SCREWFACE CAPITAL

that's my city and i run it, while you just run around in it

back for the first time

25 THINGS ABOUT TORONTO

25.SCARBOROUGH whether it be malvern, glendower, section 6, parma, flemo, or chester le, (sorry if i forgot any) we all hold it down. i'm from the place with the stupidest nicknames. scarlem, scompton, scarberia, and scarlanka?!
24.THE BLUFFS a sweet place down an outrageous hill just beside a suicide cliff. come during the day for great scenery, maybe a picnic, or even an adventurous hike along the lakeshore. OOORRR come at night where after hour club people stroll along the beach or just dangitty in there cars.
23.EDWARD'S GARDENmy favourite secret of Toronto is Edward's Garden. a botanical garden that's most beautiful during the mid summer. it's the start of the toronto bike trail, open fields, dog parks, picnic grounds, horse back riding, a small ravine to feed ducks, the best scenery of flowers and trails a.k.a the best spot to take a date.
22.TTC
they raise the prices every now and then, complain about there rights quite often, and go on strikes even more. without them, we are left stranded. this is your Toronto bible, memorize it!
21.WOODBINE BEACH
Lake Ontario water isn't the cleanest water to swim in but still good enough. volleyball on wednesdays are bomb! walking on the boardwalk is chillage, and nothing beats having an ice cream at the beach on a hot day (especially with all are smog) WORD TO BOTCH!
20.YONGE STREET
bussiest street in Toronto, longest in Canada! kinda a big deal
19.YONGE DUNDAS SQUARE
my Toronto hater of a friend called it the time's square ripoff. i don't care, i'm kinda debating if i should consider this as the heart of Toronto? it's up there, but it certainly is the centre of my city.
18.QUEEN STREET
obviously highlighted by the chum city building home of citytv and muchmusic. Queen street is the place to be on a hot summer day of shopping. little boutiques and patios, with the street filled with only the prettiest and flyest.
17.TORONTO ISLAND
this is the infamous view from toronto island, the inspiration for my tatoo. take a ferry, stroll the paths along the day OOORRR rock out at night.
16.QUEEN'S ALLEY
Toronto's best display of local and international grafitti. starts just beside muchmusic and goes all the way past Bathurst in the back alleys of the buildings along Queen Street.
15.NATHAN PHILLIPS SQUARE
another canidate for centre of Toronto. chillage during the summer while the water fountains are streaming. BUT nothing beats skating on the frozen ice during the winter!!! just ask Botch about our first date.
14.HOTDOGS
SSOOOOOOOOOOOO supposedly Winnipeggers are religious about how amazing there street meat is?! i beg to differ TORONTO STREET MEAT>over your city's hotdogs. i really mean it.
13.CP24
you already know CP24 is on lock right now on your tv, this is your bible!!! Gord Martineau = GOAT.
12.DRAKE
Botch is going to hate me for this one! Toronto finally has a voice in hip hop and not just a minor one, a big one!!! dude is talented and is the next to blow (pause)! i'm not going to hype him up too much, but i hope he makes our city proud, we're all behind you on this one.
11.KARDINAL OFFISHALL
before there was Drake, there was Kardi. been putting out hot shit but never been able to reach to the masses outside the t.dot. dangerous did well but his cd did ok i guess. hopefully he can keep putting in work and get the recognition he deserves ..... ol' time killing.
10.DJ STARTING FROM SCRATCH
if you ever listened to flow 93.5 at 5 pm, you'd know exactly who dj starting from scratch is? traffic show mix show!!!!! where scratch just murders his own mixes and songs he blends together. PARTY IN YOUR CAR. but unfortunately he's kinda lost some cool points with me of travelling up to Winnipeg and hitting on my girlfriend?!

9.CIRCA
the original owner was a new york club owner so i guess he knew what he was doing when he bought the former playdium building over and built his own club costing around 2 million with about 20 hidden rooms. it was hot when it opened. odd crowd on the fridays but they always came through with the special guests. too bad the owner sold his club for a shit load of money to some new owners who are trying to turn it into strictly a hip hop place. overall, probably one of the best clubs in TO. an escalator in a club?!
8.GOODFOOT
TO's first sneaker spot opened back in 2003, right in the middle of the SB era and has expanded into ransom, nomad, stussy toronto, along with 3 other Toronto locations. Livestock you still got a place in my heart.
7.CARIBANA
long weekend August, it's a wrap! streets are flooded, clubs are flooded, gal wine pon mi. IT'S JUST A HUGE PARTY
6.KENSINGTON MARKET
just walking in the area gives you the best vibe. local marketers selling anything creative from vintage gear to homegrown vegetables.
5.STREETCARS
you know your downtown Toronto when ...
4.CNE GROUNDS/ONTARIO PLACE
Ontarion Place is fun for a million things especially when the ampitheatre is rocking but for the 2 1/2 weeks in august leading to Labour day weekend, nothing beats the CNE.
3.TORONTO SPORTS TEAMS
Kerry Joseph is not a good fit for the Argonauts. Chris Bosh is going to leave us but hopefully Hedo and Bargnani step up for the Raptors. Leafs aren't going to win much but atleast they'll fight every game, Burke knows what he's doing and the Jays need one more slugger, DON'T TRADE HALLADAY!!!
2.ROGERS CENTRE
i was alittle upset when Ted Rogers bought over the Skydome and renamed it the Rogers Centre but it's grown on me. First baseball game memories, a date with Botch, crisp day open dome, beers, yankees.
1.CN TOWER
you didn't think i was going to leave this one out, DID YOU??? C'monnnnnn. Dubai may have built a bigger tower but we still love ours the same. this is my city and i put on for it.



hope i didn't miss anything too critical. anyways hope you had fun. my name is Alex ... again. my favourite color is red, my favourite number is 9, my favourite beer is Blue, and kobe>lebron




( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

BITE MY LIP

FUCK.. IT'S SO FUCKING HOT..

sticky sweaty kind of hot.
so am i the only person in the world who thinks this girl is bunk as fuck?! no idea why she's getting so much love.. no idea what-so-ever. fucking ew.. anyway .. back to the 25's.. i'll just get right to it!

25 COULD GET IT

25. WEEZY
lil wayne is probably the ugliest mother fucker on the planet.. but he could still get it. something about his fucking swag that's so fuckin proper! he'd be like the sloppy dance floor introduction, 8 beers too many, dude who doesn't call you for three months til he's ready to party again.. but you still go over when he calls, cuz he's a good time.



24. SLUG
believe it. slug is number 24. as much as i LOVE slug, it's his swag that i'm after. i found slugs raps to be so different, and so real, and he comes so hard, but he raps so chill. like how do you rap chill and still come hard?! the first time i saw slug live, i was like omgg.. i need to bang this man.. but it's died down a little.. but i think if i saw him live it'd go back to like top fifteen status. i just think the cigarette with him afterwards would still be hot shit.. and for that, he makes the cut.



23. COOL CALM PETE
i fell in love with cool calm pete about three years ago, and every time i hear his song on my berry it feels like i'm hearing him for the first time. HIS VOICE IS SOOO FUCKING SEXY. i just want him to talk shit and call me ill na na. "the beats so hot, they sizzle when you mumble like-- i know im nice but keep it on the humble like, so nice you had to say it thrice.." so facking HOT.. AND AND when he says "tellin me she like it when i rap sloooww.. then she kissed the dick, pure bliss!" ahhaha. dude that's too wicked.



22. RYAN MALONE
FUCKA PEN.. and the bay! don't even matter.. ryan is so pretty!



21. JAKE GYLLENHAAL
he'd take you out for dinner, back to his crib, a glass of wine.. then he'd smile.. and it'd be so done.



20. JR SMITH
he's cocky, he's kind of an asshole.. and it's kind of sexy?! he's sloppy at times, but dude can score. he's like one of those dude's that's only in it to hit it.. and that's kinda fine by me.



19. JOSH PECK
maribeth says he's a little too metro. FUCK THAT! he makes me laugh and when he talks about wu-tanG my heart stops.. he knows how to make fun of himself without embarrassing himself, and i LOVE that about him.



18. PENN BADGLEY
once those beach pictures leaked.. it was so done.. AND OKAY, i guess gossip girl does have a lot to do with it.. that christmas scene was too spicy! he's so clumsy and shit on the show, but he's still ill na na.. and in real life he dresses so perfect..!



17. ED WESTWICK
HELLLLLLOOOO!! i love assholes. chuck included!!



16. SHIA LABEOUF
what's that movie where he's on house arrest?! i can't remember.. but that's the movie that did it for me. holy damn shia. holyyy damn. i wanna make out with you! then have a cigarette with you !! yay? nay?



15. JEREMY PIVEN
told you. it's all about the assholes. he just looks like he's a good kisser.. and like he smells good. smelling good is not an option, it's mandatory!



14. ALEX RODRIGUEZ
fuckin A! 1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base.. hoooooooooooooome.



13. T.I.
man i remember trying to google t.i. pictures back in the day, nothing would come up. i had to type in "t.i. rubberband man" to get like two pictures.. preposterous! but now when you google t.i. he's just all over the net..!! i hear he's really short .. i don't give a fuck.. t.i. could get it.. and he can bust wherever he likeeeee.. just kidding..! relax.



12. JACK JOHNSON
GIMMIE BANANA PANCAKES!! and forehead kisses!! jack johnson is the guy that makes you breakfast in the morning while you sleep, then wakes you up with a kiss and waffles! then you lay in bed the whole day while he tells you jokes and stories while playing with your hands and your hair.. then he kisses you passionately, "mama made a baby, really don't mind to practice, cuz ur my little lady".. sure why not!



11. MARK WAHLBERG
am i the only one who watches fear and is kind of turned on by it?! okay, so he's a psycho .. and tries to murder his girlfriend's family.. that's one thing i can live without.. but faackkahhf! he's so gangster and smexy. rough me up marky.. rough, me, up.



10. TOM BRADY
*sigh.



9. COLIN FARRELL
let's make out. let's make out. let's make out.



8. JOHNNY KNOXVILLE
okay, so he's kind of weird.. but i like it. you try and tell me he is not one of the hottest men alive! that smile fucking kills me! and every time his mouth is just the slightest bit open.. it's not good for me. it's just not. faCk. he looks like he bites too.. i've said too much.



7. JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE
justin knows what to do.. make you feel like a queen!



6. ADRIAN GRENIER
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU ADRIAN GRENIER! you're such a studdddd.. & i wanna banG you on a beach!....that is all, wait. let's add some exclamation marks for effect..!!!!!!!!!!!!



5. JAMES FRANCO
I LOVE YOU JAMES FRANCO! tell me something about this guy that you just don't love?! plus he's a stoner so we can totally blaaze it up.. before.. and after.. during.



4. METHOD MAN
method man's a good lay. if you're wondering how i know, just listen to his raps. you'll be convinced. you act like his voice doesn't get you off. bang, blaze, bang, have a few beers, bang, then dag. oh method man..



3. KID CUDI
KID CUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIIII-I..I..
dear kid cudi, you're pretty high up on the dangiddy list.. because FACK. you're kid cudi! can i be your super boo?! for a night?! or two?! or five?!.. years? good god cudi.. the things i want to do to you, i can't even write about. i just want you. just .. i just want you. he's tall and he's beautiful.. and his real name is scott. i dunno but scott is a sexy ass name. i wanna bite your neck and call you daddy.. (don't tell alex).. uhhhh KID CUDI FOREVER.



2. NAS
so.. now that kelis is out the picture.. feel free to call me.. anytime ;)



1. ALEX
cmaaann. as if you really thought you wouldn't be number one..! every time i see you i wanna bite you.. and yeah.. ima leave it at that.. every day though. every.. day. already hit it though, so dunno if you're even allowed to be on this list..! pretty good lay though.. car nights. straight bomb baby! keep it up! hahahah

beach every day (heat almost killed me today), drama in the air, too much beer, and no money makes me tired. payce.
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

I JUST WANT TO LET IT GO..

that'll be the best therapy for me..


i just came to get lost between god and a shot of scotch?THESE PAST FEW DAYS HAVE BEEN SO FUCKED UP.

i'm usually not one to complain, i mean, it might seem to many that i'm a pussy and can't deal with shit.. but you try a day in my shoes, 5 bills says you wouldn't be able to take it. i'm pretty good at brushing shit off, shoving it into a jar, closing that shit tight and moving on like everything's fucking peachy. which probably isn't the best way to go about things, but it's my way. so that's what i plan to do.. although i must admit, my box of jars is getting kind of full.. luckily i have the greatest friends to help me carry the load. bonibelle, bianca, my boys, my sister, my brother. they're all pretty fucking legit. so with them, limitations can't be set. no matter what happens EVER, i'll end up being okay.. with that said, i had lunch with some righteous people, plane tickets booked, my internet's running smoothly and i'm in a good mood.. so let's get to bloggin.

