I DIDN'T WATCH THE VMA'S.

I don't have cable. I watched the N'Sync performance though.. as well as the Miley(?) Cyrus(?) Robin(?) Thick(?) performance(?).

That many question marks were included because I have that many questions. What the fuck was that?! I was un-aware that a band-aid could stick their tongue out that much.



Miley was like they took a drunk girl out of the audience and said "hey, go ahead". If it was a drunk girl, everyone would be all roar, but because this was a celebrity who has had some formal celebrity training, everyone sat there stone faced questioning their religions and if buying an outfit for the vma's was really a contender against pajamas and some ice cream.
Miley was like when you have the flu on your birthday.
Miley was like trying on the last pair of amazing shoes on at a store, and they're your size but for some reason a weird fit and don't fit you right.
Miley was like an old lady's thong showing.
Miley was like vomit from a night of excessive drinking, that you found in the morning because you forgot to flush it.
Miley was like getting an invitation to a wedding when you hate the couple getting married.
Miley was that neighbor that follows your "Okay nice talking to you.." with "Just one more thing...." and continues for a half hour.
Miley was like getting pants'd by a stranger and you were wearing your mom's underwear.
Miley was like gluing your toes together then stepping on shards of glass and falling into a pit of fire, only surviving an extra five minutes to watch that VMA performance.

Isn't like Robin Thicke, way older?! Most awkward performance of all time. Me super confuse. Someone tell this girl she most certainly CAN stop, and should.

Thanksies!

BLAME IT ON MY A.D.D., BABY.

I'm the kind of person who stands in line, and if that line isn't moving forward, I'll go into another one. However, once I get in that "new" line, I realize the line isn't new at all, I've already tried that one! What's worse? That the line I left is now moving forward.
I'm a fucking train wreck, and the outlets I chose to relay my emotions weren't the best ones. In fact, they were the worst ones. I'm not saying I hate myself for it, I'm saying I did wrong, I know I did wrong, and now I have to do right. I turned into something that wasn't me this weekend. I have never ever ever in my entire life regretted choices I have made. I've already conjured up all the excuses in the book to take my guilt away. Shit is a novel. Reality of it, I can't take shit that I've said or done back. It's over, it happened. All I can do is apologize. I just need to take all the things I'm feeling and transfer them to more positive outlets. The way I've been doing for 24 years.
Sooooo.. now what? Now. I try another line.. and if it isn't moving forward, I need to be patient, respect myself, respect my choices and do nothing but right. Not for anyone else, either. I need to focus on myself. I was told today by a very wise lady, "Your moral compass has always been on point. You don't fuck up, you just don't." THAT SHIT RIGHT THERE. That shit right there.

I won't let a few bad actions define me. I do a lot of good for myself and others. A LOT. I will continue to focus on that for now.. it's all I got, man. My words, and my soul. A few demons have slipped past me, but once you've reached your bottom, you can only go up. I can only move forward. Stay tuned.

GET BACK, GET DOWN, PULL ME CLOSER IF YOU THINK YOU CAN HANG.