the neck. i love it on my hand. i love biting lips. i fucking. love. biting. there you have it folks. my secret's out in the open. now you know why i say i love teeth so much. it's because whenever i see a nice grill, yo. yo. my mind isn't nasty though, i swear it's good biting! dear nas, dear cudi, dear lex, can i lick your teeth!? ahhahahaha.
CUPCAKES
if i'm ever mad at you, or if you did something fucked up.. bring me cupcakes. there's an 85% chance that we'll be okay after that. not no gay cupcakes though. if you bring me gay ass cupcakes that taste like shit, and they have those lame ass sprinkles on them that taste like old icing.. then i might get more mad. be smart, use your discretion.
DIM SUM
WHAT TIME IS IT?! it's DIM SUM TIIIIMEEEE!! i only tried dim sum like.. last year..!! & i can not believe how much i've been missing out on!! i fucking love you dim sum!! wifey me! sushi is definitely tied with dim sum though. i fucking love both. they're like tiny little meals in bite size form! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT?!
MANGO PUDDING
cuz after dim sum, there's always room for mango pudding..! .. yeah. i like to eat.
CIGARETTES
i know. that's a pretty disgusting thing to love.. but i can't help it. i fucking love my bellys. i love everything about them! i love how they calm me down when i'm angry.. i love how smooth they are. i love the way the taste. i love playing with smoke. i love lighting it. i love o's. i love when people offer you a smoke without you asking. i love doing the same right back. i love seeing boys smoke. i love cigarettes. GROSS!
NAS BEANIES
when guys wear their shit like THIS.. i pretty much wanna go up to you, grab your fucking face and lick it. seriously. steez baby, it's all about steez.
that's all i can think of for now.. BUT HEEEYYY!
it's chooseday, lemme ask anyway.. what do YOU love?
unless you love the lakers, then you can just move right along.
i just want to blaze.. like all the time. every day. before i sleep. when i wake up.. allllll theee fuuuuckiinggg tiiiiiimmee. distant relatives certainly helps the craving.i'm going to make today's chooseday real simple. i've been devouring distant relatives ever since i've opened it.. i'll do a review soon (hopefull-ay lol).. but my question to you guys is this..
DO YOU FEEL DISTANT RELATIVES IS AN EQUAL PRODUCT OF BOTH ARTISTS?
you already know why.
also.. that rock the bells line up is fucking redic. i'm focused on absolutely nothing but attending.
in other news.. i've composed my summer playlist. i listen to the same songs literally over and over again.. and they consist of the following, ON LOOP:
kid cudi - memories
usher - omg
usher - hey daddy
ciara, luda - ride
weezy - single
nas - hey young world
nas, damian marley - as we enter
justice - DVNO
b.o.b. - airplanes
beastie boys - fight for your right
yeah wow. mainstream bangers. BIG SUMMER TUNES RIGHT THERE PEOPLE. big summer tunes. i just wanna fucking party all the time!
i get this sort of jumpy feeling when i open a cd. there's something about taking off the wrapper slow, pulling out the booklet, and checking out the artwork. i ONLY open a cd if i'm going to listen to it right after. i have this lame ritual when i get excited about music.. i take the cd home.. un-wrap it.. put the cd in, and then browse through the booklet. i am a big supporter of purchasing cds, as i don't own an ipod. YES PEOPLE, i DO NOT, own an ipod. i personally, like hard copies. i enjoy album art.. i enjoy reading their thank you's the best.. sometimes i get real scared that there will be a day when cd's won't be sold anymore.. and it will just be "downloading" stores. i hope that never happens.. you know, like the vhs to dvd movement.. atracks, records, cassettes, cd's.. urgh. vinyl is so expensive!! BUT HAVE YOU HEARD THAT SHIT!? you hear every fucking layer. & cd's hold a special place in my heart..
BUT WAIT! i understand the whole downloading mp3's thing.. i have mp3's on my computer and my cell phone.. i get it. it's convenient. all your music in one place at the touch of money.. that's cool, it's just not my choice completely. so.. on this fine tuesday evening.. i choose to ask you this..
ARE YOU A DOWNLOAD OR A HARD COPY PERSON?!