25 THINGS I JUST GOTTA DO

..before i die.

i wrote a list about five years ago, it's up to about 185 if i can remember correctly.. of things that i would like to do/accomplish before my time is up.. i get about one crossed off every.. 4 months, which is pretty pathetic.. but once october hits, i plan to go pretty hard at getting it done.. and once i hit the age of 25, i plan to spend that entire year working on that list. i can't find the list at the moment, so i'm going to do what i can from memory. here goes it.

1. GET SOMETHING PUBLISHED
it doesn't have to be a book. i really want to write a book, but i only have one i really WANT to write. i'd rather have an article or an interview published. do any publishers read my blog!? PUBLISH ME SON!

2. GET A TATTOO
roger! let's get our first tattoos together! i know what tattoo i've wanted since i was 15.. which makes me think it's a proper tattoo to get. i just haven't manned up enough to actually do it. i don't have the fucking balls either.. and i don't want to get it where i live.. meaning, i want to get it while i'm on vacation or something. i want it to be spontaneous, but at the same time i want it to look good. cheers to hoping that happens.

3. MEET NAS
yeah. nas is my hero. i say this pretty much every day and sometimes people are like, "well what if nas thinks you're a douche?!" well then.. that.. would really blow hahaha. i don't really know guys, if nas thinks i'm a douche, then that'll really suck.. cuz i done been waiting for like how many years to meet dude. i have a feeling when i meet him i'm gonna mumble and mess up my words but try and play it cool and it'll be a big mess anyway.. which i totally don't mind. meeting him, even if it's embarrassing, will still make me happy. he's my fucking idol!

4. MAKE OUT IN THE RAIN
not planned though. just happens.

5. SWIM WITH DOLPHINS
cuz i wanna touch a dolphin so badly! they just look so soft and righteous don't they?!

6. GO TO PARIS
.. i HAVE to. i just have to.

7. DONATE BLOOD
i've tried to donate blood, but i was never able to because my iron is always too low. so one day, when my iron is top notch, i want to get into that hospital and just be like, stab me bitches im donatin!! i'm just in it for the free cookies and juice afterward.. just kidding. i really want to do this, and hope i get the chance to!

8. SHOOT A GUN
aggie?! what happened to our shooting range date!?

9. SKY-DIVE
my dad did this all the time, and he took my sister a few times, so i feel like i just have to. i don't wanna do it til i'm like 25 though.. if i can, i'd like to go with my sister. i think that'd be so ill.. but she'd have one up on me cause she's done it before.. maybe not then. ahhahaha. she's just professional lol..

10. BUY A PLANE TICKET
.. by buy a plane ticket i mean, go to the airport and say "what international flight leaves next?!" and buying that ticket. no matter where it is.

11. SEND A MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE
i plan to do this in october. the message will say "5YN-tifik dot blogspot dot com".. holla son.

12. BE THE BOSS
so i checked my lottery tickets, and i won! but only $2.. so i guess my sneaker boutique is put on hold til the next lottery pot.. which is cool cuz i don't want 30 million, i want 50.

13. STAND BEHIND A WATERFALL
and then make-out behind it.. if permitted. showering in a waterfall would be pretty cool too.. but i guess it would have to be like.. a really soft hitting waterfall. a small one.. still game.

14. TEACH SOMEONE ILLITERATE TO READ
because i think i can do it.. and i think i would be able to do it without making the person feel like an idiot. i think everyone in the world deserves the gift of reading, and to give someone that option would be such a good feeling.. for the both of us.

15. RUN A MARATHON
i've already ran a marathon, but i was 17. so that was four years ago.. i'd like to run a marathon again.. and i know bianca's game so?

16. GO TO A BLUES BAR IN CHICAGO
because chicago is home to the blues.

17. SURF
i've been boogie boarding, and jet-skiing, and tubing.. but i haven't been surfing. i'm pretty scared of surfing because surfers get attacked by sharks (they think the surfboards are seals) so this would really be a triumphy moment for me.. ay richard! wutanG.

18. ATTEND THE SUPER BOWL
then dag.

19. HOST SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
uhm. shut up! i can totally do it. possibilities are endless! you wait and see bitches.. you wait and see..

20. GIVE $100 TO A BUSKER
as soon as i win the lottery, this is one of the first things i will do. i have a soft spot for buskers. they don't beg, they're workin for their shit.. on their fuckin' hustle.. i've gone through some pretty hard days, then i hear like a crazy radiohead/green day cover, and my day is good again. i'd like to give them that good day feeling one day.

21. MEET LUPE FIASCO
the chance is coming close people! it's coming close..!

22. HAVE A GRAND WEDDING
a huuuuge wedding. with doves!! "YOU KNOW WHY?! CUZ I CAN AFFORD IT!" - mikey. so down..

23. STAR-GAZE WITH SOMEONE ILL NA NA
i did this with my ex-boyfriend, but it was kind of short-lived.. like we only watched stars for like fifteen minutes before we decided to go back to the party and get drunker hahahah.. plus toronto's downtown lights kind of take away from actual star-gazing. i wanna stare at the stars for a good hour, at least.. i guess camping kind of counts but i was too head bust to like remember it. hahaha.

24. LIVE IN AN ANOTHER COUNTRY FOR AT LEAST A YEAR
at LEAST. new york counts. big up to new york.

25. BECOME PERFECTLY FLUENT IN AN ANOTHER LANGUAGE
because my french, tagalog and spanish are fucking mediocre. i want french first.. so i can go to paris..!

i had another 25 before this, and my internet shut down and i pretty much lost it. it fucking blows. so i'm going to have to re-write that again.. my internet is fucking corrupt to shit, just like my life! ay! hahahah.
in other news.. BIANCA IS HEREEEE!! yayayyayayyyy!! lezz parttyy like it's 1999 on a budget! holla. VIP on a budget.

weekend was crazy. pure crazy. can't even talk about it, cuz it was too crazy.. and they're only bound to get crazier. so waddup world, come fucking party with me bitches!! i'll see you at alive!
i also finally got my passport in.. so if anyone wants to go to chicago this weekend?! just throwin it out there..
HI ALI.. i just wanna say i wanna play with your son.. ! i didn't get a chance to at the beach cuz i was so hungovverrr and gross feeling. that is all..!

SNEAK PEEK !



( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

FUCK YOU, THIS IS MY BLOG!

when i first started this blog, i wasn't sure where it was going to go. i mean, at the time, i had facebook.. and i decided to start a blog and de-activate my facebook. i no longer wanted a facebook account for many reasons. i find if people want to communicate with me, i have a cell phone. i'm kind of old-fashioned. i believe in letters, and phone calls. i think that if i'm important enough, there are ways to contact me, and facebook is lazy. i don't need to "keep in touch" through facebook. nah, if people really care, it's not that hard to get to me. i like blogging because it's more me, everything here is designed by me. i put my time and effort in to this blog.. and if you find me interesting, you read it. if you find my words semi-decent, you comment. waddup world, thanks for the word. due to the hardships i've faced during this series, i've received a lot of help from you fuckers! a lot of suggestions, and that's word, too awesome. so.. for this 25, i'm doing nothing but questions/25 suggestions i've received from my readers! even though some of you punk asses are too shy to leave a name.. pansies. some of them are kind of hard to do 25, 25's a big number, so i decided to group them all together. i'll do what i can with them.. i hope the grouping doesn't get too confusing lol.. once again though, thanks.. bitches!

25 SUGGESTIONS

1. PLACES I'D LIKE TO LIVE
well after living in toronto, i'd like to step my game up to new york.. but that's only if my life is right. i'm not gonna move there without any game plan. i know that all people with dreams are like "i wanna live in new york!" and i always think those people are homos. hahaha. i don't see it as homo when i say it, cause well.. i'm awesome.. but really, i'm a city girl, i need to live in a city world. i'm one of the few people who could never live on like.. a beach. don't get it twisted, i LOVE the beach, i love the ocean.. but i also love snow, and christmas, and lights, and subways, and buses, and traffic, and walking, and cafes.. if you gave me a beach, and a park bench in new york, and said, "pick a place to read".. i'd pick the bench. call me an odd ball.. BUT.. i will DEFINITELY come back to winnipeg. it will always be number one, no matter what.

2. PLACES I'D LIKE TO VISIT
PARIS! tokyo! chicago!!! holy lupe. but no really.. i really do.. AND AUSTRAILIA! and amsterdam.. and brazil.. oh lawd. i wanna see the world.. show me the world! i want to be able to tell me kids "one time i was so broke, i slept on this park bench in brazil, and it started to rain, and i had no food.. it was one of the greatest experiences of my life!!".. what's with me and park benches?! hahaha

3. THINGS I WOULD WANT ON A DESERTED ISLAND
uhm.. a music player for sure. some food would be nice lol.. and either nas, kid cudi or alex, so i'd have someone to dangiddy dangiddy.. then we can just re-populate the island! and i can be ruler of ALL! ..haha? serious face. i'd want a picture of my parents, cause that would give me hope. a rosary, because when i get scared, i clutch on to my rosary like no thang.. and cigarettes. maybe some beer?! hahahah parrrrttyyy on an island bitch!!

4. MOMENTS TO RE-LIVE
walking downtown toronto in the freezing cold with alex. i could re-live that any day!

5. UNFORGETTABLE JOKES/MOMENTS
this one time, i dared marti (for one dollar) to jump the badminton pole in leadership. he took it as no problem. he had on these really baggy sweat pants.. like gangster baggy. anyway, he started at one end of the gym, to get a running start, and went for it.. but his baggy ass sweats, got caught on the badminton pole! so he got stuck, upside down, and kinda hung there for a bit, before falling on his head. oh. my. god. it was so awesome. his dick must've hurt so bad ahahahha.. HOWEVER, if he wasn't wearing those sweats, he would've totally cleared it.. no question. i'll give him that.

6. "yo! what class you got!?" arvin was asking one of us what class we had, it absolutely was not marti, cuz marti had the same class as arvin.. so obviously arvin knew that marti had the same class.. but marti turned around, gave the gun point and wink and said "dental." and we started dyinggg.. ahahhaha what the hell marti?! not you.. !! i know it doesn't sound that funny, but he really thought we were talking to him, and that he was soo cool ahhahaha. oh lawd.. okay that's my last marti story, i swear.

7. FAVORITE MOVIES
CITY OF GOD. fuck all other movies.. okay. not really, but city of god is definitely number one. this movie is fucking amazing.. and i could watch it every day for the rest of my life. city of god all day! omg. i wanna watch it right now! funny thing is, i don't even own this movie.. i bought it twice and it got stolen twice. fuckin a.

8. the wackness. this movie isn't even that good ahahha. like the acting is mediocre, the story line is alright.. but damn. if ever i had a summer like this, i could die happy.. which might seem a little crazy to the people who've seen it.. but this was the best era for hip hop!! plus josh peck is so fucking hot in it..

9. the aviator..!! another movie i could watch forever. i love leonardo di caprio, whenever i think of him i think "fucking pansy".. but he really isn't.. like in the aviator, he's fucking boss.. and catch me if you can is wicked too.. and the departed.. okay. let's move on.

10. casino. FUCKING GANGSTER ASS MOVIE.

11. requiem for a dream. THE CINEMATOGRAPHY IN THIS MOVIE IS THE BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY OF ALL TIME. quote me on that shit. plus when that symphony goes off.. my heart stops and all i can think is "holy shit.. this is too crazy."

12. raging bull. nuff sed.

13. king of new york. OKAY YO! that subway scene, when walken whips out that fucking stack.. THAT SHIT IS TOO FUCKING GANGSTER.. when i first saw this scene, my jaw dropped. then when i got it on dvd, i fucking re-winded it and watched it over and over again like five times.. THAT SHIT IS TOO FUCKING BOSS~! omg. i need to watch it right now.

14. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. HELLLLLLOOOOO.. so fucking perfect. it's to die for! kate winslet is really a doll isn't she?! this movie was constructed so beautifully and made so simply.. yet it turned out so complex and makes your mind wander and has you thinking "how did they do that?!".. and at the same time, the story line really hits you hard.

15. belly. cause the acting sucks, but my boyfriend's in it! plus it's a smart movie, with quotes that are forever remembered, and inspiring.. even though the acting's wack lol.

16. the science of sleep. this movie + head bust = ill na na.

17. blow. because if blow wasn't in here, what kind of a person would i be?!

18. scarface, because i just have to.

19. GUILTY PLEASURES
SMOKING. i know. it's fucking horrible.. but i fucking love it. it feels good. i'm not really into sweets and shit.. like.. i love ice cream, and cake and cookies.. but i can't eat them if they're too sweet. i eat chocolate like once every two months. i like really light pastries.. but smoking is definitely my number one guilty pleasure.. for suuure.

