SEOUL, KOREA

battery's about to die.. and we're sitting on the airport ground.. it's about 3pm in winnipeg, and it's 4am here.. my last 13 hour flight we didn't see daylight but we were able to cop some dinner and breakfast so that was pimp. i was able to watch the proposal, my sister's keeper, the hangover and finding nemo.. and then my brother showed me the hip hop section where illmatic was available for listen.. so i blasted that shit for like five hours or something and it was pimmmppppp!! that helped me sleep. the girl in front of me kept putting her chair back to the fullest but im alive.. and well. so as the laptop battery dies, ill bid my farewells. no sunshine since i left winnipeg and i kind of really miss sunlight.. WHEN ITS MIDNIGHT, AND ITS SOLAR.. ill be back once i find a charger or some shit.
oh and someone tell me how beer here is like $7 a can.. i had free wine on the plane and yall are tryna charge me $7 for a can of beer?! what isss thiiisss!!
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

I'LL BE GONE WAY PAST NOVEMBER

peace winnipeg.. I'm ghost one love.
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

DAMMIT BOTCH, YOU SUCK.

my list of things to do consists of 23746817459435 things. my list of accomplished things, consists of 0 things. my suitcases are empty. my bathroom's a disaster and so is my closet. i have this weird tendency to have my bathroom clean before i leave, otherwise i think about it constantly. same goes for my room. i have downed two red bulls, my pen hasn't hit the paper.. and cleaning my sink didn't exactly feed me ideas for the piece(s) i'm working on.. but yo, at least my sink's clean? i don't count that as a thing done, because my sink is just one part of my still disastrous bathroom. mother fucking cock bitch slut. HELP ME BITCHES. i'm in the progress of pulling an all nighter, and i'm not sure how the writing's gonna go down with a brain that hasn't hibernated in four days, but i'm fucking positive the outcome will be comical. times like these i wish maribeth lived next door. i'd make her come over and make me a timetable/chart to complete by certain times. that shit would be all color-coordinated.. probably laminated and shit. & that's totally what i need right now. i'm excited to get the fuck outta this biatch, and nervous too. yo scarborough, ten hours left. i see you baby. i'll be back with another entry to avoid the list of things to do.. til then, red bull you are my bitch.
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

ROCK OUT WITH YOUR COCK OUT

FINALLY, IT'S FUCKING FRIDAY!
good-bye botcho rage weekend all weekend.

let's drop kick this weekend in the fucking face!! pour redbull and vodka down the bitch's throat, light a belmont, pause, take a picture, yagerbombs, five beers then bust a nut on her fucking face, slap the bitch, then call her a dirty slut! HOW YOU LIKE THAT WEEKEND ?! you like it rough?!! ya trick ya.
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

MY NAME IS BOTCHO..

AND I DUG A HOLE.

i dug this hole a long time ago. i think i was.. fifteen. i haven't stopped digging. i'm still here, looking for the treasure box.. but the treasure box is on the other side of the island. so what do you do?

you bring your readers a story.

