ON BEING A SMOKER.

Quit that evil glare. I've been ridiculed and lectured quite enough on this filthy habit, and if there's one thing I know, it's smoking is bad for you. We know that. All smokers know that. Quitting can easily be pictured in my future. I just haven't given the option a real effort. I'll give you 5 reasons why.

1. I GET BORED.
I thoroughly enjoy the oral fixation of it. Flicking a cigarette, the feeling of holding it, lighting it. It's a habit. A dirty one, if you may, but this habit has made hours feel like minutes.

2. IT'S SOCIAL.
I'd say at least, 40% of my friends, I have met through a cigarette. That 40% does not include the 7 minute friends. For you non-smokers, the universal time for a cigarette is seven minutes. The conversation you can have with a stranger in seven minutes would really surprise you non-smoking wussies. Sorry for calling you wussies. Kind of.

3. THE MEAL EQUATION.
After a meal, smoking a cigarette really helps. When you're really full, it grabs each food item and places them somewhere where you don't feel as full.

4. THE BOSS EQUATION.
When you're angry and you have a cigarette, people do not want to fuck with you.

5. THE GET OUT EXCUSE.
When you're not feeling a conversation, a person, or you just don't know what to say anymore.. going for a smoke is your perfect get away escape.

"Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it thousands of times." - Mark Twain.

I read an article where the writer said something like, "Every pack I open is 20 more opportunities to quit, I just haven't used one". Couldn't have said it better myself. Belmonts for life, brah.

Those judgements? I feel them. They're easily thrown away though. One inhale at a time.

IS IT TUESDAY?!

NAH MOTHER FUCKER, IT'S WEDNESDAY!!

and i'm here to let you in on some things that be waaaack and shit!

WHAT'S WACK WEDNESDAY!

guy: "yo do you have a spare cigarette?"
botch: "nah dude, sorry."
guy: "why ? is that your last one?"
botch: "nope, but i only have like two..
guy: "how much do those run you?"
botch: "$14."
guy: "fuck that's expensive, you shouldn't be smoking."
NO DUDE. YOU shouldn't be smoking, you can't fucking afford it! things that are wack from this story: guy being contradicting, guy being smelly, guy being fucking rude, guy making me want to blow smoke in his face.

EMBARRASSING MOMENTS LIKE THIS ONE:
girl: i'm wearing the same underwear, so i can't bang him tonight cause i banged him yesterday and he'll noticeeee..!! are you hooking up..?
botch: hahahaha uhhh no.. i'm not hooking up.. i'm wearing fucking pineapple scratch and sniff underwear.. it has pictures of fucking pineapples all over it.
** girl and botch exit bathroom **
girl: HAHAHAH.. pineapples.
random stranger: pineapples?! DO TELL.
girl: this girl, SHE'S FUCKING WEARING SCRATCH AND SNIFF UNDERWEAR.. IT'S PINEAPPLES!! AHAHAHAHAAH
thanks man. ahahah fucking thanks for telling the entire club what kind of underwear i'm wearing. ahahah.

FIND YOUR LOVE VIDEO
that has to be one of the wackest videos evaaahhh.. what is with the blazing drake taking up half that video.. all i kept seeing was drake inhaling. lol seriously drizzy, even jamaica couldn't help you.. you are a music video fail.

NO EXPERIENCE AND A SHIT LOAD OF MOUTH
this is when people give you advice on something they've never been through. "well if he's talking to another girl, you should just dump him". uhm?! what the fuck are you talking about?! you don't know anything. did i even ask you for your advice?! no. i really didn't. back the fuck up.

TEEN MOMS CONNECTING WITH TEEN MOMS
when 16 year olds who have babies go up to other 16 year olds with babies and say things like "omg your son is so adorable!!".. WHEN REALLY, both girls used to be the worst of enemies.. they hated each other.. but since they both fucked up and had babies, they talk to each other.. AND THE ONLY REASON WHY THEY TALK TO EACH OTHER, is to make themselves feel good about their mistake.
below the belt botch, below the belt. maybe.