20. BEER. i fucking love beer. all the fucking time. well not all the time.. but i love a nice cold beer at the end of the day.. and it just makes me fat, so i feel horrible drinking it, but i'm like "ugh.. gimmie more..!!" haha. beer beer beer!

21. PHOBIAS
dolls. as pansy as that sounds, if you leave me alone in a room with a doll, i will cry. i might even cry if you're in the room with me. i can't fucking stand them. it relates to when i was a kid.. i'll fill you in more if you want, i'll do a post about the trauma later.. but yeah.. i can't stand them. even typing this, is kind of hard for me. i like literally just looked over my shoulder cause i thought i saw something ahah. i know. it's fucking ridiculous.. but i seriously can't deal.. and if any fucker, decides that they think this is fucking funny, and you fuck with me!! i swear i will beat your ass down. don't. fucking. don't.

22. BUGS. i hate bugs. can't stand them. whenever i see one in my crib, i cover it with a glass, raid it, and wait for someone to handle it. cause.. ack. i don't like them.

23. FAVORITE ACTORS
i LOVE nicholas cage.. love him. his cool movies though, like.. matchstick men. not his pansy movies. love christopher walken too.. he's a fucking boss everywhere. robert de niro is the fucking man.. leonardo di caprio.. brad pitt..george clooney.. i could go on forever. i decided not to do actresses cuz i dont really watch girls.. im into boy movies?!

24. FAVORITE ATHLETES
(this isnt in order) carmelo, kobe, michael jordan, tom brady, larry bird, reggie jackson, derek jeter, luongo (i know, relax, he holds it down though).. BO JACKSON! holy. bo jackson too crazyyyyyy.. i love watching bo jackson from back in the day. nystrom & iginla:) i'd think of more but my mind is tired so i'll try and do a better post on this in the near future/. i might have to do a full 25 on this one ay?! i'll see what i can do..

25. FAVORITE SPORTS TEAMS
long live.. THE CALGARY FLAMES.
okay. and the bombers, ahahahah.. seriously though, fuck you, bombers all day. if toronto can like the raptors, i can like the bombers.. i might have to do a full 25 on this one too.. agh life!!

hahaha.. so fuck !! i obviously wasn't able to get all of the suggestions in.. so throw me more ideas, and i'll get them all in this weekend if my computer complies with me.. i might also re-do some of the ones where i can actually come up with 25. we'll see what'll work out. my internet is such a fucking bust lately!! this entry done took me two hours, which i'm pretty proud of. almost record-breaking folks! almost record-breaking!! i'm totally supposed to be rocking out at the pete rock show tonight.. but stupid rock the bells doesn't go down half the time. "guerilla union needs to re-think some things".. fucking true say. so now i'm stuck at the pad .. nothing's going down tonight as far as i know. my boyfriend went to pickering for the night so i guess it's just me and lize.. and some beer.. not that it's anything to complain about. i'm just fine staying in.. as long as i have my burr. cheers..!
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

ITS A BAD WEEK FOR BLOGGIN I RECKON..

oh. my. goodness. i am. so. mother fucking. tired. right now.. i totally should be calling bonibelle, but i realized i said i would write an entry by tonight so here i am! look at that people, dedication. MOTHER FUCKING DEDICATION. i wrote that two nights ago, but due to my lack of fucking internet, i'm only able to post it now.. i know right! thank goodness for the automatic saving of drafts.. it wouldn't have been very much fun to re-type this thing out five billion times.. but it's here now! finally!i figure these don't need as much descriptions as my other 25s, because they're visual~! i wanna say thanks for all input in helping me think of 25s, you have no idea how much that shit helped.. bitches!! i'll try and take all ideas i've been given and make a post with them.. it's been hard to blog when you don't have the internet.. ANYWAY!! i thought i'd show you some things that inspire/amuse/humour me.. aka, 25 youtube vids. holler to lize for the idea. esco, let's go.

25 VIEWS!

25. my moms is down with the OPP.



24. "the people who don't feel this way.. they're robots!!" hahahahaha. i dunno about you, but the first time i watched this, i was blazed, and laughed for days. i just watched it again and it still makes me laugh! the ending is kind of lame, but everything between that is top notch.



23. possibly my favorite spoken word. i can only hope to reach this level one day. shihan could get it. this is honestly wifey material. "& i want a love that makes me regret how small my hands are, i mean, the lines on my palms don't give me enough time to love you as long as i'd like to-type-love.." ABSOLUTELY FUCKING AMAZING.



22. because the "fuck yeah bitch" made this video. my friends are great.



21. if you didn't know by now, i done known this girl since i was 13, we're pretty righteous.. and we take requests. if there's anything you'd like to see us perform, please holla, and i promise you we can arrange something.



20. one year ago, we stepped into the illest spot in the city. the hip hop was perfection, the crowd was chill, the staff was friendly and accommodating, and the drinks were non-stop. i hope i get this again one day.



19. YES!!!!!!



18. i LOVE ill doc!! he is the fucking man. i follow his vids religiously.. and i've seen all of them like 500 times each. this is my favorite by him. he's too fucking awesome.



17. hotbox, and this video.



16. if EVER, EVER i'm having a bad day, play this video for me.



15. this is literally one of the only lisa nova videos i truly dig. but i fucking love this vid.. she did it so well. "whos the lucky guy that gets to make out with this?!" hahaha fuck! i need this woman as my friend!



14. pork chop sandwiches !! oh shit.. get the fuck outta here, you stupid idiot! hahahahha. GI JOOOOOOOOOEEEEE.. you try and tell me you didn't laugh til your guts felt like they were gonna fall out your butt.



13. because keys n krates is possibly one of the sickest shows i have ever seen.. and because i'm so drunk in this video.. and because bianca is so down.. and because matisse is so chill.. and because this was one of the greatest nights, in life.



12. when i saw this video, i'm pretty sure i was like "FUCK YEAH." and everyone in the room just looked at me like i was crazy. obama is the man. no question.



11. this girl is hilarious, and deserves as much youtube fame as possible. subscribe her ass, she's the fucking best.



10. OH RICHARD. this video deserves 5 billion views. lol.. gotta love the berry!! i will NEVER get tired of this video.. lol.. WHY RICHARD WHY!?



9. fuck facebook.



8. !!!



7. so hot.. so. fucking. hot. i love bitches. bitches all day..!!
girl could get it too. fucking a.



6. if you watched this, tell me you did not fall in love with girl. someone commented on this vid and it said "she must give the best blow jobs." hahahaha. had me dying. she's fucking mint though.



5. anyone remember this guy from dr.jays?! hahaha.. back when dr jays was cool okay.. i am totally aware of how homo dr. jays is.. but i clearly remember maribeth and i making fun of this dude on dr jays.. he was too matchy.. but apparently now, he's getting all this hype on how dope his style is.. it's kinda hype beast, BUT i watched his videos, and some times dude can be a comedian. this vid made it onto the 25's because of "wanna come chill at my pad?! is that funny?! thanks." ahhaha



4. "the next day my alarm goes off and i.."



3. did you see that gangster throw a napkin?! lol chill out dude, you're not that fucking cool.



2. possibly one of the coolest things ever !! i almost wanted to cry at the end of it because of its awesomeness.



1. because they did such a crazy job!!!!!


well today was awkward..!! certainly wasn't expecting that! but ima keep dancing cuz life is grand! tip-top-sugar-plums-rainbows-butterflies-glitter-sparkles-unicorns and a smile for the morning!! 1!
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

NOW GET UP OFF YOUR ASS LIKE YOUR SEAT'S HOT

WOW. it's been a minute. my computer is nearly shot to pieces. yo. waddup god. broken camera then broken computer?! chill son! i done been e-mailing and shit through my berry, please don't die on me berry..!! you're one of my last hopes for internet AND taking pictures lol.. anyway, my internet connection seems to be doing alright for a minute.. so i gotta hit you with a 25. on one of julius posts, he was gone for four days and stated that it was forever in the blogging world, i couldn't agree more. that is a minute.
i'm really having trouble coming up with these last few 25's. luckily i received an e-mail today that held a little break.. THANK GOODNESS FOR EMAILS..you remember the game, "would you rather"?!

25 "UHHHHH"'s

1. Would you rather be the most popular girl or boy in school for 5 whole years or have the greatest friends ever?
have the greatest friends ever. BY FAR. fuck being popular, it's a shit hole. people talk shit about you, they're either intimidated by you or think you're an asshole.. that's not a good example because i really am an asshole. but shit son! why would i want to be popular with shit friends?! ew.

2. Would you rather have super powers or have Christmas never end?
uhhhhh.. WOW. okay. i love christmas!.. but i'm not sure i could handle it every day for the rest of my life. i'm gonna go ahead and say super powers. wouldn't super powers entail me with the power to make christmas 2-3-4, days if i wanted !? hello. loop holes people, loop holes.

3. Would you rather drink 1 gallon of ketchup or 1 gallon of mustard?
EW. mother fucking cock bitch slut! i guess one gallon of ketchup. both would make me vomit perfusely, but i think mustard is too.. sour? yeah. ew. 1 gallon is so much! you asshole.

4. Would you rather be prom queen of your high school or have a super cool and good looking boyfriend?
super cool and good looking boyfriend. ahhaha. i told you, fuck popularity. i want the good shit. who doesn't want a super cool good looking somebody?! and can i just say "super cool" had me dying for days, i totally pictured a dude tilting his shades down and giving the wink.


5. Would you rather have 500 tarantualas crawling in your house or 1000 crickets jumping around your room?
WHAT?! why?! why.. i HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTEEEEEE bugs. this took me awhile, at first i said the tarantulas because fack! 1000 crickets are so hard to catch. BUT.. now i realize, if all the crickets are only in my room, they'd probably be hella easier to terminate. open a window, hold some cricket bait outside said window.. and the problem should be taken care of. what is cricket bait?! i dunno. hey roger, what's your answer?! :)

6. Would you rather have a third leg or a third arm?
lol. how the fuck did you come up with this survey.. if i was a dude, i totally would have responded with "i already have a third leg ;)" o0oo0ooo smooth. i'm gonna say a third arm, just cause i think that would be easier to hide under clothing.. unless it's like on my chest or something, *cries. and it wouldn't be there for long.. extreme makeover me, PUHLEASE.

7. Would you rather meet the Jonas Brothers or meet Miley Cyrus?
LMFAO. i could give a fuck about either.. but i'm going to say the jonas brothers, i believe they have more fans.. i'd take pictures of them, and sell their autographs for billions >=).. and i'm sure tons of dummy girls would wanna hug me if i hugged a jonas brother.. $20 a pop!!

8. Would you rather eat 25 hot dogs or jump off a 50 ft high tree?
oh cmon. HOT DOGS SON. no question! hot dogs every day! i don't want a broken leg first of all, and eating hot dogs is like chillin in miami.. bitch.

9. Would you rather travel back in time to the year 500 B.C or meet the queen of Eygpt?
toughy. is the queen of egypt a bitch?! cuz i wouldn't wanna turn out to be no slave or none.. or she might get my head chopped off.. but i'm not really sure what's in 500 b.c.. fuck. this one's a doozy. i'm gonna say meet the queen of egypt, because hopefully she gets a sense of my awesome-ness and makes me.. co-queen. then ill just be blingin, rollin on chromed out camels and shit. SO HIGH UP I GOT BIRDS IN THE PYRAMID..

10. Would you rather be known as the school's "Bad bully who loves Dora the Explorer" or be known as in school "The nerdy freak"?
lol, bad bully.. because i'm only making dora look gangster. soon everybody will be wanting to be boss with dora back packs and shit.. and fuck you man! dora's cool.. EXCEPT FOR HER RECENT MAKE OVER:( BRING BACK THE OLD DORA!

11. Would you rather be chased by 10 vicious Rottweilers or 5 vicious German Sheperds?
german sheperds, no questions. rottweilers are too fucking crazy man. they'll tear you to shreds. the sheperds don't move as sparatic and i think i'd be able to put up a good fight towards them over the rottis. a few punches to the fucking snout and you done son! (i love dogs. lol)

12. Would you rather ride in a car going 90 mph and ride off a 30 ft clift or ride in a car going 30 mph and ride off a 100 ft clift?
slow. i think i'd have more of a chance. but i would DEF be wearing that seatbelt.

13. Would you rather eat 5 rotten cheese slices or lick a dirty toilet?
if you've seen my rants, you know the answer.

14. Would you rather be king/or queen of the universe for one year or get what you want for one year?
HELLLLOOOO!! im already queen of the universe. what i want for one year!! nikes! albums! vinyls! turntables! redbull! cigarettes! vacations! abs! hahahaha./ dude life will be so ballin when this actually happens.. yeah.

