I GOT THE WOW STYLE, ALWAYS BEEN A FOUL CHILD..

Let's all take a moment and just celebrate Big L for a second. Good good. Put it on.

CHEERS.

A few Halloweens ago I bumped into you at a party. I had to go to the bathroom and when I opened the door you were in there. On the floor. With an open briefcase surrounded with fake money. I wasn't even phased, didn't wonder why you were on the floor at all, but I did have one question, "HEY! YAY! What the hell is all this fake money for?!". You replied, "It's for throwing, Jesus you're dumb. Here. Let's get drunk.", and handed me the hugest bottle of the most disgusting vodka I have ever tasted.
We danced and threw money all night.

Still trying to tone down my excitement of the thought of possibly running into you tonight. Wish it were true. Miss you like crazy. Cheers.

WOOOOWWWW..

THROWBACK THURSDAY!

So for those of you who don't know.. I've kept a journal since 1993, and I've been "blogging" since 2005. & I decided to take this Throwback Thursday and look back to see if I had any blog entries from this very day.. well I do.. in 2005.

Current mood: full
Current music: memphis bleek - infatuated
CASHEDD
fuck, it's humid outside, hot sticky weather.. yo. "SO HOT.. KEEP SWEATING !" so the story goes.

so today was the baseball game, which was surprisingly super cool ?! kinda fun. it ended up being me, matthew, cliff, maribeth, mildred, terry & mike chilling for the game. while terry, mike, cliff& i were having a cigarette, a baseball fell from the sky ?! haha ! OUT THE PARK ! terry kept it. it was soo funny though.

after the baseball game, maribeth, mildred and i went to the forks. (this spot by the river with a whole bunch of shops& what not.) mildred left, and maribeth and i were sitting by this fountain, when three guys approach us. one was holding a cigarette, so i asked if i could buy one off him, and he gave me one with the comment "nah you know what, because you're so pretty, you don't have to pay me." thats when we both looked at each other and realized this was gonna be a chop hahaha. they kept trying to persuade us to go and "party with them". we lied and said we had boyfriends, but it was still funny as fuck. all three of them were twenty one, and after we told them that yes, our "boyfriends" were "asian", they said that their dick is way bigger than asians. hahahaa. &maribeth's been going out with her mon for a year and a half ?! HAHA. you're a good actor mami. you should be on days of our lives. WELL OKAY. jokest line was "you're cute. i mean, i want you to have my kids. we'd have cute kids, right ?" ahha how the fuck do i answer that ?! *runs away.

on another note. my mommy found my brother's stash. hahaha. she yelled. yelled a lot. well i shouldnt say found, considering, the weed was just chillin on his desk. stupid headd. his excuse was "mom im just stressing right now.." i left the room, afraid i might laugh. hahahaha.

LOL. Oh wwowwwwww.. How embarrassing is that ! I was 17 and thought I was hot shit. "you should be on days of our lives", wrote that like I thought it was funny? HAHA. Who the fuck did I think I was ?! What a joke lol. I do wish it was hot outside though. Damn this cold weather!

WHILE YOU SIT AND REMINISCE..

THROWBACK THURSDAY

when i first met alex, i was surprised by his height. he was fucking tall. our first "date" together, i wouldn't really call a date. he picked me up, i was with my buddy so he came along too, and we went to some diner where alex's friend worked. i was REALLY sick this night, i was soo hungover and hadn't slept yet, so i was probably still drunk.. and alex barely said one word to me. we ended up going to revival for hip hop karaoke, and it ended up calm. cool. collected. i developed a little crush on him that night, but nothing major.
the next day, alex called me.. we ended up meeting up again to take a walk through graffiti alley. we ended up sitting in a park for an hour in the middle of february.. all i kept thinking was "please don't let any pigeons poop on me, it'll be so embarrassing".. it didn't :) he then took me for korean bbq, my first time.. and yes, HE COOKED FOR ME.. then he took me to chapters. we sat in a corner and flipped through books on hip hop and he also took the time to go through astrology books to check our compatibility. it said we should stay friends lol.
the next day he promised to take me shopping. we walked through the park and got some free soup from some hippies and continued trekkin'. we ended up accidentally stumbling upon toronto's ice festival. we went through the entire thing, when a couple asked alex to take a picture of them behind a sculpture of toronto.. after he did, the same couple insisted they take a picture for us. so alex and i got our picture taken, and he put his hand around my waist, i nearly died. it was behind a sculpture that said "toronto" in an arch, the pansiest thing ever.. but i was really excited to be so close to him.
upon conversation a few days earlier, i had said that i've never been ice skating.. so he surprised me by taking me to nathan phillips square. i was terrified, and thus still figured it a good time to grab his hand. we spent the night holding hands and skating, but the fucker still didn't know i was interested.
when he took me home, he had a parking ticket on his car. i apologized profusely and he was such a gentleman he shrugged it off like it was nothing.
the next morning was my interview for university, and it went well so i was really excited. i called him up and told him, and again, we went out. we spent the entire day walking and talking, and i grabbed his hand AGAIN, still.. he wasn't taking the bait. we ended up going to hooters to celebrate, and we finished 3 or 4 pitchers of beer. we were both drunk out of our faces. (i remember you talking to richard for a good 15 minutes on the phone whilst i waited patiently.. JUSSAYIN!) after leaving hooters, i was basically sick of his shit, so. in the middle of the streets of downtown toronto, in the middle of february, in -20c weather, drunk outta my face, hair in disarray, i asked him, "hey, alex.. can i kiss you?", he replied, "alright".