i like to tell myself i know exactly what i want. i like to tell myself that i know who i am. i hold on to hip hop and sneakers with my fist tight, thinking "this is you. this is what you love." & other days i'm like, is this really what i love?! or do i just love it to love something.
the big dream is to become a writer. that's it, no back up plan.. but wait a second, is that what i really want?!
the goal is simple, career. have kids. introduce said children to nas. have the sickest nike loving hip hop heads on the block.. but how do i get there?!
same shit, every day. routine this, routine that. your room's a mess botch, clean it. work time still, do it. which shoes do i wear, throw em on. launudry, and fold it. music time, press play.
then you sit and wonder.. when is it time to change the track, cause i've been listening to the same song on loop and now that i know all the lyrics, i'm scared to throw a new cd in. once that new cd goes in, will i forget the lyrics to the other?!
i'm not good at doing things on my own. i don't need "push" but i crave it. the hands on my back shoving me forward are the only things that keep me stepping. otherwise i'd be in the same spot, forever.
i never really like change, unless it's bold. a simple swing of changing schools isn't enough for me, i like to change cities. i think bold change hits me harder.
i'm 21 years old, but it's been five years of being 17.. i feel like i need to grow up but i can't feel the hands on my back so i stand.. completely still.
&i'm not mad at that, nor am i complaining. i've trained my mind to enjoy what i have, and where i'm at, cause i'm not the only one digging a hole. in fact, some people are way deeper, and they don't have hands pushing their back.. they're not even sure if there's anything in that hole, but they keep digging for that hope of faith that what they want will.. pop up. i'm not like that. sometimes i think that okay, things will just happen. some days i think, nah you gotta work hard for it.. and it's an endless tug-of-war between the two.. i'm in the process of training my mind to do both, because no matter how i get to where i want to be, once i reach that point, i can expect satisfaction.
i'm happy. completely. everything is solid. i just feel it's time to step out of the hole and start digging another.. and yo, if this is the wrong spot again, i'm completely cool with that. trial and error are the only things that bring you surprise.. and i need surprise.
i'm really looking forward to tuesday, because my bags will be packed and i'll be starting something completely new, and completely different. i'm not expecting to hop off an airplane and have all new adventures make me who i am.. but i am expecting to find out a little more about what i'm about.. new adventures, new stories, new life.. and i couldn't be any more ready. it's time to breathe botch, grab a shovel.

esco, let's go.
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

PULL YOU CLOSER, I CAN SEE THROUGH..

A COUPLE TROUBLE MAKERS, MAKING MAYHEM ON THE DOUBLE..

AND ITS SOLAR, AND ITS OVER, GUESS ITS ME AND YOU.5 more fucking days son. five more fucking days!

i LOVE school, but i HATE homework.

I JUST WANNA GET THE FUCK UP OUTTA HERE AND PARTTTYYYYYYYYYY!!

i need a hair cut, tims, space jams, money, a new jacket, my laptop back and some lip gloss in my life.. asap!
my wallet is a fucking JOKE ($36 to my name whaatttt!).. and my cell phone bill is $141.35.. how is this gonna work?! ahaahaha.. gotta hustle this weekend, got to.. hustle$$$$ casino anybodehhh?! where iz zombieland! HUH! SOMEBODY TELL ME! botcho's going away ALL weekend rage this weekend, drinks on YOU! whooo whooo!! today bonibelle and i had a small walking date. i love her:) i'll misss youu beeeyatch!! :( I WANT CHRISTMAS! is it just me or is time going eXtra slizzow this year?! i realized i haven't done a SUMMER re-cap yet, so i'll try and post that later if school time permits. uhhhh my room is a dees-ast-uR. i cleaned it like last week and it was mint, then rage got the best of me and it is finito! i have so much shit to do, and i'm officially freaking out. freak .. out. have you ever had a boyfriend that you don't talk to?! i haven't spoken to my boyfriend in two weeks. DAMN YOUR JOB TO HELL BABY! damn your job. i got five days to behave and not cheat on you!! hahahaaha. i'm kidding. misss yoouuu..!
CAN YOU PEOPLE RE-ADD ME TO UR BBM LISTS NOW PLEASE?! i lost my contacts and this 6 people contact list is kind of really fucking pathetic, with this amount i might as well get an i-phone. WHAT UP! homework time, one love.. (act like you didn't lol @ that.)


the things i'd do to youuuu..


( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

ROLLIN, ROLLIN, ROLLIN, I AINT SLEPT IN WEEKS..

