SUMMER BETTERINGS.

Hey guys! Here are some summer things that I'm gonna try to accomplish! I might need some steering in the right direction, so if you see me going off track, help me, will ya?!

- Blog more.
- Write something every day.
- Put at least $500 on my credit card by July.
- Work out, I'm being lenient on this one. Take a walk, go up some stairs, do five sit ups. Fucking anything will do because working out is .. haha.
- Tie 5 ribbons at Anthony's tree.
- Be calmer, anxiety is no fun.
- Have at least one date a week with a friend/friends.
- Be nicer to everyone, even people I dislike. Forgive, and most importantly, try to have a better understanding of people.

Ugh, this all sounds hard. Love always,
the laziest bum always doing bum hobo tangs

BOUNCING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE HEALING AND THE HOLLERING.

March is get your ass on track month. I'm a sad, emotional, party-going wreck right now. Breaking down for a half hour and laughing the next. I've been fighting inner demons but maybe not to my fullest potential. I really miss my cousin. It hurts more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. BUT. I'm okay. I'm pushing and pushing to be okay. Some days, I am. Other days, I'm a little crazy. The group of people around me is so supportive that it makes anything appear possible even when I haven't achieved shit all yet. YET. Key word y'all, yet.

I'm not gonna sit here and rant about how you should feel sorry for me. I've always hated people who did that. People who feed you their petty problems. Whenever someone comes to me crying, my mind is yelling "Ugh get over it!". SO. I know how that is, people. I've never really known of a person or story of someone who was exactly where they wanted to be. I mean, everyone always wants to improve their situation, right?

I'm a private person when it comes to emotional stress, as well as emotional well-being. Although it's funny, my number one shoulder to cry on is a blog.. which in essence, isn't very private at all. Unless no one reads it, then fuck. WHERE ARE WE GOING WITH THIS?!

Okay. Here's what I really want to say. I don't want to approach the world with how I'm feeling, because I'd always rather write about it than speak it. This way it's a choice on whether you would like to see what goes on in this girl's fucked up head, or whether you'd click on to a Photo Friday. Either choice won't hurt me. I've been an independent psychopath since forever. I said psychopath as a joke, I'm really not going crazy. I am having a fun time right now. I am beginning to prioritize on paper, but need to relay these goals to reality, it's tough but I'm working on the discipline part. I am a little sad but I am handling it in a healthy way. My friends rule. Hip hop is life. Wu-Tang forever. Love is love.

Fuck you March, I'm going to destroy you.

Mean mugs, up.

LENT.

The last time I went ahead with Lent was two years ago. I gave up alcohol for the 40 days, and succeeded. I actually have always fully fulfilled my lent promises. I've given up carbonated drinks, fast food, and pork & beef. I've decided to go ahead with lent this year. My original idea was to give up giving up.. but since I feel that isn't strong enough.. I'm going to do more. I'm currently on the slow pace to becoming a vegetarian, I've started with "no meat mondays". I feel like it's a commitment you need to feel passionate about to achieve, and I just haven't been trying hard enough. "No meat Mondays" has been going on for about four weeks now. I had planned to add one more day a week every month, but thus far haven't for March.
I've given up white rice as my new year's resolution (slipping three times, twice to sushi and once to dinner at b's house, damn that nalaga). SOOOOOOOOO in perspective, I already have given up a few things.. but let's dig deeper. For the next forty days, I will continue to not eat white rice, I will not eat meat on mondays AND wednesdays, I will give up pork AND beef (limiting myself to chicken and seafood), AAANNNNNDD!!!!!!!! I will throw down AT LEAST, $1000 onto my VISA. Good luck Botch.
What are you giving up?

COMING SOON.

i'm bringing back the 25 series. i don't know if that means anything to anybody, or if that's exciting or blah news, but it's coming. stay tuned son, it's coming.
all i've been thinking about lately is new year's resolutions. a couple weeks back i was like "fuck it, i'm happy with the way things are". then my mom hit me up with a phone conversation that went something like, "do something". whoa! mom! you don't hold back for no one. i was kind of taken back at first, but.. BUT, she's right. i haven't been hard enough on myself, it takes a mom to actually get you in that "stop fuckin' around and buckle down" type mind state. i fuck around way too much, lol. so with that said, here's my hefty list of new year's resolutions for 2011.. but of course, you gotta get lost.