DROPPING YOUR TOOTHBRUSH
so i was extremely tired this morning.. i couldn't sleep last night because i was scaring myself to shit.. i kept on thinking that the creaks in the floors were ghosts that wanted to eat me.. WHICH IS WHY I CANT LIVE ALONE PEOPLE! i'm accepting roommate applications! lol.. anyway, when i woke up i was EXTREMELY groggy.. kind of like the yoplait commercials, except instead of that reggae joint it was hip hop nation playing. so i wake up, and i'm brushing my teeth when i grab my lipstick.. which was on a shelf above the toilet.. my groggy self, knocks my toothbrush into the toilet.. there i stand, kind of dazed, with a mouth full of toothpaste looking at my toothbrush in the toilet.. and the only thing that escapes my foamy mouth is, "shit. that sucks".

POPULAR SHIT
THE IPAD! the ipad has to be the most gimmicky waste of money EVER. please do yourselves a fucking favor, and DO NOT get one.. ARE YOU PEOPLE AWARE OF THIS!? seriously, people only like shit cause it's new. people don't even take their time to think.. this piece of shit is an absolute waste of money.. it runs the same fucking OS as a FUCKING IPHONE! that should say enough. even that velcro+ipad video couldn't save this fucking thing. invest your money on shit that you will actually benefit from. not the shit that companies brainwash customers to think is ill na na. this world is dumb.. they ed hardy dumb.


ON THINGS THAT ARE NOT WACK.. i totally was mis-charged my pack of belmonts today, $7.76, when they're supposed to be $14.10!! fuck yeah son, fuck yeah son.. i totally didn't even notice til i left and saw my receipt. i was so tired this morning. still am actually, i'm trying to get hyped for talib tonight. WHAT?! you're going to see talib botcho!? i sure as the fuck am. ALSO.. nas is saying a lost tapes 2 and 3 might be coming our way soonskies.. FUCKFUCKFUCK YESSSSS!!!!!



ALSO, i've been asked for my song listing that i've used in may.. so here are the songs i used:

MAY 2010
kid cudi, chip - all talk
justice - DVNO
beastie boys, q-tip - get it together
lil wayne - single
usher - omg
trey songz - say ah
rampage, busta - wild for da night
fat joe - the shit is real
dj jazzy jeff - practice
consequence - let u live
usher - hey daddy
kid cudi - know why
timbaland - the way i am
beastie boys - you gotta fight
beastie boys - sabotage
travis mccoy - billionaire

i was on a big beastie boys tip last month. i currently have had distant relatives in my player since i bought it and haven't taken it out.. so a nas playlist is up. enjoy biatches.

HAPPY HUMP DAY.

some days i really love wednesdays.. you get that fuck yeah it's almost the weekend.. some times the day goes fucking shitty as fuck. time is slow and your eyes wanna shut down.. today was fucking beautiful. the weather was bomb.. and i went to the mall. i'm not a mall person, i hate the mall and everybody in it.. you'll probably see me in a mall at a maximum of like 4 times a year.. and that's a generous four.. i didn't hate today though.. i had a good day with my cousin and came home happy and ready to lay down in my bed.. but even with that, i still gotta say what's wack..

WHAT'S WACK WEDNESDAY

CIGARETTE TAX TELL ME HOW A PACK OF BELMONTS COST ME $14. wtf is that shit!? i was aware that cigarette tax was going up 50 cents.. but i didn't realize it would hurt me that bad til i actually had to buy a pack. i is getting robbed. cigarettes in the states are like $3. we need to get on that shit. damn this free health care. damn ittttt..

