Wednesday, May 16, 2012


When people tell me they read my blog, it still doesn't hit me. People come up to me and are like, "Yo that post on blahblahblah, so good.".. and I'm like "Really?! I wrote that ages ago?! You read that?!". So when I got this e-mail, I was shocked. After the shock, I was even more surprised to find out it was a person who I've never had a conversation with in person.. aside from that, they've been following me for over two years, and just came through with the word now.

It's crazy to think that the internet can give people something beyond hilarious cat pictures and news bloopers. It's even crazier to think that I could touch someone like that through something like the internet. I chose to fully put myself out there eleven years ago, simply for the sake of doing it. I went from writing in notebooks, to life experiences on the internet. It was never for anyone really, it was for myself. I knew that there might be a few people who hated me, and there might be a few people who felt me.. but I didn't think it would take off the way it did. When you get people who feel you like this.. Shit. That's more than I could ever expect when I sit down, light a cigarette and hit the keyboard.

For as long as I could remember, I felt that words were the most powerful thing I could get out of me. I've always loved them. I've always wanted to document my entire world. I enjoy every bit of it. The process, looking back on past pieces, and most importantly, the release of it all. I don't think I'd be Botch if I kept all of this in. I don't think I could have survived most of the things I've been through without releasing them somewhere. I mean, taking all of that and putting it out there, it kind of made everything just.. better.

This e-mail though, this e-mail.. makes every single damn blog hater, makes every friend/boyfriend who has left my life because of my blog, makes every person who has called me a hipster, makes every single bad blog day fucking worth it. I consider myself so lucky to have one person who could take what I've been through and learn from it, who could understand why I do this, and who has the courage to say "Hey Botch, Thanks". And, to know that I've done this to more than one person?! That feeling is so surreal.

Don't thank me. Let me thank you. People like you are so much of why I do this. I find that you thinking I did so much for you is making you blind to the fact that these e-mails do so much for me. You have no idea how much they do for me. They make every single fucking day better.

Blog til the death of me.

Love to the new you. A breath of fresh air is always amazing after a suffocating relationship, isn't it?! Keep trucking girl. I'll treasure your thank you's always. All my love.


Anonymous said...

Hey botch

I just seen this now and am i ever touchd that one entry is about my letter. Here comes a little cheese , lol
Thanks again for the realness and being you. , this totally made my day.
Awuh, me being blind  C'man now, you def deserve more than any sweet emails. You deserve the world , and everything in it .Xoxoxo 

Cheers to both of us! <3