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Given that I haven't done a "What's Wack Wednesday" in a hot minute now. I thought I'd take this moment to also dish out a 25. Hey. If I was queen of the universe (which some days I feel I am), I would rid the world of a shit load.. but instead of listing a million, I'll take the time to throw down 25. & you could have it all folks! All if you get lost between god and a shot of scotch!WHAT'S WACK WEDNESDAY
THE I DON'T NEED YOU EDITION
1. CARDBOARD APPLICATOR TAMPONS
TORTURE DEVICES! Au revoir! Don't need ya!
2. VOICEMAIL
I don't know why I have voicemail. I'm paying for this when the only person who leaves me voicemails is my mom. & they ALL sound like this "Je, darling, baby, it's mom. Ok. It's mommy. Where are you?". SHE'S LITERALLY, the only person who leaves me voicemails and they're always the same. For one, I see her on my call display so I know she called without the voicemail.. BUT, for some reason, I save all of them, cause I love her so much! Would I trip if I gave up the voicemail deal?! Prolly not, I have a million of the same thing to last a lifetime.
3. SLUSH
Dirty, salty, winter slush. Peace.
4. 1 PLY TOILET PAPER
To all the public bathrooms that supply 1 ply.. I'm pretty sure they all do this because it's cheaper.. but if we really look at this situation with thought.. I feel comfortable in saying anyone who uses 1-ply, takes a little more.. wouldn't that even out costs?! We take more than we would when using 2 ply. Get rid of it.
5. NICKI MINAJ
We don't need her. hahahahah.
6. BILLS
I don't want you anymore either.
7. "YOU'VE JUST WON A CRUISE"
Stop calling me.
8. HYPOCRITICAL PROTESTERS
The ones that are against violence yet throw bricks through windows. YO, hippie, do you even know what you're "fighting" for right now?
9. PLANE RUSHERS
Every single person who gets up right when the plane lands. I'm sorry, but you're actually making things run slower. Fifty people heading for the same overhead compartment at the exact same time will not help you get to luggage faster. Your rushing ass is only making yourself later than you would be if you just let people do this in an orderly fashion. Teacher sounding enough, I hate it.
10. CHEAP BATTERIES
That go in your camera and let you take one picture. These need to get off the market, I've done the best I can by not buying them anymore.. but other people don't need the one picture demise.
11. HANGOVERS
Partying would be so much funner without the hangovers.
12. HOLD
If I could rid the world of being on hold! 60 million hours are wasted on hold per year.. I googled it. That's disgusting. & hold music is rarely ever good, so rid the world of that too. If we're going to be put on hold, they should play nas. hahaha.
13. JUNK MAIL
Both snail, and email. Get out get out get out!
14. CD PACKAGING
HOW HAS SOMEONE NOT FIXED THIS YET?!! That little tab was not that big of a move people! It shouldn't even be classified as a tab! BOOO.
15. WHEN THINGS GET STUCK IN VENDING MACHINES
This would never happen in my utopia.
16. WEATHER PEOPLE
You're all liars.
17. CHEAP UMBRELLAS
.. that embarrass me to shit when they turn inside out downtown infront of a gazillion people.
18. LOVE HANDLES
Well, maybe I wouldn't rid the entire world of love handles.. just mine. This way the people I dislike are still on the fat wagon. See what I did there. Nice.
19. HASHTAG RAP
It's sooooo doooone already. Get rid of it. Along with auto-tune. Off with their heads! Won't miss you. Bye.
20. SCRATCHED CDS
I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE the feeling of opening a new cd. I LOOOOVE reading the booklets, the artists' thank yous, and bios, and lyrics. I fully enjoy knowing that I am supporting what I love, and that I have a hard copy of not only their album art, but their passion. THIS IS WHY I DON'T HAVE AN IPOD. I hate when the shit gets scratched and I stress out on whether I should buy a new one or not though. Don't, need, that. Buying a new one isn't the same as the original. The excitement is gone, and so is that "oh yeah this was so worth it!" feeling. Wamp.
21. MOSQUITOES AND WASPS
and any bug actually cuz I hate bugs. Circle of life?! Ehhhh. I'm sure nature could work something out. Maybe they only come out at like 5am-6am, so we have that hour to know that all bugs are outside and we must avoid them. & they never go in buildings or cars. Have you ever been trapped in a car with a wasp and a raspberry passiontea lemonade?! THE WORST.
22. ITCHES ON THE BACK THAT YOU CAN'T REACH
That's it.
23. SWEATY PALMS
My palms don't get sweaty, but I've dated people who have, had.. this, situation? Holding hands was not my favorite.. and niether is saying what's up to someone when you're about to shake hands with a lake. Now I gotta wipe my hands on my pants and have someone else's sweat on my jeans. Whoo hoo. Hooray.
24. LIGHT BULB BURN OUTS
I don't thing I've ever not gone "AHHH HOLY MOTHER FUCKING COCK BITCH SLUT!" when the flash occurs. It always scares the fuck outta me. & changing light bulbs is never a good time.. I mean sure, the after part is, when everything's brighter and tra la la! But actually changing bulbs, not so much.