IMA DO JUST WHAT I WANT, LOOKING AHEAD NO TURNING BACK.
if i fall, if i die, know i lived it to the fullest!


cormega dropped. i haven't bought it yet. i'll cop it thursday and report my feelings then.. uhhh.. what else is going down in the world?! yankees, all day.. uhhhh.. jon gosselin needs to stop being so douchey.. if you haven't purchased the kid cudi album yet, you is crazy. buy that shit!@ i lost my ENTIRE bbm contact list, so re-add me please. nas > jay-z. eliza is back! ten episodes of "how i met your mother" or whatever it's called, and aCk! i'm addicted.. alive on saturday anybody?! i need a new bikini.. and lip gloss.. cot damn do i need lip gloss. wanna do lunch?! rage every day. seriously, every single fucking day!! the way to maintain a wicked kick ass lifestyle is confidence.. so i'm fucking awesome. uhhhmm.. on my grind bitches!
my doctor says to me, she says: "how often do you drink.."
botch: "ohhh you knooow.. socially.."
doctor: "okay. how often is that"
botch: "oh youu knoww.. like once a month." (obviously a lie lol)
doctor: "and how much, like one drink? one a month?"
botch: "like.. three." (obviously another lie)
doctor: "okay, i'm going to ask you to try and limit it to 2, your liver will be done."
so yeah. i'm basically fucked ahahahahaha.. but pffttttt.. what does she know~! phD!? what?! thats all?! i got two jobs!

OCTOBER HAS BEEN TOO FUCKING CRAZY.




i'm so tired! but fuck it.. waddup scarborough! six days!! awwww shiiittt.
have you packed yet cuz i haventttt.. son of a--!@#*$%^
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

SO.. THIS IS LIFE?

THAT PARTY LAST NIGHT WAS OFF THE CRAZY & I WISH WE TAPED IT..

EDMONTON!! fab four, good people, alcohol, and a mother fucking stagette. no time for an essay, check the pics, bitch!


this ladies and germs, is my sister.


i don't think yall have met her yet.


.. but she's getting married


so we threw her a SEMI-surprise stagette.


.. and here's how it went down.


one of her buddies made her a book of dares she had to complete by the end of the night.


here's a sample.


i love her:)


she ain't heavy.. she's my sistaaahhhhh..


if you didn't know we were related.. it should kick in now, no?


lol i got chu b


clearly i've taken better pictures ahahah


GOTTA LOVE EDMONTON!!


flames yo, one time.






do my ladies run this mother fucker?!


helll yeahhh


souljah boy, tell em'


you're my buddy.


:)


ggw


"you must give a condom to two different men and get them to blow them up at the same time."


THATS IT?! too easy.


SHE NEEDS TWO MEN!


"you're number one."


"so how does this work exactly?"


"well, IM the bride."


"well we'd do anything for a bride!"


"haha"


"EVERYYYBODDEHHH, SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!!"


"YAAGGGERRR BOMBS.. LEMON DROPS.."


"oh ya we have a mission to fufill."


"we gotta do this dare for the bride!"


"wait.. wait.."


"EVERYYYBODDDEHHHH!! SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!!"


"focus."


WAS THIS EVEN IN THE DARE?! HAHAHAHA.


"okay buddy. focus. game face game face."


what?!


challenge number 32786 COMPLETE!


rage.


asher roth was there to play the drums..


WHATTT!! I LOVE YOU ASHER!!


i forgot to turn my flash back on..


oops.


there it is


too much flash, and too much boob-age. close call, close call.


CLEARLY, I LOVE EDMONTON!


apparentally, i wasn't doing exactly what i was told.


& maribeth arrested me.


my sister has my back.


THE GREAT ESCAPE!


i rock band-aids hard.


my sister just rocks hard.


fuck. she's got the legs of a vixen!! DAMMEEETTTT. hahaha


dare number 532, get a free drink from the bartender.. WHO WOULDNT GIVE IT TO ME AT FIRST! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!? hahahah


dare number 23, take a blowjob from between a dude's legs


complete!


"this is too easy, give me a challenge."


checkin em' off faster than nike


the couple in the back was whyyylin


dare number 456, get a guy to take off his shirt and swing it around like a cowboy


my sister and sylvia


WHATTT!! this is my english teacher. hahahahah.. i'm a good writer right? RIGHT!?


dare number 896, get a girl to drink a shot from between ur boobs and then shake them in her face!!


*shake shake*


COMPLETE!




pretty sure you're not allowed to bring that inside hahaha


dare number 52, find a pole and dance up on it like hot fi-yah.. COMPLETE!


=)


NICK! you punkkkkk


this is my buddy.. hahahah


i love you biatch:)


end of the night.. is that.. actual jizz coming outta there?! hahahah and by jizz.. i mean alcohol.. or..


whoot whoot, love you.


20,000 hits, and we're gettin bigger and better.. good lookin' out bitches, good lookin.. new lupe is too fucking crazy!! lupe, release lasers already!! i'm antsy! weather is fuckin' dope, 7 days til i see scarborough, still broke but fuck it.. everything is fucking awesome! AND IM SPENT.. good night!
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

THROWBACK.. THURSDAY?!

I'M NO DIFFERENT THAN THE GUYS, I STILL KICK ASS & TAKE NAMES. I JUST DO IT WITH NAIL POLISH AND LIP GLOSS.

so i'm not sure if this is going to be a series or not.. i know last week i did wednesday, but i didn't decide i wanted to do another one til now. new regular? you decide. if i get three people who COMMENT saying they want it, i'll keep doing it. otherwise, this is my last one. "your last what?!" THROWBACKS SON.
so bianca and i were talking about sloppiness. it's hilarious about five times a year. any more than that, and it's time to keep the money in your wallet, put the alcohol down and get to knitting.. bianca's last sloppy night was our first time at whiskey dix.. OUR FIRST NIGHT AT WHISKEY DIX, hay, new location, an okay time to get sloppy..! (she puked at work the next day haha) my last time, was a year ago.. november 16, 2008.
let's re-visit. so this night was looking brutal.. first of all, it was at mybar (ew). i had just gotten my bag stolen or some shit, so i only had like $10, and the line up was ridiculous.. we weren't down, but we went anyways. luckily, we some how got VIP, i think that was thanks to christian?! AND THEN MY BOYS SHOWED UP.. and then for like a straight hour.. it was none stop drinking.. and when you drink with boys, you don't get bitch drinks, you don't even get beer. this was a gin & tonic, a shot of jack daniels, doubles, another gin.. not even double fisting drinks dude, TRIPLE fisting drinks. boys fucking go hard.
i remember some guy stole my lollipop and asking tj to fight him ahah, tj said no lol.. AND I ALSO REMEMBER.. that he bought me a flower from one of those gay bar girls that try to sell flowers to every man in the building! i always ask tj for a flower, and this was the night he got one! he probably stole it ! ahhahaha jaast kidding.. maybe. I remember bianca dancing with some white dude and i kept calling him her husband.. i remember winning FOUR(i won twice!) tickets to the new years party (which i didn't even go to).
ANYWAYS.. i also remember a certain someone hitting another someone with a chair!! and so after that fiasco, the night was so done (SO ROWDY!) lol.. so i'm waiting for bianca to bring the ride around, and i am fine, just chillin. and as soon as she leaves.. it hit me like a ton of bricks. i remember looking at people thinking "WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE JUST BLOBS OF BLUR!" and the spinning.. oh fuuck the spinning. so i'm tryna keep it cool you know, can't look sloppy.. so i lean on this rail, almost fall, and as i'm almost about to fall, i grab the rail.. and as i grab this rail, my lollipop gets stuck in my hair!!
bianca comes around, and as soon as i buckle my seat belt, i un-buckle it, open the door, and puke.. and i'm good to go.. NO, the spinning.. and we're on our way.. nope wait.. i'm fucked. we get like five minutes of driving in.. but i'm still fucked, so we go to the casino, and i see all my moms friends.. and i'm like "good god." trying to not act like such a mess.. saying my quick hello's while trying to speed walk to the bathroom.. we got to the bathroom, and as i'm puking in the casino bathroom, i remember bianca going, "you have 20 missed phone calls.. don't worry you're still pretty.. oh. my. god. botch, there's a lollipop in ur hair!!" those are the only frames i remember, everything else.. gone.
SLOPPY. don't judge me! LOL.. you should have seen bianca at whiskey dix!!!;)




