WE NEED TO TALK.

 

I made a playlist that covers the good and the ugly. Some songs just hit ya. From missing you to loving you, this ones for the ones in love, the heartbreaks, and the best days. Music is meant to take you places, and sometimes that's forward, sometimes it's backward, but if it moves ya, then the song is doing the job! I hope you find a song you like.

Xo, 

Botch

ESCO THE PUPPY DOG.

 Esco is back! She had a very expensive vet stay but the vet says she will be able to remain in our lives for longer. She has to be on medication for the remainder of her life but she is peppy, back to her old self, and stupid cuddly. I'm so thrilled to have her back. Gonna have to eat ramen for a few months but we did it!!! And I'd do it again and again! DOGGO OWNER FOR LIFE.

CHECK IN TIME.

 I've been putting a lot of time focusing on my self. My growth, my finances, my new space. As all these things have come to me, it's only now that I'm finally starting to realize that I've somewhat neglected allocating my time toward other things that fulfill my life.

How are you, really?

What are three things that have inspired you this month?

What were the bad/good things that happened today?

What do you need right now that you aren't communicating?

Can I help you?

These are a few questions that I'm approaching the world with today. A friend of mine is currently going through a traumatic experience that made me realize how quickly you could lose someone, especially during all of Covid. I've been there. This shit is hard. I hope I can offer some peace and some love, since I've been going through a complete turn around of a year, I'm in a good place to have conversations right now.

I hope if you're reading this, you know that you mean something to me. Whether we know each other, or not. If we don't, you took the time to visit me, to read my words. That is the entire world to me! I've always wanted to connect to just one person, and my heart soars knowing that it might be *you*. So thank you, you've shaped me.

If we do know each other, hi.  I hope you're happy, I hope you're well. I'm not always around, but I'd like to chat when you're free. Message me.

I love you, and hope you saw a cute dog today.

Xo,

Botch

LOVE IS GOING TO KILL ME.

Big love.

A poem by Botch.

I love you.

With every beat of my heart, and every song I hear.

I love you.

With every waking moment, and every empty beer.

I love you.

With every second of every minute of every hour.

I love you.

As the clock ticks on and I question if time is ours.

As I wake alone in my bed staring at the pillow that should be yours.

When I think of all the festivals, and trips and tours.

And all that I want to accomplish, and all that I want to do -

success isn't mine if it doesn't include you

I want to be a helping hand and help you grow.

I want to wake up each morning and kiss you so you know

That, oh that.. I love you.

I love you.

I want to say it again. I want to say it again.

I want to say I love you, please hear it again.

The second time heard just isn't enough 

to conjure up all the love, it's from down to up

From the ground to the sky, deeper than the bottom of the sea,

more than drops of water in a lake, as many degrees as there are degrees,

as many calls as telemarketers make at dinner time

the amount of echoes in the breeze from wind chimes

as grand as pianos in marble floored ballrooms from the first key to the last

my love is bigger for you than all the grains of sand that were made to make skyscrapers glassed

more than the amount of times I've cried when I see too cute of a dog,

that's a lot, I know you know, you've seen me sob.

your love makes me hot and when I'm not with you I'm cold

Always searching and waiting for your arms to hold 

me. The way you do.

The way I fit in that nook, puzzle pieces, two.

Ugh. You smell good. And I love that chin.

Love when we play fight, love when I win.

Love when you show me songs, and when you ask me what I'm playing

Love how the whole world disappears when it's just us, I'm saying..

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

This is a draft, somehow it feels complete and incomplete at the same time. I'll add it to the list of unfinished poems. Wish me luck.

WE ALL TRY - A MIX BY KILUSAN

You can always count on Kilusan to dig deep into your feels and take you on a musical journey of healing. Love is tough and love is beautiful. Love is hard and love is wonderful. Be it on your own or partnered up, this mix offers a taste of what it is to love. Yes, it certainly is 7 in the morning. Grab a coffee and let Summer Walker's voice join you, let smooth vocals join you, let your feels join you, and let's ride out this R&B mix like we fully updating our 2020 AsianAvenue relationship status.

Xo,

Botch

JERRY FOLK - TO MY SOUL

Well so far my Valentine's weekend has consisted of re-watching Mad Men in its entirety and a lot of pizza. I am on season 5. OH, and a ton of music exploration which led me to the above gem. Hi, Cudder.

I get these strong cravings to do a lot of nothing some nights. I adore nothing, especially in this cold. Brr. But if there's anything my nothing has brought to the world, it's Jerry Folk's "To My Soul". Go ahead and play this for your Valentine. If you don't have a Valentine, play it for yourself and thank me later.

Have a wonderful weekend!

WHO WAS THIS GUY?!

I remember being so blown away by who you were and what I saw you to be in such a quick moment of time that it seemed that the facts of our meeting, in the words of Brock Travis, were completely inconsequential to the amount of feeling that I felt in the moment, and that I needed to pay attention, and.. I did.

A LOVE LETTER FROM JOHNNY CASH TO JUNE.

Happy birthday.

GIRLS, GUYS AND GUILT.

I see him from time to time, at concerts, at bars. We run into each other. We give each other a hug, a more-than-2-second-hug. We laugh and discuss music, art parties, and new food joints. He looks great and maybe we dance a little. Maybe we text sometimes, maybe we see movies together, we thrift shop together or end up in the same neighborhood and use each other for a recovery couch on drunken nights.

WE HAVE NEVER HOOKED UP. There is this whole "girls can't be friends with guys" religion that almost everyone seems to be joining. I treat that shit like a cult. I have very much so, fallen for my male friends and they have become boyfriends. Or, I have had male friends fall for me. So, I can see the view behind the opposite sex friends never working theory.. but truth.. it isn't always like that. We need to learn to read the differences, or we'll have strict rules and we'll be scared of who our special someone talks to. Grilling every girl/guy that hugs your mate is stressful. Take your jealousy pants off for a second. If you're in a relationship, and it's great, it will stay great. If it isn't, it's equally as much of the partner as it is the outsider.

If we forever judge our significant other's body language and mistake it for something it isn't, we're looking for trouble that isn't there.

I'm not attracted to any one of my male friends right now. Do I find them good-looking? Oh, yeah. Fuck, yeah. They're gorgeous. Hitting the sack with any of the dudes in my life right now is so far out of my mind, I couldn't even imagine it.

Take those eyes somewhere else, girl. We're just friends.

TODAY IS PERLA'S BIRTHDAY!

.. and she's the best.