SOMEONE TO KEEP ME WARM AT NIGHT.

Babe alert. Wild Belle with the hippie funk flex.

MISSING PERSON.

It is extremely important we all keep our eyes open right now. So many thoughts with his family and friends during this time of urgency.

Kanye has always been good at one thing, and that's knowing his music. His sample of the above gem in "Fade" was top notch. HE'S ALWAYS BEEN GOOD AT THAT. There's one thing he knows and that's music. Can you imagine going through this guys collection?! OROROROROROR.. can you imagine what he plays at his dinner parties?! I'd like to think it's curated heaven. Only a few people have the ability to explore music in such depth, and he's one of them.

However.. he's made better albums, and the hype surrounding this one was too high. There's no fluidity, no consistency, and how many producers were on this album?! BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE TOO MANY. Although, it did have me laughing the whole time. His disses were kind of hilarious. He is one funny man. I'm going to listen to it again though, because I liked it, and probably need to appreciate it more. Julius told me that Pitchfork gave this album a 9/10, so who the fuck am I?! "I Love Kanye" for instance, although somewhat expected and unbelievable was kind of what he needed on this album for us to like him a little more, and also, totes made me spit out my beer from laughter. Whatta guy.

I'M ALWAYS LATE TO THE PARTY.

Let's be real, I'm always late to the party. All parties! Music parties, dance parties, movie parties! I'ma be late for that. HOWEVER I AM NOT THAT LATE TO THIS ONE. I am finally listening to "The Life of Pablo". When I get sad and emotional, I music really well. Better than regular. Be excited. Drafting thoughts.

WICKED.

What a wicked game you played to make me feel this way
what a wicked thing to do to let me dream of you
what a wicked thing to say you never felt this way
what a wicked thing to do to make me dream of you
And I don't want to fall in love
No I don't want to fall in love
With you

WUTWUT.

I always imagined myself as a roamer. I pictured myself as a successful writer, writing on a mountain, sipping a beer, admiring, thinking, living. That's not what I am right now. That's not where I am. But I'm still holding onto the fact that that's who I am.

I feel like I'm a risk taker by heart, but not by mind. I'm careful and strategic, I'm planned and organized. That's my mom. My mom has always been have a savings, pay off your shit, attain things, attain stuff. Now my dad, my dad was skiing in the winter, skydiving in the summer, drinking cocktails in the jungle, and basically.. always just working toward an adventure. I think both my parents exist in my being in some sort of way. That.. is both a gift and a curse. The gift is that I do not believe in luck, I believe in effort. The curse is that sometimes I hate how cautious I am.

The guy I dig is a nomad. He's able to pick up and leave whenever he wants. He's built himself to let go and live wherever anything takes him. I admire that sooo much. I'm almost.. jealous about it.

I've got to do more, you guys. I've got to be more. I owe myself that. I wrote in my diary at the age of 6, "I like to write". SOO.. I at least owe it to her right?! Whether that be at school, in notebooks, on napkins, or here.. I owe that to myself.. my 6 year old self.

I need to do what I want, I don't really know what I want, but that's okay. I think everyone reaches this point more than once in their life. I hit it like every week. It could be something simple like, "Tomorrow I'm going to fold my laundry". JUST DO THAT. OR DON'T SAY IT. Stop making these tiresome goals that are less. No one's encouraging you here, you need to do it yourself.

Every single trip I've been on, I've thought, "I should just stay". I've thought that. Every trip. That should say something, shouldn't it? Whether you make yourself to stray and return, or continue on adventures, you shouldn't give that up, and you should make that happen. I really don't know what's best for me, or maybe I do, but don't want to.. but if I don't find out now when will I?

I'm dedicating the next month to myself. There will be a lot of tears, and a lot of booze, and probably some mistakes.. ugh. I am not looking forward to that part. Just excuse me while I pre-cry a little bit...

Hey, Botch, what's happening? I'm not really sure but hopefully I find out soon. See you guys thereeeeee..!!!!!