15. Would you rather eat scrambled eggs raw or eat cold ice fish raw?
scrambled eggs. eggs don't have guts.

16. Would you rather win 1 million dollars on Deal or No Deal or win 1 million dollars on Don't Forget The Lyrics?
DEAL OR NO DEAL. i can't sing for shit.. and i'm not about to let the world know.

17. Would you rather work at Disney Corporation or work at Nickelodeon Corporation?
if it was like the 90's, i'd say disney.. but disney done fell off with their gay ass family shows.. that i still watch cuz im lame.. BUT BRING BACK THE CARTOONS! since they fell off, ima say nick.. and the first thing im going to do for yall, is bring back rugrats.. YOU DUNN EVEN KNOW ABOUT RUGRATS.

18. Would you rather have a 100+ friends who are OK or have 3 great friends that are great?
3 great friends. what good is a friend if they're only half in it?!

19. Would you rather live as a dog or live as a cat?
i like dogs more than cats, but i think i'd rather be a cat.. just because i think it'd be easier to live on the street. i can climb anything, i have nine lives (haha), i'm flexible as shit, and i can sneak in to fast food garbage cans and eat me some mcdonalds! if i was a house pet though, i'd rather be a dog. dogs have way more fun.

20. Would you rather do the macarina in front of everybody on a table or dress up as a chicken and dance like a freak in front of everybody?
lol you had to add, "like a freak"?! lol.. the macarina.. that's more my steez.. like i'm pretty sure i've probably already done it. like at least if they see that, people will just be like, "damn, botch so crazy".. but me in a chicken suit?! people will be like "damn. botch is crazy.". you dig.

21. Would you rather kiss (on the cheek) Zac Efron or Corbin Bleu?
i don't know who corbin bleu is, so i'm going to google him right now. *google moment later* okay, so my internet connection is being wack again.. so i'm just going to say zac efron in case corbin bleu is a total twat.

22. Would you rather go to a wild concert or a relaxing and joyful spa?
CONCERT. no question.

23. Would you rather meet My Chemical Romance or Fall Out Boy?
fall out boy.. i like my chemical romance, they're alright, but i like fall out boy just a TAD bit more.. only because of panic! at the disco. love love love panic! at the disco.

24. Would you rather date an athletic person or an emo person?
athletic. who WOULD rather date an emo?! what kind of shit is that?!

25. Would you rather own a car company or own a toy factory?
TOYS BY FAR! get rich off of fun?! sweet deals. plus with a toy factory, i wouldn't have to dress all businessy.. i could walk in with nikes and sweats on and no one would give a fuck. it's toys! actually wait. which would be harder to run?! well i guess if i own it, i'll have people under me doing most of the job. nevermind, sticking with toy factory.

i forgot to mention if you have any ideas for any 25s, comment them. or yo, syntifik@hotmail.com .. either or! i just got an idea for a 25 from my cousin, so i'll do that one either later on tonight or tomorrow.. depending on the status of my computer. ALSO as for stickers, i won't be getting any til after christmas. i know, it sucks. but i promise to give away some (KEY WORD: SOME! im no ghandi people) freebies. AND i'll make a new design. so hold on to your gitch son there's only so much this lady can do !


alife x tims .. hello fall, you never looked so fucking good.

big up to the haters, BITCH ADMIT YOU NAMELESS. so by me addressing you, i'm really making you famous! like pun said, "YOU AINT EVEN IN MI CLASSA!".. haters, non-haters, fans, fuck it. love yall. 1!
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

THIS THE ONLY LIFE I KNOW..

i don't think you guys get just how tough this 25 series really is. it's like fucking homework. blogs are cool as shit, but when i threw myself into the 25 series, i never got how difficult it might get. i was kinda just like "yeah lets fuckin do a 25, why the fuck not?!" but uhhhh it's been pretty difficult. that's the reason i haven't been up to par in the blogging tip. blogs should be consistent, they should be frequent..they should represent the writer, and should intrigue the viewers. so i really hope that my 25 series lives up to its intention.. apologies if some were shitty.. i hotboxed my bathroom so my mind is right, and i'm about to hit you.. with my next 25. i'm kind of a pack rat, and i'm trying to change that. i fucking keep everything! i'm talking EVERYTHING. i have this drawer on my desk, that's filled with the most random shit. i call it my memory drawer. inside i keep every invitation to every party, every letter, every single thing.. possible. i even have this chocolate kiss in there, that i got from this dude in like grade 7. he was an amazing ball player, and i was just yelling shit like "YOU'RE SO HOT! HANDLES FOR DAYS!".. ball handles, get ur mind right. anyway it's like really?! we saw each other one day at a basketball tournament, and i really gotta keep this chocolate?! lol.. well this month, i'm going to try and clean up my life. it's hard for me to throw shit away, but i've recently realized i tend to look at this shit like maybe once or twice a year, be like "aww" then i move on.. and to show you how much of a fucking pack rat i am, i thought i'd give you a little looksies.

25 VIEWS!

1. this is my bag/purse. i hate the word purse. it sounds too feminine.. so yo, this is the bag that holds my shit! haha. i done been using it for quite some time now, because it is huge, but it's not huge. it holds enough of my life, without me looking like a hobo. i bought it for $15 at target, and i can say i always switch from my expensive bags back to this bad boy. it gets the job done and it's lasted me a life time.. let's take a look inside shall we..



2. so i bought this like three weeks ago. if yall seen me with red hair this is what i use. i love it cuz you don't have to bleach your hair for it to be vibrant. it's fucking awesooommmeee! i guess i keep it in my bag waiting for an opportunity to dye it cuz im such a slack. any volunteers?! lol



3. i either have like forty billion lighters, or no lighters at all.. and i always have batteries, that are usually dead. my camera's so old it takes double A batteries. ghetto shit.



4. LADIES! i love mac, i love sephora, i love make up. but when times are tough, sometimes you just have to hit up the sale section at shopper's drug mart. this shit was two fucking dollars, TWO DOLLARS! & i LOVE it. it isn't sticky and the shine on it is fucking bomb. a must have, absolutely everywhere. recognize NYC, recognize!



5. receipts receipts receipts. for days. this kinda looks bad because the ones on top are for alcohol. DAMN. ahahaha. get loose off the goose.



6. obviously, i'm fucking flossin. ya dunnn evenn know. i make it rain.. and with all this change, it kinda hurts to be so rich. (get it?!) val gave me that pin right before i left for toronto, so it's special. unfortunately, after some aggressive rollerblading and backpack bumping, the pin part broke off and it's basically just a button. i still love it to shit, and keep it so someone will one day fix it for me?!



7. in class one day, ryan dug through this plastic container filled with felt letters while we were supposed to be learning. at the end of class, he passed me the letters to spell "botch". i always take them out and carry them with me, i don't know what i'm going to end up using them for.. especially since i've lost the "c".. but i've had this shit around with me for almost two years now, so i'd like to say i did pretty good.



8. yup. that's my bikini, because it is SO MOTHER FUCKING HOT, that i'm pretty much prepared every day. which has been pretty fair. how many times we been at the beach this month?! too many to counttt!!



9. a cd made my lem!! if i could have something from everybody.. i'd pick to either look through their wallet, or get a cd made by them.. i LOVE when people make me cds, it's good times.. and the magnum sharpie which is so mother fucking hard to find these days!! wtf?! when my previous one ran out, i spent three months without one til i found this bad boy.



10. i got a feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night. ahahha. i'm not an alcoholic, i swear.



11. this ladies and germs, is the monthly cost for my doggie's medicine. get better baby:(



12. this bad boy holds all my small shit. loose change, lip gloss, allllahh that shit. goes in here. i keep it in here to make me feel like my bag's more organized, even though it isn't.



13. gotta love getting visa statements.



14. i'm kind of obsessed with brushing my teeth. not like hour long sessions, sometimes i just like to get a 3 second scrub between meals. i'm a smoker, and my mouth gets dry as fuck, toothpaste does wonders.. hand sanitizer too.. cause after seeing disgusting bathrooms and how dirty people are, you kinda get ocd.



15. my id, my boyfriends id, my mom's id, some random people's id ahahha, just kidding. but forreal if i stacked up all my plastic on top of each other, it's like half the height of a shoe box, which is a lot. *gag.



16. bath & body works all day!! LOVE their lotion. plus those tiny beads in there, yooo it's two for one! & water is the bomb any time of the day.. and yes.. ALL OF THIS WAS IN MY BAG.



17. my wifey, the blackberry. at the moment i was talking to mister jason au himself! check out his blog, there's a link on the side.. or you can just stay here, the choice is yours:) hahahah



18. so the only book i've ever read by chuck palahniuk was fight club. when i first started dating my boyfriend in february, he took me to chapters on richmond, and told me all about palahniuk. he was one of his favorite authors. so i copped his favorite book, rant.. then i copped choke.. and currently starting this bad boy.. and it's safe to say i'm officially obsessed. killlllerrr author!! (next to andrew and sheldon!!)



19. the only thing that keeps me completely sane when i can't have a cigarette is gum.



20. THE SMELL OF GUNSMOKE'S MORE COMMON THAN CIGARETTES. love/hate relationship, but that's a thug's nature. i love you belmonts, you fucking assholes. oh and that mint is from some chinese spot i ate at ages ago, i always fight because i want all the mints.. and then i never eat them.



21. every day shit. life's ESSENTIALS. okay okay!.. and more fucking mints ahahhah



22. see what i mean?! fucking pack rat! i keep all transfers, ticket stubs, parking tickets, EV-ERY-THING. oh and those are my winning lottery tickets. i haven't checked them yet, but i'm pretty sure they're winners, cause that's basically my destiny.. plus i switched my motto, instead of saying fuck tomorrow..



23. yeah i'm kind of a ditz, in the sense that i never remember anything.. even when it comes to blogging. so i write shit down, i have this mini-notepad that i write in all ideas in.. then i blog about them later. one day, i will sell it for trillions.



24. my cell phone bill when i limited myself to very few long distance calls. NOT TOO SHABBY i'd like to say:)



25. CURRENTLY IN ROTATION. jaylibbbbb the beastie boys and some fucking keith murray. ya dunn even know right now! i don't own an ipod, and i refuse to completely fall into the complete technological side of things. i enjoy cds, and i won't stop buying them. i love opening them, i love the art the musician chooses for the inside covers, i enjoy seeing who produced what, i LOVE hard copies. i NEED hard copies.. it's just more shit to stack up in my crib!! and most importantly, i like supporting who i enjoy. they run my life. music runs my life. music is life.. and so is blogging. thanks for taking a glimpse through life in a quick two minute period! what up, thanks for being a part of it. soon we'll be causing a complete fuckery on the world, and you my friend, for reading this, are officially a part of it. history in the fucking making!

i miss bianca. that is all.
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

HOLY. SHIT.

FUCK. IT'S FUCKING HOT!

HOOOOOOOLLLLYYYY FUUUCCCKKK. hose me down bitches, hose me down. i am sweating like a mother fucker. tomorrow it's going to be +33C, BUT.. with the humidity, it will be +40C. yes you read right. fucking forty degrees. crazy hot. crazy fucking hot. *dies. i totally have SO much shit to do, and blogging isn't on the list.. but i'm about to do it cause shit.. it's a nice way of avoiding what i actually have to do. if i don't get a load of laundry in tonight i am so gonna hate myself tomorrow. i decided to hit yall with another 25 of things that annoy me.. i'm about to start with only like four in my head right now, so we'll see how this goes.

25 (MORE) THINGS THAT ANNOY ME

1. SLOW JAM DRIVING
this goes out to the dudes that are blaring slow jams in their rides. yo azns. music is music, you like what you like.. BUT HONESTLY. SLOW JAMS..?! especially if you have a crazy system going on, your subs are blaring usher into my fucking area like you'se ill na na. NO BITCH NO, i do not think you're cute. i do not think you're sensitive.. or sexy. i think you're kinda really extraordinarily lame.

2. SANDOS
*shudder. hahaha. FUCKING SANDOS MAN! i only thought of sandos because of the slow jam thing. it was because of this dude, he was blasting some fucking 112 or something homo like that, and he comes out in his beater, we make eye contact, and he puts his uber ultra homo shades down like he's the coolest dude on the block. please son. you're skinny, you have no muscles, that beater makes you look like you're anorexic, and your slow jams are interfering with my cudi.

3. YO KANYE WHATS THE WORD?!
yo kanye.. STOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. what is a blog?! blog is short for the term "web log".. meaning, an online journal. a place where viewers if interested, can view the lifestyle and opinions of a person. i fucking hate people who take things off of kanye's blog. and that's almost every blog in the world. i've been to kanye's blog i think twice in my entire life.. and i think the reason for this is because i don't need to go to kanye's blog, his blog is every other person's blog. let's just go ahead and say stealing things from other people's blogs is lame. it makes you look un-interesting, and it makes me think that you have nothing to say for yourself. i'm at your blog for one reason, to see what you think. not to see what kanye thinks. i could give a fuck what kanye thinks, i could give a fuck what drake thinks, i'll check their blogs if i want to.. for now keep the blogging to YOU.

