Sunday, March 25, 2012


Awolnation's "sail" is currently my favorite song. So when you're feeling really down, and you head into an empty bar, and you hear this song.. And you've spent the night telling your best friend how much you miss your cousin, and you could spend that entire four minutes not talking, hearing your fave song.. well.. that's .. something.
I've been telling my mind to stop the sadness, and I've been doing it with a lot of beer.. and a lot of good people. Drinking from midnight til 7 in the morning will really fuck you up.. but I can't lie and say it didn't help. Being without a cell phone was weird, and also kind of nice. It was anything goes. I flew where everyone else was flying..
I'm really fucking blue, guys. Being out in an atmosphere where everyone's happy and trying to get laid isn't for me right now.. but when I'm with my favorite people in rooms where music is blaring, I almost feel like I don't exist.. and I guess in wording, that may seem sad, but it's not. Feeling like you don't exist for a few hours takes you away from all the bull shit going on.
Not to say I don't face random moments where I completely break down. That's still happening.. but the few hours where I can just have people who actually give two shits, that's fucking wonderful.

I appreciate all the e-mails, phone calls, text messages, and whatever else social media notifies me of. I'm sorry I haven't been keeping up with them all. Slow responses aren't meant to throw up an impression I don't want to speak to any of you.. I just don't want to speak.

All words I have are lyrics, blog entries.. and all silences are drowned out by a bottle of beer and really loud music.. and that's what I want right now.

I have good people surrounding me, down to let me cry, down to let me not say a word.. and I couldn't be any more thankful. These blues couldn't be any better. Ha. Good problems.