OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

As much as I thoroughly enjoy hate comments and emails, I've been getting a lot more as of late. The funny thing about the internet is that there's so much of it! You'd think that if all these trick ass wannabe internet thugs hated me so much, they'd take the time to click off to another website.. Instead of taking the time to write me emails or comments about how much they despise me. I mean, really, if that truly were the case, wouldn't you just avoid everything Botch? Nah, though. You're still here, still reading, still throwing me another hit. Oooooorrrr.. Maybe yall just mad 'cause I haven't blogged in a minute. Cute! You miss me!

Fuck off with that hate shit, man.

I'm just saying.

OH.

It's 4 am. I'm awake, and so is my mind.

I wish I approached this differently.

OH HAAAAYYYYY.

I'd say what I need to say, if I knew how to say it.

HEAD FULL OF HURT PRIDE, A CLOSET FULL OF PHANTOMS.

I'M AROUND!

You know, just tryna make it. Staying up all night, work and sports all day, and trying to build.. something. I still say "amazing" way too much and don't have a Halloween costume. I've followed some foxy females into a group called the United Nations. They're basically the bossiest bitches on the planet. I've also come to terms that the Last 3 Digits remix of Duck Sauce's "The Big Bad Wolf" is possibly crack.. and that "Pussy Marijuana" by David Sebastian is meth. Both of which I choose to indulge in daily. The music, of course. Hugs, never drugs. Esco is getting bigger, but she's still cuddly. I am itching for some sort of ink or piercing in my life. The Greenroom is officially my favorite spot, just like you promised. Redman is still that dude, even when he's solo, I will see him live for the rest of my life. The screening of the Tribe documentary was so good that I went twice. Grippin Grain was, is, and always will be my favorite day of the month. Four Loko is still running through our veins and it hurts a pain that's so good. Fall is here, and so are fall boots! I need to dye my hair. I love the color red right now, and deep reds. Love affair with lipstick. Feeling extremely bossy lately, even if all these endless nights have punished the fuck out of my health. Yep, I'm sick. Reading three different books at the same time confuses me, but I do it anyway. I'm thankful for everything, even the bad shit. If you want to get at me, you probably shouldn't call me. I'm all about the texting and emailing lately. I just don't have time for phone calls. Never about the bull shit lately. If these dudes wanna run game on me, expect Botch in the worst way. I can rip your soul out with words and a sly smile. Alex is still gone and it's still hard, Perla is still my baby, my friends are supportive, ill bitches, and everyone else can go suck it. This isn't a proper paragraph, and neither is my mind. Line breaks are for pussies.

"Botcho, write a blog entry already!!", heard it fifty thousand times already. Need a laptop, right meow. Bloggin on my phone? Apparently. I'm addicted to my phone.

Did I miss anything?!

Oh, I'd like to make out now. Hmph.

LOVE IS LOVE, LOVE. LOVE IS LOVE, LOVE.

JOSE CUERVO'D.

All my favorites. One big room, full of boss friends.

WEEKEND LIFE.

I wish that Jose Cuervo was Four Lokos, but.. it wasn't. Puking in a lounge and getting away with it has accomplishment written all over it! AND, it wasn't me! No throw up here, just a boozy bitch hangin out with some boozy bitches. Good lawd, I love my friends. They always quick to the rescue with some, "Everything will be fine, Botch! Let's have fun!". Avoiding the troll looking dudes who wanna start a conversation just because we in the same corner. You should see this shit. We work like a fucking heist team, unlocking a bank safe with skill and team work. Shit is beautiful. Hello Apan!
We ended up cabbing last night, and this Russian cabbie was hella trying to take us home. I guess that shows how slizzered we were.. at like 11:30. TIME AND TEQUILA JUST KEPT FLOWING. Surprisingly, the mix of vodka, beer, tequila and crown didn't upset my insides. Maribeth got a little down, and I tend to let her stay there cause her second wind hits like a tornado.. then she all about it. I love her.. and Kaitlin. These broads are fire.
My friend Amber had a rough night.. It's hard to believe that things like this still happen? I've always been anti-violence and anti-drugs.. but when it comes to people I love getting hurt, I can only wish the worst upon such lames.

Anyway, the month of parties continue. See you tonight, Jose.

THICK SMOKE, CHOKIN.

AND THE CLOCKS DON'T WORK, YOU DON'T GOTTA CHECK THE TIME.. AND ALL I WANNA DO IS LEAVE 'CAUSE I'VE BEEN ZONING FOR A WEEK..