4. DRAKE HOPPAHS!
drake's fucking cool, i like him. i think he's interesting, and he's a good listen.. but if i get asked "have you heard of drake?!" one more fucking time, you will feel my knuckles to your jaw son.

5. YOUR NOT SUPPOSED TOO TURN THEIR!
okay. i'm no grammatical genius. i have errors like crazy, and i know that too. mistakes happen, let's just try not to repeat them.. cause when i see the same thing over and over again.. my mind wants to bleed. "their", "your" = possession. "too" = also. "they're" = they are. "there" = location. if you need help, email me. i have a dude on my messaging list who has his name as "FINALE GOT A BLACKBERRIE!!" um dude. how the fuck are you gonna spell blackberry wrong?! it's written on your fucking phone!

6. HOLDSKIES.
i'd like to think that gestures shouldn't be selfish. but fuck it. i'm selfish. so it'd be nice to hold the door for someone, and get a fucking thank you. i am not the door man, i did not HAVE to hold the door for you, i'm not asking for a tip, or a nice dinner later, just a "thank you" would be appreciated.

7. GROCERY COURTESY
you're at safeway, grabbin your goods, and someone has their cart parked in the middle of the aisle, and they're taking their sweet ass time looking at whatever the fuck their looking at. "oooh if we buy two of these, we save forty cents.. but really i like the other one!!" UHM HELLO. and then when i say "excuse me" these cats look at me like i'm an asshole. i refuse to turn around and go all the way to the end of the aisle just so i can move from aisle one, to aisle two, to grab my fucking cereal. i'd like to just squeeze by please. please?

8. CHOMMMPPCHOMPPP
people who chew with their mouth open. i can not believe i forgot this one on my first list. THIS ANNOYS ME TO SHIT. you sound like a fucking cow! there's no rush here. this is how eating works, we'll use a two person date for an example. john and jane are on a date. john is talking, while john is talking, jane can be eating, and LISTENING. jane's turn. jane makes a response, while john takes a bite. it works full circle! the sound of food and spit whirling around while i'm trying to enlighten you with awesomeness doesn't sit well at our mcdonald's table okay son! close your mouth for a second.

9. NAIL-CLIPPING
the sound of nail-clipping just sounds gross to me. it just sounds gross. i don't know if this is just me, but i'd prefer if no one did this in front of me. behind bathroom doors!

10. SPEAKING OF BATHROOOOOMS
flush the toilet. this goes for everybody, i didn't know people shit on toilet seats at home.. cause that's what i see in public bathrooms. i didn't know it was that hard, to sit, do yo thing, and flush. i refuse to touch public toilet seats, they're nasty. especially after seeing tampons and shit smeared across toilet seats. yup, it aint pretty. so next time you think about being a fucking asshole in the bathroom, think about how it feels to see that when you really gotta take a piss. it hurts the heart, really it does.

11. MICROWAVES
no i love microwaves. i just hate waiting. oh 10 seconds left! and i count with my microwave, like that makes it go faster.. and i'll open it right at one second, thinking oh it's pretty much finished.. but i still gotta pop it back in for like another minute.. and i waisted like a minute by now, which could have been a minute of my food heating.. but nope. still frozen. i fail hahahha.

12. MOSQUITOES
you fucking assholes.

13. TATTOOS IN LANGUAGES THE OWNER DOESNT SPEAK
tattoos are art.. they are placed on your body, because you want that artwork, to be a part of you. i get that, that's cool. if you really fall into a culture, that's cool.. but if you're trying to look bad ass by getting a chinese tattoo, when you're not chinese, it looks lame, and screams typical.. and i don't even wanna ask you what it means cause i don't caaare.

14. THE WAR AGAINST MARIJUANA
weed makes up 90% of the illegal drug trade in the world.. in america, 25 million americans smoke weed regularly without causing harm to society. that is fact. marijuana has been proven to be less dangerous than tobacco, AND alcohol, and is STILL illegal. fuck the system.

15. YOU'RE TOO MUCH
i'm all for opinion. i'm mouthy as fuck, and i love word.. i stand up for what i believe in, and i voice what i think loud.. but i try to never put what i think on someone else. if you believe in homo-sexuality, cool. if you're a christian, cool. that's YOU. i don't care what other people believe in, as long as they don't force it on to others.. and don't say someone else is wrong for a BELIEF. no, they are not WRONG, they just believe in something DIFFERENT. (this is contradicting in the sense that someone can totally say, "well i BELIEVE you're WRONG in saying that what you BELIEVE in, is right!", ok shut up, i found the loop hole in this. suck my dick. you know whaat i meannn)

16. PRISSY NON-SMOKERS
LOOK. you already took away our smoking indoors, we put up with fucking smoking in blizzards to protect all your asses. so please don't give me the fucking eye if my smoke goes in your face while we're outside. i did not mean for my smoke to go near you. i am a person, and i smoke, there is wind, and not a lot i can do. if that bothers you, i suggest YOU move, cause we've already given up a lot to make your pansy ass happy.

17. "YOU'RE DISGUSTING."
this coincides with number 16. non-smokers who think that smoking is disgusting. FUCK YOU okay. you think you're better than me because you don't smoke?! no. this is the worst from ex-smokers and fat people. ex-smokers because they think because they quit smoking, they're some ill na na.. and i don't know why fat people tend to rag on me for smoking, but it's fucking frequent. maybe it's to make them feel better about being fat. "I HOPE YOU DONT GET CANCER!!", uhhh.. why dont you run on a treadmill you fat fuck!? oh wait! smokers are thinner than non-smokers who have the same calorie intake, i get it.. you jealous! lol. our blood pressure is also lower! suck on that! every time someone says something about smoking, i really want to punch them in the face. i am quite aware of my habit thanks, i don't need your "holier than thou" attitude to accompany me, i'm a smoker, i'm cooler than you.

18. HONKING IN A TRAFFIC JAM
i can understand honking when someone doesn't notice the light is green. that's what a horn is for, to get attention.. but when you're not going anywhere, and you're honking.. it's not doing anything bud. it's really not. it's just making everyone else feel lousy and irritated. your horn will not make the cars magically disappear. nope. you're stuck. so chill son. throw on some radio and breathe. turn your wipers on and off if you really need to touch something.

19. CARDBOARD TAMPONS
i don't know why these are still being made.. but they are basically a torture device.

20. BUS-WAITING
when you're waiting for a bus and someone asks, "did the bus come yet?!" um. WHY THE FUCK WOULD I STILL BE STANDING THERE?! yes it did. i just come here to watch all the pretty buses go by. oh look, there goes another! so pretty.

21. NO INTROS
when you're with somebody, and they see their friend, and they start talking to them without introducing you. oh. okay. yeah. it's cool. i'll just chill here. you guys need anything or?! .. no no! don't let me interrupt, i'll just go chill by that lamp post, and yall can holler if you need me.

22. THE REALLY LOUD SONG ON YOUR IPOD
i don't own an ipod, i use my berry.. and i don't know why but i'll be chillin listening to some good hip hop then all of a sudden my head explodes cuz one single song is ten billion volume notches higher than all my other songs.. :(

23. GROUPS IN ENTRANCES
*sigh. i wanna get by! cant your conversation between forty billion people be moved just a tad to the side?! this is the WORST at the movie theater. for some reason, people always wanna stand and talk about shit in front of the fucking bathroom. I NEED TO FUCKING PEE BITCHES! can i also add in people who ask me "what's going on!?" during a movie. i'm watching the same movie as you kid, i know the same info as you. maybe it's time you go to the bathroom.

24. "OVERKILL"
when girls dress up in bar clothes to go somewhere where bar attire is not needed. bling and booty shorts to the fucking mall?! forreal dude?! a dress and fake tan for a hip hop show!? go home and change

25. THAT IM ONLY ON NUMBER 16..
and i still got 9 more to go before my 25 series is complete.. oh boy.



side rant: i aim to be the best person i can possibly be. please don't drag me down.

side rant part two:

that's the "new" dora the explorer.. WHYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

ABOUT TO CAUSE MASS HYSTERIA..

so if you don't know by now, i'm about to tell you. the greatest rapper EVER, of all time, is nas. he is the sickest rapper in the game, and will forever be the sickest rapper, of all time. quote me on that shit. if you don't agree, you must not know anything about hip hop.. but if ever you wanted proof, i fucking got you son.. my favorite nas quotes (in random order)?! esco, let's go.

25 NAS LINES

1. "I switched my motto/ instead of saying 'fuck tomorrow'/ that buck that bought a bottle coulda struck the lotto/"
every time my mom asks me why i love nas so much, i say this line. we've been there. fucking harsh times, we been there.. but my mind just goes crazy on this shit. what if i took every penny wasted on a random drink here and there, a chocolate bar.. whatever. what if the next lottery ticket in line, could've been purchased by me, and was a winner?! YOU NEVER KNOW what life may give you.. keep positive.

2. "how much of biggies rhymes is gonna come out your fat lips?/ wanted to be on every last one of my classics/"
jay-z diss, let's face it. you so got owned son.

3. "put it together, i rock hoes/ yall rock fellas (roc-a-fella)/"
still cause ether goes SO HARD! this is my favorite line in ether, just cause if i had a label called roc a fella, and i heard this, i'd wanna change the name quick fast.. but like.. you can't change the name cause then you look like a little bitch who got sonned by nas, but if you keep it, do you really roc fellas?! HAHA. so good. so. fucking. good.

4. "i never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death"
NAS YOU IS CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!! when people ask me "why do you sleep so late?!" or "why arent you sleeping!?" you'll hear this come out of my mouth.. i never sleep cause sleep is the cousin of death!!

5. "i need an encore yall, you should welcome me back/ you wanna ball til you fall, i could help you with that"
this was at memphis bleek.. and it cuts you a little doesn't it?! how rap should be.

6. "i told her 'no hell' she talkin' bout 'me kiss' bobbed her head, then spit a nut back in my dick"
this is from a song called "rewind".. and i THINK it's on stillmatic, i can't remember. i love story-telling rap. it's ill. now nas is a GREAT story-teller, and a great lyricist.. but he did both of that BACKWARDS. yes ladies and germs. he rapped this whole song in reverse.. and when i first heard this song, i played it like five times just to take it all in. youtube that shit right now, nas-rewind.

7. "i got so many rhymes, i don't think i'm too sane/ life is parallel to hell, but i must maintain/ and be prosperous/ though we live dangerous, cops could just/ arrest me, blamin us, we're held like hostages/"
dude kicks knoooowledge. how the fuck did he write this on paper?! like really?! you get such a vibe of how shitty things can be, a reality slap in the face but at the same time, you're in "aw" like .. "how the fuck did he come up with that?!"

8. "everybody's a rapper but few flow fatal"
word.

9. "life's a bitch, but god forbid the bitch divorce me/ i'll be flooded with ice so hell fire can't scorch me/"
okay so that first bar wasn't written by nas, but it's relevant for the second bar. the first bar was written by cormega.. but "i'll be flooded with ice so hell fire can't scorch me" is pretty fucking genius if you ask me.

10. "dwellin in the rotten apple, you get tackled/ or caught by the devils lasso, shit is a hassle"
how are you gonna compare hardships to the devils lasso?! that's one of the biggest things i love about nas.. he takes things and words them in a way that amazes you, and even though every word is so profound, it's also put so simply so that image and feeling is embedded in you while the song plays.

11. "zoom.. from outer space he comes/ blunt in his mouth with his hand on his gun/ bitches flappin they gums, do he be clappin and shootin guys/ actor or a movie star, rapper revolutionized"
SMOKIN! biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggg tuuuuuunnnneeee.

12. "what is his race nation or creed?/ is he arabic, black, latin, asian they read/ magazines say i walked on water, talked to the heavens/ spit at judges, stepped on peasants/ but in reality, i just entered your galaxy/ september '73, up in these wild streets"
another snippet from smokin.. smokin goes hard. go ahead and read that twice. read that three times. read that til your brain seeps nas. cuz that shit right there is ill na na. dammit. nas all day!

13. "i watch CBS, and i see B.S."
bias in the media?! nas knows child, nas knows! quirky little fun word play, i'm down.. word life. don't even watch that garbage dude. read the paper.. and only read the facts, cause opinion is fucking everywhere.

14. "it ain't hard to tell/ i excel, then prevail/ the mic is contacted, I attract clientele/ my mic check is life or death, breathin' the sniper's breath/ I exhale the yellow smoke of buddah through righteous steps"
DEEEP like the shining! sparkling like a diamond! sneak an uzi on the island in his army jacket lining! he hits the earth like a comet, invasion! nas is like the afro-centric asian, half man, half amazing!!!!!!!!