.. and the rest, was history.

i love you.












GET YA MONEY UP, JEWELRY TIGHT, SWAGGER RIGHT.. HONEY SMILE, DON'T ACT FUNNY STYLE.
DUDES W/CONTACTS WANT CONTACT, I TELL EM, NOPE!

51,111 THANK YOUS.

this whole blog thing doesn't really phase me sometimes. so i have a few thousand readers, but it never really feels like it.
the whole reason i ever started blogging, was i felt it was the only way i knew HOW to do things. my mom let me have my first journal when i was five. i still have it. she had these journal type notebooks which she used for inventory lists at the restaurant she owned. she literally had piles and piles of them.. well, being a five year old at a restaurant during closing time felt like a lifetime.. for both me and her lol.. that was until i saw this one notebook that caught my eye. it had two puppies on the front cover. i loved puppies (still do) and i didn't know why else other than the love for puppies, but i had to have it. i asked my mom for it, and she immediately said yes, more than likely the thought of something keeping me busy rather than me writing a novel.
i grabbed a red pen, and sat in the booth of her empty restaurant. it made me feel important, something that was mine.. and it was very grown up. i felt like a grown up. i spend that first day writing my name. at five, it was the only thing i knew how to write/spell. i wrote it all over the inside cover, and i think i even scribbled one out because i accidentally spelled my own name wrong the first time.
but, i kept at it, every time we closed the restaurant. i'd grab my journal. soon entries filled with my days, and things i made at school. from recess, to my dad passing away.. to elementary.. to junior high.. to first crushes, and math tests.. to high school, to grad, to dates, and boyfriends.. to now. since the age of five, i have never stopped writing.. be that on the internet, or in a notebook. be that with proper grammer, or just my name over and over. i haven't stopped..
and the whole reason i do this, is because over the past seventeen years, this has become my life. & if i can get that one person who relates to a simple experience, or a traumatic event, or a fucked up night, or a party, then just for that second, i'm sitting there, back in that booth. excited about showing my mom what i wrote.
whether you've connected with me or not, whether you've commented or not.. you've helped me, to become most thankful for people who take a second out of their lives, to take a step into mine.

xoxoxxo

botch.

SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD BOTCH IN TORONTO..

you see.. when i was seventeen, i was in toronto with two of my best friends at the time. literally every day was spent together.. and then we lived together. our broke asses could not afford shit.. so for quite some time, we had mushroom soup for breakfast, lunch, AND dinner, in CUPS, because we didn't have bowls.. and had to borrow a can opener from our neighbours.. OH.. we also didn't have air conditioning during a heatwave and took turns sitting inside our freezer.. let's take a look..

THROWBACK THURSDAY!

TORONTO EDITION


my house.. or the casino, same diff.


niagra falls. pictures do not do the falls justice. my future husband will propose to me at niagra falls, in a really extravagant way.. otherwise he's gone. lol.


men's cum is only $15!!!


at the time that "turtle, turtle" movie came out.. and we laughed pretty hard about this one.


our rooftop view.


we're so youuungggg.. all of our hair has changed so drastically lol.


our sneaker addiction was growing more and more into a problem as teens..


"chump change niggas, chump change". haha.. fuck we were so ballin' back then.


our first night of not sleeping together, we took a whole bunch of in-appropriate gummy bear pictures.


dave and his girlfriend, our neighbours and the coolest ones at that.


two of my world's greatest, picking a hippo's nose.


fountains!


amber. botch. maribeth. janice.. before tanning and make up..!

WALK THE STREET WITH MORE BOOP THAN BETTY..

when people send me shit like this, it makes bloggin all the worth while.

THROWBACK THURSDAY

i think this is my favorite heltah skeltah song ever. i've had the opportunity to see sean price live, and he's fuckin' ill. this song is fuckin' ill. heltah skeltah and ogc are fuckin' ill. "i control the masses with metaphors that's massive.. i'm drastic when it comes to verbs i be flippin".. aww yayurr! every single verse was fucking shut down, and no one outshines anybody. that's the beauty of this shit right here. usually you have someone getting out-shined.. but not on this shit. on this shit, it's beautiful.
"guess who, punk chump, your brain just blew/ it’s the originoo gun clappa two/ rushin through, three on three you can’t see we/"
don't forget heltah skeltah (named after the beatles so you know they're on a level of dope already) or boot camp clik!!

happy thursday!

KOOCHIE GET WET WHILE THE BASS BEAT BANG..

