WE ALL TRY - A MIX BY KILUSAN

You can always count on Kilusan to dig deep into your feels and take you on a musical journey of healing. Love is tough and love is beautiful. Love is hard and love is wonderful. Be it on your own or partnered up, this mix offers a taste of what it is to love. Yes, it certainly is 7 in the morning. Grab a coffee and let Summer Walker's voice join you, let smooth vocals join you, let your feels join you, and let's ride out this R&B mix like we fully updating our 2020 AsianAvenue relationship status.

Xo,

Botch

IT WAS GOOD UNTIL IT WASN'T.

A monthly playlist of everything I listened to in May. I actually listened to a lot of music this month and made time to curate this one. I hope it finds you well.



Xx

THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL

I'm just in the cut sittin' sideways
Way that you lookin' all the time
Time gets to tickin' and it takes a toll
Told you I couldn't really draw the line
Line ringin', sayin' that you told him things
Things that you could've kept inside
Sidetrackin' me when I was good to you
You were somebody I would stand behind

I know you like to drink 'til the sun up
Grind 'til you come up
Work all winter, shine all summer
Ride for your brother
You die for your mother
Keep that shit a hunna
I know you wanna
Vacay to a place where you could
Take pictures, post on Insta
Your friends say they miss ya
But they don't really miss ya

Rule number one, to be a boss-ass bitch
Never let a clown nigga try to play you
If he play you, then rule number two
Is fuck his best friends and make 'em yes men

I'm just in the cut sittin' sideways
Way that you lookin' all the time
Time, it done left you with a broken heart
Hardly excuses how you play with mine
Mindin' my business and you show up
Up to no good, I should've seen the signs
Signin' me up to do your dirty work
Workin' to try to get you off my mind

Trouble neglect you, angels protect you

DOING IT WRONG.

We live in a generation of not being in love, and not being together
But we sure make it feel like we're together
Because we're scared to see each other with somebody else

I WITNESS NEWS.

GONE ALL THE TIME, EVEN THE IMPORTANT TIMES.

What happened to his voice? I confuse.

AMANDA BYNES.

Remember "What I Like About You" Amanda Bynes?! Ah, those were the days. I honestly feel like this whole thing is just her throwing a tantrum. At least, that's what I hope for. Remember when she posted all those tweets about Drake, and everyone talked about it for a couple days then got over it. It's like she's re-living that. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE KID CUDI TWEETS. She used to be the best. What happened?!




Yikes.

SATURDAY NIGHT.

"YOUR MIND DON'T CONTROL WHAT IT DOES SOMETIMES. WE ALL HAVE OUR NIGHTS THOUGH, DON'T BE SO ASHAMED. I'VE HAD MINE, YOU'VE HAD YOURS, WE BOTH KNOW, WE KNOW."

- DRIZZY.

GET THE FUCK UP OFF MY BLOG, CONFUSIN ME WITH QUESTIONS, LIKE.. "DO YOU LOVE THIS SHIT? ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? DO YOU EVER GET NERVOUS? I HEARD YOU FUCKED THIS DUDE, IS IT TRUE? YOU GETTIN MONEY? YOU THINK THEM PEOPLE YOU WITH IS WITH YOU?!!????" AND I SAY..

HELL YEAH, HELL YEAH, HELL YEAH. FUCKIN RIGHT, FUCKIN RIGHT, ALRIGHT.

THAT'S JUST SOMETHIN' TO DO, WHEN THERE'S NOTHIN' TO DO..

"SHE DON'T WANT NO WEEKEND, SHE WANTS ALL OF ME OR NONE OF ME."

- DRAKE.