15. "the china men built the railroad/ the indians saved the pilgrim/ and in return the pilgrim killed em"
when nas was growing up, he read a lot. he dropped out in junior high, but he read books like no tomorrow.. and a lot were history books, and that shows in his rhymes. aside from stunning you, he'll throw you some education, which in short, basically rules.. for those of you who don't wanna get as literate but still wanna know shit haha.. plus it's in poetry form, and the best kind of poetry.. so it's a win for everybody! lol.

16. "i woke up early on my born day, i'm twenty years of blessing/ the essence of adolescent leaves my body now i'm fresh in/ my physical frame is celebrated cause i made it/ one quarter through life, some god-ly like thing created.."
the day i turned 20, i said this pretty much every half hour. it was my birthday anthem.. and i remember i thought of it at like the age of 16.. "I CANT WAIT TIL I TURN 20 SO I CAN SAY THIS!". it was word though, i did make it to 20, and i felt pretty fucking righteous that day.. and this is one of the greatest hip hop tracks EVER, and as soon as nas spits that first line, ohhh lawwddd i wanna melt.

17. "a thug changes, and love changes, and best friends become strangers."
i fucking hear that. i fucking heeeearrrrr that!

18. "my first album had no famous guest appearances/ the outcome, i'm crowned the best lyricist/"
YUP. how you gonna throw out such a fucking CLASSIC album without anybody famous on it? you can't do that shit now. if you don't have anybody on your album, we're nervous about listening to you.. but nas was so fucking amazing, his album spoke for itself. love you daddy. hahaha

19. "i squeeze nipples like pimples to get the puss, get it/"
this line made me buy street's disciple. not that i wouldn't have.. but like as soon as i heard this line, i missioned my ass downtown and bought it.. i didn't have to hear anything else, i needed that shit right away. lol'ing for days.

20. "some things are forever, some things are not/ it's the things we remember that give the world shock/ they stay in a place in your mind so snug/ like who the person was with whom you first made love/"
grasp memories and hold them tight in your palms! CANT FORGET ABOUT YOOOOUUU.

21. "smokin' so much ly(lie)/ i saw a dead bird flyin' through a broken sky"
nas - let there be light

22. "if the virgin mary had an abortion/ i'd still be carried in a chariot of stampeeding horses/"
if nas believes he is greater than god, nas can.. because he is the man.

23. "my lawyers only see the billboard charts as winning/ forgetting - nas the only true rebel since the beginning/ still in musical prison, in jail for the flow/ try telling bob dylan, bruce, or billy joel/ they can't sing what's in their soul/"
because VOICE is all you have. listen to nas and what he GETS to say. all he wants is the world to hear him.. speak, and speak loud while you can. nas and immortal technique should start their own label and just cause a whole fuckery on the world! haha

24. "i burned so much trees/ i keep environmentalists angry/"
YEAHYEAH ! blaze blaze. how you're gonna play that on to tree-huggers is BEYOND me, and it makes me happy! i love when nas gets comical, shit is good times.

25. "when you're four years into the game, we can have a conversation/ eight years in the game, i invite ya on vacation/ ten years in the game, after i've enjoyed my fame/ only then, i'll let ya pick my brain.."
more from "let there be light" cuz shit.. just don't. it wasnt aimed at soulja boy or none, but ima go ahead and say THATS FOR YOU SOULJA BOY! haha. nas has been in the rap game since TIIIME. i've been listening to nas since time, and i still don't feel like i've taken in everything he's spit.. no matter how many times i've listened. that's word. greatest of all time. period. plus tre williams sings so fucking ill on this song! at the beginning of this song he says "its like your hang gliding over the hood" and trust.. once you hear this song you honestly fucking feel like that. hip hop is dead is soooo under-rated.. feed that shit some love bitches!

NAS > your favorite rapper.

that post only took me two and a half hours.. congrats botch! that's almost a new record..!! on to other random blogging blurbs.. HELLO WEATHER!! hooooly shit. SUMMER IS HERE ! we're looking at NOTHING BUT +30(AND HIGHER!) C for the entire week..! so summer was late this year, i can live with that. i hereby declare that i will be beaching this entire month! fuck yeah son! EVERYBODY COME TO THE BEACH TOMORROW! it'll be 32! im so excited.. i can barely keep my pants on.. literally. wahhhwahhh! you know why?!
IM ROCKING VANS, IM IN THE SAND, I GOT A REDBULL AND VODKA UP IN MY HAAANDDDD.. you know why?! cuzzz im in miaaammmiiii biiiitttccchhhh!! drink all day.. play all nighttt..
so that axe shower gel commercial is some hot shit.. like wow. how do you not wanna dangiddy dangiddy after that commercial?!
let's get a weekend re-cap in. friday.. i honestly can't remember what i did. ahah.. i think it involved beer though.. yeah i really cant remember. saturday though. ohhh laawwddd.. went to alive.. got smashed !! all on a 5 dollar budget. and got smassshheeddd.. which means i really dont remember anything.. I DO REMEMBER, leaving alive for a different location (which for now will not be named cuz i totally was not supposed to be theerrreee) and we totally talked our way into getting in for free. which was awesome./ danced my ass off.. i remember seeing a few people and telling them they had ugly shirts on.. and i remember yelling at the bartender "SLLLLLLLOOOOWWW !! WHY ARE YOU SERVING SO SLOOOWWW.. slooooooowww!!" hahahaha. i also remember asking dj to play nas, and being really disappointed when "if i ruled the world" came on. not that i dont love song, it's just that's the only nas song every dj always plays. im gonna start asking for halftime every time i ask for nas now. not only that but there was a lot of reggaeton.. not for me, thanks. hahah i was really fucking drunk.. BUT VERY WELL BEHAVED. i would just like to pat myself on the back for that.. *pat pat*. honestly, i like avoided all trouble-some situations.. cause me 6 months ago woulda been all over that ahahhaa BUT NOPE! im goooood..! my hangover really didn't kick in til like 5pm on sunday.. and i was REALLY extremely badly hung-over. which is weird, cause i never get hung over. my usual complaint a day after partying is me being tired, or something being sore from rocking out too much.. but NOPE! not yesterday. yesterday i was really hung over.. and i was a fucking mess. woke up today feeling extra good though! and in two weeks i should finally be getting my passport so hollllaaa! plus i got to hang out with my mom dukes today who was looking absolutely LOVELY. after not seeing your mom for a month you kind of grow to miss them.. fuck i love her! .. and i don't wanna type anymore.. good day!

but first..! one cudi pic for my eyes..


*dangiddy.*
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

& GOD GIVES YOU A RED LIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, WITH NO CARS AROUND..

so do you run it? do you run the red light? i just got slapped in the face with a bunch of shit, and my mom slapped me even harder to say "stop it, we'll be fine". which is word, we'll be fine, but i feel like i still have a right to be angry.. but if i package up all that angry, put it in a box, is that cool?! if i just have a fucking beer with my friends and rock out with my cock out.. is that cool?! i wanted to hit yall with 25..but i'm going to alive and i just don't have the time.. BUT that doesnt mean i won't do it. my camera's fucking spit to shit, it takes random pictures, that is, when it actually turns on. to turn it on, you gotta pull the lens out and hold the power button at the same time.. and after it shuts off right away.. the batteries are fully charged, so let's face it.. it's dunzos. summer's been.. not quite summer. the weather's been shitty, and so has the news. i'm bitter and angry but i still laugh my ass off like everything's cool cuz that's how i deal with shit. sometimes i'll slip and cuss everybody off, but it isn't too often, which i'm proud of. things aren't going my way, but my night life is on point.. i'm good if i don't think about things. wait wait. is this sounding depressing?! LETS BACK TRACK. let's just say, SUMMER, you are one interesting son of a bitch.
i'm about to fucking cheat and hit yall with 25 pictures from the past week excluding the last cause it's from maribeth cuz i needed a filler.. fackahhfff.. the beach, chillin.. and alive in the district (SICKEST SPOT IN LIFE!)

25 CHEATS!

1. LMFAO. oh boy. forreal?! this had me laughing for days. you gotta say it with a sexy male voice though.. and pretend youre wearing suspenders and touch them seductively.



2. drunken botch takes photos like this. the floor had glitter in it! i dunno about yall but that was interesting to me.



3. I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU. damn airplanes for splitting us apart!! *cries in corner.



4. DRY SEX IN THE BUILLLDDDINNGGG



5. i'm here for the music.



6. some zoom for ya fucking mind.



7. told you. i'm dark now. my make up doesn't match my face and bitchess is killiiinn ittt



8. sickest spot in the world.



9. no drama, everybody's having a good time, and life is good!



10. i should do a 25 on this guy, cause i'm sure i have enough pics by now. i'm going to name him FABIO. at the end of summer, i'll post all my pictures of fabio for yall.



11. sup!



12. kings of leon time, i'm gaaame.



13. "bianca he's so drunk i feel bad for him, we should at least like call his friends or something to come get him." "uhh botch, that's the guy that was hitting on us saying such rude shit." "really?! wow. fuck that guy. haha look at him, he just bumped into that tree." or something.



14. i wonder if you know.. how they live in tokyo.. if u seen it....



15. ya fucking cave man!! this is what happens at alive, you fucking rock out and mosh, and people step on you, and spill drinks all over your legs. then you get shoe prints all over your feet.. be prepared.



16. CAN I GET SOME FUCKING STEAK NOW?! to the steak house!!.. i mean..



17. whoa what.. my camera randomly takes pictures once you turn it on.. even if you don't press the button :( but hi. we're at the beach now.



18. we're the smart ones who go to the beach on the week days to the side where hardly anybody goes anddd its all ouurs once we beat up these people and send them home.



19. sleep my precious.



20. AT THIS POINT i was trying to fix my camera, i would have deleted this picture but you can see my insect sting!! not from a wasp, or a bee, it was from a wood-tick looking bug but it wasnt a wood tick.. it fucking hurt though FUCK! and after.. all around the sting, it turned all red with hives all over it.. and it was just burning hot. it was fun.



21. my name is botch, and i am dark.



22. and whatever, have my boobs.. this is a cheating post so fuck it, hey *cheers.



23. this is more like 25 failed pictures, cuz i was trying to get this guy in a speedo but he slipped into his tight ass denim shorts before i could capture him.... yeahhh this post blows ahahahhaha



24. BUT WAIT! speedo man was not done.. luckily he wanted some more sun time and i was able to cop this bad boy.. sadly my zoom no longer works ahahahha.



25. i love this picture cause this day was so fun. maribeth took it. that's my best friend and my boy friend. chillin in the fuckin hood.

okay so i know. this post was kinda shitty.. but i didn't wanna leave yall hanging for another day without another post. so tell you what i'm gonna do.. ima call this post my 15 out of 25.. BUT, i'll throw in a 15.5 out of 25.. which means an extra 25!! which really means you're fucking getting 26 instead of 25.. but this was a cheat so it doesnt really count. i just needed to post something.. since my phone boyfriend can't. just kidding alex, i love you, most days.
uhh fuck! TRUE BLUE PARTY AT ALIVE! and if you aint there you aint shit.. okay so it really isnt a true blue party.. but im gonna cheers to that all night long.. and when "im in miami bitch" comes on, it's so done. i'm gonna get so fucking drunk tonight that my guts will be splattered all over the city.. you know why?! CUZZZZ IM IN MIAAAMMIII BIIITCCCHH!!!
OH YO! i forgot to mention.. i had my first "syntifik" encounter yesterday. it was pretty gnarly./ remember back in the aa days when people would be like "yo i go to ur page!!" well i got a blogger!! this girl came up to me and said "you're 5YN-tifik right?! i read your blog!!" anyway, it was really fucking cool, so yo, whats up! thanks for saying hi! coolesttt thing evverrrr..
dont be shy, say whats up.. regardless of what i say, im really a friendly person.. and yo.. if you see that jason au dude around, yall can go up to him too!! just go up to him and be like "yo.. you're jason au?! dont you like.. know botch?!" and im sure he'll love it.
just kidding son. happy 1 year to the masses..!! (still waiting for my custom birthday tee.. JUSSSTTTT THROWIN IT OUT THERRREEE:)


let's get fucking sloshed.
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

I GOT A REDBULL & VODKA UP IN MY HAAANNNDD..

today i was supposed to get my passport done, but i went to the beach. i fail, a lot. alls the time. MONDAY! for sure. bring me? I'M SO DARK NOW. help. i need new make up, cuz my current make up no longer matches my face.. but i'm broke. holluh. i miss bianca:( anyway i have a few ideas for my next 25's, but i'm so laazy. why did i pick such a big number?! oh lawd.... today it was brought to my attention that some people don't know how to view my full entries?! uhhhh dumb asses! HAHAHA just kidding, just click the "get lost between god and a shot of scotch" link that's at the bottom of every entry.so i was thinking for a long time about this 25. i put people on, then took people off, but one thing that did happen, was this list filling up fast. i consider people products. products of surroundings, of music, of food, and of people. 25 people have made my life, and i'm about to diss them all, right now.


