I KEEP WATCHING THE "HEY DADDY" VIDEO. seriously. it makes me miss scarborough like crazy. DAMMIT LEX. i totally DID NOT sleep last night. i'd literally wake up fifteen minutes. hugging pillows is not the same.. they don't have heart beats. so instead of doing something productive with myself.. i just watch videos all day and it seems to be helping.. feel free to get lost.. between god and a shot of scotch.
i've decided to share with you the videos that i've had in rotation.. which consist of a lot of cudi videos, cause well.. lex:( and.. it's cudi? harhar.
USHER - OMG you try and be the one to tell me this is not going to be the "drinks in the air-sing along really loud-nod your head with a big group of friends" song of the summer.. i found you finally.. make me wanna say, oh.. oh.. oh.. oh.. oh.. omgggggg.
CIARA - RIDE maribeth is right. this vid is too fucking crazy. i wish i was her. fuckkk.. "BOOTIES LOOK LIKE THIS SIZE"..
KID CUDI, DAVID GUETTA - MEMORIES uhm pretty sure everyone heard this on my blog before ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD!! i love cudi, and what's even cooler about this video is that it was made on my birthday.. so it's official.. this song is mine.. forever.
SOME GUY - NOTHING ON YOU dear god.. seriously.. seriously though.. i just want to rip him out of my screen and bite his lip til it bleeds.....yeaaaaaa...aaahhhh.
KID CUDI - SOUNDTRACK 2 MY LIFE because i want someone to film my life, so i can make a video juzzzz like this! somebody?! anybody?! i'll pay you in high fives.
KID CUDI, SNOOP - THAT TREE apparently cardboard cut outs are the new video thangg.. but i digs it.. and this chorus is sucha banger.
KID CUDI - CUDDERISBACK can you believe this vid is shot on a macbook!? fucking awesome. & this is totally what life is like when you get home from a night of partying.. juzz fucking chill and shit. loove.
LUPE FIASCO - I'M BEAMIN DAMMIT LUPE!! DAMMIT!! I FUCKING LOVE YOU!! you have to be one of the smartest mother fuckers on the planet and i want to make out with you. please discover my blog and come to me and rap for me. SEMICOLON, CLOSED PARENTHESIS ! uhmmm.. what!! this is exactly why i have a lupe tattoo.. FOR SHIT LIKE THIS!!!!! & when cardboard can be this interesting, you know you're on some next level shit.
NAS, DAMIAN MARLEY - AS WE ENTER FUCK YEAAAAAHHHH!!! I FUCKING LOVE YOU NAS! look at him wearing that toque all stuss like it's the it ain't hard to tell vid or some shit.. AND HIS LINE UP IS SO CLEAN! ACCCKKKK!!! & this song is such a banger.. it just makes me wanna break shit! nas fucking has his flow ON POIIINNTT!! he's got his fucking flow back, and it is fucking beautiful people, FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. stand the fuck up!
WYCLEF JEAN, CANIBUS - GONE TIL NOVEMBER thanks a lot fucker. i miss you so fucking much, i feel retarded. like one of those.. girls. like an actual girl who like.. has emotions and shit. i don't play that! right.. it's embarrassing how much i miss you.
USHER - HEY DADDY because usher's last album was complete garbage.. and finally.. usher's back.. and because i can't wait to say, "daddy's home".. miss you baby. xoxo!
PEOPLE WHO TAKE SHIT THAT I'VE SAID ALREADY people e-mail me when they see something i've said on a blog. if i've already stated something and people dig it, sick. that's awesome. it's a feel good.. but if you're going to take something i've said and try and use it as something you've said, i will get at you for it. quote me. fucking quote me. you did not come up with that piece of brilliance, I DID. so don't caption your fucking fb pictures with my words, don't blog my words, UNLESS, you are going to quote me. you're not botch. so give me my credit.