25. PEOPLE WHO CUT IN LINES
Get off my earth.
*sigh. life without a camera just isn't the same! especially as a blogger. ugh i wanna cry! hahaha. ugh life. throw me a fucking break here. i break/lose something important like every month. my id.. my cell phone.. my wallet.. the list goes onnnnnn and so do my 25's...... at least technology has advanced enough to allow the world cameras on our cell phones. ALL HAIL THE CAMERA PHONE..25 CELL PHONE FLICKS!
1. yo you try and be the one to tell me this cow boy is not whylin'. his pose is on point and he has a purple lunch box. you can't fuck with that in the wild wild west!!
2. oh bathroom pictures.. i personally hate them, but after endless misses of trying to get both of us, we just had to.. plus this night was so wild.
3. HOMESKIES! awwwww.. dont you just miss the summer nights in winnipeg when you would head out to the plaza and blaze and laugh til three in the morning?! sooo good.
4. oh teej. you're just the nicest, ever.
5. oh poker nights. gotta love poker nights:)
6. this is marti. we were fighting because i wanted to sleep, AND AS ALWAYS, he wanted to sleep too.. BUT MARTI YOU ALWAYS SLEEP! and i was soooo tiiired.. after enough arguing, we ended up making enough room so we could both sleep.. for five minutes then it was time to go hahaha
7. oh look another tuazon! this is richard. i was living on like four hours of sleep, and rich was living on like two hours in like 3 days.. and we finally got to lay down. sleep my precious, sleep!
8. the beer was too expensive and the strippers were ALRIGHT.. but at least i got a lollipop! .. i hope it was clean. LOL
9. HOME PART TWO!
10. what is better than hot weather, beers, hip hop and cigarettes?! nothin/. absolutely fucking NOTHING.
11. carm mother fuckin' raz. i still want that nas shirt son..!!
12. OH BIANCA. 3 in the morning, do you know what that means?! IT MEANS JOHNNY G'S SON! get that food in our belllyyy.. and like five glasses of water please.
13. these are my doggies. they were bezz frennnzzz :( every time i see this picture it hurts my heart a little.. i miss this so much!!
14. UFC FIGHTS. all day.
15. sooooo fuuuuckinggg pretty right
16. so it was like +35C outside. seriously, it was hot as fuck.. and this girl was rocking a fucking red wool sweater, some sweats, and these socks. SANTA CLAUSE FACES, all over these socks. seriously dude, it was mad summer, and she was rocking these christmas socks. respects though, she go hard. i pinned this pic to bonibelle and she messaged me, "jingle fucking bells" and i was laughing so hard, hoping she didnt hear my berry make that camera sound.
17. glock clocked, we stocked ahhaha. DISGUSTINGLY GREAT.
18. so i guess most pics on my phone are of bianca hahaha.. we were upstairs hanging out with keys n krates.. only the craziest show ever. sickest night, sickest music. that's my word.
19. yup. that's a hot dog. yup. peanuts, peanut butter, strawberries, some jam, and some fuckin capt'n crunch on that shit! YOU DONT EVEN KNOW.
20. this is the man who bought it. thanks for letting me try.. that. he's the biggest r kelly fan i know, and i hope one day, he gets to share the above hot dog with him.
21. on our bike ride the other day, we spotted a BAMBI! HELLO BAMBI! bambi was actually a lot closer than this picture makes it seem.. i feel like if i were to ever pet a deer, it wouldn't be soft.. that's fine with me, i'll just take pictures of them from my biiike.
22. YO CHIIINA! get on that best buy tip and hook me up with a fucking camera yo!
23. this statue scares me. her eyes were mad scary, the flash took away from their darkness.. but aCk. BEAUTIFUL, but scaryyy stills.
24. REALLY?! how.. do.. i .. REALLY?! let me just.. maneuver.. like.. this .. does that work?! can someone help me out here?!
25. they're back in action! guile doesn't look so pansy-like anymore. he actually looks like he can handle business.
YALL KNOW ME.. i'm rockin' vans, im in the sand.. i got a redbull and vodka up in my handddddd..I'M IN MIAMI BITCH! so i'm still at number 13 out of 25.. 12 more to go. at least i made it to the half way point?! hopefully i'll be able to finish this saga by the end of august. i think my sister and i might go to a concert next saturday at the pyramid. step ya game up son, yagerbombs are on special there, so i'm pretty sure it'll be a fun night.. as for this weekend, bound to be too crazy. i dunno why i'm so excited, it's only wednesday!!
i had a good day today. i went to work, and it was a good day. nothing special happened, it was ordinary.. i'm just in a really good mood, which is shocking cause i still haven't really slept yet.
i am faaaaaaaaattt bitches. can we treadmill mother fuckers please?! or at least go biking more?! something~!@! help me out! i need motivation!! and a nicotine patch!! oh life, im such a fail. i loove cigarettes too much to quit. let's face it, they look cool.
i want a horse! a horse that doesn't poop or eat or drink water, so i only have to worry about riding it! or i can just hope for a horse and a butler who looks after my horse.. that makes more sense. i love kid cudi.