.. just kidding (kinda)

25 (IMPORTANT) PEOPLE

in absolutely random order.



1. MY DAD
BONJOUR PAPA. je vous manque autant de!! je ne peux pas attendre de vous voir encore! you really are everything i aspire to be, and i thank you for absolutely everything you have given me before you had to leave.. BECAUSE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE GIVEN ME, is WAY more than what i deserve. your work ethic, and morals have made me want to become, if possible, as close to perfection as you were. i love you so much, and think of you every day. i know i can never beat you in trivial pursuit, but yo, if you ever wanna scrabble things up, it's so on. THE JETS ALL DAY!! til then, we gotta up calgary. i haven't been up to standards on my bombers this year, but i'll try and reach soon and cheers for you. shabazz is rippin it up ay! ima go ahead and say he's one of the best linebackers we've seen.. rock his jersey, i'm sure everyone'll know whats up. LOVE YOU.



2. BIGGIE
sucha fucking boss, and the only thing i listened to for 2004. seriously, for one whole year, nothing but biggie smalls.



3. CEREZO
i miss you punk!




4. MY MOM
MOST OFFICIAL! some times i realize how much alike my mom and i are. she's way cooler though. she's been through a lot, and she's honestly the biggest trooper in life. like forreal dude, if you took prisoners or like.. soldiers, and done put them in all the situations my mom faced, guaranteed 90% of them wouldn't be able to hack it.. and for that she's inspiration. strong head on her shoulders, the dopest sense of humour, and taking all the crap i've thrown her way have got to count for something. she's taken care of me since day one.



5. NAS
if you don't know how i feel about nas, you don't know nothin!








6. ALEX
fuck you, you piece of shit. just kidding, i love you. relax. you and me til at least january for sure.. :) im kidding. i love you like a rap kid loves breaks. you're the greatest boy in my life. when i get right i promise that we gonna liiive it uppp!! ha seee.. drake in the building! just for you! here's to us and many cakes, blunts, beers, and pairs of sneakers to come!! PURSUE YOUR INTERESTS CUZ EVEN IF IM TICKETLESS....









7. BIANCA
OH BIANCA. we haven't ever really had a flop night. i mean, we've had our share of, "hm" nights.. but i honestly think people could throw us anywhere, and we'd have a good time. FUCK YEAH.



8. SLUG
next to nas, the biggest hip hop influence in my life. he changed rap for me, and i forever started listening to hip hop with a higher interest.




9. ELIZA
even though we have our share of disagreements, we have a fair share of fun. let the good times and red bull roll son! you make me laugh really hard, which is basically working out, so thanks yo! LETS LISTEN TO CUDI NOW!





10. JAMES
because even if we don't see each other for awhile, when we do it feels like we done been hanging out every day. you're the coolest.



11. MARTI
because you seem to be the most care-free person in the universe, and I LOVE YOU.








12. MARIBETH
YA DUNN EVEN KNOW. pretty legit wherever we go. the pictures should say enough.. and i done said it enough times, i got chu kid!



13. MARLEY
dude has gotten me through some tough times, and he did so beautifully.




14. MY SISTER
you'd think that sister's grow to be some what of a mom figure. my sister was the opposite. she pretty much was my mom first, and then became my sister. which is nothing bad. she holds it down as ill na na whenever needed, she has my back, but she can still throw down a good lecture if needed. having a sister is awesome when you have nothing to wear, but you also get the benefit of phone calls during break ups, and late night drives when you're feeling kind of down. i've been lucky enough to live with my best friend, and not many people can say that. i'm even luckier to be related, and that's word. plus she's a girly girl and keeps me from completely turning into a rowdy ass chain-smoking beer drinking spittin on the cement boy. she's retardedly pretty, smart, and she can sing a bad ass tune.. and if ever you've had enough of the three, throw a worm on her and i promise it'll be a good time >=)



15. JESSICA
this girl is hilarious, beautiful, and she gave me the greatest gift in the world.. a god son. plus her name's pretty ill na na;) she's crafty and sweet, and i've known her since i was 12 years old, and we're still friends. thats keepin it real.





16. RICH
because we match music wise! you're my concert partner, and i can always count on you to have something good playing. we have never had a bad time, go team!



17. PHILLY
because this isn't the list of good people, this is the list of people who have had an effect on me.. and philly's included. i still gotta thank him, for making me realize how things REALLY are. i'm quicker to notice faults now, and it's saved me quite a bit of heart ache. regardless, fuck you dude. hahahah




18. BONIBELLE
even though we're not on the greatest tip right now, we'll get back.. with time. i still got you, gayness. i still got you. waddup.



19. TIN
you fucking asshole. you're sucha fucking little jerk but i love you. in due time we'll be taking photos, attending concerts and living life as we were and lady, i can't wait for it. you're in id-yot but hey, you're still up on the rankings, you just have a bad review. AHHAHAHAAH omg im sorry, i love you.



20. JANET
so i love janet? WHO DOESNT LOVE JANET?! anyone that doesn't love janet, clearly knows nothing and should die. she's the girl everybody loves, and she's one of my best friends, no matter how far she is!







21. TEEJ
you make music and life fun. i miss you like crazy! step back into my life!



22. MY BROTHER
you're the sickest artist i know, SON!



23. CUDI
OH CUDI!!!!!!!! you are one of the greatest things in life! plus he holds cigarettes in his ear!! i'd do that, but my ears are too small and the cigarette always falls down. HOW DO YOU NOT LOVE A CIGARETTE IN THE EAR?! TELL ME HOW.

24. LEM
first off, we only have like two pics together, and we look fucking gross so i refuse to post them! ahahha ew ewew, wtf.. but anyways, i can always count on you to answer my 3am drunken phone calls, listen to me rant/cry, or laugh at my wack ass jokes. so thanks.. and uhhhh yeah...cop me some shoes from footlocker son! read my blog nd shit! one! hahahahha



25. ESSA
even though you're not in my life anymore, you taught me a lot. i'll leave it at that.

this post just took me 3 and a half hours. FUCKING A!

OH and i forgot to mention, i made it to 15 000 hits!! that was on my list of goals that need to be completed by april 11 2010.. SO HOLLA! one more down. thanks biiiiiiitttchhhesssss!! now i want 20 000 by december. get to work! hahahahah
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

I MISS MY CAMERA.

*sigh. life without a camera just isn't the same! especially as a blogger. ugh i wanna cry! hahaha. ugh life. throw me a fucking break here. i break/lose something important like every month. my id.. my cell phone.. my wallet.. the list goes onnnnnn and so do my 25's...... at least technology has advanced enough to allow the world cameras on our cell phones. ALL HAIL THE CAMERA PHONE..

25 CELL PHONE FLICKS!

1. yo you try and be the one to tell me this cow boy is not whylin'. his pose is on point and he has a purple lunch box. you can't fuck with that in the wild wild west!!



2. oh bathroom pictures.. i personally hate them, but after endless misses of trying to get both of us, we just had to.. plus this night was so wild.



3. HOMESKIES! awwwww.. dont you just miss the summer nights in winnipeg when you would head out to the plaza and blaze and laugh til three in the morning?! sooo good.



4. oh teej. you're just the nicest, ever.



5. oh poker nights. gotta love poker nights:)



6. this is marti. we were fighting because i wanted to sleep, AND AS ALWAYS, he wanted to sleep too.. BUT MARTI YOU ALWAYS SLEEP! and i was soooo tiiired.. after enough arguing, we ended up making enough room so we could both sleep.. for five minutes then it was time to go hahaha



7. oh look another tuazon! this is richard. i was living on like four hours of sleep, and rich was living on like two hours in like 3 days.. and we finally got to lay down. sleep my precious, sleep!



8. the beer was too expensive and the strippers were ALRIGHT.. but at least i got a lollipop! .. i hope it was clean. LOL



9. HOME PART TWO!



10. what is better than hot weather, beers, hip hop and cigarettes?! nothin/. absolutely fucking NOTHING.



11. carm mother fuckin' raz. i still want that nas shirt son..!!



12. OH BIANCA. 3 in the morning, do you know what that means?! IT MEANS JOHNNY G'S SON! get that food in our belllyyy.. and like five glasses of water please.



13. these are my doggies. they were bezz frennnzzz :( every time i see this picture it hurts my heart a little.. i miss this so much!!



14. UFC FIGHTS. all day.



15. sooooo fuuuuckinggg pretty right



16. so it was like +35C outside. seriously, it was hot as fuck.. and this girl was rocking a fucking red wool sweater, some sweats, and these socks. SANTA CLAUSE FACES, all over these socks. seriously dude, it was mad summer, and she was rocking these christmas socks. respects though, she go hard. i pinned this pic to bonibelle and she messaged me, "jingle fucking bells" and i was laughing so hard, hoping she didnt hear my berry make that camera sound.



17. glock clocked, we stocked ahhaha. DISGUSTINGLY GREAT.



18. so i guess most pics on my phone are of bianca hahaha.. we were upstairs hanging out with keys n krates.. only the craziest show ever. sickest night, sickest music. that's my word.



19. yup. that's a hot dog. yup. peanuts, peanut butter, strawberries, some jam, and some fuckin capt'n crunch on that shit! YOU DONT EVEN KNOW.



20. this is the man who bought it. thanks for letting me try.. that. he's the biggest r kelly fan i know, and i hope one day, he gets to share the above hot dog with him.



21. on our bike ride the other day, we spotted a BAMBI! HELLO BAMBI! bambi was actually a lot closer than this picture makes it seem.. i feel like if i were to ever pet a deer, it wouldn't be soft.. that's fine with me, i'll just take pictures of them from my biiike.



22. YO CHIIINA! get on that best buy tip and hook me up with a fucking camera yo!



23. this statue scares me. her eyes were mad scary, the flash took away from their darkness.. but aCk. BEAUTIFUL, but scaryyy stills.



24. REALLY?! how.. do.. i .. REALLY?! let me just.. maneuver.. like.. this .. does that work?! can someone help me out here?!



25. they're back in action! guile doesn't look so pansy-like anymore. he actually looks like he can handle business.

YALL KNOW ME.. i'm rockin' vans, im in the sand.. i got a redbull and vodka up in my handddddd..I'M IN MIAMI BITCH! so i'm still at number 13 out of 25.. 12 more to go. at least i made it to the half way point?! hopefully i'll be able to finish this saga by the end of august. i think my sister and i might go to a concert next saturday at the pyramid. step ya game up son, yagerbombs are on special there, so i'm pretty sure it'll be a fun night.. as for this weekend, bound to be too crazy. i dunno why i'm so excited, it's only wednesday!!
i had a good day today. i went to work, and it was a good day. nothing special happened, it was ordinary.. i'm just in a really good mood, which is shocking cause i still haven't really slept yet.
i am faaaaaaaaattt bitches. can we treadmill mother fuckers please?! or at least go biking more?! something~!@! help me out! i need motivation!! and a nicotine patch!! oh life, im such a fail. i loove cigarettes too much to quit. let's face it, they look cool.
i want a horse! a horse that doesn't poop or eat or drink water, so i only have to worry about riding it! or i can just hope for a horse and a butler who looks after my horse.. that makes more sense. i love kid cudi.
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

I TELL YOU WHY SHE DO IT..

alive on saturdays is officially the greatest thing in life right now..!! i will be there every saturday for the rest of august. red jumpsuit apparatus on the 18th, and pete rock on the 21st come in second. i am officially on a $40 budget for weekends. absolutely NO going over. if something comes up, too bad. suck it up and be ghost. i decided to quit smoking today. yesterday the boys wanted to go to the park. that turned into sushi. i'm running on zero hours of sleep and mass amounts of red bull.. so let's get to bloggin. forgive me for the lack of blogging, my brain wilted momentarily.

i've been writing since i was seven years old. it's not always great writing, but i'd like to think my piecing of words is greater than the average. sure, my journals from the age of 7 were solely about the ninja turtles, strawberries and swimming, but i grew lol. i started keeping a journal in 1995. i was sittin in my mom's restaurant, annoying her to shit, when she gave me a journal. i started writing like crazy.. i remember thinking that one day my journal would be found and that would be the way i got famous. my dad passed away in 1995, and when that happened, i went on a writing binge. my spelling was awkward, but my emotions, my emotions were described so vividly, that even though i was seven years old, i remember the exact stings of emotion that ran through me the moment my pen hit the paper.

i don't plan to share the seven year old botch diary with you (maybe some day!).. but i would like to take you through things that i have experienced. some things are crazy redic, and others are spits of truth.. remember, these are snippets, so it's not all going to make complete sense, but hopefully you get the vibe, cause that's all i'm aiming at. "......" represents pieces of more writing that i just didn't include cause it wasn't necessary. 25 excerpts from my journals, one time for ya fucking mind.