.. and if you do both, what influences your choice?p.s. BOTH NAS&DAMIAN MARLEY AND REFLECTION ETERNAL DROPPED TODAY!!!! go get em! download em! whatevah! support good music people!
shit.. well these past few days have been crazzzyyyy.. i have gotten reeeediculously smashed and puked my guts out because of it. i made ridiculous phone calls, and yelled out nas lyrics at the top of my lungs. i spilled beer on people and told people they were ugly. i had crazy allergies and nearly ripped my skin off (so itchy!).. i didn't get to see ryan before he moved to ottawa:( i got some girlfriend time in and scored some body wash that i probably won't be able to use til july cause of allergies lol. & i made some life decisions..
i don't plann on telling anything else!! i don't like saying things if they don't happen, and everybody knows that's what i do. so i'll just try myself and see what happens.. in other news.. NOIR IS THE SPOT! it is top dollar on sundays. i dunno why i have so much fun there?! every other girl is like dressed up in their heels and skirts and i'm chillin in my t shirt and sneakers like whatevahhh. i think the most awesome thing about that is that it's not awkward.. plus i like hearing myself some black moon and tribe. WHO DOESNT LOVE TRIBE?!
there are so many albums out this summer and mother fucker i am excited.. i'm excited for all, but i'm really stoked for nas & damien marley.. i told myself i would not listen to a single song til the album drops.. i failed. i listened to as we enter. BUT THATS ALL I'VE LISTENED TO. i knew this album would take a minute, so i waited. i think that this way, when it drops i'll dig it even more so.. hopefully i can get some new reviews up because i haven't done that in awhile either!! SO.. with that being said, i chose to ask you guys this..
WHAT ALBUM ARE YOU MOST ANTICIPATING THIS SUMMER?
just to remind you of some shit that's dropping!
REFLECTION ETERNAL - REVOLUTIONS PER MINUTE (may 11)
NAS & DAMIEN MARLEY - DISTANT RELATIVES (may 18)
DIGITAL UNDERGROUND - THE GREENLIGHT EP (may 18)
MADLIB - HISTORY OF THE LOOP DIGGA (may 25)
REDMAN - REGGIE (june 1)
THE ROOTS - HOW I GOT OVER (june 15)
N.E.R.D. - NOTHING (june 15)
JOELL ORTIZ - FREE AGENT (june 15)
CROOKED I - HOOD STAR (june 15)
LUPE FIASCO - LASERS
plus ice cube, joe budden, murs, m.i.a., ratatat, uffie, all with set dates in july & august..
.. and i guess.. drake's thank me later. lol. weh.
MY BAD. i haven't blogged since thursday, and in bloggin time, that's light years.. life has just been too crazy!! my allergies have been kicking my ass.. and so has the weekend! i'm working my ass off and plan to keep working my ass off for the rest of the summer, whilst partying fucking hard.. once my allergies are gone that is. i think i've seen a total of one thousand doctors this month and not one of them have had an ABSOLUTE answer for what's causing this shit. i've been to two hospitals, taking fifteen pills a fucking day, plus two other prescriptions.. and i have two new ones to try out. YAY!
in brighter news, i've made it to my computer today on a fine tuesday night.. to mention a few things.. number one being, I LOVE KRISTIN CAVALLARI! omg lady. you are the shit. serious to life, she is one fucking bomb ass girl. team kristin forever.
number two being thoughts on tumblr. i've had a few people asking me to switch over from blogspot to tumblr, and i just haven't made the decision. it took me almost five months to make the big jump from lj to blogspot.. that's some shit.. i've been blogging since i was 14!! so parting from something is hard.. i like all my shit organized and in one spot, so when i want to look back, it's easy.
anyway, i really dig tumblr, it seems easy to manage, and that more people have it./ however, it's more for "inspiration". i've based this blog on the exact opposite. i try and make my blog more like it's definition. my journal, in a public sense. i try to write as much as possible to keep going.. if i'm not writing on paper, hey, at least i have my blog.. and that's my biggest thing with tumblr.. there's not a lot of writing on it as oppose to a quote, or a picture. i like that shit too, but i fear if i get one that i'll lose the motivation to actually blog.
i feel almost as if people are getting lazy to blog. with every new internet thing that pops up, it's almost like a short cut. well.. i guess in a sense, that is what the internet is. a short cut. so how do we differentiate between laziness and powerful shit!? it's a doozy.
i'm still an avid blog cruiser. i take the time to look at different blogs because i find people interesting. i don't really read blogs that talk about things not related to the person because to me, that isn't a blog. that's half the reason i don't read kanye's blog. no diss to him, i love kanye, i just don't find his blog interesting, to me. i loove cudi's blog. that dude is fucking comical.. and he puts time into his entries which is relatable on a level that makes you feel exactly what dude typed.. so.. with all that being said.. my question to you today is this..
