"PRETTY GIRLS LIKE YOU SHOULDN'T CRY."

- ALEX R.

BIRTHDAYYYS.

It's been six months since we've been together. Six months. AND ALLLTHOUUUGGHHH, we keep it civil most days, arguments still come. AND ALLLLTHOUUUGGHHH, I tell you I absolutely hate your guts.. it isn't true. You're one of the dopest people to ever step foot into my life. You're kind, you're smart, you're fit, and you're completely in love with me.. and I don't know why you are! But you are! And I promise, to stick around.
I remember the first time you told me your birthday was on Valentine's Day, and I didn't believe you. You had to show me your driver's license and I was still, "Is this legit?!". I'm pretty positive you were given your birthday because of your huge heart. Seriously, that thing stretches for miles. How do you do it?! You've helped me out a lot, and I've discovered so many things thanks to you. I owe you a zillion for that.
You're truly some kind of wonderful, and I wish you all the best today. It's your birthday! And since we're both valentine-less, we'll both be gettin drunk tonight! Cheers to my lonerism, and to your birthday! You deserve the world, don't ever doubt that you can't get it. I most certainly believe that you can. I'll toast to you tonight, I hope you hear the clank:)

And yo, clean your room.

WITHDRAWLS.

Unnnff. Wish that was in my bed right now.

WENT TO SLEEP IN PARIS, WOKE UP IN TOKYO.

SCARBOROUGH WITHDRAWLS.

I dislike not being able to smush my cold face into his warm back. I dislike not waking up to "Botch, let's wake up". I dislike eating dinner by myself. I dislike reaching to the right side of the bed to grasp nothing. I dislike being cold. I dislike having to light my cigarettes myself. I dislike not being able to bang whenever I want.
I fucking miss Alex so much right now, it's stupid. I'm pretty boy crazy, but even right now.. a hot dude is just like.. "Ugh, you probably listen to shit music and hate smokers or something". THIS IS DUMB! What I wouldn't give to be having a beer with the cudder right now! Or even laying in his lap while he watches sports. Fuck this "no Alex in my life" bull shit. Bull shit.

WENT TO SLEEP IN PARIS, WOKE UP IN TOKYO.

"I JUST WANT A JOB THAT MAKES PEOPLE REALLY, REALLY, HAPPY. THE ONLY IDEA THAT I'VE COME UP WITH SO FAR ARE THE PEOPLE THAT GO TO THE DOORS OF HOUSES TO TELL PEOPLE THEY WON A CAR OR A SHIT LOAD OF MONEY."

- SCARBOROUGH

NOW I KNOW WE FAR FROM PERFECT, BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS IS WORTH IT..

do you disagree with that? if not, then holler back.. and tell ya girl, you'll call her back.

sooo this weekend was a complete keep to myself weekend. i stayed home all weekend.. which was good for me. my thoughts wandered between pets and sadness, but i was also able to grasp a firm hold on being complacent with the way things turned out. christmas is coming faster than i can handle, and so are finals. i don't know what i want to do next year, where i want to live (winnipeg/toronto), or where i want to go to school.. so i plan not to make any decisions until february/march.. i don't even plan to think about it til then. alex is thinking of taking a firefighter course (in toronto). currently a lifeguard, possibly an up-coming fireman? can he be any more of a stud?!
i feel like even though things are moving so fucking slow and routine right now, that things are right. all i need is a clean base, and i'm set.. a winning lottery ticket would be a cherry on top, but i won't complain. tomorrow is monday, the start of a hectic week, yet again. i'm not even close to being ready for it, but i'm looking forward to it? hope everyone had a good weekend. ta ta.