DRAKE - TAKE CARE

He did it. He came through with an album that would take every Drake "hater", sit them down, and tell them, "Hey, listen, I'm just saying what I feel here". We hear that in his first song alone with, "the backpackers are back on the bandwagon/ like this was my comeback season/ back, back in the day/". I'll admit.. I wasn't completely satisfied with his first album, and that backpack line hit me hard. I've never claimed to be a backpacker, but I certainly feel like it was directed toward people like me. Those who gave the Torontonian a hard time actually shook their heads in shame, at least I did. May I still complain about that "paint dryin" line though, yo Drizzy, we're over that kindergarten shit.
He stepped on to the stage with this one. It still holds Weezy on it, but is definitely less Weezy influenced. Although he still plays homeage to Weezy with the "clock on the wall" reference. Who are we kidding? He had to. Never forget where yo came from. This is actually DRAKE. He found his flow and his cadence, without trying to grab styles from Wayne. That's heard on "Headlines". Anyone who can change their style that many times on one track, deserves a little bit of an applause.
Other guests that appear include Andre 3000, Rihanna (my least fav song on the album), Rozay, Stevie Wonder and others.
"We'll be Fine" is my absolute favorite. GOOD GOD. Production was handled by 40 and Tminus for this one, and they went crazy for this one. The production on here sticks a fist into your chest, and it feels good. It feels damn good. Other production on the album include the Weeknd, Chantal Kreviazuk (WHAT! Curaze), Just Blaze, Jamie XX and more. Drake himself even co-produced three songs, and it's nice to see him test those waters. An eclectic mix, for an eclectic album. Every song is different and has a different vibe to it with the same message.. Drake has grown up.

My favorite lines include:

"long as the outcome is in the income"

"shout out to the asian girls, let the lights dim some (sum)"

"first I made you who you are, then I made it/ and you're wasted with your ladies/ yeah I'm the reason why you always gettin' faded/ take a shot for me/"

"started not to give a fuck and stopped fearin the consequence"

"even though dyin' isn't in the plans/ but neither was makin' it and here I am"

"you ain't the only one tryin to be my only one"

3.5/5

Enjoy and take care. lol, I'm lame.

"SHE SAYS, 'KISS ME LIKE YOU MISS ME, FUCK ME LIKE YOU HATE ME, AND WHEN YOU'RE FUCKING SOMEONE ELSE, JUST FUCK HER LIKE SHE AIN'T ME.'"

- DRAKE.

YEAH I NEEDED THAT.

As my hesitant love for Drake continues.. this video and song.. win.

"SHE JUST STARTED TO POP IT FOR A NIGGA AND LOOKED BACK AND TOLD ME, 'BABY IT'S REAL.' AND I SAY I AIN'T DOUBT YOU FOR A SECOND, I SQUEEZE IT AND I CAN TELL HOW IT FEEL."

- DRAKE.

"JEALOUSY'S SOMETHING I HAVEN'T FELT FOR YEARS. THERE'S NOBODY AROUND FOR ME TO BE JEALOUS OF.. THEY JUST NEED TO ENJOY IT. TRY AND MAKE IT BETTER INSTEAD OF TRYIN TO DESTROY IT.. ENJOY YOURSELF."

- DRAKE.

.. AND HER FRIEND'S SAYING HE AIN'T THE ONE TO GO FOR..

"SHE JUST JEALOUS 'CAUSE YOU ALWAYS GET APPROACHED MORE. OH, WELL. TELL HER, 'FALL BACK'."

- DRAKE.

CRY ME A RIVER..

BUILD A BRIDGE & GET OVER IT!

an late photo friday is better than no photo friday?! here's what life's been looking like..







never being home, taking care of a new puppy has made my room one place of pure mess fuckery.






i took these pictures so they could be my "before" pictures.. because i totally cleaned that shit to fucking awesome, but it seems every time alex comes over, my room goes back to disaster mode.. so you're gonna have to wait on the after pictures, i'll clean it again.. *sigh.


summer is never complete without the tan.


heatbags.


i'm so dark my make up don't match my face no mores. i hereby give my oath to wear little to nil make up for the rest of summah.


smush.


drink all day.




no flash photography equals awezumm pictures.. don't cha know.




cudder.


cudder dunzo's before midnight.


princess party !


we're darker than you! yayurr!


cupcakes + beer


= a good time

DRAKE, sucked.. but at least we snuck from like row 27 to the stage.. yesssss.


i want your shirt woman!


see, we're too far.


throw your ones up in the air?


is that drake or an imposter? i'm too far to see. so FUCK THIS SHIT.


that's more like it.


this still sucks! hahahah


but at least we're in the "action".


this is security. he hated me. he yelled at me like 45 million times.. i'm sorry i'm so rowdy.


he kept on shouting out the city as if we were important to him.


but i know he could give a fuck.


nice tan pink nails. what's your secret?


lol..




i will never be further than front row for anything people. NEVER.


oh you so comical.


five million pictures of drizzy for your minds.

