CATCALL VIDEO QUICK BLURB.

In case you haven't seen the video:



Now, watch this:


OKAY. Now let's discuss. First things first, WHAT IS THIS MAN EVEN SAYING?! Never, ever, has a catcall boosted my self-esteem. Catcalls have made me feel dirty and degraded though, and THAT's what catcalling is. Saying women should "carry a gun", or "carry mace", is RIDICULOUS. Tell me how that is different than "don't get raped" and "don't rape". Everyone should treat everyone with respect. That is it. No question. It shouldn't have to be questioned. Has a relationship ever begun from a catcall? Find me one. If you are truly interested in a female, do something less gross, please. We love non-gross things. That's it, that's my guide to woo a female: do something that isn't gross.

#bye

RANDOM CHILDHOOD MEMORY #1:

I remember being sick a lot as a kid. I dunno if I was sick all the time, or if sick memories just stick out more because they're different than an ordinary day and have certain specifics about them. Anyway..

MEGA GROSS ALERT!!
It was winter, I had the flu. I was in the back seat of the family car. My mom in the passenger, my dad the driver, and my brother beside me. I wasn't feeling too sick; in the sense that I don't recall being too hot, or too stuffy, but I suddenly had the urge to vomit. Christmas music was blaring, and my mom and dad kept giving each other these glances and smiles during their conversation. Small chuckles and Christmas hit my ears but all I could hear was my mind saying "Don't puke!". Then. It came up.
It was small, and I didn't open my mouth. It was foamy type phlegm, and not a whole lot. I just, kept it there. Inside of my mouth. I knew I couldn't puke in the car and there wasn't a garbage can in sight, so I decided to wait until we got home.
The Christmas songs and laughter continued. I had this phlegm foam puke in my mouth and couldn't wait to spit it out. Then my dad asked, "Why are you so quiet?".
"Behcuase I Pahuked", I replied. I placed the puke foam at the back of my mouth to try and reply, anyway. The words came out like my mouth was stuffed with food, and the words muffled and foamy. That was enough. I swallowed, and answered again. "Because I puked."
"What?!", he asked.
"Because I puked", I replied casually.
"Well, where did you puke?"
"In my mouth. I swallowed it", another casual response.
"WHAT?! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO SWALLOW IT!"

Then my brother just laughed and laughed. I knew I had it in my mouth because I was being a good girl. You know, not puking all over the place, doing grown up deeds. After explanations from my parents telling me that it was okay for them to pull over if I had to puke, I realized, hey, it's cool. You're still being a grown up by letting the rents know you need to puke. And also, don't swallow it for some reason. Grown ups don't like that.

THE FAVOR MONSTER.

I have this huge issue with people who ask for handouts all the time. Especially when they get pissy when you say "no" one time. Friendship is so easy. It's fun, it's timeless, it's hilarious, and if it isn't, then it's time to re-evaluate. If you get upset when someone doesn't say "yes" to your favor, look at yourself. Do you ask people to do things all the time?! Do you need help moving? Do you need to borrow a few bucks?! Are you cleaning out your garage?! Do you need a ride?! Installing a new entertainment unit?! BUT CAN'T FIND HELP ANYWHERE?! WELL CONGRATULATIONS! You just won the title of the "FAVOR MONSTER"! Your prize includes an all-inclusive stay at being an asshole and having no friends forever!

Seriously. If you find yourself in a hole, you shouldn't have to beg for it. Shit, you should even have people offering you a helping hand without you asking! If you don't, it's because you're a prick.

How about a slice of pizza or a "thank you" for fucking once?! Gawd.
I give my help to those that deserve it and are there for me, you can move on with your favors, I am not answering.

HEY NEIGHBOR,

You know if you would stop mowing your lawn, I wouldn't have to mow my lawn. Then we could both just have jungle yards, and not give a fuck! BUUUUTTTTTTTTT.. since you keep mowing your lawn, you're making me look kind of bad, brah. Stop being so proper and live a little, join my fucka lawn party..!