FRONT DESK BITCHES the dentist, government buildings, doctor's offices. look bitch. i understand that you have your hair did, and you feel important, but you're really not. so when i walk in, state my business, and you don't look up, give me a rude statement like "do you have this this and this, i'm not sure how long your wait is going to be.. BLAH BLAH" OR.. who answer phone calls inbetween those sentences, without saying "excuse me a second".. they just take the call! then they stay on the phone for hours, while i stand there, looking at her/him. LOOK BITCH, i'm here for a fucking reason, and you're supposed to get that reason achieved. holier than thou bitches. fuck you.
LIBRARY CREEPERS i'll sit at a computer to do whatever.. and with a row of like 40 computers, a random stranger will sit beside me. REALLY?! right beside me?! do you see ALL OF THE OTHER EMPTY COMPUTERS?!!!? then they will look at my computer screen every five seconds.. BUT IF I GET UP TO MOVE, i'm the jerk.
NON-SMOKERS WHO HATE SMOKERS you are not better than anybody just because you made a different life choice.
UGLY PEOPLE WITH HOT PEOPLE IN THEIR PROFILE PICTURES guys always seem to throw in a hot girl from an import show in their profile pictures. okay, we get it.. you know how to take a picture with a hot girl that you don't know. it doesn't make you look like a pimp when you have 40 of the same profile pictures. i just think you're a creeper.
TOONIE TUESDAY you don't fucking cost a toonie.. and you get more expensive every tuesday, or so it seems. BOO.
ORGANIC FOODS you're expensive, and you go bad faster.. it doesn't help me.
MISSING ALEX i missssssssssssssss hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmm!!!!
After jam packing life into a duffel, we went to sleep. Moments of silence are broken only by a heart beat. I dug my head as deep into his chest as I could. Every thump was exactly what I wanted to hear, and exactly what I didn't. Only because each beat was a second closer to leaving. I shut my eyes, shut them tight; thinking that maybe for that instant, I could make time stop. He woke me up at 7:30 A.M. I shut my eyes, trying to some how use my mind to make the clock quit ticking, even if just for a moment. "2 minutes?".. he chuckled and said "okay". Two minutes came too early. He grabbed a duffel and handed me a bag. As we left the door, I tried again to make time stop, but it wasn't happening. Weren't we just packing? He hugged me, and when his heart beat wasn't pounding against mine, for just an instant, time stopped.
Now it's the opposite. I want time to fast-forward to me waking up, having you right there. Missing someone gets easier with time.. because even though it is one day further from the last time you saw each other, it is one day closer to the next time you will. I am anxiously waiting for the day I get to say, "daddy's hoooomeee".
I said goodbye to Scarborough this morning, and it wasn't easy. It is raining, and raining hard. I plan to go to my room and blast the "Foreign Exchange", and grab a listen at rain hitting the window. Call me crazy, but each drop sounds kind of like a heart beat.
some times, bad things happen. some times, good people experience bad things. & then, there are some times where you gotta brush off bad, and say "fuck it, move forward". i love both my boyfriend and my friends, equally. & although not all experiences thrown at me are good, i have learned to embrace everything as learning. your apologies, meant everything. & i love you, both.
i had a good weekend..
and now i'm going out with an austrailian, my best friend teej, and scarborough. i'm super stoked to hear an austrailian accent in real life! i feel like i should give him a book, and tell him to read it, then record that shit. you'd probably like more details, but i'll give them to you in my next post..!!
my apologies for the previous bummer of a post. i get sort of in a slump when it's that time of the year. apologies to the missed phone calls.. and to the calls i did take, my bad for being such a fucking bitch. i'm an asshole when i'm moody. hardest day out of the year for me, and my immune system wasn't helping.. so for an update on that, my eye can open now.. i'm still itchy but maintaining. no real progress aside from that, but i'll let you guys know more as time goes.
two skipped sneaker saturdays in a row, dang botch. get on.
in other news.. come celebrate the mayweather win tonight at my house ;) and don't make fun of my allergy face:( lol.. pounds and pounds of make up, you are my only friend.
Consistently making a mess of things, she's either "funny" or "weird". Botcho usually finds herself awake for too long despite her love of sleep. She's busy exploring the world with a taste for fashion, concerts, breaking rules, hair dying and pizza. She only calls herself a writer in an attempt for her blog to make sense. For all business inquiries, you can contact her mom.
syntifik@hotmail.com