25 SNIPPETS

1. OCTOBER 6, 2007
"...my tears are making my world blurry and the pain is shattering all the glass that used to be the words, 'stay up'...."

2. NOVEMBER 19, 2008
"..CORMEGA! too fucking under-rated man. he's one of the only emcees who kept his music fucking gangster, along with his attitude.. and he stayed underground! hip hop being compared to a woman is always the best metaphor.. dude's so right on everything. we gotta read, we gotta learn, we need that knowledge.. in order for our minds to stay.......bold."

3. DECEMBER 29, 2008
"they say, 'live life like every day is your last'.. uhhhh WHAT?! i'd be like partying and sky-diving every day if i lived up to that statement. like honestly, that shit would be exhausting.."

4. FEBRUARY 4, 2009
".. i'm all for progression. i know that technology evolves daily. sounds, and music in turn will be different. hip hop has grown and evolved so much in the past fifteen years... mp3's took over cassettes, and fuck a turntable when you have a mac, that shit is brutal....i'm all about the veterens. the people that came first, they created what i love, and i will never let that fade. i take music seriously, it's my fucking life, and that is said without hesitation. the people that are casual listeners, FUCK EM'. how they gonna stand there and tell me what's dope?! fuck you! soon stevie and sinatra won't be getting their props!! not all music fans can be music students, i can't force hip hop on the world, and i can't control the industry. it's business. all i can do, is support who's ill to ME, and educate what i know, but only to those who are WILLING to listen. music is art. van gogh only sold one painting his entire life. real art gets recognized, even if it takes awhile. & hip hop, hip hop is art. clock, keep ticking."

5. SEPTEMBER 21, 2008
".. he's a compulsive liar, and he's ugly as fuck! SO WHY CARE!? frustration took me here. i thought once i started writing, an answer would follow, but nope. nothing yet. fucking a."

6. AUGUST 19, 2008
"i don't know if emotional writing is the best kind of writing, but i do a lot of it..."

7. AUGUST 20, 2007
"he called me at 7 this morning. i won't lie, i was so fucking happy to hear his voice."

8. JULY 28, 2008
"i love toronto.. back to winnipeg tomorrow, but that's fine cause i'm homesick. i'm sure once i get back to winnipeg i'll be toronto-sick. why can't they just be side by side!!...."

9. APRIL 3, 2007
"...it drives me crazy that i'm not the girl who drives him crazy."

10. OCTOBER 9, 2006
"i'm losing myself to a battle. let me re-phrase that. i lost myself to an asshole....i end up crying to songs that put the emotions that are tying up my stomach in knots into words i didn't know were explainable. i'm not gonna say i love dude, but i would love to know what it's like to love. cause if it is this, it hurts too fucking much."

11. NOVEMBER 13, 2008
".. really when it comes down to it, what makes race?! one day, that is, if humanity doesn't destroy itself, everybody's gonna look like everybody anyway, everybody's going to be the same. the only thing that's going to be able to define a person is your mentality, what's in your heart, what you believe in. that's why i write. everybody says, 'racism, racism' blah blah, bull shit! there's only one race, HUMANITY! the idea of seperation, of color seperation, only exists because we choose for it to exist. what will happen once we're all the same? how will we seperate ourselves then?! by what we look like? by what we eat? nah. by what we believe in. by character, by philosophies, by the stuff that's interenal, because the external will be the same.."

12. AUGUST 17, 2005
"..tell the world, they ain't ready for us kid. they just ain't ready."

13. AUGUST 7, 2005
"dear toronto, you can hate me all you want! another day another struggle.."

14. AUGUST 4, 2005
"so yesterday i spent the whole day with ryan face. genuinely nice guy, a fucking gentleman. if we work out, we work out. if we don't, nah fuck that. we'll make it work."

15. AUGUST 5, 2005
"i leave toronto todaaaaayyy. i hate departures."

16. APRIL 25, 2005
"coming of ages was SICK. dunk competition was LIVE! blaze blaze. juice juice.."

17. APRIL 21, 2005
"420 yesterday was too crazy. the ledge was too nuts. 420 was nuts. all of yesterday was just nuts. i think i'm still head bust..."

18. APRIL 4, 2005
"my brother found out i smoke today. i was giving him money and my belmonts fell out of my pocket..."

19. APRIL 2, 2005
"WHAT?! you're gonna MSN BLOCK ME!? mother fuck you. like is that supposed to hurt my feelings or something!? it's msn douche bag."

20. MARCH 22, 2005
"...when she said it, my world stopped. my hands got cold, and i felt the knots in my stomach build up. my superstar?! MY number one?!....all i want is yesterday. yesterday. when sunshine filled the sky, when pain was never an option, nor a thought. where she was healthy, and we were happy. when she was mine, and i was hers, and nothing could break that..."

21. FEBRUARY 14, 2005
"'steady. be strong, don't cry no more' - nasty nas.....i trust one person, and one person only, MYSELF. BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY..."

22. DECEMBER 21, 2004
"I HATE YOU PRE-CALCULUS!"

23. JUNE 27, 2007
".. it's like i have to cross a bridge because on my side there's a bunch of hungry wolves, but on the other side, there's hungry lions. either way, i'm fucked yo."

24. NOVEMBER 18, 2004
"...so i was complaining to him, like 'my basketball team sucks, steven sucks, and it's getting so cold outside' and his word was like, 'so come here, fuck steven. i'll play ball with you every day and i promise to never criticize your game, and you can wear my shirt.' he really is the best...."

25. MAY 3, 2009
"an update in life, gotta make it happen. so i'm in love with alex now. fack! alex!"


a lot of changes went down in my life.. haha. this took me almost two hours to re-type from my notebooks so i hope yall approve. i didn't go any earlier than 2004, just because i THINK i might do a part two. we'll see. 1!
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

WELCOME AUGUST..

JULY 2009
lupe fiasco - birds and the bees
jay-z - i can't get wit that
memphis bleek - when you hear that (ratatat remix)
black moon - u da man (evil dee remix)
kid cudi - switchin lanes
consequence, kanye west, john legend - whatever you want

this summer fucking sucks! i'm not like, crying over it or anything. but forreal. this is the worst summer of my life.. music, concerts, bbqs, $$, sessions, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?! uhh .. 25?you know how you see people and you're like "fuck i just wanna tell you everything!!" but you don't.. cause either the things you wanna tell them are too rude, not suitable for the location, or you're just not ready?! i'm about to break that barrier. KIND OF. no names listed. just 25 things that i want to say to 25 people. no names are needed, i think most will be able to figure out who they are. it didn't take me long to come up with 25 people, which kind of trips me out.. like shit!? really?! esco, let's go.

25 SPEECHES

1. although people think you're lazy, i love it.. but i think the only reason why i love it is because your life makes me feel better about my life. i'll always stick up for you, but i really want you to get your life on track, and i believe you can, so step your game up.

2. i always try to push my fate into your hands. i'm a big believer, i really believe that big things can happen. i wish you wouldn't doubt that all the time.. and every time i come forward with something, you seem to shut it down before i have time to finish and i HATE that. you never try and look at things the way i see them, and i always try to look at how you see things. open your eyes, just for a second, i'm still here, and you holding my hand would help me out a lot. i love you, and although i stand tall, at times you can really make me feel two inches tall.. regardless, you're my everything.. but there are times i don't think you get that. YOU'RE MY EVERYTHING. i would take a bullet for you~!! i would give my life for you! I LOVE YOU. & i will never be able to say "thank you" and "i love you" enough.

3. you're boring. that's it. you're fucking boring. everything that comes out of your mouth, bores me. i've tried, i've tried to become interested but i can't. you're rude, and you talk A LOT of shit, you bring out my flaws, and you say things that someone of your stature SHOULD NOT. if i get nothing out of this, i don't care. i'm only cutting you out of my life because keeping you in it is too hard, not because i don't want you there.

4. you really are fun.. you're a blast.. but sometimes i get worried that you think a little bit bad of me. like i'm a punk, so i try really hard to prove to you that i think you're awesome, and i really appreciate you in my life. believe me, i'm way more than grateful.

5. you're fucking beautiful, i wish you could see that.

6. i will never trust you fully again, but you've been in my life too long to shut out, and i need you.. even if i can't have that same relationship. just stop trying to please everybody, and work on what you think is RIGHT, not what you think will make people happy. FUCK PEOPLE. you run your life, YOU DO. so focus on what you want and GO FOR IT. don't feel so lonely, there are a billion people who love you, but you gotta realize that we love you for who you are, not for what the world wants you to be.

7. i feel like i don't know you at all.

8. fights on the daily, dude you got me crazy. if you lost the temper, i swear we could have a kick ass time. don't trip. life sucks but you're still around, so deal with it. don't cuss at me, i'll cuss at you, and then we just end up with broken dishes. can i get a hug and a high five please?!

9. i will NEVER, forgive you. EVER. you turned months into an infinity of hell, and i will NEVER forget that. i'm not mad anymore, i'm just disappointed. i think every month or so i ask myself, "will he ever man up?!". it's a realization of "no. he's an idiot. fuck him./" that replays over and over, and i'm finally fucking cool with that. karma gets you every day, and no matter how many times i see you with blood dripping down your face.. that will never satisfy me. i can't wait til the day i hear you're locked up, and you're headed down that route, so peace.

10. you always talk about yourself.. when someone is telling a story, you find a way to relate to it, just so their story can become your story. & you only compliment people so they'll compliment you back.. and you're cheap.

11. i think of you here and there, and i think about you.. and if you remember me. i'm not sure if you ever figured it out, but you changed my life for the better, and no one has ever helped me the way you have. you're amazing, and every time i think about you, i want to cry. you don't know how much you did for me, and i hope that one day i can tell you.. THANK YOU.

12. YOU'RE A POOOOOSER. stop pretending to like everything in the world, everybody knows you're a phony, you fucking phony. ugh. ew. die already.

13. things aren't the same anymore. i miss you.

14. i'm so jealous of you. you're pretty, you're down to earth, you're funny, and you dress fucking wicked. you're my idol, and i appreciate having you as a friend. i'm lucky.

15. you're too much for me to handle, and i don't know why i put up with it. it's a vicious cycle, and i wanna get out but i just don't know how. i don't believe anything you say anymore, but i act like i do, and i don't know why i do. one day you're gonna knock on my door, and i won't answer.. that will be the day that i've grown up.. and that will be the day you will start growing up.

16. you kinda talk like you're some ill na na sometimes. slow it down.

17. with everything that's happened, i STILL wonder how you're doing.. and although no one's really said it.. i kind of miss you.. that won't change my mind though, you're still fucking nothing to me.

18. i know it's not my place, it's my opinion.. and i know i have no right saying anything, i've been there, sure, but it's not my chair to sit in. in the end, this is YOUR life, and YOUR choices, and you're gonna do whatever you feel is right regardless of what i say. i just keep saying it because i love you to death and i hate pain. i'm not an idiot, and i'm from winnipeg. i know who talks shit about me, and i know what happens behind closed doors.. and no matter what words are being said, or what's going on, i still have so much love for you.. i never want to be controlling, trust me i don't.. i just want you to look back on life when you're 80 and say "wow.. i am so happy right now".

19. we can't. we just can't. i'm not sure if you feel the same way i do.. but we gotta step back and look at where we stand. being on the same court doesn't make us team mates. i love you, really, i fucking love you.. and it's becoming harder, and harder to maintain something so good when we both shelter everything we've ever thought from each other. i got you til the end, i promise you that. can we have a beer please.

20. I LOVE YOU. i talk about you five billion times a day.. i think about you five billion times a day.. and you're basically in my brain all the time. you're wicked.. you're amazing, and although this gets a little hard at times, i'm willing to work at it if you are.. but hold on, i got another line..

21. i wish you would just call me and say, "i'm coming over!" and then we'd draw stupid pictures the whole night.

22. don't throw your life away. you got big tings gwan.

23. i'm sorry. i don't know why, but i hold on to you clinging on to me, and that's horrible. ahahha but seriously.. you're alright dude, you're alright.

24. i wish we were closer friends, cause fuck you're soooo chill, you listen to such good music, and i just wanna talk to you all the time!!

25. wow. i've already started crying. you do that to me. every single time. i'm scared. 21 years, of being scared. i hate talking to you, but not hearing you.. i miss you so much.. i try to do everything for you and i hope it's good enough for ya. actually, it's not good enough for me, but i'm still trying. i believe in you, and there are some days when life isn't life, life is a count down. a count down to talking to you, and telling you absolutely everything. every night before i sleep, i think about what your input would be. what you would tell me what was wrong and what was right. i know i done fucked up a lot, but i still hope i'm doing okay by your liking. you're everything i strive to be, i hope i can be half the person you are. *daps.
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )