HEY NEIGHBOR,

You know if you would stop mowing your lawn, I wouldn't have to mow my lawn. Then we could both just have jungle yards, and not give a fuck! BUUUUTTTTTTTTT.. since you keep mowing your lawn, you're making me look kind of bad, brah. Stop being so proper and live a little, join my fucka lawn party..!


Seriously guys. Anyone wanna come over and mow my lawn?! Fuck.

AFTERNOONS WITH TYLER DURDEN.

Botch: "Hi, I'm here to beg for my phone back."
Tyler Durden: "Okay. So beg."
B: "Oh please oh please, fix my phone it's been a week!!"
T: "Good begging. Okay let me try some things and i'll see if that works.."
*fifteen to twenty later*
T: "Okay! So I tried some stuff.. and it didn't work!"
B: "Fun."
T: "The good news is, I found the problem.. it's your data port."
B: "..... ..... okay.. and.. then. So? ...???"
T: "It's a big job, I gotta take it apart and solder it."
B: *dies a little inside* "Okay, so when?"
T: "A couple days."
B: "I shall return, Tyler Durden, I shall return."


P.S. I think his real name is Rob.
P.P.S. Although he's mighty pleasing on the eyes, his news is never fine.
P.P.P.S. Wah :(