BECAUSE THE INTERNET..

UGH. THE INTERNET IS MAKING ME CRY SO MUCH TODAY.

Here's why:

Thanks, internet.

STUFF I GOOGLE

Isn't Google funny? It's absolutely crazy to me that in this day and age, we refer to a search engine for EVERYTHING. Seriously, everything. I don't even remember what life was like using an actual map, or trying a restaurant before a review. How did we find out about albums?! It's all so hazy.

There are however, also the times you're drunk with your friends, the vodka has gotten to all of your heads, you're at some Chinese restaurant at 4am, post-party, and someone says "Yo, google 'dwarf bunnies' for a sec.". That's where this idea derived from. That, and the utter fear of my Google history being read out loud one day. I need to beat the odds and embarrass myself before someone else does it.

I'm keeping a log of everything I Google from here on in. I don't plan on giving any explanation, because I think initial reaction will prove to be quite comedic, however, if you really want to know, ask. I'll most certainly tell the story. So, with that said, as of late, here's some stuff I Google'd:

- Pablo Escobar
- racketeering
- Atmosphere question that lyrics
- puck bunny
- seven deadly sins
- how did they make nicholson smile joker
- what is professional biking called fast
- the inventor of straws
- can dogs get STDs
- songs to sex to
- dwarf bunnies
- tennis riot
- golf riot
- David Fustino
- Marschino cherries
- stature

I SHOULD BE WRITING RIGHT NOW,

Yes. I should be. Here are the steps I usually take to begin working: Grab my to-do list. Grab writing utensils, and a highlighter for edits. (I write with ink and a notebook, always). Well, now that that is taken care of, I must set up some tunes. Gather music. Okay. Sit down, time to get to it.. Let me just check my e-mails. Okay, that's over. Time for the essentials. A cigarette (which I always have before I begin). Well, I'm smoking inside, gotta get up and open the windows. Oh, and fuck, light a candle. Okay, now we can smoke. Okay now let's write. Wait, I should start brewing some coffee. HOLY FUCK IT'S BEEN THREE HOURS?! WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING..?! So, instead of writing.. I call my brother, and say, "I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WHY, WRITE, WHY, READ, CAN'T, WHY!!!??", and he replies with, "You're the lazy college meme.". WHAT'S THIS?! A LAZY COLLEGE MEME?! Must. Google. Hi.





Hehe, he's so on point.