YOU LIKE THE WAY I SWING..

THROWBACK THURSDAY

THE EX-BOYFRIEND EDITION

so for throwback thursdays, i figured i'd start off with some old hip hop vids that i enjoyed.. then my boyfriend said "why don't you do exboyfriends?!" i guess he's trying to get some information about my past, which i have no problem about.. plus shit might be kind of relatable.. so why the fuck not?!
i've never dated anyone from my high school, this guy was no different. we'll call him.. jim. so jim was really into biggie, and at the time i was going through this ready to die is the greatest album on earth type deal so we really connected. we would just spit biggie lines to each other all the time. plus he was like this bad ass dress all in black type dude.. and he wore fitteds all the time, what wasn't there to like?! i was 15 and thought dude was the shit.. i would write journal entries about him, plastered with his name in different types of wannabe graf writing thinking we would be the illest couple on the block. i didn't really let him in on how much i was diggin him.. i figured "hey i'm fifteen, the fuck do i know?! i'm not ready for a relationship".. and at the beginning of our .. "beginning" i guess.. he told me straight up, "don't fall for me.". to this day i never really got that.
did he say that to be charming?! to be funny?! so that a piece of me could want what i couldn't have?! or was he honestly telling the truth!? it's whatever, teenager type shit. eventually the weekly conversations became daily and he became my best secret. i didn't let too many people know about him, part of it was because i wasn't sure if we were anything, and part of it was to make sure if it was anything, that i didn't get too involved. that didn't help me none. i was stuck on dude.. but i still played the part, like he wasn't as dope.
we had a few downs, he was a trouble maker, got suspended all that type of shit, so we'd lose contact for like days at a time.. without me knowing what was going on he'd just disappear for a minute. this went on for like .. four months or so, literally on and off. then i found out he was "talking" to some next broad.. and when you're fifteen, talking on the phone with another girl, is cheating. so i said fuck him. i'm ill anyways.. and i cut him off for like two weeks. christmas eve, he calls me, and he's drunk as shit lol.. so he calls me, telling me "yo i just wanna wish you a merry christmas and all that shit" and i'm ranting and raving like "no fuck you, you're a fucking jerk! i know who you've been talking to!" and he feeds me this shit like "yo i don't even like broad.. she's wack.. i'll stop talking to her for you, she means nothing!" meanwhile his battery's dying.. and it was them old school flip nokias, the ones that make that alien ship sound when the battery dies, so i can hear it, and we're both trying to get the last word before his battery dies.. AND I SWEAR TO YOU.. i can not make this shit up!! his word was like, "BUT BOTCH.. i FUCKING LOVE YOU!" and the battery dies.. and i'm sittin there crying my heart out like what?! love and shit?! it's christmas and all this is just crazy!
after that night, i didn't call him back. i think i texted him something like "merry christmas" but it never went any further. then, like four months later i ACCIDENTALLY some how started talking to someone who was like his best friend .. okay not his best friend, his brother (i didn't know that until later!).. lol shit it was nothing though.. just innocent friendly type gander.. and i was at my buddy's bbq.. and i called him, and JIM answered. freaking out, i hung up.. then in JUNE, i started dating this guy.. who i found out later was his cousin. so of course, he ended up hating me. the cousin at the time obviously didn't want me getting back with jim, so he would tell me what jim was saying about me. words got thrown around and he would hear shit that i said about him, and i would hear shit that jim said about me.. and it was battle of the sexes for that entire year. i eventually one day tried to call him.. but he hated me so he didn't take the call.. and still hates me, to this day. which is understandable, hey. i think i even wrote him a letter like last year, and got no response..
some freaky shit happened with dude though.. i was in his hood one time with my best friend maribeth, and i wanted to call my mom, just cause.. i was in his hood and kind of a little heart broken teenager, and i whipped out my phone and it was dialing his number. LOL..
WHATEVER. that shit is so far past done.. i'm just not sure he ever knew how much i dug him.. he was like the cake at the party that you didn't get to try.. lol. you leave the party and you're like dammit, i shouldve at least taken the cake home. i remember him telling me "you missed out botch. you definitely missed out".. and still i'm like did dude really like me?! or was he just saying shit to toy with a fifteen year old's head?! OH JIM. jim is the best. you remember that shit!? i do.