THE TABLE IN THE BACKGROUND.. that was our line up.. and we JUST got there.


can always count on bianca to get a blue drink.. and i love beer!.. not so much beer in bathrooms.. we usually avoid this.




lolllllllll


ahahaha i'm dying...


BEZZY!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW




we're so prepped for thizz one.




OH JAMES.


with that timberland shirt, how can you not be-friend him!?


thanks guys. thanks.

maribeth's last sloppy night was totally at alive last weekend ahahahaha! sloppy biatch!

raaaggeee. these pictures also make me miss tj! ALI! tell your boyfriend that we need to watch zombie land! ZOMBIEEE LAAANDDD!!

FOUR CORNERS OF THE WORLD GET TO REUNITE THIS WEEKEND! WHATS UP EDMONTON!

the manufacturer who makes these hats needs to stop!

the only person who can rock them is common! yo maribeth, isn't it irony that he's wearing plaid LOL

speaking of disappointments..

NOOO!!!!!!!! i'm furious.
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

CUZ ONCE A GOOD GIRL'S GONE BAD..

I KNOW I DO A LOT OF BAD SHIT, BUT I CAN'T QUIT.
nobody can, so don't try to say that my mind's sick.

DECISIONS. HEART-BREAK. SMUDGED LIPSTICK. BLOCKED PHONE CALLS. A FEW TOO MANY BEERS. A PACK OF CIGARETTES. & A FUCKING ATTITUDE.
the time on your phone says it's time to go home, but the music says, "just one more song".
it's always the same. always ashamed story-telling.. and we just don't give a fuck.

i want to hold you close. skin pressed against me tight..
as i whisper in your ear, "i wanna fucking tear you apart".
12 days scarborough. 12 days.

TIP: details make the girls sweat.
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

SCOTT MESCUDI.

i wanna lick your face! ..and bite your neck.. and..
i could watch the "make her say" video for the rest of my life. real talks. i am so in love with this man it's retarded.

i just spent fifteen minutes drooling over cudi google pics.. here are my findings, please, drool a little. it's cool./ he's so fresh, all the time! he's such a tall glass of yum.. and gahd. i need to meet dude.. someone. work on that.










down with yeezys!! but toros?! bravo.





if i was kid cudi, i would google myself. & then i would find this blog, let's say it was called.. ohh i dunno.. 5YN-tifik.blogspot.com, and i'd be like "ohhh wow. this botcho girl is mad dope.." and then i'd e-mail her. telling her how dope she is.. and then i'd fly down to see her.. and ask if she wanted to have my babies.. and she would say yes. & we both would live happily ever after.

KIDCUDI KID CUDI KID CUDIIII ALLL DAYYYY.

p.s. i love you lex. ahahaahaahaaaha
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

MY BED IS MY SANCTUARY.