AND LEMME INTRODUCE YOU TO ESCO!


i'll do a drake review some time this week, but to preview, it's going to a go a little something like this : "boo drake, boo."

MASHED UP MIXTAPE MONDAY!

so since i've been saying how i'ma do all these reviews but haven't really gotten around to do them. i've decided to blurt out all my current thoughts on music. both over-due and new. skippin a mixtape today, more like a music monday ;) AW. cute naman.. hit the jump.KID CUDI + KANYE WEST - ERASE ME (SONG)
i don't care what anyone says. this song is so fucking cool. it's so different. kanye's verse is mediocre, but he again, steps outta the circle. & i can appreciate that. & how does cudder swing his voice in such different (but good) ways?! PLUS, i don't know about y'all, but i've DEFINITELY felt this way about dudes. blazing joint. 4/5 because of extreme pushin boundaries, being versatile, a killer hook, & my obsession w/cudder.

NAS & DAMIAN MARLEY - DISTANT RELATIVES (ALBUM)
amazing album, FRONT TO BACK. if you haven't heard this album yet, STOP SLEEPING. & if you haven't bought it yet, GO BUY IT. actually, fuck even listening to it before you buy it, go buy it. it's fucking gold. nas' flow and delivery is impeccable and damian adds truth and heart that makes this album pretty fucking close to perfection. GO.

DRAKE - THANK ME LATER (ALBUM)
drake's over-rated, his album is mediocre.. with too many fucking hooks, too many guest appearances, and not in comparison to his mixtape.. BUT, but, i don't hate it. so stop grilling me for hating drake. 2.5/5.. i LOVE fancy though. omfg do i love fancy. live on fancy, LIVE ON. all of that rating is because fancy saved it.

EMINEM - RECOVERY (ALBUM)
i'll be honest. i've never really been "excited" for em. & i haven't listened to the album. from what i have heard, which is 4 songs.. i'm not going to rate it, but i will say that i can hear the maturity. em's growing, and that's exciting news. anyone who uses music as their tool for emotion, growth, and well-being; well, they're something special. it's nice to see em getting lyrical again. i'm not going to rush out and grab this, because i, personally, believe that his next album will beat this one by a trillion.

BLACK MILK - HOW DARE YOU (SONG)
black milk continues to grow with every new thing he releases. those drums are redic. could easily do without that horn though. his flow keeps getting crispier.. my only complaint is why is this so short?! FEED ME MORE.

PACKFM - I FUCKING HATE RAPPERS (SONG)
THIS SONG IS A BEEEASSSTTT!! dude put everything i ever felt into a song. i've played it at least seven times today alone! "hip hop changed my life, dilla changed your t-shirt". YES. mother fuck yes. speaks the truth.. and that jazzy type blues rock beat.. mother fuck yeah. i can get down. this flow is FUCKING IIILLL. way to take it back to hip hop for a second, without even spitting anything remotely "conscious". fuck preaching, say what you fucking mean. dude did it. nom nom. eat that shit. nom 4/5

so this past week has been a rager every single fucking day. drama drama drama and of course ex-boyfriend cameos.. and now, NOW.. I'M ALL BY MY LONESOME FOR TWO WEEKS. no friends, no boyfriend. just me in this city. what's a girl to do?! hmph.

MUSIC AND THE WEEKEND!

good news flooded the day, and it makes me feel awesome. i've been spending my free time laying down and listening to mixtapes. i haven't done that in a long time, just taking in music. for a minute i was throwing albums on, listening to them, without really listening to them, i finally took some time to actually LISTEN. so, with that being said, yall can expect reviews on:
kid cudi - a kid named cudi
drake - drake drizzy rogers
illogic - diabolical fun
blu - her favorite colo(u)r
tony yayo - swine flu
.. sometime. haha i dunno when yet. & i know that cudi and blu are so over-due yall probably are like "what?!", you can suck my dick. i do what i do when i do it. i've also decided that i'll do a video week posting, that should get done later tonight.. if not, tomorrow. it is un-officially the weekend and i'm excited as fuck. i'm also broke as fuck, which conflicts with the excitement emotion but i'm happy to just.. chill. not like i haven't been "chill", i haven't been doing shit! i'll try and get two more mixtapes in this week so i'll have a review with every video post..
p.s. fuck bitches, get money.. and give the money to me, ok thanks..!