A 15TH MOMENT WITH BOTCH.

i'm allergic to beer. yeah. i don't really tell people that. half of that is because i don't want people telling me not to drink it, and half of it because i feel like that sounds totally fiction. it just became an "allergy" last winter, and i was pretty heart-broken when i found out. so after a few nights of heavy beer drinking, i get hives on my arms and face. it's good times. it's basically the worst thing i could ever be allergic to. my skin is damned sensitive, and beer sets it off.. but i won't stop drinking it. it's a love/hate relationship, but mostly love. i'm really not allergic to anything else, i have never been allergic to anything.. but i'm anemic, and my immune system is shot to shit. they say it's a temporary allergy to yeast (beer has too much), and that it'll go away. so by doctor's orders, i eat as much yogurt as possible to kill off yeast so my arms and face stay non-itchy. & if that's not disgusting enough for ya, i can also throw in that i haven't shaved my legs in two weeks. hahaha. sorry gentlemen, the line starts two blocks down!
i might be friends with djs, and know some people, but i never ask for vip treatment, nor to be on any vip lists. it's just not my deal. if it's ever offered, i'll take it.. but i refuse to ever become a person looking to get anything from anyone. regardless of who i know, or how many people i know, i try to stay as humble as possible. i highly believe in equality, and i also believe that if people think i deserve something, they'll give it to me without asking.. HOWEVER, i will keep my purse by the dj booth when given the shot, but that's only cuz my drunk ass is done tired of getting my shit stolen.
the main things in my life right now are: my usuals, my boyfriend, weekends, kid cudi, nerd's nothing, cigarettes, beer, and reading. i am so obsessed with the previously mentioned right now, it's ridiculous. i can't get enough of any of that shit.
i love to eat. like seriously, love. i'm always down for new foods and things i haven't had before. sometimes i get a little nervous if it's like, duck tongue or something (which btw, is mediocre), but i'll still do it. all cultures, all styles, i love to eat. take me out !
i went through a bully stage as a kid.. and not where i was bullied, but where i was the bully. it was elementary, and this girl was my best friend. we'll call the said girl, rachel.. eventually, new friends came along, and basically told me rachel was talking shit about me. even though i knew the "new friends" were lying, it was hard for me to leave this big group of friends, so i turned on rachel. i made her life a living hell. pushing her into fences, swatting books out of her hand, calling her names in the hallway.. ugh, i was horrible. i never really apologized to her.. in high school, i made an effort to talk to her, to kind of shrug off what i did, and we became acquaintances. after that one year of being a bully, i hated myself, and made it a promise to never treat anyone like shit who was un-deserving.. i eventually started talking to anyone in school, no matter what their social status. maybe not full out conversations, but a "hi" in the hallways. i still owe her an apology though.. i hope one day to man up and do it. HOWEVER, half of me is nice to people, and half of me is still that girl with "new friends". i fight between the two constantly.
i feel like you assholes don't comment enough. this isn't a one way street people! stop bitching the fuck out! i'm kidding.. kind of.
i love reading out-loud. when a teacher called on me to read a section in class, i was so fuckin' down for that shit.
the most common comment i get about myself is that i have a nice voice.. but i can't sing for shit.
i have had about ten people total, of whom i didn't know, approach me in life and mention they read my blog. the feeling never gets dull, nor does it become more of a "reality". every time that shit happens, i'm like, really?! i still think no one reads this fucking shit.


my name is botcho, and this is my blog.

HOLY.

greatest nap in life. i'm still dazed. i don't know why the whole day i get zero phone calls, then everyone calls me while i'm sleeping. haha. i think i'm the best at missing phone calls. so good, i should add it to my resume. tonights plan is to be really laid back since last weekend was a fucking gong show. ready to just relax, but some how.. deep down, i feel like that's not how it's gonna go down. whatevah! after waking up you don't even feel like going out. just in that "ugh, more sleep" mode.. i just need a shower to make it all better.. and like $40. hahaha.
work all weekend, and my boyfriend gets here monday night. so there's something to look forward to. we're both in a "fuck these mother fuckin' phone calls and bitch ass e-mails" mind state. it's been forever and i'm really excited. even though i usually complain about working weekends, i'm glad to work this weekend because this way it'll keep me busy.. and then all of a sudden monday night will be here! the first time i'm actually stoked about a monday :/
when you're away from someone for so long, you start to forget things about them.. actually, i won't say forget, i'll say they sorta just leave your head momentarily. like his smell, and how his hand feels. wtf does he even look like!? i've been watching kid cudi videos all week cause it's the closest i can get to hanging out with my boyfriend.. ENOUGH. i'm ready for the live version.
no photo post today cause you bitches should've already had your fill from halloween. have a good weekend people. they're all us working class got! "botch you haven't even worked in two weeks".. i know! shut up ! lol.