ugh. worst thanksgiving ever. no exaggeration there. it was my first thanksgiving without my family, and it kind of made me really bummed.. *sigh.. it made me even more bummed cause i'm not having halloween with my friends.. BUT AS SOON AS I GET OFF THAT AIRPLANE AND STEP FOOT ON TO WINNIPEG SOIL, yall better already be ready to raaaggeee!! christmas! new years! my birthday!! a party because it's wednesday!! whoa. let's not get ahead of ourselves.. broken paragraphs and slight grammatical errors, esco, let's go! i kind of really badly need a hair cut. my hair's facking long it's disgasting. i kind of also really need some hair dyage up in this bitch. so if anyone would like to become my friend? & dye my hair? that'd be sweet. 15 days is too gnarly right now.. like i'm starting to trip out cuz it's so gnarly. i'm excited and nervous and scared and so totally ready. these past few weeks have been brutal, but i know it'll all be worth it.
now if only the graffiti heads would stay on my damn suitcases it would be all good!
being a girl is lame. i need to get my eyebrows did and soon. otherwise i'm never leaving the house ever. aCk! someone needs to host an early halloween party. cmon! DO IT! please?! :(
so i got a twitter. SLOW. your. roll. i only made it just in case i decide to get a twitter, no one takes my user name. aw. wompwomp. i need to see zombieland right now! aCk !! it's killing meeee~!! i wanna buy make up but i cannn't. some dude today had the justin beiber ring tone. i wanted to laugh in his face!! but i didn't. i want cupcakes. i want new mittens. i want a new scarf, and like five new beanies, and ten pairs of tights, and leggings, and cartons of cigarettes, anddd andd andd.. someone to buy them for me...yeeeeeeeessssssssssss....this entry is going no where..forgive me. i'm livin off of 6 hours of sleep and i am head bust as fack right now.. i was going to refer to "shit i want to write about on my blog" notes. & by notes i mean, pay stubs, receipts and american apparel business cards.. but yeah. that's all the way in my room and shit. 'til tomorrow..
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

HAYYY GURRRLL HAYYY!!

so i totally just got home.. when i totally have to be out the door again at 6!! UGH. what is this life! i'm not complaining too much, i like the busy. but chyea, i just don't wanna get ready. i totally should be doing that now, but here i am..
i need lashes, and i think everyone should buy me lashes.. why?! cuzz.. it'd be a nice thing to do? k cool. thanks. sephora why do you burn my wallet whyyyyyy!!
in other news, i finally got my contacts in the mail today, THREE WEEKS LATE! yeahyeah!! let's just hope i don't rip them in the first week like every other pair i've owned..!!
in more news, WHAT IS WITH GOSSIP GIRL!! stop adding celebrities dammit! you make it hard to watch.. it loses its realness.. and what's with the lighting?! why does everybody look all orange and homo now!? daH faCk mayne.
speaking of "daH faCk".. daH faCk mather nature! what is you sayinnn?! what is with your bitch ass?! i love christmas! but yo.. chill out on the cold yo. this wind is not doin wonders for my hair.
watching movies totally was killin shit this weekend, but i juzz couldnt do it.. so i was kinda really thrilled when bianca called. alive turned out to be alright. i'm sick as dog, so my fever was through the roof, i tried to jump and rage away my sickness but with no success. the beer made me feel better, but that's juzz because i love beer. the scale doesn't love beer though. cot damn. can i get a jog up in this mother fucker?!
my wallet is so hurtin! when did i get all these adult expenses and shit?! i'm like "yo i'll just win the lottery" but buying a lotto ticket isn't in my budget.. ferrfuxxxsake.

uncle: i think you must have been smoking pot in here
botch: what?! what are you talking about?!
mom: well what is that bottle?
uncle: yeah, it's for pot.
botch: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..

ugh i should totally get ready.. even though i just wanna lay here..
i'll be back later cuz i am in a bloggin zone right now.
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE..

VIA PHONE;
bianca: so what cha doing?!
botch: fucking shit all. we're so lame.
bianca: we can be lame some times..!
botch: yeah i guess so.
bianca: why, did you wanna do something?!
botch: i don't know.. did you..?! is that why you're calling me?!
bianca: no..! no..! i just.. wanted to--OKAY! yeah that's why i'm calling!
botch: hahaha ok shit! we're going to alive! ima shower.

people tell us slow our roll, but we screamin "fuck that!"..
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

SO DONT LET THE NECESSARY OCCUR! YUP.

hey.. i miss you.