WHAT MAKES A BLOG "GOOD"?
my heart literally broke a little this morning when i found out about guru. RIP GURU, your music will live on forever!
with today being 4/20, i decided to change my playlist to music i like to bunn to. i hope you enjoy it as much as i will today! & i also hope everyone has a good 4/20. i'm not sure how many of my readers are pot smokers or not.. but for today's choose-day, i decided to ask you..
SHOULD MARIJUANA BE LEGALIZED?
now i'm going to turn up my speakers, grab all my munchies, and zoooooone. i'll make another post later on, but til then.. i'll see you under the sun:) and if there's any songs that you like blazing to, that i've missed, throw 'em down, i'd love to hear 'em!
did he call? dammit he didn't. i hate him. he's the worst ever. he's an asshole. fuck him. i don't care if he ever calls me again! my phone's ringing.. maybe it's him! ..dammit it's not. i should call.. just to say good-bye. for the last time.
you throw out all pictures. you blast your speakers til they bleed. you cry your soul out of your body til your throat feels like it's going to burst open.
get ready.. because this entry is going to be going through leaps and bounds of randomness and improper structure.
i've been through one too many break ups. & since it's break up season, i thought i'd cover it. i'm not currently going through a break up, i love my boyfriend.. but i can certainly speak from experience.. so here goes it. i seem to have the same routine with every break up.. as much as i say i hate the asshole that tore my heart to shreds, i check my cell phone every five minutes. i check my email. i re-visit old letters, pictures, and songs.. i go over our last meet.. & sometimes i even go back. & i don't even know what i think when i do it.. for instance.. we'll call him paul. paul and i broke up.. and after two weeks of not talking.. he called me. i watched as my phone rang once.. twice.. three times before i answered. in that time lapse i debated with myself between two thoughts "holy shit, he's calling me" and "should i answer?!".. well.. i answered. & after the whole "how are you holding up" conversation, i put on my best tough girl talk. you know the deal "okay, well i don't wanna talk to you anymore, bye".. but that was no use. i ended up going to see him anyway.
one of the hardest parts about a break up is just that.. the break up. the getting away. break ups don't take a day. they don't take a week. they take awhile. it takes more than just saying "fuck it, we're done". it takes deleting phone contacts, it takes ignoring text messages, it takes avoiding contact, by any means necessary.. and no matter how much you know that's true.. you end up ignoring all right.. and falling back in.
all of my past break ups have been replaced by a rebound. fuck me, that sounds horrible.. but i'm not trying to look like perfection, so fuck it.. let's get real. i make things easier for myself, by grabbing someone else's hand.. which didn't always work out for me. boys are sneaky. they are fucking tricks. no matter how hard you may seem, during a break up, boys can read that shit. it's safe to say that none of my rebounds lasted more than two months.. and that's of no fault than my own. juzz mine. i'm a stupid little girl who replaces emotions with emotions. it's much easier to throw a hoodie over your shirt than clean out the ink stain.. and that's what i do.
.. and once the rebound's gone.. my phone rings.. and i think "holy shit, he's calling me".. and i answer./
i think all girls love attention.. whether that be good or bad.. every dude that's liked me in the past, i've wanted them to keep on liking me. i like that feel of attention. feeling special is addicting.. you hold on to it because that feeling of flaws and imperfections leaves you.. because hey, one person, sees the good shit. so when he doesn't call.. you get worried. am i flawed?
from all relationships i've learned something. sometimes things repeated themselves, sometimes i learned something new. i've grown up a lot.. and i continue to grow every day. i always believe in education through life. relationships are considered phD's in my books.
.. but even with all the growing i've been doing. it's still hard to break away. to make that decision.. is it the right decision?! is a break up crossing the line?! maybe if you did more of this, and i did more of this.. can we work it out?! or are we really quits?! and when does this quitting become final?! cause my phone just rang..
so.. my question to you today is this..
IS THERE SUCH A THING AS AN EASY BREAK-UP?
actually it's not so hard.. i just haven't been.. but i'm here! so i'm trying people, i'm trying! my question today to you is this (thanks to 5 gays 1 girl)..
WOULD YOU EVER DATE A RECOVERING ADDICT?
let me know in the comment box belooooowwww.