I just wanna have sex to the Weeknd, all the time.

Stay the fuck out of my business, my biznazz. That's what the fuck my blog is for, anything I ever want people to know is here. Fucking creep.

GET FAMILIAR.

WE'VE BEEN GOING HARD, BABY.

I don't know what I want.. the only thing that I'm absolutely positively fucking sure of right now, is that I want SOMETHING. What is it though? I don't fucking know. So if you talk to me, or try to get answers out of me, you're not going to fucking get them. That's not being said in a bad tone either, that's being said in an "I'm sorry." kind of tone. I'M JUST A FUCKED UP GIRL, LOOKING FOR HER OWN PIECE OF MIND. Buying a plane ticket seems to be the only thing on my mind right now. Everything else is just fuckin' mush! "Botch, you're talking nonsense".. since when did I not? Everything disappears and is okay when you have music and loud voices around you. Call me a bitch, call me annoying, call me wrong. I'm just trying to figure myself out. EVERYTHING'S SO EASY WHEN YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT IT! Where the fuck did my sane go? Botch went crazy.

Method Man is still that dude..! *sigh.

MAKE IT BIG.

If I'm not involved in music, at least I can share it.

NASTY !

Today is the best day of my life, because of this!!!!!!!!!

IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO TELL YET..

These past few weeks have been crazy. I've made life choices and party choices. I can't remember the last time I've actually slept during the night. I've always hated when people say that, "I haven't slept in weeks". I considered it to be an act or a phony testament of how cool that person is.. but fuck! Seriously, I haven't slept in weeks.

so, go ahead and get lost..
Good things have happened, bad things have happened. Some how though, I've been learning to accept bad things a little better now. So much bad shit happens to me, and a lot of it is my own fault.. so why should I host a pity party for myself when I'm the one who made the invitations? No fucking more. There's a lot of good going on right now, and I choose to pay attention to that, and nothing else.

I've met soooo many amazing people these past few weeks, it's ridiculous. I'm so thankful for everything going on right now.. even with all the bad, annoying shit.

Maseo was amazing. He played more disco and funk than hip hop which wasn't minded at all. The crowd was minimal, but fuuuck, who needs a crowd when the music is that good. I feel like sometimes people don't understand that you can attend a show for the music, without giving a fuck about anything else.

Kings of Leon was a blast. Nothing like being front stage for a huge concert. Is there something ridiculous attractive about guitarists smoking? Really though, every time he took that cigarette and placed it in between the strings and the bridge of his guitar, I thought I was going to bust a nut.. right there.





University held a speaking by Jeff Chang. Jeff Chang is the author of "Can't Stop, Won't Stop". A piece of literature that every single person who appreciates hip hop should pick up. About six years ago, I won a writing award that allowed me to get one book off amazon for free. I ordered "Can't Stop, Won't Stop". The people in charge of the award kind of questioned my actions, but I didn't care. I highlighted that shit to shreds, and had notes all over it like it was a textbook. A falling out with my exboyfriend ended up in him ripping the book to pieces.. and it wasn't until two years after that where I got a second copy for my birthday. This book literally at one point, was my life.. so you can imagine how awe-struck I was meeting him.. and I was with good company. It was a perfect fucking moment in my life, and I'll treasure it forever. Not to mention, I got to meet him. I think I blabbed something in between stomach butterflies and nervous hand-shaking about, "YOU'RE AMAZING! AH". Yeah, "amazing", the only adjective I know. hahaha.




Richard and Marti's birthday wasn't exactly a success, but it certainly was a good time. Whenever I get to see the slur of all of these fucking people, I get all kinds of excited. I love my friends to the death of me, and can't wait for round 2, tonight! Eek!

When it comes to Canada, or football, or fireworks, or hockey.. I instantly feel connected to my dad. So last night's NHL party really hit home. Glad I ended up coming out for that, it was worth every second.




In summary, life is good. Let's hope it stays like this for awhile. Happy weekend. I hope the work I put in will make up for the lack of entries lately.

And hey Alex, I haven't forgotten about you.
Know that.

Happy Thanksgiving, xo!

EVERY DAY IS ELEVATION.

Are these guys really playing dice right now?


Yes, yes they are.

It'S A PARTY, IT'S A PARTY, IT'S A PARTY.

It's still good!


Five second rule!










Cute.

THE PARTY'S FINISHED AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW..

LIFE, YOU SO CRAZY..

I THINK I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABY..



















You know it's a party when my hair goes up. Jus' sayin'.