CONFESS THAT SHIT TIL YOUR MOUTH GETS TIRED.
i turn the anger that is forced on me on to other people. i make them feel guilty for shit i did.
i feel that if wrong is done to me, i deserve to get even.
i'm extremely cocky, and believe that i am the greatest thing to come to earth.
i'm also extremely self-conscious about being too skinny or too thick.
if i don't like someone, i thrive on their downfalls, it's like energy.
i try to right my wrongs by finding non-existing loopholes to make them seem okay.
i feel like sometimes, i might only do nice things to make myself look good.
i'm kind of an asshole. i smoke too much.
i talk a lot of shit. i spill drinks on people i don't like.
i yell at people, i cuss like a fucking sailor and i actually like intimidation.

i'm an in-sensitive, arrogant, heartless, whiny little bitch & think i'm a princess.

& the staircase to perfection never seemed this long.
i know it's impossible to reach the top, but i won't stop climbing.
i need to better myself, & maybe not just for me, for him too. & her. & him. & her, and i like herrr.. and i like herrrr tooooo (there's the joke so this post isn't so seriouzzzz)

regardless of how much i hate this, i deserve every bit of how things are right now.
it's karma. slaps on the wrist aren't always enough.. and i know that. it's just hard to know that. you know?!

time to get your mind right. toughen up botch, you love the kid.
19 days left.
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

THROWBACK WEDNESDAY

2005


2008


2009

wow....
2006


2007


2008


2009


2006


2007


2008


2009


2008


2009


2008


2009


2008


2009


2008


2009


2006


2008


2009

wow..

if life hasn't changed enough already, my brother's moving to cali cali caliiii..

.. and i'm sick. & broke..

i created a twitter.. not to "tweet", just to secure "syntifik" in case i ever decide i want one.
that's my excuse & i'm sticking to it.
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

ALL THE CRAZY SHIT I DID THAT NIGHT..

those will be the past memories.



my room is messier than jason au's.. & MY LIFE IS MESSY TOO! so i'm cleaning up. can we cut out the cigarettes? can we cut out the redbull & vodka? can we cut out the beer? can we cut out the nights that last til 5AM? hmmmmmmmmmm.. good questions botch! you got some answers?! nah./ i got nothing. i got this voice inside my head that says "YO BOTCH!! take er' easy." then i got text messages that say "warehouse party, i'll get you in free, beers on me." and then my voice says, "WHAT DO I DO!!". i'll tell you what i'll do!! i'll blog about how i don't know what to do! what?! wait.. what?! k den.

20 days yall.. 20 days.. but TONIGHT.. i am saying "fuck everything" in a good sense. i am not leaving the crib. i am cleaning up my room, and my life.. & i've got it completely under wraps i think. i'll blast man on the moon & illmatic, let some sunshine in, change my sheets, have a rewarding beer.. and as my thoughts are just as scattered as my wardrobe, i am looking forward to grabbing them and hoisting them into bundles of confidence, organization, & truth. esco, let's go.

p.s. that new roots track is boss. thanks mike.
p.p.s. i think all my friends should leave twitter and convert to blogs. i'm just sayin..
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

LET'S GO TO SLEEP IN WINNIPEG, WAKE UP IN TORONTO..

my paitience is short, and of course, my pride is way too tall..

BREAK IT OFF. SMASH THE PAST, LIKE IT WAS MADE OF GLASS.. AINT NO OTHER WAY TO MAKE IT LAST.

( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

I AINT SLEPT IN WEEKS..

