LOOK WE CAN SPEND OUR TIME CRYIN ORRRRR..

we can spend our time cryin'.

That's. Just. How. Life. Goes. Sometimes.

Just listen to some Kaytranada and forget about it alllllllllllll. It's okay to cry, it's okay, it's okay.

Your best writing happens when you cry.

Take that at least. Take the W.

Jorja Smith - Where Did I Go?

Jorja Smith X Preditah - On My Mind

Spike Jonze Welcome Home

WATCH THIS FIRST:


WATCH THIS SECOND:


Feelin down, and a friend sent me this. Thank you, FKA.

Ravyn Lenae - Sticky [Official Video]

Trouble neglect you, angels protect you

I THOUGHT THAT I WAS DREAMING WHEN YOU SAID YOU LOVE ME..

I remember being alone in my Mom and Dad's room, at around the age of 8. I remember staring at the ceiling, trying hard to see my Dad. Searching and searching, seeing strobes of color from looking at the light too long, but never seeing him. I begged for it. I pleaded to the ceiling, to give me anything. "GIVE ME ANYTHING!", I sobbed. I'd spend hours here, I never let my pain show. I hid my pain from Mom, because even at 8, I understood I had to be strong for the both of us. These ceiling searching moments were the only time I ever showed weakness. Waiting. Waiting for Dad to tell me he existed, that he didn't leave me.

Every new moment of pain, I still find myself, looking at the ceiling, searching for answers I never receive. I pay close attention to different sounds, the slight buzzing of a light, the creaks of my house, the wind against the window, a car driving past, but none of it is ever what I'm looking for. I'm not even sure I know what I'm looking for, ever. But I know it isn't *this*.

I'm really sad right now. I feel really empty right now. I'm an atheist now, so I no longer search for spirits, for voices, for faces, but for some reason, I just can't stop searching the ceiling for something real. Perhaps it's still *wishing* on Dad, perhaps it's less.

I thought that I was dreaming when you said you love me
The start of nothing
I had no chance to prepare
I couldn't see you coming
The start of nothing
I could hate you now
It's quite alright to hate me now
When we both know that deep down
The feeling still deep down is good
If I could see through walls, I could see you're faking
If you could see my thoughts you would see our faces