BOTCH'S GET 'ER DONE 2011
- absolutely no white rice for one year
- cut down cigarettes to three/four a day except when drinking
- get a job, ANY JOB.
- have at least $1000 saved by may.
- order/eat out once a week, AT THE MOST.
- get a tattoo/piercing
- take two vaycays
- blog at least twice a week
- talk to my mom at least once a week
- get my credit card paid off by summer

that's the plan stan. i'll give you updates as the year goes.. i just finished writing out the list in hard copy. it'll be for my desk so i see it often, and i'll write out another to keep in my wallet or some shit. this is going to be a better year for me, i'm 100% focused right now.. and i want it now more than ever, so fuck! esco! let's go!

p.s. my camera keeps trying to commit suicide, but i always catch the bitch half way into it's attempt. it's holding on, but by a very thin thread. it no longer takes videos, zooms, and you kind of have to hit it when you turn it on. so.. you know, it's good times. picture posts won't be as grand as they were when they were still shitty pictures taken on a shit camera. hey, yeah, fun!

I GOT BIG PLANS, BIG PLANS..

so a little over a year ago, i made a list of goals that i wanted to complete within a year.. you can revisit that list of goals, HERE... i should have updated with how i did earlier, but it completely slipped my mind.. so whatever! it's here now, let's take a look at what we got done.. bitches.

1. swim in the ocean / status: COMPLETED!
i am clear that in these pics i am not swimming in the ocean, but they are either right before.. or right after.. i am also clear that my bum is extremely white.. LOL it was october give me a break!







2. make out in the rain / status: INCOMPLETE
didn't get to.. hmph.

3. eat something i haven't eaten before / status: COMPLETED!

i dunno if drinks really count, but fuck off, i haven't tried any of the above.. and then i tried them all in one day! i love happy hour!





4. snowboard / status: INCOMPLETE
wahh wahh

5. go camping / status : INCOMPLETE

6. attend a baseball game / status: COMPLETED!
new york yankees vs. toronto blue jays




7. get an autograph / status: COMPLETED!
i got more than one, but i didn't take pictures of any:(


8. rock the bells / status: INCOMPLETE

9. chicago / status: INCOMPLETE

10. travel to 5 different cities! / status: COMPLETED!
manila, philippines. toronto, ontario. seoul, korea. vancouver, british columbia. puerto galera, mindoro.






11. blow out candles on my birthday (it's been so long!) / status: COMPLETED!



12. win money in poker $$ / status: INCOMPLETE

13. meet nas / status: INCOMPLETE

14. spit off of a bridge / status: COMPLETED!
didn't get a pic of it, but i did it!

15. break a beer bottle / status: COMPLETED!
unfortunately, i didn't take any pics of a broken beer bottle.. but here's two pics from nights that i did.



16. go to a concert with my sister / status: COMPLETED!



17. go to a concert / status: COMPLETED!


18. go to a concert / status: COMPLETED!




19. go to a concert / status: COMPLETED!




20. go to a concert (i wanna attend at least 5 within a year!) / status: COMPLETED!


i even went to extra concerts!! including, shiny toy guns, raekwon (i went twice), keys n krates (twice), lupe fiasco and mooore..









21. get another job / status: INCOMPLETE
dammit.

22. blaze on the beach / status: COMPLETED!



23. tag shit up like crazy / status: INCOMPLETE
does this count?! lol



24. get a really bad ass scrape from rollerblading / status: COMPLETED!
damn the staircase railing. damn it! but thanks:)


25. become "spit" brothers with someone / status: COMPLETED!
i did this the same day i spit over a bridge.. lots of spit everywhere! no pic though:(

26. get a tattoo / status: COMPLETED!


27. be on a stage / status: INCOMPLETE

28. new york / status: INCOMPLETE

29. paris / status: INCOMPLETE

30. tokyo / status: INCOMPLETE

31. introduce myself to a random stranger / status: COMPLETED!
strangers i met this year include..



plus many more.. thanks strangers!

32. feed a homeless person / status: INCOMPLETE

33. make a t-shirt / status: INCOMPLETE

34. get something/ANYTHING published / status: INCOMPLETE
i think this is the one i wanted the most, and it didn't happen. womp.

35. get my blog hits to 15000 hahahaha / status: COMPLETED!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING MY BLOG. i appreciate it so much! & WE DOUBLED my goal and then some, so thank you thank you thank you !!

36. touch a palm tree / status: COMPLETED!


so there you have it! i wanted to complete at least ten, which i did.. but i also wish i did a lot better.. looking back though, i have done A LOT in the past year. i plan to make a new list to complete within a year again, so if you have any suggestions, post them below..
I ALSO PLAN, to do a better job of documenting it all:)

thanks for everything people.

also on the song, "light up" with jay and drake.. jay goes fucking hard, so listen to it right now.

"drake, here's how they gonna come at you.. with silly rap feuds tryna distract you, in diguise, in the form of a favor, the barzini meeting, watch for the traitors.."

goodness! if you've seen the godfather, barzini is the family that set up vito.. fucking craziness.. dare i say.. hova's back?