CAN I GET SOME KEYS N KRATES IN THIS BITCH?!




sometimes the decisions i make seem wrong to some.. i believe everything i do is not excusable, nor applaudable, but nothing is regretful. i regret nothing.. and if that makes me look like a bad person, let's base regret off of a few thoughts. i'm a 21 year old female with one life, and one life only. i would like to look back at shit one day and say, "damnnn that night was crazy!!".. & so far, that sentence has frequented my mouth more than "i love nas".. and you know thas some shit.. i just came to get lost between god & a shot of scotch!

the night started off with the p.i.c..


and ma!


my favorite local dj!!


this is like our best picture ever.. we need more.


whoa whoa lady.. save some of that action for over here;)


botch meets maribeth.


love and electrik surprised us.


girls voice = too dope (i think her name's roxy but im not sure..), and kevin = the shit


good pictures?! i juzz dont know how..


i don't know who this is, but he rocked shit.. MIA SUNSHOWERS?! hellllooooo awesomeness.


two times in three months?! call this city lucky.


weak crowd, weak venue, & i don't know how they still killed it, but they still killed it.


jr flo needs to be recognized.. give this man a trophy!!












THE FIST SHAKER! oh lawwd.. this guy was feelin it, and he showed you he was feelin it by shaking his fist like it was nobody's business.. if anyone knows this man, please give him daps.






the way garth brooks twangs his guitar.. same feeling.


same feeling!




we like your scarf:)


maribeth does too.






aw bezzies.


it's a good look.


9 compared to 50?! i'm juzz sayin..


aye ! ang galing!



i might post the other vids from this night, but i'm smizzashedd in them so we'll see! ..and so let's re-cap. the venue was shit.. first time i've been to that piece of shit in like two years, and it made me remember why. promotion was poor, after texting everyone asking where they were they were like "what?! i knew nothing about it?!".. crowd was.. there were a lot of douche bags. there were the select few cool people but i feel like they weren't hype enough. bianca maribeth and i were fucking raging, and people were looking at us like we were crazy.. but fuck you guys! people tell us "slow your roll" but we screamin "fuck that!".. shout out to awesome sounds and jack daniels for making this night wicked. keys n krates killed it, as expected, and if you haven't seen them yet, you're trippin. get on that asap. i went to write a test with zero hours of sleep in the same outfit and some gum in my hair (whattttt?! gum?!! fuckinnn drunk azzzz).. i'm not too sure how i did on that, but i'll post what i got some time this week./ i was told i smelled like alcohol and cigarettes.. i told dude i went to keys n krates, and he fully watched their vids on youtube while he marked exams lol.. after i wrote that shit, i went downtown to have lunch with bonibelle, then i went to the library to get some study on.. which just turned into me blazing.. i ended up not even really sleeping on friday and i don't know why?! saturday is something i don't wanna talk about.. and with that being said, we're at sunday.. OH SUNDAY.
22 more days til i see my boyfriend, and 23 more days til i get to say "PEACE.. you stupiiiiddd MOTHHHAHHH SUUUCKKKAHS!".. i've never looked more forward to getting on an airplane. big things in 22 days people, big things.

my life kicks ass.. sorry fuck it if that offends you.
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

&SOME SHOWERS, I'LL BE AIMING AT YOU..

cause i'm watching you, my baby..

he had his way, i'm bored of him. i'm tired of him. i don't wanna be as bad as him.
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )

PEOPLE TELL ME SLOW MY ROLL..

WHILE IM SCREAMIN.. "FUCK THAT!"..

KEYS N KRATES!!!!!
if you have nothing to do tonight, come out.. and if you have something to do tonight, cancel it, and come out.
matisse i wanna have your babies!!

dance. drink. jump. drink. jump higher. hand waves. laugh. drink. spill some beer. shots. cheers. almost fall, laugh it off. apply lip gloss. check phone. no one called. another beer. cheers. jump. shots. rage. that's the plan. tonight's gonna be a rager. fucking raageee..

enough to make me extremely hung over for a test tomorrow morning?! let's fucking hope so son!! everybodddehhhhhh.. SHOTS!! SHOTS!! SHOTS!! SHOTS!!

SEPTEMBER 2009
kid cudi - cudi zone
kid cudi - enter galactic
a tribe called quest - award tour
nas - represent
a tribe called quest - 1nce again (keys n krates remix)
lords of the underground - funky child
( GET LOST BETWEEN GOD AND A SHOT OF SCOTCH )