Friday, March 11, 2016


I was at a party some time ago, experiencing a little anxiety that is the norm to me. I usually get anxiety right before heading somewhere, and for a little while when arriving at my destination. I get a little shakey, hesitant, and I just.. end up being a little off. Upon arriving at a destination, I usually take a few moments to gather myself. I'll either sit, or take a walk, a few breaths and then I'm okay. This is usually mistaken for some sort of unhappiness. I'm not 100% sure what the feeling is (I'm aware it's nervousness but the feeling is more), but I know it's not unhappiness.
Anyway, I've stopped being shy about it. I've told more people what's going on, trying to assure them that it isn't that kind of a feeling. It's a nervousness. So at this party, a friend asked if I was ready, and I told him that I wasn't. I believe my exact words were, "I'm sorry, I'm not ready yet, I'm still pretty fucking nervous to do anything yet". His response? "Cool, take your time. I appreciate your honesty".

Too many times unnerving feelings are punished and thrown as the person having a problem. Although this whole thing might not happen to everyone, I'm comfortable saying how I feel now. I owe that ease of feeling to the pal that responded with such. People watching, I found, is the simplest and quickest way for me to accept my surroundings, accept the change, and place myself in the current. I know that my situation might be a little unique, but for those that might be in the same boat, may I suggest to the people around them.. before approaching someone asking them, "What's wrong?", give them a few minutes to catch themselves. They might need that absorption time.. and to everyone who does do that, thanks. You're making these characteristics so much easier to deal with. I'll be good in five minutes:)


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

ur the best botcheezy