Tuesday, June 1, 2010

A 2ND MOMENT WITH BOTCH.


i am almost always, holding my blackberry.


ACTUALLY, FUCK THAT.
i'm almost ALWAYS holding something. cigarettes, a drink, a lighter, keys, a camera.. there is always something in my hands. seriously. i'm sure if you checked every picture i've posted, 90% of the time, i'm holding something. i'm a very touchy person.. when i meet people, i appreciate a good fucking firm handshake. unhhh yeah, handshake. nice and firm baby, nice and firm.
i think i always have my berry on hand because i honestly NEVER hear it. if i put it in my purse or some shit, you can expect your call to not be answered.. which happens.. and when i respond to people it's usually followed by "holy five years later!".. YEAH I KNOW. i'm not a good phone person.
the thing that's the worst about this is bbm.. because the person you're talking to can totally see whether you've read their message or not.. so i usually see a message, and say, "okay, i'll respond right after i leave/pee/finish this drink/order/tie my shoe" whatever.. it doesn't happen. then i get the bitch treatment, "BOTCH WHY THE FUCK ARENT YOU TALKING TO ME!?".. i'm sorry people, shit!
pressing on that, my memory is horrible. like, it's literally fucked to shit.. i don't even remember half the shit i've blogged about. i might've already said all of this shit already. if your lead into a conversation starts with "yo botch, remember that time when.." no. no mother fucker i don't. i don't remember shit. i don't remember appointments, none of that.. for some reason though, i'm semi-good at remembering birthdays. IN FACT.. i just typed out the birthdays, but i decided to write something else.. so i backspaced remembering birthdays, but i FORGOT what i was going to add, so i added birthdays back in. LOL. fuck me.
i also have no fucking sense of direction.. when i travel, airport staff is my best friend. "hi, can you help me?".. "sure, you just have to go straight make a left, past that blue.." and i'm lost. so i go a few steps and ask another person, cuz i am fucking dense. i get lost in fucking malls. it's ridiculous.. when i do remember locations or addresses, my friends are shocked like "whaaattttt.. look who's giving me directions!" yeah bitches. it might be rare, but it happens.. and when it does, it's cool sunglasses time.
i'm really loud, and vocal.. and i swear all the time everywhere, and i catch myself doing it and apologize to the world. it happens too frequently and i feel like people look at me like "darn this little hoodlum! punk kids".. at the same time, whilst apologizing, i could give a fuck. i jump on benches and banisters downtown, and walk them like tight ropes. middle finger to the world, cause i'm enjoying my own.
that sounds so emo, but i swear i'm a pretty up beat person.. believe me! i laugh just as loud as i cuss.

i have a list of things to blog about and i'm going to try and get through all of them this week.. i haven't really been doing shit aside from working and what not. my cousin recently introduced me to this comedian named jo koy, and i have spent countless hours watching his shit. he has to be one of the funniest fuckers on the planet, and not only that but he's fucking hot. fuuuucckkkk.. a sense of humor is so sexy.. he has this one bit where he talks about how his son plays with his dick and i was dyingggg.. i've watched it four times since she's showed me.. and i won't tell you when she showed me but i will say it was recently. check him out.. here's the vid. laugh a little.
no choose-day today cause i really couldn't think of anything to ask you. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM?

3 COMMENT:

Anonymous said...

i went through three picture posts, u are correct. u should get one of those belt clips that hold phones. i've never seen a girl with one, could b kind a cool.

Anonymous said...

I must say im having a pretty shitty day and i watched this guy on your Blog and made me feel better!!

P.S
I think you would lose your phone with the belt clip then wed have bigger problems.

xoxo
Bianca

syntifik said...

#1: uhhh no belt clip for me thanks.. i think those look pretty homo ahaha.. just on my though.

bianca: you know i got you mami! i lose phones so much it should be on my resume "skills - excellent at losing mobiles"