Seriously guys. Anyone wanna come over and mow my lawn?! Fuck.

CREEP REPELLANT, ANYBODY?

WHAT'S WACK WEDNESDAY!?!?! I'LL TELL YOU..

Hit the jump.DAY 1 - MONDAY: I meet this guy, who we shall call, Frank, for the sake of story-telling. Frank is nice, introduces himself and we have a chat about hockey. A random stranger, acting randomly kind. I didn't mind, work brings in a lot of random kind strangers, who I don't mind being randomly kind to in return. Then he asks if I have a Christmas tree. When I reply no, he says, "I could go get you one. They're only like 20 bucks!". I kindly, refused.. but said I'd ask my family, although they weren't really into it. (A kind, lie, that I made up). During this, a woman had slipped, and went into shock.. so I had to stay with her and make sure her legs were elevated until more paramedics came (Thanks college, you helped me help her).. so with all the commotion and business, I had to act randomly kind to another stranger, and he had left.

DAY 2 - TUESDAY: Frank returns. I'm a little un-comfortable with the situation, but put on my best efforts to be polite. This time, however.. he comes bearing a gift. A leather jacket. When I ask him why he brought me a leather jacket, he says, "because you're really nice, and do a great service". I say it's inappropriate, but he insists and leaves the jacket behind. In the jacket pocket, a note is left. It has the following message, "Hey. Here's my phone number", along with his phone number, hearts all over the paper, and also that there's a Christmas surprise in the other pocket. When I check the other pocket, there is a toothbrush, and a condom. I was livid. I'M NO FUCKING HOOKER. I'm HALF your age, and the fact that he even thought I would say yes to this sleepover package made me want to vomit and punch someone out. After crying with anger and trying to calm down, I take matters into the best way I know how. With this, comes the following plan: A friend, who is a police officer will come to my workplace at the same time he arrived today and will try and figure out a solution.

DAY 3 - TODAY (WEDNESDAY): My police officer friend, who we will call Max, comes in at the same time. We drink coffee for about a half hour before finally facing the fact Creepzilla isn't coming around. So, as we're about to pack our things and go.. Frank walks in. HE FUCKING CAME BACK?! Really? My hand started to shake in anger and I gave Max a slight nod. When Max asks to speak to Frank, and asks for a conversation, Frank refuses. Then Max shows him his badge. Frank complies. After a stern talking to, Frank denies he ever made any advances at me, nor did he give me a jacket or condom.. but Max assures him that he needs to leave me alone, and never come back to the area.

Now.. I try to be nice to everyone I work with, and all the people I deal with.. because that's my job. I couldn't believe that this fuckin' fuck, had the idea that he was more special than anybody else I deal with.. OR, that I would even be remotely interested in something of that nature AT ALL. I have never felt so degraded and disgusted in my entire fucking life. For my well-being, and safety, I had someone who is not only an amazing person, but a great friend, come to my rescue. I don't know how the fuck he deals with these creeps on the daily without wanting to fuck up every single one. I am nobody's one night stand, nobody's hooker, and nobody's piece of meat.. and when someone decided to treat me in such a way, I am so fucking lucky that I had the support of phenomenal people willing to make sure I was okay, and comfortable.

These fuckin' creeps need to take a look at their lives and see what the fuck they're doing. You're taking innocence and random kindness and turning that into something that no one wants to do.. solely because of their fucking fear that said stranger could be a creep. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, bums on the street don't ALWAYS get change, but I give my symptahy and change to people I feel need an out. I give smiles and conversations to as many strangers as I can to try and show the world that not everyone is an asshole. BUT, this guy was. He was a fucking dirty, perverted, rude, thoughtless, senseless, bitch ass, mother fucking, prick.. who I HOPE, gets nothing but the fucking worst in life. Rot in hell mother fucker, and I hope to never see your face again. You're the wackest Wednesday that I've ever had in my entire life.. and for that, I wish nothing but the worst for you. Hmph. You can take your phony ass kindness and randomly shove it up your ass, cunt.

A g'day.