Wednesday, May 2, 2012


I wish that everyone in my life could get along. That isn't the case. Certain people won't like certain people, okay. Fine. I get that. I find it fucking shitty though, especially when said people have a common denominator.. Botch!
Friends are going to step into my life, and they are going to step out. I can't stop that. In fact, sometimes I force that. That isn't meant to sound sad either, it just fucking happens. Certain things happen in your life that make your life fucking awesome, certain things happen in your life that aren't so fucking awesome. Our only job as human beings, are to take these things and work with them. You can't ALWAYS have rainbows and butterflies. You're going to get a crap load of shit lame ass fucking dirty brutal son of a bitch pussy type days. I know this because I've experienced them. My consistent flaw in playing out these days is giving everyone who feeds them to me; one more shot.. I shouldn't even say one more shot, I should say five zillion more shots.
My best nights have been those I haven't planned. BECAUSE OF THAT, I try to never plan. Good comes when it does, I'll take that. You can't ask for it. It doesn't work that way.
Some time ago, someone very, very, very close to me decided they needed a break from me. I was never mad at the fact, nor hurt. I understood why they chose that path, and am completely content knowing we will some day re-connect. A while before that, someone close to me had passed. Before that, I had to get on a plane and leave another person close to me. Before that I had to completely cut myself off from another person close to me.
Best friends. Family. Boyfriends. Ex-boyfriends. Sometimes you just have to let go of things, and go to sleep knowing that those who matter will stick around. It's just that.. it comes at a later date. Those that don't, well.. You're missing out on the best un-planned kick it til 5 in the morning nights.
I will never consider "waiting", "waiting". "Waiting" is just living, isn't it? When the un-expected comes knocking, I'll always check the peep hole. It's up to me as a home-owner on whether I choose to answer or not.. and I fully depend on the most important people in my life to respect that choice. So far, everyone important has, those who haven't- left, and never knocked again.
As to what I was originally getting at, with people in my life not getting along with other people.. Well.. I'll hold everyone in a separate room as long as I need to.. As long as those people understand that I'm going to re-visit my other guests as needed. If you can't get with that, you can't get with Botch, thunn.