THE SUPPLY OF BAD QUOTES NEVER RUNS OUT.

I was just on Facebook and this girl posted a picture of a shitty burned scroll with text of the following quote: "Tattoos are like stories, they symbolize important parts of your life".

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

WAIT! It gets better! Two people actually "liked" this bull shit timeline photo. I just realized I said a couple of posts ago I was trying to gossip less, does this count as gossip?! UGH FUCK I CAN'T HELP IT.

These simple-minded fucks are just too dumb for me. Like, REALLY, worst simile of all time. Also, did this piece of shit scroll illustration really hit you? Really inspire you to go, "Yeah *smiles* tattoos really are, I need to share this"?! Most tattoos are crap, or jokes, or yes they do mean something, but that quote does not represent anything remotely close to inspirational or moving.

So with that being said, here's a list of shitty quotes I'm making up. If you guys know of any illustrators to make these pieces of crap go viral, let's all contribute to making the internet worse. I mean, fuck, everyone else is doing it.

"Sometimes, break-ups hurt, but so do knee scrapes, and we get over those."

"Today might be cloudy, but the sun is somewhere."

"Friends are like popsicles, they're good."

"Puppies are best friends to humans because they have puppy hearts."

"You have to bake the cake before you eat it. Life."

"Trust is like paper, once it's ripped, it's ripped."

Do you have any shitty quotes to share?! Let's all laugh together!

5 FACEBOOK PET PEEVES.

Well. You've done it. You've logged into Facebook. What were you thinking?! Get out of there. Now you're going to be overwhelmed with inspirational quotes and memes that are nowhere near funny. Oh, Facebook. Dear, Facebook. Where you get invited to things you don't care about and block applications like they're software updates.
Facebook. The number one website in the world that helps you to "stay connected". It does a good job of that. I won't deny it. However, the swamp effect is a little un-bearable. The swamp effect. That's what I call it. Here's a list of 5 Facebook pet peeves that drive me crazy.

1. THE STATUS UPDATER
"What a nice day outside!", "Going for a walk.", "Omg so tired!", "Having dinner, then going to bed". OH, WOW. Thank you. My day certainly was not going good until THIS happened! Thank you so much!

2. THE GYM RAT
These ones. These ones. Check in at the gym. Updated status: "Make time, no excuses". Mobile photo of their protein shake. Gym quote. HOLY, FUCKING, SHIT. We get it. I completely encourage people to better themselves but if you're needing all types of attention from it, it's annoying, and we end up deleting you. Then you'll be getting a lot less "likes", bro.

3. KIDS/ANIMALS
Oh, that's your kid eating, cute:) Oh you're kid sleeping, cute:) Okay, your kid in a new shirt. Okay, kid watching tv. Kid sitting. Kid standing. Omg, you've posted 46 pictures of your kid in one day. Not much has changed. Replace "kid" with any "pet", this can go both ways.

4. EVERY SINGLE INTERNET MEME/INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE EVER
If you're showing me 10 memes per day, chances are, they aren't all funny. Don't TRY to succeed, man. "Oh this is kind of cool". NO! Kind of cool, you glance over. Share the things that FLOOR you. THAT ARE AN ABSOLUTE MUST. The inspirational quote doesn't help you none either.

5. ATTENTION CRIES:(
These statuses: "Don't even want to talk about it :(", "This is the fucking worst :(". OH THESE CLIFFHANGERS! The statuses that are just begging for someone to comment "What's wrong, hun?!". UGH. I wish all these emo fucking fucks would get blogs.

IN SUMMARY: Facebook should be: WHAT YOU WOULD TALK ABOUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS/FAMILY. It is conversation, it is your life. If you would bring all of these things up, then fine, go ahead. Your friends/family are probably used to your annoying self already.. but if you would not, refrain. Hold back a little. Our timelines are hard to catch up on with the swamp effect. Chill yo, chill.

What's your biggest Facebook pet peeve?!

DISLIKE BUTTON.

So I'm in the biggest debate with my friend Jheff right now who is trying to convince me that Facebook once had a "dislike" button.
Uh. No, Jheff, it didn't.

Coming from an avid FACEBOOK USER as well as an overall brilliant, genius, I'm telling him, "They did not".

Here are my points:
- Why would Facebook create a negative social experience?!
- Researching this on the internet shows ABSOLUTELY NO information that a "dislike" button ever existed.
- With things like cyber bullying, why would they make depleting self esteem that easy?
- FACEBOOK IS TOO SMART FOR THIS (I HATE FACEBOOK AND BELIEVE THIS).

Anyways guys, Jheff is so wrong here and "dislike" buttons never existed and if anyone wants to challenge this thought go ahead and comment so I can smoke you okaaay thaaaankkksss byyyyeeee.

DEAR FACEBOOK TIMELINE,

Hey, timeline. You're un-organized. People can see all my embarrassing moments from the past, they're supposed to work for that. Your boxes don't even line up. My eyes don't know where to look. You probably have no friends. Everyone probably hates you. When you show up to a party, people say, "Fuck, Timeline's here. I'm out.". You probably have a messy room, with a mess that's not even cool. It's probably just receipts and wrappers from un-cool things. You probably listen to Nickelback.

IT'S THE WEEKEND!

spring cleaning, in progress. writing, in progress. partying, in progress. speeches, in progress. maintaining, in progress. hustlin' $$, in progress. beer drinking, in progress. learning, in progress. hip hop, progressed. bank accounts, not yet. absolut, full throttle. nala, maintainin'. red bull, emptied. belmonts, full pack. cereal, in the belly. god's son, in the dvd player. friends, holdin it down. bedroom, 75% there. bills, top dollar.. LIFE'S PROGRESSION, in full effect!

I DID NOT RE-ACTIVATE MY FACEBOOK. i apologize for any confusion but someone else did. & someone is an over-bearing jealous douche who needs to relax and not read my notes..!! k thanks.

TRAINING TECHNIQUES..

"wanna hear my favorite song!?" today tj sang taylor swift. i think i hate her even more now. so you guys won. i am in drake mode. i'm embarrassed to say it, but he's not bad. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE! i really like blu&exile. i know i'm late. but BLU IS SO NASTY! like fuck. sex for my ears dude. so i still have no money and no phone. sick right. I KNOW. i still haven't posted my toronto pics, sorry for the delay. i was doing the pay roll today and i'm not a fan. being in charge of everyone's money.. ugh. there were some people i wanted to take hours off, but i didn't cuz i'm not that shiesty. LOL. i still have pics from last week i need to upload. forgive my lag but my camera is so fucked! i lost a pair of concords today. story of my life. i get my phone next week. the latest i'll get it is thursday. so yeah. i'll blog about it as soon as it's in my palms. "yo botch you got facebook?" NOPE! "yo botch what's your number?" NOPE! yeah it sucks. so just wait a little bit, for my phone, not facebook. fb heads can eat my nuts freal.

feelin: excited as fuck!
listen: scholarman - my passion