OH NO, SHE'S NOT A SECRET NOW.

NOBODY LIKES A CHILD WHO COMPLAINS, AND I WON'T BE THAT CHILD ANYMORE.

some of us wouldn't be lying if we said we were trying too hard, but it all works out in the end. some of us would be trying too hard to begin lying, but.. but it seems to all work out in the end.

LOL. OH HALLOWEEN.

I'VE GIVEN UP ON SOCIAL NICETIES.

I THREW 'EM OUT WHEN I THREW OUT YOUR KEYS, ALONG WITH ALL YOUR RECORDS I CAN'T STAND. YOU NEVER EVEN LISTEN TO ANY ONE OF THEM. YOU'RE NEVER GONNA DRAG ME OUT AGAIN, WITH ALL THE PEOPLE THAT WERE NEVER EVER EVEN YOUR FRIENDS.WHAT'S WACK WEDNESDAY
my partner in crime and i some how came across the topic of "psycho relationship drama" in a conversation yesterday. now, i don't own a phD, and, i'm no psychiatrist, and i've never had my mind thoroughly picked apart.. but i'd like to think that the two of us are fairly intellectual and 100% normal.. but what makes normal?! certainly not drama-filled relationshits. now, since i've come to the conclusion that we're both not psycho, we've both taken the role of "momentarily psycho" in relationships.. and we've come to this final thought.. psycho relationships make you psycho.

now.. there are two ways that i could go about this entry.. number one, i could leave it at the one paragraph.. NOT going any further.. ORRRRRRRR i could tell you stories that the two of us discussed. WHICH WOULD YOU LIKE?!

well, i already know the answer to that question.. BUT BEFORE I DO, i would like to announce that i am completely risking everything i am to tell these stories.. and i am completely nervous about this entry, as well as petrified.. but i figure that this is my blog and i have to be as honest as i can, in order to fully show both how i've grown and also how normal i am.. hahaha. SERIOUSLY. psycho relationships make you psycho. i'm not psycho!

i am also not going to list which stories are mine, and which stories are b's. anonymity needs to play at least a small role. i'm also keeping them short. less details.. to protect both myself and the past.

CASE NUMERO UNO
girl lives with guy. guy doesn't come home that night. the next morning he arrives. she yells at him, he's fucked up and passes out. she tries to wake him up, he refuses then gets mad. he hands her a bat, tells her to hit him if she wants. then he takes the bat from her. she leaves, and falls, cutting her leg. he leans over and says, "you have nowhere to run baby."

CASE NUMERO DOS
in an argument, she slams his head into a car window. repeatedly.. followed by a lot of punching.

CASE NUMERO TRES
after a dispute about money, he takes all her cash, and rips it to pieces. she gets out of the car. he crashes the car into a tree.

CASE NUMERO QUATRO
after guy admits to cheating, girl sleeps with him.

there's a lot more, but i'm going to leave it at four for now. we'll see what kind of a response i get from this first. let it be known though, i do not approve these circumstances nor do i wish to ever live them again, but everything, GOOD OR BAD makes you who you are.. and although we didn't feel it at the time, all experiences have taught us just how amazing our lives are now.. so yo, you're either the last one standing or the last one to fall.

WAHHH!

he posted it up today and it made me really happy to see it.. long distance lovin' is certainly a job in itself.
it's hard being stuck here in the books receiving copious amounts of pictures, i'm extremely jealous. i'm also really stoked that he gets to live the hippie life of beer and the open road with endless possibilities. i took the effort of stuffing a solid note into his j's before he left.


can we say "fuck you lex" loud enough?!

montreal next? get 'em daddy.

A 14TH MOMENT WITH BOTCH.

i kind of really hate all people who are "fine with the way things are". i don't care if you're a broke ass bum, or if you're a millionaire, there is ALWAYS that next level. i pride myself in knowing that no matter what my situation is, i just have to keep reaching for that next level.. time doesn't mean shit, but effort does.
beer is my best friend. i'm kind of insanely ridiculously addicted to lipstick. every color needs to be in my life. why hasn't anyone invented the perfect mascara yet?! if i had that i'd never wear eyeliner again!
i hate lazy people. & anyone who wants to take that sentence and say "are you lazy, botch?" can suck a dick. i work extremely hard, and party even harder.
i feel like 85% of the people in my life are ignorant-minded slow people who don't understand good books because they only have enough brain to be dumb and annoying.
my basketball coach used to get angry when my team and i would yawn in practice. he would yell, "IF I'M TOO BORING FOR YOU, YOU CAN LEAVE PRACTICE". so in order to cover up my yawns, i would lift the neck of my shirt to cover my mouth.. this action happened frequently in practice to wipe sweat off the face, or if you had to sneeze/cough and not spread germs. it was the secret yawning weapon that could be passed off as a wipe/sneeze/cough.. and to this day, i still do it out of force of habit.
i love brussel sprouts. they're my favorite vegetable. i also thoroughly enjoy black licorice candy. two things that are cliche "hates". nope, not i. i looove them. so when i was a kid, i always got extra cuz them other kids was like "ew i hate this!" and i was right over there being like, "I'LL TAKE IT!".
i am currently going through a "lace phase". anything with lace, i gotta have it! lace skirts, lace sweaters, lace everything, I WANT IT.. and a bullet necklace to go with it!
can someone please dye my hair for free?

GROWING UP.

current thoughts: i'm nervous. i need to quit smoking. anger. i'm tired. i can't do this. world, stop turning for a second. my mind is a complete fuck. i wanna cry. i am crying. emotional mind fuck. fear.. and a shit load of "i need more money in the bank". clear up your schedule botch, it only gets harder from here/
i could really use a slap to the face right now.

don't be a pussy botch. life throws swings at ya, you gotta take 'em. okay. okay. everything will be okay.

so, this is life?