SPRING NO BREAK spring break without the break cause you just end up working more. getting a bigger paycheque will be so dope.. but yooo.. OH WAIT! FRIDAY IS GOOD FRIDAY!! so tomorrow is actually my friday.. so technically speaking.. it's thursday! shit son.. maybe this isn't so bad afterall.. OH WAIT! i found a way to complain about it.. friday is a holiday, and it's a part of spring break?! that's cheating.

BREAK-UP SEASON i swear to life, late march, early april.. totally break up season. this isn't really wack, but what is wack is hurting people. i don't know what the fuck is up with spring, but it makes people fucking crazy. people tend to do such fucked up shit, and THAT is wack. spring is fucking shit for making people psychotic bitch azz cunt fucked dyke lookin pricked assholes.. i some how need to find a way to turn spring into capsules.. and then sell it. i will be the richest drug lord to ever have lived!!

WU-TANG YES. wu tang on what's wack wednesdays..! for being sold out everywhere i go! WHAT THE FUCK! i want the massacre. WINNIPEG DOESNT EVEN LIKE HIP HOP ONLY I DO! stop trying to steal it winnipeg! you fuckers! ..okay sigh. i'm glad the album is being purchased, they deserves the penny.. BUT FUCK! can you guys wait to buy your copy til i get mine!? cool thaaanks.

SLOW FUCKS BECAUSE THEY'RE DUMB today i went to get bubble tea in the boonies. it was the boonies, so there was literally no one in the fucking place.. and girl took for-fucking-ever to make my shit. LOOK LITTLE GIRL, there is no time to be fucking dilly dally'ing.. i fucking want my shit! i have things to not do, and people to not see, so make me my drank and be on with your life..!! when i walked in stupid hoe was fucking reading a magazine while a table was covered with cups and napkins. get off your ass you dumb bitch! don't worry people, i left my blog open in their little "cyber area" so hopefully she'll read this.. i could've written a fuckin entry waiting that long. hahah.. she totally said "thanks for coming" so nicely when i was leaving too.. LOL im such an asshole. 5YN-tifik.blogspot.com you stupid mothah suckah!!

HAIR CONDITIONER i'm not sure if i'm the only person who has this problem, but i ALWAYS, ALWAYS, run out of conditioner before shampoo.. shit fucking baffles me! am i supposed to use less?! i feel like i use less.. i make a pretty reasonable ration.. and it sucks not having conditioner.. shampoo is not the same without conditioner! and DO NOT even get me STARTED about 2 in 1.. ugggghhhh!! one day however, i noticed this.. the conditioner bottles are always less of an amount than the shampoo.. DAMN YOU SNEAKY BASTARDS.. except for pantene pro-v, which actually has more conditioner in their bottles than shampoo.. but i still ran out of the shampoo first.. ramble ramble izz what i doooo..

B'S MOM: so you weren't at work today, did you get a doctor's note?
B: yeahhhhhh..
B'S MOM: well.. where is it?
B: it's in my car.
B'S MOM: you didn't go!
B: yeahhhh.....i didn't (dammit).

your weakest moments are your strongest emotions.. some times you gotta drop kick life in the face, get up and say "fuck it, i'm fucking awesome". dude, you're fucking awesome, and it's almost the fucking weekend.. so let's drop kick the weekend in the fucking face. i love you bitch, and anyone that does, will treat you fucking awesome.. and to anyone that doesn't.. well.. we'll nickname them life.

ROCK OUT WITH YOUR COCK OUT

FINALLY, IT'S FUCKING FRIDAY!
good-bye botcho rage weekend all weekend.

let's drop kick this weekend in the fucking face!! pour redbull and vodka down the bitch's throat, light a belmont, pause, take a picture, yagerbombs, five beers then bust a nut on her fucking face, slap the bitch, then call her a dirty slut! HOW YOU LIKE THAT WEEKEND ?! you like it rough?!! ya trick ya.

IT WAS FRIDAY NIGHT AND WE DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO..

& IT ENDED UP BEING LIVE..

so hit the jump.