"IT'S FUCKING WEDNESDAY BOTCH!!"

i'm sorry shit. wednesdays are fun! i am fucking.. fucked up. my head is pounddddiiiinggg. i never want to look at alcohol ever again.. i know what i wanna do though, eat mango pudding for the rest of my life. tried that shit at dim sum today, hello craziness. could live off that shit.

talib and hi tek was fucking insane. people are like "fuck you were fucked last night" and i answer with, "fuck, you were there?!!!"
i remember being at the stage and thinking fuck this is soooo good, focus on what they are sayinggg.. and lyrics that escaped my mouth was shit like "akjhsjgaa corner ajhdjsb fuck i need water". lol, just death.

anyway, i am on a crazy nas tip. yeah yeah, i always listen to nas.. but i'm heavy on nas right now like.. you don't understand. i can't.. fucking.. stop. life has been, come home, watch every nas video ever made, mtv nas diary, vh1's driven w/nas, nas interviews, then every album in rotation. so i decided to throw up "can't forget about you" for throwback thursday. it's a fucking dope video.. when he's on that bench with the QB backdrop, oh boy. as a bonus, chrisette's voice is fucking crazy. enjoy it.

i have a thing for intelligent gangsters.. and all of you know my style, i spend my dough but i still let it pile.

.. this would be longer but.. i'm going to go puke my guts out now.
hot sex on a platter.

I GOT BIG PLANS, BIG PLANS..

so a little over a year ago, i made a list of goals that i wanted to complete within a year.. you can revisit that list of goals, HERE... i should have updated with how i did earlier, but it completely slipped my mind.. so whatever! it's here now, let's take a look at what we got done.. bitches.

1. swim in the ocean / status: COMPLETED!
i am clear that in these pics i am not swimming in the ocean, but they are either right before.. or right after.. i am also clear that my bum is extremely white.. LOL it was october give me a break!







2. make out in the rain / status: INCOMPLETE
didn't get to.. hmph.

3. eat something i haven't eaten before / status: COMPLETED!

i dunno if drinks really count, but fuck off, i haven't tried any of the above.. and then i tried them all in one day! i love happy hour!





4. snowboard / status: INCOMPLETE
wahh wahh

5. go camping / status : INCOMPLETE

6. attend a baseball game / status: COMPLETED!
new york yankees vs. toronto blue jays




7. get an autograph / status: COMPLETED!
i got more than one, but i didn't take pictures of any:(


8. rock the bells / status: INCOMPLETE

9. chicago / status: INCOMPLETE

10. travel to 5 different cities! / status: COMPLETED!
manila, philippines. toronto, ontario. seoul, korea. vancouver, british columbia. puerto galera, mindoro.






11. blow out candles on my birthday (it's been so long!) / status: COMPLETED!



12. win money in poker $$ / status: INCOMPLETE

13. meet nas / status: INCOMPLETE

14. spit off of a bridge / status: COMPLETED!
didn't get a pic of it, but i did it!

15. break a beer bottle / status: COMPLETED!
unfortunately, i didn't take any pics of a broken beer bottle.. but here's two pics from nights that i did.



16. go to a concert with my sister / status: COMPLETED!



17. go to a concert / status: COMPLETED!


18. go to a concert / status: COMPLETED!




19. go to a concert / status: COMPLETED!




20. go to a concert (i wanna attend at least 5 within a year!) / status: COMPLETED!


i even went to extra concerts!! including, shiny toy guns, raekwon (i went twice), keys n krates (twice), lupe fiasco and mooore..









21. get another job / status: INCOMPLETE
dammit.

22. blaze on the beach / status: COMPLETED!



23. tag shit up like crazy / status: INCOMPLETE
does this count?! lol



24. get a really bad ass scrape from rollerblading / status: COMPLETED!
damn the staircase railing. damn it! but thanks:)


25. become "spit" brothers with someone / status: COMPLETED!
i did this the same day i spit over a bridge.. lots of spit everywhere! no pic though:(

26. get a tattoo / status: COMPLETED!


27. be on a stage / status: INCOMPLETE

28. new york / status: INCOMPLETE

29. paris / status: INCOMPLETE

30. tokyo / status: INCOMPLETE

31. introduce myself to a random stranger / status: COMPLETED!
strangers i met this year include..



plus many more.. thanks strangers!

32. feed a homeless person / status: INCOMPLETE

33. make a t-shirt / status: INCOMPLETE

34. get something/ANYTHING published / status: INCOMPLETE
i think this is the one i wanted the most, and it didn't happen. womp.

35. get my blog hits to 15000 hahahaha / status: COMPLETED!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING MY BLOG. i appreciate it so much! & WE DOUBLED my goal and then some, so thank you thank you thank you !!

36. touch a palm tree / status: COMPLETED!


so there you have it! i wanted to complete at least ten, which i did.. but i also wish i did a lot better.. looking back though, i have done A LOT in the past year. i plan to make a new list to complete within a year again, so if you have any suggestions, post them below..
I ALSO PLAN, to do a better job of documenting it all:)

thanks for everything people.

also on the song, "light up" with jay and drake.. jay goes fucking hard, so listen to it right now.

"drake, here's how they gonna come at you.. with silly rap feuds tryna distract you, in diguise, in the form of a favor, the barzini meeting, watch for the traitors.."

goodness! if you've seen the godfather, barzini is the family that set up vito.. fucking craziness.. dare i say.. hova's back?