FRIDAY NIGHT @ REPUBLIC

"get me out of this asian infested area."


cuz n' abs!


drop a bomb on em


budweiser makes a happy home


fuck shoes, i go out in my socks beetch!


we're a massacre=(


top five in the girls department


top five in the boys department


cause he keeps me from getting lost and loves hip hop!.. not as much as me though.


boys boys over here!


not there.. over here!


check it out eazy-e's in the buildin!!


TMZ spotted


peace bitches


maribeth wants to..


bianca wants to..


YOU ACT LIKE YOU DONT WANNA!


but you wanna!


holy shit, is this reality or am i dreaming.. or..?


nope.. it's really matt!


i'm better at science, okay?


thanks marti..!!


freddie fauni out from hiding!






time to calm eazy down


i dunno what this was but it was probably something along the lines of "no i'm good guys, i'm good.. i'm sorry botcho i didnt mean to do that.. nah guys, im good yo, im good.. you're my bro.. i'm good!"


they know.


allison too gangsta.. "yo you spilled ur drink on my feet!" "well maybe you shouldnt be wearing those shoes, theyre in the way of my drink.." that shit is legit.


ALL THE WAY FROM CALGARY!


..and wearing the same shirt as jono! lol


i ask the bartender to take a pic for me, and he takes one of himself..
but he's so hot, so it's okay. hottie!


well he did take this.. "A" for effort:)


holy hollywood.








it's hard to see when u guys are ready when its so dark .. sorrehhhh hahaha


five dollars on jono!


HI NICK!


"marti take a picture with me"
"okay."
"WHAT REALLY !? OMG IM EXCITED"


"HEYY RICHARD, right?"










JEFFREY!


j au, son!


tuazon vs. tuazon


marti you're so handsome:)


no fighting family though.


jono agrees.


everyone should just go chill by the wall.


i mean.. roger's doing it.


he looks like he's chill.


definitely.. everybody, by the wall!


no, more chillin than that!


still, too rowdy!


there it is:) prettyyyyys.




CHAMPAGNE SPARKLERS!


coolnessss


edwin!


hi:)


WSH<3


meeting by the pillar


topic: why yeezys blow, by jason au


can i get a cup of you!


you act like i'm not funny..


style wars


too easy.


they go hard..


botcho, is dat chu?


im confused!


mcdonalds time!




AAAAAAAAAAAAAAND END.


pens won. that was good. republic. that was good. i love my friends!!
i'll post the rest of the pics tomorrow or some-ting.
in other news, i have like forty billion mosquito bites. fack! im so itchy! you tiny little bastards! i dont even donate my blood, what makes u think yall can have it!?.. hey.. could u catch aids from a mosquito?! ..just a thought.
lakers won, that was gay. i just watched the game cause i didnt wanna watch it yesterday, ughughughugh. hi. that was probably the most boring game in life. so whatevah.
i've been getting a crazy amount of anonymous comments lately.. and by crazy amount, i mean like 5:( hahahaha. whether you're hating me, or loving me, i give a fuck-less.. i love comments! 5YN-tifik! DOT! BLOGSPOT! DOT! COM!
hating on detroit jerseys was like ill na na. ahhaha. "MALKIN! MALKIN!" goodness. i'm hilarious. blazing to "embrace the martian" is good times.
steak is great. steak + beer + ribs+ blazing + slurpees+ belmonts + good hip hop + hot dogs + hockey + friends = my weekend, and it was fucking great. the only thing that was not so great is these fucking mosquito bites!! fucks sake. that and getting a fucking sunglasses tan on my face. don't start laughing yet, it's not visible at the moment.
IT IS SO HOT! today i am thankful for air conditioning.
like you walk outside and ugh.. you're just sweat already. REEEEEEDICULOUSO.
humid humid humid. i wish i had a tiny tiny tiny ak-47. it'd be a genocide of mosquitoes >=)